A heavy snow fell overnight, and it stopped in the morning. The sky was like porcelain that had been wiped clean, the purest blue.
When Lin Chaoxi came out of the hospital, she felt that her fever had subsided. Although she was exhausted and had stars in her eyes, she was in better spirits than ever before. So while Lin was out buying breakfast, she left a note, took a taxi, and stood in front of Ci'en Hospital by Dongming Lake.
The conversation last night made her understand the gap between a mortal like her and a genius like Lao Lin.
Before she left the real world, she asked Lao Lin, who had already suffered from Alzheimer's disease, whether he had never regretted the choices he had made in life. Lao Lin replied, "Of course."
Only now did she realize how proud Lao Lin was when he said "of course".
In the world that truly belonged to her, Lao Lin walked through that door without hesitation. He had never received his acceptance letter, but he had not experienced 12 years of waiting. He knew what he wanted. He wanted to be a good father, which was more important than his mathematics.
So she began to ask herself, what do you really want?
In fact, this answer is not completely impossible.
She tried so hard for so long just to save Lao Lin from the car accident, even though this was meaningless from a certain perspective; she also wanted to help Pei Zhi get through this pain, because she knew very well what Pei Zhi was going through now, and this was also meaningless from a certain perspective.
But when people start to think about the meaning of thinking, they will think about the pros and cons again and again, see insurmountable difficulties, and then cry.
Being a genius is not a magic weapon to solve all difficulties, but true geniuses are always calm and fearless. They know their true selves, are loyal to their ideals, and pursue what they love without wavering.
It seems that one's inner heart always has to go through thousands of ups and downs before the truth can be revealed. Lin Chaoxi is not sure whether she will still be confused in the future, but now, at least at this moment, she is very clear that she should go in and accompany Pei Zhi.
Ten minutes passed, fifteen minutes passed...
But she couldn't get in.
The guard put down the phone, opened the small window, and let her leave.
The lake breeze was so strong that Lin Chaoxi could no longer hear the specific reason. He only felt that the world was plunged into endless pure white, with only the sliding door being a deep iron gray.
She thought of the wound on Pei Zhi's hand, the look in his eyes when he left, the words he had said, the nearby lake and the towering mountains in the distance.
She saw Nanshan.
She thought, for such a long time, Pei Zhi could see this mountain every time he looked up in the hospital. That's why he was so familiar with it. He had been there and knew that there was a place on the top of the mountain where you could light a long-burning lamp, make a wish and get a discount, and there would be a folded note under the lamp.
Lin Chaoxi took a deep breath and stared at the mountains in the distance.
——
Nanshan is neither high nor low.
The mountaintops are covered with white snow, and when the morning breeze blows, ripples appear on the snowy sea. The pines and cypresses shed their cotton-like outer shells, revealing their lush green crowns.
Lin Chaoxi stood at the foot of the mountain and stepped onto the snow-covered stone steps.
The air was crisp and refreshing, but the mountain road was difficult to walk on. On the way, she met several college students who were carrying photography equipment and were fully equipped to take pictures of the snow.
Seeing that she was alone, a girl kindly picked up a dead branch and gave it to her: "Little sister, why are you here alone?"
“Someone told me the top of the mountain is beautiful and I should come and see it,” she answered truthfully.
The male students who were traveling with us were laughing, but the female students were very sensitive and asked with a cautious look in their eyes: "Is it a family member? The prayers at the Nanshan Temple on the top of the mountain are very effective."
In reality, Pei Zhi is certainly not a family member. Lin Chaoxi thought for a long time and finally said, "He is a friend I respect very much. He is quite healthy."
"Why are you so cute?"
"ah?"
"Don't answer so seriously."
Lin Zhaoxi smiled helplessly.
The higher you go, the harder it is to walk on Nanshan Mountain. The college students stopped at a village halfway up the mountain to take some photos of the ancient village's snowy scenery, while Lin Chaoxi continued to climb alone.
The mountain was so quiet that she could clearly hear the slight crackling sound of pine branches being crushed by the snow.
With every breath, the mountain wind scraped across his trachea like a knife. Lin Zhaoxi covered his mouth and nose and coughed a few times. He felt his legs go weak, but he didn't stop.
When she was on the mountain, the morning bell rang in the empty mountain. When she actually stepped into the mountain gate, the monks had already started beating the board in the Zen Hall. The sound of the gong echoed around the temple, and lunch was about to begin.
Nanshan Temple was the same as she had seen in the photos.
After passing the Heavenly King Hall, there is a pond for releasing animals. Red koi are swimming under the thin layer of ice. The stone railings are covered with white snow, and the monks have swept out a green brick path on the ground.
Green smoke rises from the incense burner, long and distant.
Lin Chaoxi kept walking. In her memory, Pei Zhi and she started the phone call at the release pond. After that, he kept walking. They talked for eight or nine minutes, and then the wooden door opened with a creaking sound.
She also pondered the time, walked along the corridor, and finally stopped and stretched out her hand.
With the same "creaking" sound, the cold wind rushed in, and the lights in the room were as small as beans, falling down in the wind.
An elderly monk who was picking up a lamp wick had his back to her. He slowly put down the bamboo stick in his hand, turned around and saluted.
Lin Chaoxi first looked at the monk's face carefully, then heaved a sigh of relief, put his hands together, and bowed.
There was silence for a while.
Finally, the old monk spoke: "What is the purpose of this donation?"
"I want to ... offer a perpetual lamp."
The old monk nodded and started walking to a corner of the side hall, where there was a desk. He sat down and opened the book on the table. "Oil lamps are 500 yuan a year, and electric lamps are 100 yuan a year. Which one do you want?"
“And there are electric lights.”
"environmental protection."
Lin Zhaoxi smiled and lowered his head. The old monk opened the book and dipped the brush into the frozen ink. On the yellow rice paper, the name of each donor and the amount of money donated were written in small regular script: so-and-so, so-and-so, donor lamp number xx.
Lin Chaoxi's heart skipped a beat as she scanned the directory. "Where is this lamp?" She pointed at the number on the directory and asked in a low voice.
She had no answer before actually walking into this side hall.
Just like what Lao Lin said, when people make countless important decisions in life, you only have a vague hunch, and no one can know the outcome in advance.
But she knew that outside her right window was a towering cliff and the wind was howling in the valley, because she had heard Pei Zhi come here before. Walking along the path between the ever-burning lamps, Lin Zhaoxi squatted down among the countless flickering lights.
The number of the eternal lamp is 142857, and the worshipper is Pei Zhi.
She looked up and found the lamp among the yellowish bean lamps. She lifted it up gently and found a folded note lying quietly inside.
Put down the lamp and unfold the note.
Lin Zhaoxi heard the wick of the lamp crackle slightly. Pei Zhi's rejection, leaving, the injury on her wrist, the sound of Wenrou making her remember taking medicine, and the inner torment day and night, all had answers.
In the distance, the sunlight shone through the clouds on the mountain range, giving the snowy mountain a golden edge. She thought she had seen towering mountains crossing the sea of snow when she came here, but the only thing that was more unshakable than the mountains and the sea was the heart of a genius.
"Can I take it away?" Lin Chaoxi asked in a low voice.
"Why?"
"Because someone made a wish here, and I hope it comes true."
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