Chapter 404 Li Rong's Confession Before the Stele
Fifteen minutes later, at the cemetery on the back hill.
Jiang Nuanzhi arranged the five offering bowls, held a jar of wine, and uncorked it.
Li Rong stood alone in the north wind, remaining silent for a long time.
Jiang Nuanzhi glanced at him, took a sip of wine, and only after feeling the warmth rising did she say, "Arong, would you like to come and pay your respects?"
Li Rong turned slightly to the side, never once glancing in their direction. Only his fist, hidden in his sleeve, clenched tighter and tighter, his knuckles turning white from the force. "It's cold. Let's hurry back after you finish your prayers," he said, his voice low and hoarse, trembling slightly in the north wind.
Jiang Nuanzhi glanced at him, then poured herself a large bowl of wine and raised it.
"Although you are bandits, I have recently learned some things from the past, and I would like to have a few drinks with you all."
"This first bowl of wine is my way of admitting my mistake. I thought you were all bandits, unaware that you were once great generals who brought peace and stability to the country." With that, he drank it all in one gulp.
"This second bowl is to honor courage."
After saying that, she sighed and drank it all in one gulp.
"This third bowl of wine"
Before she could finish speaking, Jiang Nuanzhi's pale fingers were suddenly gripped tightly by Li Rong.
“Anuan…” Li Rong’s face was pale as he grasped her hand: “You’ve drunk too much.”
Jiang Nuanzhi blushed, smiled, patted Li Rong's hand, and picked up the third bowl: "This third bowl of wine is just a small token of my apology to A Rong." Jiang Nuanzhi said unhurriedly: "I am his wife in name only, but I do not know his whereabouts or what he is thinking. But he has his considerations. I am just a woman, and I don't need to consider too much. I will simply join him in the worship, all to fulfill the feelings of everyone and my husband A Rong."
"Ah Nuan!"
The large wine bowl in Jiang Nuanzhi's hand was suddenly snatched away.
Li Rong tilted his head back and downed the remaining wine in one gulp, his jawline disappearing into his clothes. His fingertips, gripping the bowl, turned white. After a long while, he put the bowl down and sighed to himself, "You know why they died, so what right do I have to offer sacrifices? He has several lives on his hands; how can I offer sacrifices to him?"
“I know better why they were born.” Jiang Nuanzhi interrupted him, and in a daze, her fingertips covered his tightly clenched fist.
"Recently, news came from the three neighboring villages that they had been massacred one after another. The village officials reported that half of the villagers had perished." In a daze, she sighed and said, "Do you know why these tombstones have no names?"
Jiang Nuanzhi's gaze fell on the nameless tombstone, her expression gradually becoming solemn: "Because the villagers in the surrounding area knew that this bandit died and was buried here, they dug up his grave twice with pickaxes. It wasn't until today, when Brother Chi and a few others erected this tombstone, that they stopped. The villagers have their own way of taking revenge, and Changshan has its own way of apologizing. Arong, you should also have your own way. Whether it's dealing with your old friends or the bandits, whether you beat or scold them, or reminisce about the past, it's all within reason."
Li Rong's face grew increasingly pale, and after a long while, he said in a hoarse voice, "Anuan, what do you think their purpose was?"
"Looking back on Changshan's life, I think the happiest days must have been when he was defending his country. When Brother Chi buried him, he found this on his body."
As she spoke, Jiang Nuanzhi took out a token from her sleeve. The character "Li" on it had been worn faded from being rubbed.
Li Rong's pupils suddenly contracted, and his whole body stiffened.
"He must have kept this thing with him day and night, even on the day he left, it never left his side." Jiang Nuanzhi said, then suddenly sighed, "Chang Shan's death wasn't just an apology to you. He was also giving himself an explanation. And another thing, he was also absolving himself of his own sins, as if only in this way could he be worthy of this token, worthy of those years he fought alongside you, for your family and your country."
Li Rong, who was squatting in front of the tomb, suddenly stood up upon hearing this.
The porcelain bowl was rolled up by the robe and shattered with a crack.
Jiang Nuan instinctively bent down to pick up the porcelain shards, but suddenly the bowl tightened, and she was pulled into an embrace that smelled of pine. She was stunned for a moment.
Li Rong rested his chin on her hair, as if trying to draw a sliver of warmth from her, his voice trembling: "That day, I could have stopped him."
Jiang Nuanzhi sighed, her thoughts drifting away. She recalled the image of Changshan kneeling outside the high wall, carrying a severed head.
She closed her eyes tightly in a daze; as a doctor, she was used to seeing life and death.
But such a scene is one she never wants to recall for the rest of her life.
Even though Jiang Nuanzhi knew that this was a fictional world, everyone here seemed to be telling her that they were flesh and blood, with life and thoughts.
They will not follow what seems to be common sense or live a life arranged by others.
Jiang Nuanzhi even considered that since they were Li Rong's former subordinates, they might become their allies. Was her family a villainous family? They would likely become targets for Xie Liangchen's humiliation. But the reality was quite different.
They had their own beliefs and chose a near-tragic way to end their lives.
"Arong, Changshan, that madman, never gave you a choice." Jiang Nuanzhi's voice was soft, as if it could be blown away by the wind. Both of them knew that Changshan had brought the head of his former brother to plead guilty, and had never left himself a way out.
A biting north wind swirled up snowflakes, stinging one's cheeks. Li Rong felt as if he too had fallen into that blood-red evening.
After a long while, Li Rong's gaze fell on the cold stone tablet. In the end, he sighed, turned into white mist, and vanished without a trace.
"It's my fault. I'm sorry to them."
Zhao Xiuyuan was right; Changshan, by nature, likely trusted him. He only defected because he hated others taking over the Li family army.
Li Rong pursed his lips, his hoarse voice trembling slightly, and slowly said, "Back then, Changshan was the most elite force of my Li family army. They were all brave and fearless, and there was no mission they couldn't complete. Under the iron cavalry, they protected every inch of our land."
Sometimes I think, even a mighty cavalry like Changshan's met such a fate, surviving only by deceiving the people. Where are my two hundred thousand-strong Li family army now? What are they doing? Are they... suffering the same fate as him?"
Li Rong's voice trembled violently, and his whole body shook. As he spoke, he tried to tie Jiang Nuanzhi's cloak back on, but he failed several times.
Jiang Nuanzhi neatly tied it herself, handed him the wine jar, and continued to listen quietly with her head tilted back.
Li Rong took the wine from her, took a sip, and felt a bitter taste in his mouth that made his throat tight. Yet, in a hoarse voice, he continued, "I have always believed that what I guard is the Great Jing Kingdom, and what I protect are the people of the world. Even if my iron cavalry tramples mountains and rivers, and there is bloodshed, it is also a great achievement for all time."
But I never imagined that one upheaval would lead to total defeat. The karma of hundreds of thousands of people rests on my shoulders alone.
Ah Nuan, my mother died when I was born.
My father died in battle, my sister died with resentment, Awang died, Changshan died. Thousands of soldiers died too. Those who believed in me and those who did not, those who hated me and those who resented me, those who respected me and those who pitied me, those who remembered me and those who missed me—they were all dead.
Looking back on those three glorious years, when I recaptured three cities and returned to the capital with foreign captives, I entered the city clad in armor and wearing a phoenix-feathered purple-gold crown. The entire city's populace surrounded the streets and pavilions of Shengjing, making it impossible to pass. Fruit was thrown into the carts, and the soldiers alone filled more than a dozen baskets with sachets and handkerchiefs.
I was smug and complacent, feeling that the world was generally just like that.
(End of this chapter)
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