Seeing his firm attitude, Meng Zhao abandoned her attempt to coax him and her tone turned cold: "If that's the case, I think I need to reconsider our relationship."
These words struck Shen Qing like a bolt from the blue. He staggered back a few steps and fell heavily onto the bed.
Seeing his pale face, Meng Zhao instinctively reached out to help him, but before she could touch the hem of his clothes, she pulled back. She knew in her heart that she was never one to be afraid of gossip. If she truly fell deeply in love with Shen Qing, she would be willing to face worldly attacks alongside him.
Behind the concealment of their relationship, however, lay a deeper concern. Meng Zhao was unwilling to get married or have children. It took her several years to get her parents to accept the situation, but she still couldn't avoid their constant attempts to set her up with someone else.
If you were to tell them now that you and Shen Qinghe have a secret affair, given their personalities, while they wouldn't obstruct your relationship, they would definitely nag you every day: "Zhaozhao, you and Qinghe are not young anymore. Since you both love each other, you should settle down and start a relationship."
She could ignore the gossip of outsiders, but she couldn't ignore her parents' earnest expectations. Over time, she would inevitably think, for the sake of peace and quiet: "Let's get married then, since I genuinely love Shen Qinghe anyway."
But once they're actually married, the inevitable next thing they'll say is: "Now that you're married, you should consider having a child so the house will be more lively."
Therefore, once the relationship is exposed, it's like toppling the first domino, and the trajectory of her life will be completely out of her control, pushing her step by step towards a future she doesn't want to face. So hiding the relationship is necessary. If Shen Qinghe can't even accept this, how can he accept her even more unconventional choices?
Seeing the broken light in Shen Qing's eyes, Meng Zhao turned her face away cruelly: "You rest for a while, I'll go check if the crutches are ready."
She had barely taken a step when her wrist was grabbed. Before she could react, the world spun around her, and then her back sank into the soft bed. Shen Qing and his heavy body pressed down on her, his burning heat seeping through her thin clothes.
"What are you doing?" Meng Zhao instinctively tried to push him away, but considering his injuries, she could only frown and ask.
Shen Qinghe remained motionless, staring intently at her. His deep eyes were even more unfathomable, churning with emotions Meng Zhao couldn't decipher. After a long while, a warm drop of liquid suddenly landed on her cheek.
Meng Zhao froze, and when she realized it was tears, she panicked and asked, "Why are you crying? I didn't say anything!"
Shen Qinghe didn't want her to see him in such a disheveled state, yet he didn't want to let her leave. He could only lean down and bury his face deep in her neck, his voice muffled and choked with sobs: "You don't like me at all." Every word seemed to be squeezed out of his chest, filled with unspeakable grievances and pain.
Meng Zhao immediately became anxious, "How could that be! If I didn't like you, would I kiss you? If I didn't like you, would I let you lie on top of me? With your current body, I could easily lift you off with a little force. It's only because I like you that I indulge you in such reckless behavior."
But Shen Qinghe seemed to be stuck in a rut, refusing to listen to anything. "You won't marry me, you won't let anyone know about our relationship, you're not only unwilling to comfort me, you don't even want me anymore..."
Meng Zhao was amused by his unreasonable behavior. She suddenly exerted force and flipped him over, pinning him beneath her. Now she could finally see his tearful face, red eyes, wet eyelashes, and tightly pursed thin lips. The words that were about to come out softened a bit: "What nonsense are you talking about? When did I say I didn't want you?"
"You just said you wanted to reconsider our relationship, doesn't that mean you don't want me anymore?" Shen Qinghe's voice choked with emotion, her eyes still red-rimmed.
Meng Zhao sighed softly and gently wiped away the tears from the corners of his eyes with her fingertips: "I only said I would think about it, I didn't say I really didn't want you, do you have to be like this?"
These words not only failed to comfort Shen Qinghe, but also made him even more upset. "If we don't get married, you can just abandon me if you want. I have absolutely no control over you."
Meng Zhao was taken aback upon hearing this, and a bitter smile appeared on her lips: "This is why I don't want to get married. I don't want to be bound by anyone or any relationship."
Shen Qinghe's expression froze abruptly, a hint of panic flashing in his eyes: "No... that's not what I meant. I didn't want to bind you. I'm just... just afraid, afraid that one day you'll suddenly not want me anymore, and I won't even be able to say no."
Meng Zhao saw through his thoughts. "But what you're saying is all an attempt to control me. It should be my freedom to like or dislike whomever I want. I like you now, but you want to bind me to a marriage contract for life." Her gaze gradually calmed down, and she continued, "You even want to use worldly customs to ensure that I won't change my mind in the future, or even if I do change my mind, you can rely on your status as my husband to ensure that I can't leave you."
Meng Zhao's words were like a sharp blade, tearing Shen Qing's deepest, most secret thoughts to shreds. He was speechless, because every word she said was true.
Because he knew all too well how good Meng Zhao was, how many people admired her openly and secretly, and how many more outstanding people would appear around her in the future. If they could only maintain this clandestine relationship forever, in the eyes of outsiders he would always just be her "sworn brother," and those swarms of suitors would continue to flock to her.
Whenever he thought about how Meng Zhao might get tired of him one day, or how she might smile at others, he would be consumed by jealousy. Without the constraints of being husband and wife, she could abandon him at any time.
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