Chapter 17: Paper Boat She loves you, but you let her down.
When Ji Caibing heard the news that the Jiang and Xie families had broken off their engagement, he hurried to the Jiang family to see Cong Ying.
The weather was cold and windy, and her breath turned to frost. She saw Cong Ying sitting by the window, boredly flipping through a travelogue, his expression languid and indifferent. He didn't bother to pick up his pen to make notes until the ink in the inkstone froze.
Cong Ying looked up at Ji Caibing and finally forced a smile: "Sister Caibing, the wind is nice today, let's go to Tiannv Canal to release paper boats."
The Tiannv Canal is not far southwest of Yongdefang. The imperial palace is located upstream. Because the palace often uses underground heating, the canal water never freezes all year round, and people living nearby often water their horses and wash clothes by the canal.
One mid-spring, a traveler found white magnolia petals floating in the canal, having drifted from the palace. He had inscribed on each petal with a needle, expressing feelings of grief or longing for friends and family. The sentiments were heartfelt and resonated deeply with others. This trend gradually spread, and women outside the palace also followed suit. During festivals, the canal would be filled with lanterns, offering prayers to the goddess of heaven. Thus, the canal was named "Tiannu Canal."
When we arrived at the canal from Ying, it was snowing lightly. There were not many people walking along the canal, and even the porters selling water lanterns were preparing to pack up their stalls and leave.
She bought oil paper and charcoal pencils from the porter, and bent over to write on the stone table in the pavilion by the canal. Ji Caibing leaned over to see what she was writing, but Cong Ying gently pushed her away and folded the paper.
Her face was flushed slightly, perhaps because of the cold wind or something else.
Ji Caibing said, "Even if you don't tell me, I know it. It's somehow related to Third Young Master Xie. Are you cursing him to have a toothache when drinking water, stumble when walking, suffer betrayal, and die alone?"
"What nonsense are you talking about?"
Cong Ying held a brand new piece of oil paper over Ji Caibing's face. "The Tiannu Canal is a prayer canal. Curses don't work, but prayers do. Go write one too, fold it into a boat, and we'll release it together later."
Ji Caibing's literary skills were limited to reading account books. What he feared most was writing. He held the oil paper in his left hand and turned the charcoal pencil in his right hand, looking embarrassed.
Cong Ying couldn't help laughing and said, "If you have something that's bothering you, write it down on a piece of paper, fold it into a boat, and let it float eastward along this clear stream. That will relieve your worries. If you have someone you care about, pray for them. If you're lucky enough to have it flow into the East China Sea, the goddess of heaven will be able to hear it."
She has always had a pure faith in the gods and immortals, and this devotion infected Ji Caibing.
Ji Caibing said, "I have already made a fortune, and it is embarrassing to ask for more. My husband is still in Xuzhou buying new cloth, so I pray for his safety and success."
After that, he scribbled a few strokes and wrote a line of flying characters: "I wish Chen Chunzhuo peace and success!"
The two folded paper into a boat, walked hand in hand to the canal where the water was slow, and lowered it. They watched the paper boat go away from them, clasped their hands together and prayed silently.
A thick layer of fresh snow fell on her dark hair and eyebrows, the black and white being distinct and illuminating her face. A few flakes of snow also clung to her eyelashes, washing them to a glossy black like crow feathers, which stunned Ji Caibing for a moment.
Until she opened her eyes and slowly breathed a sigh of relief, as if she had unloaded the burden in her heart, she took Ji Caibing's arm and hid under her umbrella.
"That's good. The goddess of heaven will hear it," said Cong Ying. "Let's go."
Ji Caibing asked her what she had written, but Cong Ying just smiled and didn't answer. Ji Caibing was so anxious that he wanted to tickle her. The two played around under the umbrella for a while, and the laughter gradually faded away, leaving only messy and intertwined footprints on the thin snow.
The snow behind him grew heavier, and the flakes were like mats, falling into the Tiannv Canal, blocking the way of the paper boat.
The paper boat was weighed down by the snow and was gradually sinking into the water. Just as it was about to capsize, a hand suddenly pulled it out of the current.
Her long fingers were as slender and white as jade, but the knuckles were red from the cold, as if she had been standing in the snow for a while.
Suddenly, a suppressed cough broke out, and the paper boat in the palm of his hand trembled.
"Your Highness."
Zi Su took out a hand warmer and an umbrella from the sedan chair parked behind the willow tree, but Prince Jin took neither of them. He also threw away his jade walking stick and leaned against the willow tree, looking at the half-soaked paper boat.
In his previous life, after Ah Ying passed away, he locked himself in the building and sorted out old things. He found a box of paper boats in her study, which were filled with her secret thoughts that she had never told anyone.
I hope my younger sister is safe and happy, I hope my old friend will let go of his regrets soon, and I hope Taiyi Girls' School will prosper forever.
I hope to grow old with Mr. Xie San...
The old ones have turned yellow, and the new ones are just beginning to dry. Because I was not free to go out at Xie's house, I saved a lot of money, but I never had time to send it to the goddess of heaven, and therefore I never had time to realize it.
Every year thereafter, on the birthday of the Goddess of Heaven, he would go to the Tiannv Canal in person and send two paper boats to float eastward with the spring water.
One was left by Ah Ying, and the other was broken off by him as a wish. There was only one sentence on the boat: "I regret it and miss you so much."
These desperate memories of his past life had recently subsided, as if they had all been a false alarm. But now, holding the paper boat in his hands, the feeling of confusion and emptiness from his past life came over him again.
Like a slow but sharp flying arrow, it penetrated into his heart inch by inch.
"Your Highness Prince Jin?"
Zi Su was frightened by his pale face and dark red eyes. She thought that the imperial physician had repeatedly advised her to keep him warm, but today he had been hiding in the snow for more than an hour. Even she herself was frozen to the point of stiff hands and numb feet. She was afraid that the northwest wind would pierce the lungs of this delicate master.
If anything happens to her, how can the princess forgive her?
Zi Su had no choice but to advise gently: "Your Highness, this paper boat is about to be damaged by the snow. You'd better take it to the sedan chair to take shelter."
She realized how clumsy her words were as soon as they came out of her mouth. Zi Su was prepared to be looked down upon. However, unexpectedly, after hearing these words, King Jin actually protected the paper boat and limped towards the sedan chair behind the willow tree.
Zi Su followed with an umbrella and a hand warmer, and opened half of the curtain. She found that Prince Jin was carefully dismantling the paper boat. Zi Su was glanced at and tactfully withdrew.
The creases on the oil paper are still fresh, but the calligraphy on the paper has been blurred by the snow water.
With the help of the snow light coming through the diamond-shaped window, he could make out the words on the paper. It was a short five-character poem.
A tall tree cannot be abandoned, and a gentleman cannot be sought after.
Singing the Yue people's song alone, I wandered to Zhongzhou.
Let my vain thoughts flow with the water and send my affection on a paper boat.
I wish you a bright future and find your soulmate soon.
This is a poem expressing one's feelings...
The Yue people sang: There are trees on the mountain and branches on the trees. I love you but you don’t know it.
It turned out that she was not as cold and indifferent as he had imagined. She did not gradually fall in love with him after being forced to marry him. She was... she had already... fallen in love with him.
Prince Jin held the creased piece of oil paper in his hand, his heart also crumpled into a ball with it. Ecstasy, regret, heartache, self-blame, the tangled emotions surged like waves from all directions, engulfing him in an instant.
He shouldn't doubt her feelings for him.
The snow fell like a sheet of snow. In the silence, only the increasingly rapid heartbeat could be heard. After a long while, he lifted the curtain and said to Zi Su, "Let's go."
Zi Su brushed off the snow on her body, thinking that she could finally go back to her house to warm herself by the brazier. She happily went to call the sedan chair bearer, but when she was about to lift the sedan chair, she heard Prince Jin say, "Let's go to Xie's house."
Zi Su was stunned: "Which Xie Mansion?"
Prince Jin looked at her and asked, "Is there another Xie Mansion in Yunjing?"
*
Xie Xuanlan had a rare moment of leisure at home, but he was not in a good mood. In the morning, he practiced swordplay in the courtyard, cutting the leaves of the osmanthus tree into pieces. He was still feeling depressed and planned to go out for snow hunting in the afternoon.
He sent a servant to invite his eldest brother, Xie Xuanzhi. The servant quickly returned with the reply, "The eldest son is sweeping snow, making tea, and grilling meat around the stove with the young mistress. He said that if the third son feels lonely without company, he can come over and eat with them."
The sentence "It's so lonely without anyone by my side" was like an arrow that hit the bull's eye unintentionally, choking Xie Xuanlan so much that he was speechless for a long time.
Is it deserted? He turned around and looked at his own courtyard. Swords and spears were placed on both sides, and the iron horses and bronze eaves were majestic. Would it be judged deserted if there were not enough flowers, plants, and birds?
Xie Xuanlan threw away the spear in his hand and sneered, "Vulgar."
He was planning to go out hunting in the snow, but then he heard a servant come in to report, "Third Master, His Royal Highness the Prince of Jin has arrived to see you, Master."
Xie Xuanlan was stunned: "Prince Jin?"
The main hall of the Xie Mansion, where guests are received, is magnificent and elegant. Although it is the dead of winter, it feels like spring. The breeze makes the peonies on the embroidered screens tremble, as if they are blooming in the snow.
Xie Xuanlan never liked coming here. In the summer, the icy air made people's teeth feel cold, and in the winter, it was so hot that it warmed people's bones.
But now the King of Jin was wearing a black cloak with a fox collar, sitting leisurely on the main seat, looking around at the carved beams as an honored guest.
In his previous life, he had set this place on fire with his own hands. The flames shot up into the sky, and his father, Prime Minister Xie, turned completely white in one night. The decline of the Xie family began from then on.
Now he revisits his old place, but as a stranger.
Suddenly, he seemed to sense something and turned his head to look towards the hallway. In the cold snow light, he looked at Xie Xuanlan, who was wearing a red dress with tight sleeves.
Xie Xuanlan felt uncomfortable under his strange gaze and walked over and said, "My father is on duty in the government hall today."
"You are the one I'm looking for," Prince Jin paused, "Thank you, Third Young Master."
Xie Xuanlan's eyes swept over Zi Su, who was trembling with fear behind Prince Jin, thinking that Prince Jin had discovered Zi Su's identity and came to call him to task. Just as he was thinking about how to turn the situation around, he saw Prince Jin take something out of his sleeve and hand it to him.
It was a piece of oil paper that was half wet from the snow, with the creases still visible. Xie Xuanlan took it and quickly scanned the contents on the paper.
A short poem expressing feelings, without any resentment or cloying tone, with a top-notch rhythm and style.
What does this mean?
"Isn't it inappropriate for Your Highness to write a love poem to me?" Xie Xuanlan chuckled.
The King of Jin did not find it funny. Instead, he felt that he - his former self - had been so foolish that he deserved a beating.
The King of Jin said, "This is the paper boat that Miss Jiang Si placed in the Tiannu Canal. You broke off her engagement. Have you ever considered how upset she must be?"
"Fourth Miss Jiang?" Xie Xuanlan frowned in confusion. "I cancel her engagement?"
The King of Jin said, "Her love for you is written on paper, not a single word is false. If you didn't break off her engagement, could it be that she broke off yours?"
Xie Xuanlan laughed angrily.
He was already in a depressed mood, and was wrongly accused of something wrong. Xie Xuanlan's face was filled with three parts of sarcasm and seven parts of indifference.
He simply admitted it: "Yes, I despise her. How about I break off the engagement with her?"
King Jin was so angry that his blood boiled. He covered his lips and coughed uncontrollably, saying the word "you" three times in a row. He only finished the sentence after swallowing the blood in his throat.
"You are completely blind and foolish... How could Fourth Lady Jiang's talent, beauty, and character not be worthy of you? You are lucky that she is willing to fall in love with you, but you have let her down like this. Aren't you afraid of regretting it in the future?"
Xie Xuanlan's expression instantly turned cold, and even the polite smile on his face disappeared.
"Your Highness Prince Jin, are you meddling too much? Who are you to Fourth Lady Jiang, and who are you to me?"
Prince Jin coughed a few more times, then took the teacup handed to him by Zi Su and pressed it.
Today, his emotions had been turbulent, and he had spoken too much. His voice was hoarse with fatigue. "I am a dying man who does not belong here. I have no plans against you or Jiang Si Niangzi. I said this rashly just to... have fewer regrets."
This has been his only purpose since he accepted the status of King of Jin.
He didn't want to see himself and Aying being estranged after marriage and wasting their time. He wanted to do something to make Xie Xuanlan understand Aying's difficulties earlier and see his own feelings clearly.
Unfortunately, he went against the will of heaven, and heaven was also playing tricks on him. Whatever he interfered with would always cause trouble.
So today he came straight to Xie Xuanlan and told him Aying's feelings straight out. He didn't care about being ridiculed or suspected, he just hoped to ring a clear bell in Xie Xuanlan's ears.
This made him reflect on himself. Despite the prejudices of his position and family background, he had actually already fallen deeply in love with her.
For a moment, the two of them sat in silence, and the hall was so quiet that you could hear a pin drop.
Xie Xuanlan really didn't know what to say. He subconsciously refused to think deeply about what Prince Jin said and reflect on his feelings for Jiang Si Niang.
The marriage has been called off. Even if the facts are really as King Jin said, what can he do?
Besides, he did not completely believe that the King of Jin's intentions were as innocent as he said.
"The snow has stopped, excuse me."
Prince Jin stood up to say goodbye. Because of his noble status, Xie Xuanlan followed the etiquette and personally saw him out.
He watched the Prince of Jin slowly board the sedan chair. Zi Su was about to lower the curtain for him and accompany him, but the Prince of Jin suddenly said, "It's rare for you to come back. Since you still have relatives and friends in the Xie Mansion, you can stay and reminisce. There's no need to rush back to the palace."
Zi Su's face turned pale, and she bent her legs and knelt in front of the sedan chair. Her lips trembled, but she could not utter a word in defense.
Xie Xuanlan looked at this scene and frowned.
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