Chapter 319 The Silver Moon on the Water
The friends I know... are they just an illusion?
"Do you think I'll believe you just because you suddenly said something so absurd?" I asked.
"What, your intuition stops working here? I've already told you the answer. Whether it's absurd or not, you only need to think about it a little more deeply and you'll understand." The child-like "Chang'an" said with a smile, "Perhaps in your opinion, the personality of 'Zhu Chang'an' existed first, and the memories of 'Yinyue' appeared from her personality without warning one day... But that's the wrong order of events."
"From the moment Chang'an was born, my memories existed in his instincts and unconsciousness in the form of bloodline inheritance. In fact, I should have appeared first. However, Chang'an, who was still an infant at the time, could not bear my entirety, so as a compromise, I could only show a part of myself in him. I didn't even know who I was, as if my consciousness was blank."
"It wasn't until his development reached puberty, when he exhibited secondary sexual characteristics, that I finally came to know my true self. At the same time, more inherited memories revived from within my consciousness, and my power began to manifest. The Zhu family called it 'the demonic bloodline going out of control,' which is a huge misunderstanding. It was simply a natural process of growth. Although I was sealed away afterward, I didn't disappear; I simply retreated back into the realm of instinct and unconsciousness."
"Since you have some knowledge of mysticism, you should also have some understanding of psychology, which is related to mysticism. The relationship between the conscious and the unconscious is like the relationship between the surface of water and the water itself; the latter is the true subject of consciousness."
"The personality 'Zhu Chang'an' is like a fleeting dream I had... Once I, the main body, am removed, there's no reason for Chang'an to continue existing. Where can a 'water surface' exist without 'water'? If you forcibly delete it, all that's left is a blank personality."
“This personality can continue to grow and can even give itself the name ‘Zhu Chang’an’ again, but it will definitely no longer be the Chang’an you know.”
— He was telling the truth.
Although I can question him like a "nitpicker," my heart has already given me the answer.
"Even if it's true... so what?" I said without wavering. "If Chang'an is just an illusion, I just need to find a way to make it real. Since there are monsters like you in this world who can turn illusions into reality, then Chang'an is not entirely without hope of salvation."
After I finished speaking, I realized that this seemingly extraordinary reply was probably within the other party's expectations.
"Chang'an" - Yin Yue's stance is to survive, not to seek death. Therefore, the most important thing to do is not to tell me that Chang'an is beyond saving, but to try to tie her own life and death to Chang'an's while telling me that Chang'an can be saved.
He didn't tell me that directly, but instead used a rhetorical technique similar to provocation.
“Yes, you would most likely say that. Because you and Ying Lingyun are very similar, neither of you are the type to give up easily on things like this.” “Chang’an” laughed, “My father, my son, my lover… he also likes to cling tightly to those non-existent illusions. How adorably naive.”
"If I had met you as a child first, I might have killed your parents first, just like I secretly killed his parents, and then taken you home as a foster mother, and then made you fall in love with me."
"Don't confuse me with Ying Lingyun."
As I responded, I pondered how to break the deadlock. Unfortunately, killing Silver Moon was easy for me now, but saving Chang'an was beyond my power. Even as the Great Impermanence, my power was ultimately only suited for destruction, not protection or salvation. Even if I fully understood the functions of the counterfeit Moon in the Water, I couldn't use it on Silver Moon, the source of my power.
However, I can first control Yin Yue and then proceed gradually. Even if I can't save Chang'an, there will be others who can. For example, Fa Zheng. Since he wants to win over my peace-loving camp, he needs to show corresponding sincerity. He is a very experienced Great Impermanence, and even if he doesn't have the specific skills, he might know who can. Asking him to find a solution is one possible approach.
Controlling Silver Moon for a long time is not an easy task, but since I was able to capture her alive before, there's no reason why I can't capture her again if she tries to escape. At worst, I can just keep burning her soul with flames, keeping her in a state of unconsciousness for a long time—suddenly, a question arose in my mind.
Capturing Silver Moon alive is not only my goal, but also the goal of the Navy's Genbu. Even I think it's not easy to control Silver Moon for a long time, so what makes the Navy's Genbu think it can do it?
He was on the same level as Silver Moon in her prime, while Silver Moon could unleash her full power in the Moonshadow Mountain area. Even if he could destroy Silver Moon with a single blow using his "Golden Core," there was no reason why he could capture her alive on his own. Putting aside everything else, even if he miraculously captured Silver Moon alive, if the latter slightly altered history, all his efforts would be in vain.
"What can't be lumped together? Ultimately, all you want is something that's convenient for you," "Chang'an" continued. "Although you've shown unwavering loyalty to Chang'an as a friend, do you really care about him that much?"
"No, you only care about yourself. After I told you that Chang'an's personality was just an illusion I created, you felt neither sadness nor anger, but quickly calmed down and started thinking about how to solve this problem..."
"I admit you have extraordinary mental strength, but is that really a sign of deep friendship? It was the same in the past. When you realized you were truly in contact with a strange world, the first thing you did was cut ties with Chang'an. In your eyes, adventure is far more important than friends. When you abandon your friends for adventure, you don't shed a single tear."
"It's the same now. If Chang'an is a princess who was taken away by this evil dragon, then you, the hero, are not here to save the princess and fight the dragon, but to fight the dragon and save the princess. Friends in danger are secondary; danger itself is what you truly pursue. You just really like the image of 'unwavering loyalty to friends' and are keen to put yourself in that role."
"You've never even considered the possibility of fighting alongside him. You might think it's all for his safety, but if you were in his shoes and he said it to you, would you be willing to accept it? Is this how you show respect to your friends by putting things that you yourself find unacceptable into their lives?"
"Chang'an is my side, and what I'm telling you now is what my son is thinking. And what I'm about to say is what he wanted to ask you."
"—In your heart, am I really that important as a friend?"
For some reason, "Chang'an" seems to want to dig into my inner self and interrogate my true feelings.
“I admit that Chang’an—or rather, my friends—is not the most important thing to me,” I said. “So what? Does not placing friends above all else mean they are not friends?”
"I was anxious for Chang'an to be caught in danger and tried everything I could to save him; at the same time, I was also excited to be involved in my friend's perilous situation and wanted to take on the challenge as the one to overcome it. Is the latter the only true emotion I feel, and the former just a pretense?"
“Both of these are my true feelings. Don’t try to sway me with your either-or rhetoric, Silvermoon. Besides, what I’m saying now can also apply to you.”
"Chang'an" retorted, "Me?"
“I am indeed a person who only thinks about myself, but even I wouldn’t want to be friends with a bad person like me. Chang’an is a good person who is different from me. His nature is to think more about others, which is why I befriended him,” I said. “He is definitely not the kind of person who would bury himself in his own resentment when his friends are going to great lengths to save him.”
"Perhaps I really did disillusion him, and he was genuinely saddened by my occasional coldness, but that wasn't his whole emotion. It would be a different story if Chang'an himself came to complain to me, but what right do you have to complain to me? Take the simplest piece of evidence: if he gave up on me so easily, would you have needed to go to such lengths to kill me in the past?"
"Stop taking my friend's thoughts out of context. My friend isn't that weak!"
I made my words resounding, and "Chang'an" responded reflexively, "—Does that even need to be said?"
After saying that, he froze for a moment, then shook his head and said with a smile, "It seems my soul has really been badly injured by you. My consciousness is still a bit unclear, and even a dream I have can affect me..."
Why would Silvermoon be affected?
I immediately had a further idea.
"With your power, you should be able to separate Chang'an and allow it to continue existing as an independent personality." I still had my sights set on Yin Yue. "If you can accomplish this and swear that you will never harm anyone around me again, I can spare your life."
Without hesitation, Chang'an replied, "That's impossible."
"Why? Even though Chang'an is just a dream you've created, it still hinders your spiritual fulfillment. Wouldn't it be better for you to cut it off from your life?" I asked. "Or... are you really courting death?"
“If I really did that, I would be useless to you. More importantly, if it were really possible, I would have already separated him or deleted him,” he said.
(End of this chapter)
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