29. Time Stands Still
Ten years ago, when Vivian was traveling in the United States on a budget, she went to Niagara Falls with her college classmate Zhou Lin and his friend Xiao Jiang.
At that time, she didn't know Xiao Jiang and had no interest in waterfalls, but Zhou Lin insisted on making this plan and suggested that she fly to nearby Rochester first, meet up with the two of them, and then drive to New York together, passing by the Great Falls.
She did as she was told. She didn't care about the itinerary in the first place; as long as she was with her friends, she was happy. So, Zhou Lin would decide; after all, he knew the route well.
The flight arrived early in the morning, and Zhou Lin went to the airport to pick her up at Xiao Jiang's home. Xiao Jiang was a student at the University of Rochester at the time and had already left for classes. Zhou Lin had arrived two days earlier and was staying there.
Vivian had just finished a red-eye flight and was feeling jet-lagged. She felt sleepy as if she had never been so sleepy before. Zhou Lin asked, "Do you want to get some sleep first?"
She had initially thought it inappropriate to sleep in a stranger's bed. But her eyelids were already drooping, and sleepiness washed over her like a solid mass. She collapsed onto the bed. It was one of the most profound sleeps she had ever had. The only thing that could compare to it was the pure, dreamless sleep she experienced under general anesthesia during a minor surgery.
For insomniacs, the man they loved will be forgotten, but the experience of having a good sleep is unforgettable.
When she woke up, she didn't know what day it was. It was already dusk, and she had slept all day. Two men were waiting for her to wake up so they could eat.
Zhou Lin introduced Xiao Jiang to her. She had just woken from a long sleep, looking disheveled and unsure. Xiao Jiang must have thought she was Zhou Lin's girlfriend, otherwise why would she have come all the way to America to meet her?
Later, she recalled when she'd developed a crush on Xiao Jiang. It was probably in that little car, the usually bustling world outside receding in the rearview mirror, shrinking ever further and further, fading into the dust. Instead, the atmosphere inside the car became all that mattered: every gesture, every smile. Only this little world felt real, like a utopia.
They spent several days wandering New York, visiting Flushing, a city frozen in the 1980s and 1990s, eating lamb skewers and Shaanxi cold noodles, and visiting the Korean district for hot tofu and pork belly soup, the streets always having a slightly sour, decadent aroma. But that afternoon in Little Italy was her most unforgettable. It happened to be the annual Festival of the Gods, and Mulberry Street was decorated with flowers and colorful lights, a warm, kitschy, and lovely scene. The very spot where the gang leader once planned the murder was now bustling like a temple fair. Restaurants had set up tables and chairs on the street to attract customers, and countless small vendors sold fresh pizzas, giant sausages, pot dishes, peanut candy, and hand-knitted sweaters. The ring-tossing game vendors promised that for five dollars, you might get an iPhone, or at worst, a giant stuffed monkey.
It was a journey of pure joy.
Well, for the sake of that happy journey, I have to treat Xiao Jiang.
Besides her feelings for him, she was also a little curious about what he was like now, even though her previous experiences with old friends had always been very painful. It's said that women fear aging, but it's the decline of men that's truly terrifying.
When women age, their skin and flesh simply sag. When men age, they often develop fat on their faces, a bloated belly, and become completely deformed.
When asked what restaurant he'd choose, he simply said he didn't eat roast duck or shabu-shabu mutton, which were Vivian's usual no-brainer choices for friends from out of town or those who hadn't been home for a while. So she opted for Yunnan cuisine, which wasn't too extreme in flavor and could be enjoyed by everyone.
I booked a table for 6:30 and was able to get there just after get off work.
Vivian has severe face blindness. When she entered the restaurant, she only smiled when someone waved to her.
There was actually a little girl of four or five years old next to him.
"I'm really sorry, the nanny had something urgent to do, so I can only take her with me." He felt a little embarrassed.
"It's okay, it's okay. Hello, baby." The little girl was quiet and very well-behaved.
"Yaoyao, call me Aunt Fang."
The little girl called her in a sweet voice.
Vivian sometimes suspects she has ADHD—no, not to be frivolous, but she tends to overthink things when she shouldn't. For example, right now, she's thinking: If the genders were reversed, the man in the scene would probably be wondering if this was his child. Elva Hsiao has a music video that depicts this very touching story of a couple breaking up.
It seems that being a woman is better. At least it is easy to determine whether the child is our biological child.
After all these years, Xiao Jiang—calling him Xiao Jiang now seemed inappropriate, but ten years ago they'd called each other "Xiao Jiang" and "Xiao Fang," and there was something particularly youthful about those names—seemed to be the same personality change. He was a typical engineering student, a man of few words, each one a carefully considered statement. Compared to the often-talkative, self-proclaimed, yet ultimately dull finance men she encountered, he possessed a distinctly sincere charm.
The three of them traveled together that year, and perhaps it was because there was Zhou Lin, who liked to talk a lot, as a control group that she developed some feelings for the taciturn Xiao Jiang.
At this moment, she couldn't help but sigh: It turns out that for so many years, I have always liked such a man with a lot on his mind.
You deserve to have such a bumpy love life.
"Xiao Jiang and Xiao Fang" met for the first time in years, and because they had to constantly tend to the children's needs, they couldn't discuss anything profound. But they still vividly remembered the minor incidents along the way, as well as Zhou Lin's minor ailments and embarrassing moments. They both remembered the time they took a detour of dozens of kilometers to get to a famous local pizza restaurant, nearly getting lost and feeling utterly humiliated.
As he fed their daughter, Vivian observed him closely. As expected, time never spared anyone. When he smiled, there were faint wrinkles at the corners of his eyes, but they transformed into an attractive demeanor.
"Why did you suddenly come back?" She knew that he had been working in the United States since completing his doctoral studies.
"It's not too sudden, actually. My parents are old, and I'm an only child, so there has to be a solution for their retirement. After weighing the pros and cons, it's more convenient for me to come back first."
"Then..." Vivian looked at the little girl who was concentrating on playing with her food.
"I divorced her mother. Her mother stayed in the United States."
"I'm sorry, Zhou Lin never told me this. So... your daughter is so young, is your mother willing to give up custody?"
He smiled and said nothing.
Maybe she still has a filter, she thinks that a man who doesn't say bad things about his ex-wife is probably not a bad person.
Vivian doesn't actually like children, but strangely, they often love her. On trains and planes, there's always a child in the front seat who'll smile at her.
His daughter Yaoyao was doing the same thing. She was eating obediently, but suddenly she asked, "Dad, I want to sit with Auntie."
He quickly apologized: "Sorry, my family usually pampers her more."
"It's okay." Weiweian helped him move the child seat over. "Yaoyao, just sit next to Auntie."
The little girl's tiny hand softly pinched her arm: "Auntie, I want to eat that flower cake."
Ren Weiwei's heart was as hard as iron, but she also felt as if her heart was touched by this little hand.
"Thank you for taking care of her today. I'll treat you to dinner alone next time, okay?"
Vivian didn't mind seeing Xiao Jiang again. Seeing him would transport her back in time, returning her to the person she was ten years ago, the one willing to fly economy class for more than ten hours just to see an ordinary friend, rather than the middle-aged self she is now, who often turns down parties because she's too lazy to put on makeup.
Meeting Xiao Jiang is like turning back time at a low cost and keeping youth forever.
Because the children needed to go to bed early, they finished early. At the restaurant entrance, Vivian asked them to get in the car first. Yaoyao waved and said goodbye to Aunt Fang in a baby voice. She leaned over and kissed Yaoyao's little face. Xiao Jiang smiled with great satisfaction, and that smile was just as Vivian remembered it.
So harmonious, so warm, but at this moment, someone in Vivian's heart jumped out and said:
You don't think I'm suitable to be a stepmother.
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