010｜(IX) Erycibe
The absurd passion of the night subsided, and reason returned.
Driven by his pride in his lucid moments, Xie Qingyan was consumed by a sense of shame and anger, unable to accept his true sexual desires.
Unlike talking eloquently online, firsthand experience and theoretical discussions are completely different things.
She was in the innocent and curious stage of adolescence, and her understanding of sex was still at the level of "it's okay to talk about it casually, but in reality, people have desires, which is shameful and inferior."
This is a result of inadequate and conservative sex education, which makes adults reluctant to discuss sex and turn pale at the mention of it.
Not to mention teenagers in their prime, it becomes a heavy burden, weighing heavily on their hearts, causing them to fall into deep self-loathing and denial immediately after enjoying it.
She looked listless, shrank into the sofa, and curled up in a ball.
Ms. Xie Jinyu knew she would definitely be killed.
This is wrong. Xie Qingyan kept biting her nails until all ten fingers were raw.
She repeated to herself, "Comics are just comics; comics can't become reality."
She should be more normal; she shouldn't have such terrible sexual fetishes.
Xie Qingyan was filled with unease.
Su Xingmao sent her a message.
Xie Qingyan gritted her teeth and clicked on it.
The first thing that catches the eye is Su Xingmao's portrait, taken on the hill behind the villa, showing a clump of erythrina. The abundant, misty blue blooms alone among the emerald waves of grass. Speaking of this photo, it was taken a long time ago with Xie Qingyan.
It was during a holiday, a hot summer day, with clear skies, bright sunshine, and a porcelain blue sky.
Xie Qingyan carried her oil painting box to the mountain to sketch. She was not a patient person and had an impatient temperament. She was inconsistent in everything she did, but she had a special love for art. Ever since she picked up a paintbrush in kindergarten, she had never put it down.
The Xie family villa is nestled against the mountain, with a winding path leading to Lingquan Mountain from the back courtyard. The scenery halfway up the mountain is beautiful, with peach trees planted all over the hillside. Every spring, the peach blossoms are bright red, like raindrops of crimson.
In summer, the grass is lush and green, and walking here, you feel warm and misty everywhere, as if you have accidentally entered a flower village.
Lingquan Mountain is a natural sketching spot. Xie Qingyan often spends her weekends sitting on the mountain with her easel. As a child, she drew simple sketches, colored pencils, and oil pastels. Later, she did sketching, quick sketches, and color painting. At that time, she was obsessed with oil painting, especially the Impressionist style. She was fascinated by observing the changes in the same scenery under different light and shadow, and the unique and wonderful beauty.
It's quite interesting, just like how people experience a hundred different emotions when faced with different situations.
Time also imbues the scenery with emotions.
The flowers are lush when the rain falls, and sway in the breeze; they are serene when the sky is overcast, and radiant when the sky is clear.
Wearing a sun hat, she was so engrossed in the painting that she stood for three hours straight under the scorching sun.
Xie Qingyan enjoys painting. She likes mixing different colors of paint, and each stroke is a unique shade. In her opinion, painting is no different from building blocks when she was a child. Just as building blocks are added brick by brick to build a beautiful little house, each stroke in a painting is also a tile or brick, building a world that belongs to her.
Holding a palette in one hand and a brush in the other, sky blue and titanium white are used to create the colors of the sky, while bright pink, lemon yellow, and rose red blend into the fragrance of flowers; pale purple, spring blue, and moon gray form the shadowy side of the flower bushes, while diamond blue, lilac, and lilac paint clusters of stubborn eryngium.
As Xie Qingyan finished painting a lifelike picture with the last stroke, he clapped his hands in satisfaction. Just as he was about to pack up his painting tools, he turned around and saw an uninvited guest standing behind him.
It was the constellation Mao, standing silently amidst layers of flowers, like a plaster statue blended into a painting, for an unknown period of time.
"Are you sick? Why do you walk so quietly?" Xie Qingyan rolled her eyes.
"Aunt Xie can't find you." Su Xingmao's tone was flat, revealing no emotion: "She's very worried."
Xie Qingyan hurriedly reached for her phone, only to realize she had forgotten it in her haste to come and go. It was likely that Ms. Xie Jinyu, returning from a business trip, discovered she wasn't home and that her phone went unanswered.
Xie Qingyan said irritably, "How did you know I was here? Give me your phone, I'll tell my mom."
Su Xingmao didn't respond, but handed her the phone. Xie Qingyan took a picture of the flowers and plants, sent it to Ms. Xie Jinyu, and told her that she had forgotten to bring her phone in her haste to leave and was painting in the mountains.
After returning home, she was scolded by Ms. Xie for being forgetful and never tidying up.
That hastily taken photo of the erythrina grove, meant to let everyone know he was safe, became the portrait that Su Xingmao used for several years the following day.
My gaze focused again on this photo.
Xie Qingyan had already subconsciously clicked on his profile picture.
Su Xingmao's nickname has never changed since the day he registered.
The two letters XX are probably an abbreviation for star or little star, since Ms. Xie Jinyu often calls him that.
Xie Qingyan deleted the chat box.
After thinking for a long time, the first thing she did was to delete Su Xingmao, and blacklist him on WeChat, QQ, Weibo, music apps... every social media platform she could think of.
Completed in one go, swiftly and efficiently.
Call Xie Qingyan a coward or a shrinking turtle, whatever you want, she intends to ignore Su Xingmao, blinded by her own limited perspective.
Out of sight, out of mind!
The door lock code was also quickly changed, and for the rest of the summer vacation, she locked herself in the villa for half a month without leaving the house.
Su Xingmao was too close to her, and she absolutely did not want to have any further contact with him before she could untangle this mess.
Isolation and unilaterally cutting off contact were the only solutions she could think of.
She needed some peace and quiet. As the thought crossed her mind, a ridiculous self-mockery surfaced in her heart. It was quite funny how she resembled someone who would just lift their skirt and run away... Hmm... having her fun and then turning her back on everyone.
The life of staying at home was quite enjoyable, especially at first. The nanny took care of three meals a day, and she ate and slept, slept and ate. When she was bored, she would play games, scroll through Douyin, watch TV series and movies. Occasionally, she would only perfunctorily write two papers to deal with Xie Jinyu's online quizzes.
Days passed uneventfully, and a week went by in the blink of an eye. Tired of games and movies, Xie Qingyan felt bored, tired, and depressed. He began to reverse his day and night, and another seven days passed.
One night, she had just finished playing a few games and her stomach was growling with hunger when, unfortunately, the nanny had to leave home.
Xie Qingyan had no choice but to order takeout. The Lingquan Mountain villa area strictly prohibits outsiders from visiting and has strict management of visitors, so the takeout had to be delivered to the door by the housekeeper.
As night fell, the property management staff was short-staffed, and Xie Qingyan couldn't wait for the food to be delivered, so she went to get it herself.
Xie Qingyan took a deep breath, pushed open the door and went out. When she passed the residence, she even quickened her pace a little. Fortunately, it was late at night and she was able to retrieve the takeout smoothly.
As I was walking back, a figure suddenly appeared at my doorstep.
Xie Qingyan wondered if she could escape successfully if she threw the takeout in his face right now.
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