Chapter Eighty-Eight: Drinking Blood in the Long Night, Questioning One's True Self
“You finally…” Yang Xiao burst into laughter through her tears, but her throat was still choked with emotion and she couldn’t speak. She leaned over Bai Ming with a sigh of relief and kept stroking his face.
"Do you know how terrifying you've been these past few days?" Yang Xiao sobbed, her body pressed against Bai Ming's chest. The worry and tension that had been building up for days burst forth in tears. "Seeing you wounded, coughing up blood, covered in scars, was more painful than killing me." She looked up through her teary eyes at Bai Ming's equally tearful gaze. "I almost thought I couldn't even keep you..."
"How could this be..." Bai Ming struggled to raise his hand and gently placed it on Yang Xiao's face, but the next second Yang Xiao grabbed it and tucked it back into the blanket.
"Don't move around," Yang Xiao sat up, sniffed, and moved forward a little. "You have a high fever that won't go down, and you've finally managed to sweat a little." She raised her hand to stroke Bai Ming's hair. "You absolutely mustn't catch a cold again."
Bai Ming nodded slightly, but tears still streamed down his face.
"Fortunately, the arrow wound wasn't serious," Yang Xiao said, clutching the corner of the blanket with relief. Then, as if she had found a treasure, she raised her hand to stroke Bai Ming's cheek and gently coaxed him, "Your pulse has stabilized now. As long as you take good care of your injury and take your medicine on time, you'll recover soon."
“But…that jade pendant…” Bai Ming frowned slightly, looking at Yang Xiao with tears in his eyes, “If it weren’t for it, I’m afraid I would have already…”
Before she could finish speaking, Yang Xiao's fingertips gently touched Bai Ming's lips. She nodded and shook her head, but didn't say a word.
"Ah Xiao." Bai Ming gazed longingly into Yang Xiao's eyes and called out softly.
Yang Xiao nodded, wiped away her tears, and leaned down to gaze at him. "I'm here."
“You won’t let me move,” Bai Ming’s weak voice held a hint of a smile, “Then please come closer to me… even closer.”
Yang Xiao immediately understood what he meant. She sniffed, then leaned over Bai Ming, propped herself up on her elbows, and kept stroking his cheeks.
Something seemed to have touched Bai Ming's wound, causing him to let out a muffled groan. Yang Xiao sat up abruptly like a startled bird, looking at him anxiously, "Did I hurt you? I'm sorry, I..."
“Ah Xiao,” Bai Ming interrupted Yang Xiao, tears welling in his eyes, “the wounds don’t matter at all, all I want right now is…” He choked back sobs, his voice trembling uncontrollably, “I want you to stay by my side forever, even if I get stabbed again, I’d be willing…”
Upon hearing this, Yang Xiao couldn't hold back her tears. She leaned down and kissed Bai Ming's lips forcefully, then buried her face in Bai Ming's pillow and sobbed, "Bai Ming," she cried, almost pleadingly, as she hugged Bai Ming's waist, "Yu De has already... I can't watch you leave me little by little too."
Bai Ming gently rubbed his chin against Yang Xiao's neck. "Thank you for... saving my life from the battlefield."
"I should thank you for holding on until I came to pick you up." Yang Xiao leaned on his shoulder, then sat up and wiped the tears from her face.
Bai Ming also closed his eyes and let out a long breath, then looked up to meet Yang Xiao's already red eyes, "Have you not slept these past few days...?"
Yang Xiao clenched her fist, gave a wry smile, and shook her head. "When I close my eyes, all I can think about are Yu De and Mu Fei."
Upon hearing this, Bai Ming seemed to suddenly realize something and almost sat up, but Yang Xiao pressed him back down.
"That bracelet..."
“The jade bracelet, the Vermilion Bird Token…” Yang Xiao tucked him in, her voice trembling slightly, “and that jade pendant, they’re all under your pillow.” She patted Bai Ming gently as if coaxing a child, “The night is still long, you, an injured man, need to rest well. Don’t think too much, go to sleep early.”
With tears in his eyes, Bai Ming gently shook his head. "How can I sleep..." He closed his eyes, letting the tears slide down his cheeks. "At least, we did manage to conquer Lujiang County..."
Yang Xiao looked up and let out a long breath, then changed to a new towel and gently wiped away Bai Ming's tears and sweat.
"You said..." Yang Xiao paused, then looked at Bai Ming with a wry smile, "Am I worthy to be a general?"
Bai Ming was stunned for a moment upon hearing this. He pulled his hand out from under the covers and gently took Yang Xiao's hand in his. The icy touch immediately traveled up his arm and into his heart.
He pulled Yang Xiao's hand under his blanket, looking at her with concern, "Why do you say that?"
Yang Xiao looked down at their tightly clasped hands, a pang of sadness rising in her heart. "I just feel..." She closed her eyes and sighed softly, "As a leader of troops, I couldn't save my comrades, I couldn't even protect my newly taken-in apprentice. If it weren't for that jade pendant, I wouldn't even be able to..." Yang Xiao's voice grew more and more agitated, her hand trembling as she gripped Bai Ming's.
She took a deep breath and laughed self-deprecatingly, "I used to think that as long as I kept working hard, kept practicing martial arts, and kept studying military strategy, I could become a true general, punish evil and promote good, and save the people from suffering."
“But now it seems…” she looked at the moonlight outside the window with tears in her eyes, “the general doesn’t seem to be omnipotent after all.”
Yang Xiao sighed and gently stroked Bai Ming's hand. "We practice martial arts day and night just to defeat the enemy and protect ourselves." She turned to meet Bai Ming's eyes and couldn't help but chuckle with relief. "But now, I think I understand."
She squeezed Bai Ming's hand, then looked out the window. "The skills we've practiced have never been for self-preservation. If we hesitate and falter on the front lines, how can we talk about defeating the enemy? We are powerless to save our fallen comrades, but we can follow their path, our shared path, and walk on step by step."
Her fingers tightened unconsciously. "Even if it costs us our lives, even if it means sacrificing them, as long as we take one step forward, it will all be worth it." She puffed out her cheeks and let out a long sigh. "Yude has never been greedy for credit or reckless, and this battle of Lujiang was never a moth drawn to a flame." She looked at Bai Ming with tears in her eyes. "Everything you have done is of great significance. Only in this way can you be worthy of being called 'General' by your soldiers and 'General' by the people."
"You already had the answer." Bai Ming chuckled softly, looking at Yang Xiao with a sentimental expression.
Yang Xiao nodded and shook her head, gently stroking Bai Ming's knuckles. "The dream of pacifying the world is unattainable, but with walls built of blood and tears, what obstacle can't we overcome?" She sighed with a smile and took Bai Ming's hand in hers. "A few days ago, I was wondering if it was worth it for us to abandon our families, happiness, and even our lives, and embark on this path of no return without hesitation."
She looked up at the sky and sighed, "But now I understand," her eyes sparkling as she smiled at Bai Ming, "The comrades we've met along the way are no different from family; every step we've taken on this path has been an unparalleled blessing. As for life..." Her eyes reddened slightly again, but no tears fell, "As long as we still have something to hold onto in this world, we will continue to live on."
The full moon gradually peeked out from the treetops, gently bathing the two people nestled together in its light.
The night was silent, with only the gentle moonlight reflecting two burning, sincere, and unwavering hearts, creating silent ripples in the world.
The answer to "what defines a general" is firmly etched in their hearts and will never fade.
The word "general" seems to have a clear definition in their minds, and the answer to "what makes a general" is already obvious, yet it is not quite clear.
Everything will be decided when the sun rises.
-
Yang Xiao had been stationed in Lujiang for five days, but Jiangnan showed no intention of sending troops to retake it. Meanwhile, Xiao Yan in the north took advantage of the chaos to persuade Zhao Yue of Yingchuan to surrender.
Yang Xiao gazed at Bai Ming's sleeping face and gently smoothed the furrowed brow. She tucked Bai Ming in, then lifted the curtain and stood outside the tent, letting the cold, damp air seep into her lungs.
Bai Ming didn't know how long he had been sleeping in a daze, but he felt a wisp of medicinal fragrance waft into his nostrils, which made him frown slightly.
"General, the medicine for this morning has been prepared," came the sound of a vessel clinking lightly from beside the pillow. "Perhaps we should wake General Bai up so that he doesn't miss the time to take his medicine at noon."
Yang Xiao nodded, then sighed softly, "Let him sleep a little longer. He finally managed to wake up last night, but he still has a fever." As she spoke, she gently walked to Bai Ming's bedside and leaned down to feel his head.
The moment her fingertips touched Bai Ming's forehead, she heard him let out a soft hum and then slowly open his eyes.
Perhaps the morning sunlight was too dazzling, he squinted slightly, but involuntarily called out Yang Xiao's name.
"Why did you wake up so suddenly?" Yang Xiao sat by his bedside, pressing her arm against his burning forehead, and laughed. "Perfect timing, the medicine is just brewed. Wake up first, then drink it while it's hot."
Seeing Bai Ming so energetic, the physician beside him breathed a sigh of relief. "It seems General Bai is in good spirits," he chuckled, wiping the sweat from his brow. "General Lingyu has been staying by your bedside for three whole days without sleep..."
“Hey, he just woke up, why are you saying all this?” Yang Xiaoyi raised her hand to interrupt the doctor, and then helped Bai Ming sit up against the pillows. “As long as he can wake up properly, that’s better than anything else.”
As Yang Xiao stood up, Bai Ming took the opportunity to grab her hand and pull her back down, looking at her sincerely, "Xiao, thank you."
Yang Xiao paused for a moment, then shook her head with a light laugh, raised her hand and touched his face, "If you want to thank me, you'd better get better soon."
The physician standing nearby sighed with relief, "By the way, General, if you feel well today, you can have some porridge to ease up. You can't go without eating anything."
Yang Xiao looked up at Bai Ming, nodded in relief, "Alright, then you can have Mu Fei..."
Her words abruptly stopped, and a long silence fell over the air. Yang Xiao's eyes reddened again, and her hand on Bai Ming clenched into a fist.
Upon seeing this, Bai Ming frowned slightly, "Could it be Mu Fei...?"
Yang Xiao closed her eyes, shook her head, sighed, and waved her hand at the physician, "Let anyone go and cook some porridge."
The doctor also realized that the atmosphere was not right, nodded slightly in response, and then withdrew.
“It seems,” Yang Xiao looked up at Bai Ming and gave a bitter smile, “we won’t have that privilege anymore.” She sighed and stood up to pour hot water. “We must, we absolutely must, avenge them, and all the fallen soldiers.”
“Once I’m healed,” Bai Ming turned to look at Yang Xiao’s retreating figure, “we’ll go together to avenge them. We have to win back the battles we lost.”
Yang Xiao carried a bowl of hot water back to Bai Ming's bedside, chuckled, and shook her head. "Actually, we won the battle of Lujiang. After all, we're in Lujiang City now, aren't we?"
“Let me put it another way,” Bai Ming chuckled, then looked at Yang Xiao seriously, “I want He Yuan to pay for his crimes in blood.”
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