"Have you told Master?" Lin Zhaoxi asked Pei Zhi.
"no."
"Then why did Master say 'I'm back'? He would only say I'm back if he knew I was out, right?"
“You should see it yourself.”
Lin Chaoxi took a deep breath and turned around to glance at Lao Lin secretly.
They were on their way to a picnic. Lao Lin held a cigarette in his mouth and asked them to walk faster, while he smoked slowly behind them for fear of smoking them.
——
The picnic campsite chosen by Lao Lin is Camp No. 3 at the Oasis Base.
Compared with the beautiful restaurants, this place is basically in a semi-primitive state, with a large lawn surrounded by small trees and facing the lake.
Mainly to give parents and children a sense of the wild, there are no barbecues or anything like that on the lawn except a small stove built with bricks.
Lao Lin paid the usage fee, received a bundle of firewood and an iron pot, and then took them to find a small stove.
"Which number do you want to choose?" asked Lao Lin.
Lin Chaoxi put the rice and vegetables randomly and said, "Do I still need to choose?"
"Please always be sensitive to numbers." Lao Lin was disgusted.
Lin Zhaoxi: "What about 88?"
Lao Lin immediately turned around and said, "Boy, you should do it."
"Why not 88!" Lin Chaoxi protested.
"At least you were able to be friendly last time." Lao Lin muttered softly, patted Pei Zhi on the shoulder, and entrusted him with an important task.
Pei Zhi then walked forward, found a small stove, and then sat down with his legs crossed.
Lao Lin walked over, looked at the number on the stove, and was very satisfied.
"17, this is indeed an interesting number. Can you tell me why you chose this number?"
"Because this stove is closest to us." Pei Zhi replied.
Lao Lin was choked for the first time. He looked at Pei Zhi with his hands on his hips, unable to speak.
Lin Chaoxi laughed so hard that he fell down.
——
Lao Lin sat in front of stove No. 17 and made a fire.
She and Pei Zhi were sent to wash rice and vegetables at a distant sink. Lao Lin himself would never admit that this was revenge.
The sky is high and the clouds are light in summer, but not too sunny. There are many families nearby taking their children out to play. Some are playing football, some are playing badminton, and some parents are taking their children to play some small games.
Lin Chaoxi started washing the vegetables, but after just a few washes, Pei Zhi silently took the vegetables and pushed the rice to her to wash.
Washing rice is very quick and Lin Chaoxi finished it in no time.
She wiped her hands and watched Pei Zhi wash things carefully.
First break up the greens, then clean the bottom where the sand and mud have accumulated, and finally wash the leaves gently.
Lin Chaoxi looked at Pei Zhi's serious and skillful movements and subconsciously wanted to help.
"No, don't get your hands wet again."
Pei Zhi spoke naturally, but with a very adult tone, probably because his mother often said that to him.
Lin Chaoxi was stunned, and only heard the sound of running water hitting the tiles of the pool.
Classmate Pei Zhi glanced over calmly, and probably noticed the problem with the tone, so he turned his head away silently.
Lin Chaoxi remembered what Hua Juan had said before. After thinking for a while, he smiled and said, "Brother Pei, do you often do housework at home? You wash well."
"No work."
"oh."
“When my dad was still alive, he loved cooking.”
"Um."
Lin Chaoxi drew out the tone, but suddenly felt something was wrong. Why did he say, before... before?
She looked at Pei Zhi in confusion. Pei Zhi was draining the vegetables and said, "He passed away."
"I'm... I'm sorry..." Lin Chaoxi was a little at a loss. She subconsciously looked at Comrade Lao Lin in the distance for help.
But Lao Lin was busy lighting a fire and didn't even look at them.
"Why should I feel sorry?" Pei Zhi was very calm.
This question was too difficult to answer. Lin Chaoxi lowered his head and thought for a long time, but could not answer it. So when they finished washing the vegetables and went back to find Lao Lin, they remained silent.
At Lao Lin's side, the fire in the stove had not been lit yet.
He was holding a magnifying glass and when he saw them coming, he asked them to put down their things quickly and observe the green smoke that was about to rise.
"What you are about to witness is a miracle of nature."
Lao Lin said excitedly. However, neither she nor Pei Zhi said anything.
Lao Lin quickly noticed something was wrong: "I'm just washing vegetables, why are you arguing?"
"What natural miracle?" Lin Chaoxi quickly changed the subject.
"What's wrong?" Lao Lin asked, "You are so embarrassed because your confession failed?"
Lin Chaoxi shook his head desperately, signaling Lao Lin to stop asking.
"No, I just happened to talk about my family." Pei Zhi said.
Lao Lin casually asked, "Yeah, what's wrong with your family? Even she has people visiting her on weekends, why don't you have people visiting her?"
"Because my mother was against me coming to summer camp, I came alone."
"Oh, what about your dad?" Lao Lin asked casually.
"Dead." Pei Zhi repeated again.
The hand holding the magnifying glass did not tremble at all, and his tone was normal: "Girl, you just asked this, so you are particularly embarrassed?"
"I think so?" Pei Zhi was very calm and answered truthfully, "She said she was sorry, and I asked her why she was sorry?"
"Yes, why do you say sorry?" Lao Lin also raised his head and asked.
Lin Chaoxi stood in the wind, speechless.
"It's neither your fault nor his, so don't feel sorry," said Lao Lin. "Death has many meanings, sometimes regret and sometimes relief."
Hearing this, Pei Zhi nodded seriously, as if he agreed very much with Lao Lin's point of view.
Lin Chaoxi pursed his lips. He looked at Lao Lin and Pei Zhi, and always felt that Lao Lin's words had a hidden meaning.
Of course Pei Zhi reacted quickly.
Pei Zhi: "Master, why did you call me in the park that day?"
He was referring to the day when Lao Lin finally stopped him and crushed him during the Eagle Team activity with Zhang Liang.
"You look handsome, but I don't like you."
“I don’t think so.”
His eyes were clear as he just stared at Lao Lin, as if he would not stop until he got the correct answer.
When Pei Zhi gets serious, Lao Lin is no match for him.
The sunlight continued to gather, piercing through the dead leaves, and flames finally rose.
Lao Lin put down the magnifying glass and finally looked at Pei Zhi: "I have seen you. Your father took you to the park, played chess with you, and took you on a train..."
Lao Lin answered this way, but Pei Zhi asked a completely different question.
Pei Zhi: "He had a seizure in the park once, were you there too?"
"yes."
"I heard that it was a park manager who rescued him from the river. Was it you?"
Lao Lin had a tangled expression: "It seems to be me, but I never knew if I did the right thing."
"I don't know what he thinks." Pei Zhi said, "But for me, thank you for saving him that time, so that he can stay with me for another year."
They sat beside the earthen stove and chatted while a fire was lit, emitting a very light smell of smoke.
The story is very simple, and you can even get the whole picture from the dialogue.
Pei Zhi's father also liked to take him to the park. Old Lin had a very good memory and remembered the father and son very early.
The son is very smart, and the father is obviously also a smart man.
But what really made Lao Lin remember Pei's father was that he rescued someone from the river in the park one morning.
Unlike those who commit suicide due to despair in life, Pei's father always maintained a detached and excited state, and even wanted to go on. Lao Lin spent a lot of effort to subdue him.
At that time, Lao Lin knew that Pei Zhi's father was a schizophrenic patient.
Pei Zhi said that until he finally succeeded in committing suicide, his father had never been sober.
He also said that his father actually lived very clearly every day, just in his own world, which was also good because he was always with him no matter what.
He knew he was being selfish, but he couldn't help it...
At the end of the story, the soft aroma of rice and vegetables wafted from the iron pot, with a slightly burnt smell.
Pei Zhi's eyes never turned red from beginning to end, as if he was talking about someone else's business, or as if he had thought about this matter many times and had completely figured it out, so there was nothing to be sad about anymore.
"Oh, that's a pity." said Lao Lin.
"What do you regret?" Pei Zhi asked Lao Lin the same question he had asked her just now.
"You are too young to understand so many things."
Lao Lin said calmly that he sat forward a little and pressed the child's face against his shoulder, just like a man would do to another man.
There were tiny pieces of grass in the wind, like foam on the waves. Lin Zhaoxi looked at them and rubbed his eyes.
——
Later, Lao Lin took them to lie on the lawn by the lake, she was on Lao Lin's left and Pei Zhi was on Lao Lin's right.
As the sky gradually darkened, there were fewer and fewer people around, and in the end, only they were left. There was no light pollution in the suburbs, and the night sky was the purest color, with bright white sand scattered on the black velvet background.
At first, Lao Lin wanted to teach them to recognize the stars. His own knowledge of astronomy was not that rich, and he could not say much except the Seven Stars of the North. After being corrected by Pei Zhi several times, Lao Lin started to talk about the history of mathematics.
He said that the development of mathematics is closely related to mankind's earliest attention to the starry sky, astrology, sacrifices, astronomy and calendars, and the best mathematicians were sent to do these things.
Needless to say, in ancient Greece, Plato's student Eudoxus used 27 balls to try to describe the motion of the planets. The problem of heliocentrism and geocentrism lasted for a thousand or two thousand years, and it was not until the Renaissance that Copernicus opened up a corner...
Lin Chaoxi listened to his father's slow narration and Pei Zhi's occasional questions. In the end, the two of them began to talk about relativity.
When she heard her father talking about the formula that brought her into this world, Pei Zhi's words echoed in her mind - thank you for saving him that time, allowing him to stay with me for another year.
For children, the existence of their parents is indispensable. Even though Pei Zhi deeply understands that death is a relief for his father, he still holds such an idea.
It's good to have dad by my side for one more year.
But just like she always wondered before, whether Lao Lin would be happier without her, Pei Zhi must also wonder, if she was not there, whether her father would choose to use death to relieve his pain earlier.
But neither she nor Pei Zhi got the answer.
The night sky has a hazy color at the edge of strong light, which will make people feel dizzy if they look at it for a long time.
"Master, do you think it is better to be alone or to have a child?"
Lin Chaoxi turned around and finally asked the question that Old Lin had never answered directly in that world.
Surrounded by her father as a young man, she also became very small.
They were now keeping a perfect distance, neither too far nor too close, neither too salty nor too bland. Now was probably her best chance to get an answer.
——Comrade Lao Lin, is my existence ultimately a burden to you?
"Of course it's better when I'm alone." Lao Lin looked as if he was wondering where this illusion came from.
"Is that so?" Lin Chaoxi actually felt a sense of relief.
"But having children probably makes me feel more alive."
“What does it feel like to be alive?”
"It's something that you're concerned about."
"You didn't have that before?"
“It didn’t happen before, but it’s gradually happening now.”
Lin Chaoxi turned his head again and looked into his father's smiling eyes.
The night was dim, and the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes were clear, overlapping with his face many years later.
She felt a little sad, but also very happy.
It’s hard to describe the feeling, but at that moment I knew that this was also the true thought of Lao Lin in that world.
The star sand above my head is shining, and dew is condensing on the leaves.
Her father's big hand was on her head, just like it had been many years ago, never changing.
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