Chapter 65: I regret it too late to die, we will never meet again.
Zhao Tingyan had a very long dream.
He first met Jiang Zhuangyuan under the osmanthus tree. He often came to the Jiaofangsi to listen to her singing, and others no longer dared to bully her.
Later, when she heard that his term was about to expire and he would be transferred, Zhao Tingyan followed Si Le's advice and added some medicine to the wine. After getting drunk, she showed him the whip marks on her body and tearfully begged him for mercy. In the end, the two of them lost their temper and indulged in pleasure for a while.
After sobering up, Zhao Tingyan knelt beside him, her clothes folded and her eyes lowered. "I dare not ask for a formal status, but I ask that you cancel my membership in the family. I am willing to serve you as a maid."
"No." Jiang Zhuangyuan gently helped her up: "I will marry you."
This is the first man in her life who redeemed her.
Of course, this marriage was detrimental to the reputation of scholars, and Jiang Zhuangyuan was impeached by the provincial governor. His planned promotion back to the capital was instead demoted to a post outside the capital. His father, Censor Jiang, was furious in Beijing and sent a letter accusing him of misconduct, refusing to acknowledge Zhao Tingyan's status. Zhao Tingyan was heartbroken, and Jiang Zhuangyuan stroked her visibly pregnant belly and said, "Don't worry. When you give birth to a child, I'll forgive you for your grandson's sake."
Lin'er... must be a son who can carry on the family business.
Zhao Tingyan prayed day and night before the gods and Buddhas, spending money on folk remedies to conceive a son. Sadly, the child was a girl. Although Jiang Zhuangyuan didn't express his disappointment or blame, Zhao Tingyan, lying in a heap of blood and sweat, felt aggrieved and wanted to cry.
Is she never worthy of being the young lady of the Jiang family?
Why did this girl want to be reborn into her womb? She didn't want a child who needed her love and protection. She needed a child who could give her the status of a young lady.
From fireflies, from fireflies... What's so good about fireflies? They are just like the cold wild geese on the beach, tiny and pitiful.
The issue of having a son became a source of worry for Zhao Tingyan. She sought medical treatment everywhere and almost forgot that she had a daughter.
From the firefly, like the bamboo shoots growing after the rain, in places she had never noticed, it quietly learned to walk, to talk, to read and write, and to read people's faces.
After seven years, Zhao Tingyan finally became pregnant again.
Cong Ying came to visit her cautiously. She hoped to win her mother's love and said sincerely: "If it's a brother, it's great. It can fulfill mother's wish. If it's a sister, it's also great. I will like her."
When Zhao Tingyan heard this, her heart skipped a beat and she had a bad feeling.
Later, the child was born, and it was indeed another daughter.
Zhao Tingyan was in agony, knowing full well that time was running out, and her chances of becoming a young lady in the Jiang family were dwindling. This sense of helplessness and panic transformed into a vague resentment towards her two daughters. She watched them starve almost indifferently, observing that Congying, at an age when other girls were unable to care for themselves, had already learned how to care for her frail younger sister.
She'll understand when she grows up...
Zhao Tingyan thought sadly that only if a woman married a good man or gave birth to a good son could she settle down and have a chance to succeed.
Later, Jiang Zhuangyuan died of illness while in office. When Zhao Tingyan thought that she would have no one to rely on and would have to go back to the Jiaofangsi to make a living, she and Jiang Zhuangyuan's posthumous child was born - a son, this time it was finally a son!
The old Censor Jiang took pity on the orphans and their widowed mother, and sent people to take them to the Jiang Mansion in Yunjing. Thanks to A Qian and this noble son, she finally became the young lady of the Jiang family.
This is the second man in her life who saved her.
Zhao Tingyan obeyed her husband in the first half of her life and her son in the second half. She thought this was everything in her life.
Although she no longer disliked her two daughters, she had become accustomed to ignoring them. Moreover, Cong Ying treated her more and more indifferently, which made Zhao Tingyan a little angry and embarrassed. Of course, she refused to admit that it was her fault. Instead, she thought that her daughters were unfilial and unreliable, and she loved her son, who was as precious as a pearl in her arms, even more.
But her son, the son she loved for so many years, actually wanted to pawn his own mother!
Her heart felt like a ripped hole, a cold wind whistling in, chilling her bones and making her teeth chatter. Zhao suddenly woke with a start, finding herself lying on the couch, thirsty and unattended. All she could hear was Jiang Congqian's sobs in the outer room and the clamor of the servants busy packing things.
"Madam, please don't lie down anymore," the maid said, wiping her tears when she saw her wake up. "The gambling house people are here to take over the house!"
Zhao managed to hold herself together: "Where is Ah Ying? Where is she? Why doesn't she come out to take care of her..."
The maid said, "The fourth lady sealed up her things, moved out of the house, rented another house, and left long ago!"
Zhao was now panicking: "How could she just leave it alone?"
After the death of old Censor Jiang, the Jiang family suffered many difficulties, and it was Ah Ying who stepped forward to resolve them. Why would she just ignore it this time?
Just as she was stunned, the gambling den's men burst in, led by Zhi Guanyin, accompanied by several burly men who looked like thugs. Zhi Guanyin shook the IOU in front of Zhao and sneered, "Madam Jiang, get up quickly, hand in the deed, and find another place to live!"
Zhao was so angry that she was shaking all over. "You are robbing me! My son is young and doesn't know what's going on. How can he decide the deed to our house?"
Zhi Guanyin laughed and said, "But the name on the property deed is Jiang Congqian, right?"
Zhao was speechless, regretting having written her son's name on the deed. She still refused to retreat, clamoring to report it to the authorities. She threw a Guanyin and said coldly, "Who would you like to report to, Madam Jiang? Is he more powerful than this one?"
Zhi Guanyin took out a token and waved it in front of Zhao. It was a golden token of a prince, with the word "Jin" engraved in the middle. She lowered her voice and said to Zhao, "Madam, don't forget. Your son even wrote an IOU for selling your mother. If you don't leave now, I'll take you with me. Between the Yanhua Tower and the Liucui Courtyard, which do you prefer?"
Fear eventually overwhelmed her anger. Zhao, tears welling in her eyes, said in a low voice, "I'm leaving…I'm leaving."
…
The servants left without being sent away, and the door of the house slammed shut in front of Zhao.
She was alone and only had time to pack a few belongings. She had a burden following her, so she didn't know where to go. She had to find an inn nearby to stay.
The inn was grey and there wasn't a single comfortable place in sight.
"Mom, I'm hungry..."
The child behind her cried enough and asked her for food again, such as sugar cakes and bird's nest porridge. Zhao was fed up with listening to him and shouted at him to shut up.
Suddenly someone knocked on the door.
The visitors were a man and a woman. The girl was holding a wine pot and a wine cup, and the man was frail and handsome, walking in slowly with the help of a jade crutch.
Zhao knew the Prince of Jin; she had nearly been beaten by him at Yanxi Tower. The powerful and influential members of the royal family did not dare to offend him, so Zhao knelt down to pay her respects, still terrified.
The Prince of Jin found a round chair and sat down, looking at Zhao with a very gentle expression: "I heard that Madam Jiang was leaving Yunjing, so I prepared some wine and came to see her off. Perilla -"
Zi Su filled a wine cup and presented it to Zhao, saying expressionlessly, "Madam, please enjoy."
The wine was a strange dark red, emitting a fishy and bitter taste. Zhao looked at Zi Su warily, her pale lips trembling slightly: "This is poisonous wine..."
The King of Jin said, "This extremely pure Crane's Beak Red will not hurt for more than half an incense stick, and it will be able to resolve all the grudges and worries for my wife."
"No, no!" Zhao was terrified and knelt before the King of Jin. "I have already given up the house. I will do anything Your Highness asks me to do. Please spare my life, Your Highness! Please spare my life!"
Prince Jin stood up and personally helped her up. "You shouldn't kneel before me, madam. Given your current situation, what's the point of living? The people who truly support you are already dead. If you cling to life, you will only burden those who are weak-hearted. I don't want her to be burdened by you anymore, so I will take on the responsibility of being the bad guy."
Zhao was stunned and did not quite understand what the King of Jin meant.
The King of Jin took the wine cup from Zi Su and handed it to Zhao: "I respect your madam. I hope your madam will not suffer any more on this journey."
Zhao panicked and dodged, but was held back by Zisu. The King of Jin once again handed the wine cup to her and said, "I don't want to be disrespectful to you, Madam. But if you insist on being disrespectful, I can do it myself."
The door of the inn was suddenly kicked open from the outside. Xie Xuanlan stepped forward, grabbed the wine glass and threw it on the ground. The dark red wine spread along the cracks in the wooden boards on the ground.
"Are you crazy?" Xie Xuanlan stood between Zhao and Prince Jin. "What does the Jiang family's affairs have to do with you?"
Prince Jin glanced at Zisu, who, feeling guilty, quickly stepped aside. Even she felt that Prince Jin's actions today were truly insane. Whether it was killing people in the gambling house or trying to poison Zhao, it was not something a Prince without any connection to the family should do. So before arriving, Zisu quietly passed a message to Third Master Xie.
The King of Jin said to Xie Xuanlan, "It has nothing to do with me, but I still want to intervene."
Xie Xuanlan said, "I'm afraid you're being sentimental. Ah Ying asked me to tell you something. A mother is different from a father. The grace of giving birth can never be betrayed. No matter what her mother did, she can avoid her for self-protection, but she will never seek revenge or take her life. Ah Ying's point is that the Prince of Jin should not interfere in her family affairs."
Upon hearing this, the King of Jin sighed softly, "She's too soft-hearted. What about you? Do you think so too?"
Xie Xuanlan chuckled: "Of course I don't want Ah Ying to continue mourning and delay the wedding day for nothing."
The King of Jin said, "I think you are the one who has gone mad. It is precisely because Ah Ying is unable to do it that someone needs to be rid of this trouble for her. I did not push this important task onto you. You should be thankful."
"Oh, Your Highness Prince Jin is so kind."
Xie Xuanlan remained unmoved: "But rather than acting on my own, I would rather respect Ah Ying's opinion."
Upon hearing this, the King of Jin scoffed, "You ignorant child."
With Xie Xuanlan present, Prince Jin couldn't kill Zhao. Similarly, as long as Prince Jin didn't promise to let her go, Xie Xuanlan wouldn't let his guard down. The two of them were deadlocked for a while, and finally, Xie Xuanlan took a step back.
He said: "There is a Linquan Temple in the Xie family's hometown of Chen County, which houses nuns. The temple has strict rules and does not allow outsiders to see it."
The King of Jin lowered his eyes and thought for a while, then nodded and said, "That's fine. It can be considered as putting an end to worldly concerns. Where is Jiang Congqian?"
"The Buddhist temple and the eunuch hall are both self-reliant and strict places with strict rules. Let him choose for himself."
The King of Jin said, "He is not allowed to set foot in Yunjing again."
When Zhao heard that her destination was determined, and that although she had barely managed to keep her life, she would have to live a life of poverty and confinement, her face turned pale and she shed tears of reluctance.
She choked up and said, "Why doesn't Ying come to see me? I am her mother!"
"Mother-in-law, Ah Ying has something to tell you, too." Xie Xuanlan politely asked her to stand up. "She said she wishes to follow Duke Zhuang's example and respect Wu Jiang, but we will never meet again until we reach the afterlife."
Although the mother and daughter had seen each other less and less frequently in the past seventeen years, when they were about to sever their blood ties, Zhao suddenly felt a heart-wrenching pain and regret.
"Aying, ah Ying... I am your mother, don't you want me anymore?"
Tears dripped into the dark red wine stains, like crying blood under the eyes.
She choked up and said, "In the future, she will have no one to rely on in her family. After marrying into the Xie family, she will only have her husband and son to rely on. Is she willing to have a daughter? Why can't she understand me? I'm only trying to protect myself and establish myself! In the future... she will follow in my footsteps and understand my pain!"
This made everyone inside and outside the room stunned. Xie Xuanlan shouted at her: "Shut up!"
Prince Jin frowned, followed Xie Xuanlan's gaze and looked up, seeing a slender figure vaguely appearing outside the side window.
Aying...it turns out she has been outside the window all the time.
The King of Jin was afraid she would come in, yet he also longed for her to come in. For a moment, everyone in the room fixed their gazes on that beautiful figure. After a long moment, a very soft sigh came from outside the window. The figure slowly turned around, gradually faded beyond the window paper, and left.
Be it gratitude or resentment, the fate of mother and daughter in this life ends here. From now on, just as she said, they will never see each other again until they die.
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Author's Note: I deeply apologize for the lengthy section devoted to the mother-daughter relationship, but I chose not to edit it, as it crucially impacts Cong Ying's character and subsequent choices. Many of my friends have experienced a lack of care and affection due to parental favoritism. They often display a higher degree of tolerance and humility than children from well-off families. In other words, they harbor a subconscious sense of unworthiness. If left unaddressed, many of their actions may be motivated by something other than self-interest, causing significant distress (this is my personal experience, of course, and not representative of all). Cong Ying also possesses this aspect of her character; she's not flawless or perfectly balanced, and the causes of her past life's tragedy are multifaceted.
However, since some readers have expressed dissatisfaction with this content, I respect and understand that, emotionally, I haven't received any positive feedback from readers, which may be a mistake on my part as an author. If any readers regret subscribing to this content, please leave a message in the comments section of this chapter, and I will refund a portion of my subscription points as compensation. The time limit is 24 hours, as I won't be checking the chapter comments section regularly. I sincerely apologize for the inconvenience caused to everyone.
One more thing is that I have a business trip tomorrow and will be back after the Dragon Boat Festival. The update frequency will be reduced (not that I will not update anymore). I also apologize to those who follow me. [Good Luck Lian Lian][Good Luck Lian Lian][Good Luck Lian Lian]
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