Chapter 318 Dreamlike Chang'an
The psychological pressure exerted on someone pursuing a clearly defined goal is vastly different from that of someone pursuing a goal whose very existence is unknown. The former tests only perseverance, while the latter tests much more.
I once told Zhu Shi that if I weren't a superpowered person, I might not have been able to persist in investigating strange events until now. Although Zhu Shi said that even without superpowers, he would definitely continue his pursuit without any change, that was ultimately a hypothetical scenario. Just as I would ponder whether I could do it, others would certainly have doubts about my ability. Just like Chang'an right now.
He has indeed come to his senses. However, not from this dream, but from the delusions and fantasies that have accumulated in his heart over the past. He seems to have lost all faith in me.
“Of course, I know exactly what you’ll think after hearing me say that,” he said. “You’ll probably think I’m a complete idiot, right? That it’s all just me indulging in wishful thinking and feeling betrayed. I’m nothing but a ridiculous buffoon. But…”
As he spoke, Xiao Chang'an's voice became incredibly melancholy, like a child who, despite being unable to continue fantasizing, was unwilling to face reality, and who never grew up.
Unable to face Mr. Zhu and Zhu Shi, and treated as a chore and a tool by his father Ying Lingyun and mother Yin Yue, even friendships have faded in his heart. There is nothing in the real world that can help him out of the darkness.
He seemed unable to maintain that carefree smile any longer.
"So what? You mean because I disappointed you, I can't draw you back to the real world?" I asked.
"Go back... Zhuang Cheng."
This time he called me by my full name, and closed his eyes resignedly: "Thank you for expending so much effort to save me, but it's too late. Just let me die here and be completely devoured by the Silver Moon. I don't want to think about anything anymore."
"Aren't you going to keep struggling? Do you want to just let the evil man-eating monster continue to take over your mind and body?" I asked.
"Give up on me." His voice was filled with exhaustion.
Seeing his unseemly behavior, my mind flashed back to all the things I had seen and heard in the dream, and then I made a judgment.
"You're not Chang'an, are you?" I said.
"What?" He opened his eyes.
“You’ve shown your true colors, Silver Moon… My friend isn’t as fragile as you seem,” I said. “I’ve always been puzzled as to why there’s so much information in my dreams that Chang’an shouldn’t know. It’s all because of your power, isn’t it?”
"Since ancient times, dreams have been regarded as an extremely mysterious realm. Some believe that dreams can provide clues about the past and future, and there is even the concept of precognitive dreams. Someone once explained to me that human consciousness can transcend time and space, and the reason why divination can collect information about the past and future is because it utilizes the innate transcendental attribute of consciousness. It's just that humans are limited by their own constraints and cannot fully utilize its capabilities."
"But Silver Moon, you are different. As a being beyond human beings, you are not bound by the innate limitations of humans. Therefore, you can even use your special abilities to rewrite history at will. It is also no problem for you to peek into the history of Chang'an that you have never witnessed but which actually happened around it."
"Think about it carefully, and you'll understand. Right now, you and Chang'an are inseparable. In a sense, you are Chang'an who mistakenly believes you are Silver Moon, or you could say that you are Silver Moon with memories of Chang'an. Therefore, in the spiritual world, it's impossible for only Chang'an to appear without you—unless you are interacting with me in the image of Chang'an."
Xiao Chang'an said, "Still saying these nonsensical things... Can't you accept my disillusionment with you?"
“More importantly… Silver Moon, just as humans cannot truly understand your thoughts, you cannot truly understand human thoughts either.” I continued, “Perhaps you think that Chang’an idolizes me, and once humans are disillusioned with their idols, they will naturally be utterly disappointed and wish they could abandon the self that once admired the idol… But Chang’an and I are not in an idol-fan relationship; we are friends.”
"Even if our initial acquaintance stemmed from a misunderstanding, we've been through so much together. The bond we've built up can't be severed simply by saying 'it was all a misunderstanding.'"
"You just want me to give up on saving Chang'an."
Xiao Chang'an frowned.
“Even if things are really as you say…” he said, “if I really were Silvermoon, why would I have shown you so many of my past troubles before? A lot of those things were unrelated to the main point you thought it was, weren’t they?”
"Because your soul was severely damaged by me," I said. "My flames can distinguish friend from foe and would not damage any part of Chang'an. Therefore, when I severely injured you before, it was most likely that I only caused great damage to your Silver Moon component."
"Furthermore, your soul already contained contradictions stemming from its inability to process Chang'an's memories. The severe injury caused you to temporarily lose control of your self-awareness regarding Chang'an. It wasn't until halfway through that your self-awareness finally regained dominance and began attempting to bewitch me—am I right?"
Xiao Chang'an was silent for a moment, then sighed and said, "It seems that your wisdom has increased a lot since you became the Great Impermanence."
"No, this is not wisdom, but intuition... Although your reasoning does not exceed your existing knowledge, the reason you were able to reach a conclusion so quickly is because you grasped the truth from the beginning with intuition and then reversed the process."
"In that case, it's no use for me to nitpick your reasoning."
He seemed to have given up on refuting it, but did not transform into the appearance of the Silver Moon.
"Aren't you going to change back to your original appearance? Do you want to continue using my friend's childhood face to bewitch my mind, or is it that due to the severe damage to your soul, you can't even change back to your original appearance in the mental world?"
As I spoke, I summoned a fireball: "No matter what, you have nowhere to escape now, Silver Moon. All you need to do next is burn all the spiritual elements of you in Chang'an to ashes, and you'll be completely finished."
“You are certainly capable of doing this now, but you’re not the type to talk so much nonsense before you take action, are you?” He looked at me coldly. “Actually, you also understand that if you eliminate me, my son will also cease to exist.”
Having been exposed by him, I had no choice but to stop what I was doing.
"Let me tell you the truth, Zhuang Cheng."
Yin Yue used Chang'an's face to reveal an extremely malicious smile.
"—The personality 'Zhu Chang'an' was just a lie I created from the very beginning; it was nothing more than an 'illusion'."
(End of this chapter)
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