4. Symphony of the New World
◎You were a genius, remember?
"Mothers are very sensitive."
Li Xun had something else he didn't say: You're very sensitive too. If I don't say it, you'll continue to carry this pressure, caught in a dilemma. This shouldn't be something you have to bear.
He didn't say anything because he knew Liang Chuling would argue back, saying that he was very capable, strong, and able to handle things.
Li Xun didn't think so, and therefore didn't want to hear these rebuttals.
Liang Chuling returned home and pondered those words alone, her mind a jumble of thoughts.
She never imagined that Madam Ma's ever-talkative mouth could also conceal a profound and all-knowing silence.
This possibility made her restless.
She needs an answer, even if it makes her even more uneasy.
Having chosen a time when her mother was likely in a good mood, Liang Chuling made an overseas video call.
As expected, Ms. Ma was wearing a face mask, with the hotel room's floor-to-ceiling windows in the background.
"Baby! Do you miss Mommy?" Ms. Ma's voice rose in pitch.
Liang Chuling didn't bother with any preamble; she recited her story of discovering her father's infidelity as if she were reciting a text. After she finished, her heart pounded like a drum, bracing herself for an impending catastrophe.
Ms. Ma pulled a silk scarf from somewhere on the bed, placed her phone on the phone holder, and skillfully twirled it with her hands, changing the way she tied it.
After listening, she didn't stop what she was doing; she wrapped the scarf around her hand and tied a pretty knot.
Then he looked at the video again, "Was it good?"
Ms. Ma replied abruptly, shaking the silk scarf in her hand.
Liang Chuling was stunned: "Huh?"
“I’m talking about this scarf,” Ms. Ma said, holding the scarf up to Liang Chuling. “It’s red. I’ll let you wear this for your next competition. I specially chose it yesterday.”
"I'm telling you my dad cheated on me!" Liang Chuling raised her voice. What kind of time is this!
Ms. Ma put down the silk scarf. Even though she was on screen, she wanted to pat her head, but the screen prevented her from doing so. She sighed, a long sigh, carrying a touch of the coldness typical of women her age.
"Sweetie, Mom already knew."
Liang Chuling seemed rooted to the spot. "You knew? How did you know? If you knew, why didn't you tell me? When did you find out?"
He thought to himself that Li Xun should set up a fortune-telling stall.
"First, the perfume on your dad's clothes doesn't smell like any of the ones I use. Second, he hasn't been home at all in the last two years. The answer is simpler than one plus one equals two, right?"
"So you're just going to put up with this?" Liang Chuling couldn't understand. The mother she imagined should be someone who punches her father, immediately divorces him, tears apart the mistress, and defends the family.
Ms. Ma raised her hand and carefully peeled off the face mask, revealing her well-maintained face underneath.
“Honey, life isn’t a soap opera. Do you want us to expose you and then get a divorce and divide the assets? Do you want to become a child of a single-parent family? We can’t expose you now. It’s for your sake, and not just for you, but for many other things. Your dad’s company is going through a critical period right now—equity, investments, a whole bunch of messy stuff. You’re going through a critical period too. And then there’s Mom’s planned trip next year, with non-refundable luxury hotel reservations. One thing can have far-reaching consequences, honey! A falling out now won’t do you any good, and it won’t do Mom any good either.”
She spoke the most realistic things in an almost humorous tone.
"Besides, what good will it do if we expose them? Crying, making a scene, and threatening suicide are all outdated tricks, honey. What's popular now is dignity. Let's pretend we don't know for now. Stay calm, we can win."
She even had the nerve to joke, "Look at all these new bags Mom has, aren't they beautiful? They all need a stable source of income."
As Liang Chuling listened to her mother's unrestrained tone as she analyzed the scheming and forbearance within a family, she felt her teeth chattering.
This adult world made her feel excluded.
Aren't we family?
Although we don't see each other often and don't live together, we are still family.
They are each other's most precious family.
I thought you needed me as much as I needed you, and I thought you needed each other as much as I needed you needed each other.
Why not? Why am I the only one who isn't?
The world is a sticky gray mess.
Seeing her face darken instantly, Mama's eyes softened and her tone gentle: "Alright, baby, don't think so much. Mom will take care of these things. Just focus on playing your piano. When you become a famous pianist and make a lot of money, Mom will rely on you to support me. At that time, I'll kick your dad to the curb!"
This reassurance left Liang Chuling somewhat flustered, and she hastily hung up the video call.
The room fell silent again, leaving only a sense of loss and confusion.
Looking around, one sees dignity everywhere.
The whole world seemed to have become false and unreliable.
She was like a child suddenly thrown into a fog, unable to see the direction or find anyone to rely on.
Then, she thought of Li Xun.
I remember his calm gaze and the words he spoke.
He had already guessed it, so should he just watch her struggle and panic like she was a fool?
But the thought only flashed through my mind.
More than anything, it's an urgent need—
She needs someone like Li Xun who can understand this chaos.
Li Xun is always quiet and unassuming, detached from all the turmoil.
-
The music room was busier than usual this Friday.
Two of Li Chi's students from abroad came to China for a performance tour this week and took the opportunity to visit their teacher—also to meet Liang Chuling, whom they had long admired.
The female student, Elena, was of Chinese descent. She had a bright, smiling face and spoke frankly. However, she no longer played the piano and had switched to the violin. The male student was a tall, thin Japanese-Chinese man with black-rimmed glasses, and he still spent his time with the piano.
"Liang Chuling!" Elena greeted her warmly as soon as she entered the door. "I'm so glad to finally meet you. I grew up listening to your legends."
Liang Chuling felt a little embarrassed by the praise, her cheeks flushing slightly. The anxiety she had been building up due to family matters was somewhat alleviated by this compliment.
Li Xun ordered drinks and placed one in front of each person.
Elena nodded to him as she took it, saying, "You're still so considerate."
The conversation naturally unfolded, and the topic eventually turned to relationships.
Elena suddenly said, "My boyfriend cheated on me."
The male student pushed up his glasses: "Then break his legs."
Elena laughed: "That's so undignified! I'm a civilized person."
The male student raised an eyebrow: "Why bother with appearances? Back when Teacher Li Chi was cheated on by her husband, she broke his legs. How satisfying!"
Elena gasped and quickly turned her head: "Li Xun! Really?"
Liang Chuling also quickly turned her head, her eyes filled with shock and... tension?
Liang Chuling's straw was broken, and Li Xun was looking for a new one for her in the takeout bag. Hearing this, he paused and nodded: "Yes, it's true."
Li Xun opened the straw and handed it to her, but Liang Chuling didn't take it and even took a step back. Only then did Li Xun notice her gaze and inexplicably spoke up to defend her, "Don't be nervous, I would never lay a hand on you."
These words were so abrupt that Elena burst into a thunderous laugh: "My God! Li Xun, what are you thinking?!"
Liang Chuling was completely taken aback, only one thought running through her mind: Did Li Xun think she was too weak and frail to fight back? Did he look down on her?
She straightened her back: "You make it sound like I can't beat you!"
Upon hearing this, even the taciturn male student couldn't help but burst out laughing.
Elena laughed so hard she slammed her hand on the table: "My God, you two..."
Li Xun rarely showed a hint of embarrassment, and his voice was somewhat helpless: "What I mean is... sigh, never mind."
He felt that the more he talked, the less he could explain, and he regretted subconsciously saying that.
The topic then shifted again.
The male student asked Elena what she had been watching lately, and Elena said she had been rewatching "EVA".
Liang Chuling sat beside her; she had heard of the animation but had never seen it.
Her childhood was filled with piano practice and competitions; entertainment like comics and animation were far removed from her life.
But she was very curious, so she couldn't help but ask, "What is EVA about?"
Elena and the male student were both looking at her at the same time, and Liang Chuling felt a little embarrassed: "I haven't seen it before, I'm just asking."
Before the male student could explain, Li Xun interrupted, as if telling a story to a child: "It's about a boy forced to pilot a giant robot in battle. The core theme is about the barriers between people, how to cope with loneliness and trauma, and so on..."
"Tell them not to run away."
"Don't run away?" Liang Chuling repeated.
"Yes. When facing pain, facing the truth, facing yourself, don't run away."
They continued to discuss the details, lines, and metaphors in the play.
Liang Chuling was completely confused and asked several questions, each one revealing a childlike curiosity. Li Xun kept coming to her rescue and explaining things to her. So Liang Chuling started looking at Li Xun instead of Elena.
The class was relatively relaxed, and afterwards Li Chi unusually suggested, "Let's have a meal together."
The five of them went into a Japanese restaurant near the music room.
The atmosphere inside the private room was so relaxed that it didn't feel like a teacher-student gathering.
Li Chi ate quickly, and after paying the bill, she stood up and said, "I have something to do. You young people can chat all you want." She patted Li Xun on the shoulder and then left briskly.
When the remaining four people left the restaurant, it was completely dark.
The early winter evening breeze was chilly, but no one said they wanted to go home.
"Shall we take a walk?" Elena suggested.
So they walked aimlessly along the Liangma River, Elena and the male student in front, Liang Chuling and Li Xun half a step behind. The warm light from the shop windows cast their blurry shadows.
Liang Chuling suddenly quickened her pace to walk alongside her: "Elena, I forgot to ask, you play the piano so well, why did you switch to learning the violin?"
Elena turned her head: "Because I saw my own boundaries."
"Um?"
"You can't understand, can you? A genius like you can't see your own limits. Nobody knows where your ceiling is, maybe not even you yourself."
“But we’re different from you. There’s a limit to what I can do. I know how far I can go, and I also know how far I can’t go.”
"But there are advantages to this too. Since there's a limit, I won't be bound by fate. So I can try the violin, and later I can try other things. The world is vast, isn't it?"
Liang Chuling understood this principle—intellectually.
But emotionally, she truly struggles to understand what it feels like to "see one's own boundaries." In her world, there is only the possibility of improvement, the next goal, and an endless pursuit of progress.
Not knowing how to phrase it, I just looked around aimlessly, and that's how I saw Liang's father's car stop at a red light. The passenger window was rolled down halfway, revealing a woman's profile, but it wasn't the woman in the photo.
Liang Chuling stopped in her tracks, her eyes fixed on the car window. One? Two? How many were there exactly?
Li Xun followed her gaze. He didn't recognize Liang's father, but seeing Liang Chuling's condition, he guessed about 70-80% of what was going on.
Elena and the male student in front noticed that they hadn't kept up and turned around.
"What's wrong?" Elena jogged back, following Liang Chuling's gaze to look across the street.
The light turned green, and Liang's father's car merged into the traffic.
Liang Chuling's spirit returned to its place, and she waved her hand, saying, "It's nothing, it's nothing!"
Elena looked at her with a puzzled expression, then at Li Xun, and didn't ask any more questions.
Liang Chuling deliberately slowed her pace, falling behind. Li Xun naturally stayed by her side.
After putting some distance between herself and the two people in front of her, Liang Chuling tugged at Li Xun's sleeve and said softly but fiercely, "If I run into them again next time, I'm going to break my dad's legs!"
“That won’t do, we can’t be so impulsive,” Li Xun said immediately. “In the end, you’ll most likely be the one who gets hurt.”
Liang Chuling seemed not to hear, only repeating, "Interrupt! Interrupt! Interrupt!"
Li Xun hurriedly reached out and grabbed her wrist, his fingers encircling her wrist bone, pulling her firmly to stop her from walking and face him: "Liang Chuling, you can't. At least you can't do this kind of thing alone."
Liang Chuling struggled for a moment, but Li Xun held her firmly.
"If you encounter a situation like this again, tell me immediately. Don't rush in alone, okay?" Li Xun asked earnestly.
Liang Chuling bit her lip, wanting to continue but was interrupted!
Li Xun reached out his other hand and pinched her upper and lower lips with his thumb and forefinger.
Liang Chuling's mouth formed a duck's beak, silencing her, and she could only stare at him with wide eyes.
Under the streetlights, her eyes were wet.
This comical pose lasted only two seconds before Li Xun released her hand, but didn't let go of the hand holding her wrist: "Promise me."
Liang Chuling took a breath and hummed in agreement.
Elena, who was a few steps ahead, turned around and saw this scene. She secretly raised her phone and took a picture without flash, a silent, candid shot.
A few minutes later, Elena pulled the male student to a stop at an intersection: "Let's go this way, the hotel we booked is here. Goodbye?"
"Goodbye." Li Xun nodded.
Liang Chuling also waved.
Once Elena and the others disappeared around the street corner, Li Xun released Liang Chuling's wrist.
Liang Chuling suddenly asked, "Did your father cheat on his wife too?"
Li Xun turned to look at her: "Yes."
Liang Chuling was a little surprised by his straightforward answer. Li Xun was actually not one to talk much about his personal life.
“There’s nothing I can’t say, and quite a few people know about this.” Li Xun looked at Liang Chuling’s shocked expression and added with a smile, his voice steady in the evening breeze, “Especially when it comes to you, there’s even less I can’t say.”
Liang Chuling lowered her head and kicked a small pebble at her feet: "Did Teacher Li Chi really break your father's leg?"
Li Xun nodded, a smile appearing on his lips: "Yes."
Liang Chuling exclaimed in surprise before saying, "Teacher Li Chi is really amazing."
Li Xun laughed out loud: "What's so great about her? She almost got beaten up by my dad when he was limping."
"What? Your dad beat up Teacher Li Chi?" Liang Chuling jumped up in anger. "Is your dad still in America? Next time I perform there, give me your address, and I'll break his other leg too! No, I'll just go and kill him!"
"Don't be angry, don't be angry, you didn't get hit. I'm still here, I pulled my mom away." Li Xun quickly pressed her down, his voice filled with a helpless smile, "Why are you more agitated than me?"
"I'm angry!"
Li Xun looked at her: "So do you understand now?"
"Understand what?"
Li Xun stopped and turned to face her, his eyes sparkling under the streetlights: "Why can't you rush forward alone? Because it's dangerous."
Liang Chuling sniffed: "Oh."
Li Xun asked, as if checking homework: "How was it supposed to be done again? Do you remember?"
Liang Chuling whispered, "I want to tell you, I want to drag you along."
Li Xun nodded, a smile curving his lips: "Yes, that's great."
The two continued walking, and Liang Chuling remembered something else: "Elena switched to learning the violin, so will you stop playing the piano in the future?"
Li Xun turned his head to look at her: "Why do you ask that?"
Liang Chuling kicked the pavement: "Elena said it's because she saw her own boundaries, so she was free to choose other things. Did you see that too?"
She asked cautiously, afraid of touching a sore spot for him.
Li Xun asked another question: "Don't you want me to play the piano with you?"
Liang Chuling immediately shook her head: "No! I'm worried that you won't come to class with me anymore."
Li Xun smiled gently: "Don't worry, it won't happen."
They reached an intersection with a red light. The two stood side by side at the zebra crossing, waiting as cars passed by, their headlights casting ambiguous shadows in the night.
After crossing this intersection, we arrived at Liang Chuling's residential area. Li Xun only said one sentence: "Get some rest."
-
The next day was Saturday. Liang Chuling slept until noon before being woken up by a call from the courier. Rubbing her eyes, she went downstairs and signed for a rather large cardboard box.
Inside, there's the complete set of "Neon Genesis Evangelion" comic books and original art books.
Li Xun's message popped up: "Aren't you curious? You can take a look."
The sunlight outside the window moved slowly, and Liang Chuling didn't know how long she had been watching it.
The boy who wanted to escape.
That boy who was pushed along by fate.
That boy, bewildered by the lies and schemes of adults.
-
After Sunday's lesson, Li Xun packed up his sheet music: "I need to go to the record store; the CDs I ordered last time have arrived."
Liang Chuling looked up: "Which one?"
"The one behind your school."
"Then I'll go too."
Li Xun nodded: "Okay, let's go together. I'll take you home after we're done."
When I came out after buying the goods, the alley was completely dark.
The streetlights weren't on yet; only the neon lights from the distant main street shone through.
Liang Chuling walked to Li Xun's left, turned out of the alley, and entered the bustling main street.
Across the street, at a window seat in a shop, Mr. Liang was sitting with a young woman.
The woman is well-dressed and has a gentle smile; she is the person in the photo.
The two sat very close together. Liang's father had a joyful smile on his face that Liang Chuling hadn't seen in a long time, and he was offering a piece of cake to the woman's mouth.
Li Xun noticed Liang Chuling's unusual behavior and followed her gaze, where he also saw the scene.
Just as Li Xun was still unsure what to say or do, Liang Chuling suddenly moved.
She reached out and grabbed Li Xun's arm tightly, pulling him to the window of that house. They stopped, and she deliberately leaned close to Li Xun, then called out, "Dad! What a coincidence!"
After saying that, he patted the window glass forcefully.
Mr. Liang remained calm, but the young woman beside him lowered her head somewhat awkwardly.
Liang Chuling pulled on the stiff Li Xun. She could feel Li Xun's muscles tense, but he did not break free. Instead, he adjusted his position to make her lean against him more steadily.
"And who is this?" Liang Chuling looked at the young woman whose expression was starting to look unnatural.
Mr. Liang forced a stern expression: "This is a colleague of one of my business partners; we're discussing some matters. And who is this?"
The question was directed at Li Xun, but in Liang Chuling's tone.
Li Xun didn't look at the young woman, but turned to Liang's father. He knew the question was directed at him, but it wasn't really up to him to answer.
Liang Chuling, who was supposed to answer, kept looking at the woman.
He saw her face turn completely red, saw her hands gripping the tablecloth tightly, saw her shoulders trembling, saw her trying to leave but being held down by Liang's father, and saw that she didn't dare to look him in the eye.
The woman didn't have bangs, so Liang Chuling saw a bruise on her forehead.
“This is Li Xun, my piano teacher’s son,” Liang Chuling replied while looking at the woman, her anger barely contained.
Li Xun then forced a smile and nodded, "Hello, Uncle."
"We have something to do, so we'll be leaving now!"
Liang Chuling dragged Li Xun away from the scene. She only let go of Li Xun's arm when the shop was completely out of sight.
Li Xun stood beside her without asking any questions.
Liang Chuling's left hand was covered in dust from hitting the glass earlier. Li Xun, who was carrying a crossbody bag, took out a wet wipe and handed it to her, but Liang Chuling didn't take it. So he took Liang Chuling's left hand and carefully wiped it for her.
Liang Chuling's eyes suddenly welled up with tears.
All the disappointment he felt towards his father and the incomprehension he felt towards his mother had now turned into disgust with himself for deserting his post.
She remembered something else; Li Xun had told her about that comic book, which was about "Don't Run Away".
Don't run away.
But she's running away. Is it because she's too weak?
Li Xun seemed to understand what she was thinking perfectly. He said, "Liang Chuling, you ran away not because you were weak."
Liang Chuling sobbed, looking at him through her teary eyes.
Li Xun's eyes were gentle. He was taller than Liang Chuling, so he bent down slightly to meet her gaze. He said firmly, "In a family, when parents are unwilling to lift the curtain or choose to maintain it in another way, if a child rushes in to tear it, it will only make them more hurt and the situation more embarrassing. It won't change anything."
Face to face, eye to eye, her disheveled face was reflected in his light-colored pupils.
Liang Chuling then noticed that Li Xun's pupils were really light, even lighter than amber.
"That's not your battlefield. You made the right choice to leave. The child is powerless. It's not your fault."
Children are inherently powerless.
Yes, what can she do?
She couldn't change her father, nor could she make decisions for her mother.
She was trapped in this web woven by adults, and all her anger, resentment, and resistance ultimately bounced back and hurt her.
In this family drama dominated by her parents, her role as the daughter was inherently set as powerless.
The tears flowed even more fiercely, and Li Xun pulled out another tissue—
Liang Chuling took it without waiting for him to hand it to her.
"Then what should I do?"
"Study hard, play the piano well, and take good care of yourself. You're a genius, remember?"
Liang Chuling nodded.
Li Xun asked, "Where do you want to go now? Or go home?"
Liang Chuling blew her nose and shook her head.
"I don't want to go home," she said.
"Okay." Li Xun nodded.
The two walked side by side again, silently into the early winter evening.
Liang Chuling belatedly realized that she had let Li Xun down, as she was the one who had dragged him into this chaotic battlefield.
"I'm sorry, I just..."
“You did a great job just now,” Li Xun interrupted her.
Liang Chuling's eyes were red and swollen, and her gaze was blank.
"You promised you wouldn't rush up alone. You did it, great job, little genius."
Liang Chuling's nose stung again, and after the stinging sensation subsided, the wind made her shrink her neck.
There was a roasted sweet potato stall on the street, with the roasted sweet potatoes living in a tin-roofed house. Before she could speak, Li Xun had already walked over, bought one, broken it in half, and handed her his portion wrapped in a tissue.
The sweet potatoes were very hot and sweet, and the two of them stood on the street, breathing out white steam as they ate the roasted sweet potatoes.
Li Xun didn't need her apology. He knew in his heart that some boundaries had already blurred the moment he made a request to Liang Chuling.
He also realized that Liang Chuling was drawing on his "peace" as a shield against the chaos of the world.
Li Xun was struggling internally; he was used to being alone and to observing from the sidelines.
However, seeing her vulnerability at this moment, he found himself unable to leave.
He told himself: Just stay with her until she gets through this period. Once things calm down at her family's place, and she returns to being that proud genius, everything will be fine.
But this 'just' is starting to become less pure.
Li Xun began to pay more attention to her emotions. When she was restless while playing the piano or staring blankly at the sheet music, he would find a topic to distract her and try to do something for her, and he would find a good reason for every action he took.
I am fully prepared to answer fluently and explain my harmless motives when asked.
Even though nobody asked...
Li Chi didn't care, and Liang Chuling was insensitive.
Li Xun was exhausted from debating with himself, and when he looked back, there were no judges or audience members.
The moonlight was beautiful that night, and the two of them lingered until very late before leaving the music room building.
Standing downstairs, Liang Chuling looked at the sky and suddenly didn't want to go home.
She took out her phone, plugged in her earphones, and handed one to Li Xun.
"Want to listen?" she asked.
Li Xun took the earphones and put them in his ears.
Liang Chuling chose Dvořák's "Symphony No. 2005" and the second movement, with a distant and melancholic melody flowing slowly.
They stood side by side under the cold moonlight, sharing the same warm symphony.
Music isolates you from the outside world.
Liang Chuling could hear her own heart beating too fast, not knowing if it was because she had walked too fast or something else.
She glanced sideways at Li Xun. He was looking up at the starry sky.
The wind instruments in the headphones played the sound of a wide road, while the strings gently led into a dark passage.
Liang Chuling suddenly felt that the world was both quiet and noisy at this moment.
It was so quiet that only the music and her heartbeat remained, yet she could feel the steady breathing of the person beside her.
She wasn't sure if he could hear her heartbeat.
But her heartbeat, under the cover of the symphony, was quietly trying to synchronize with the new world.
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