Chapter 83 Two-in-one: Destruction before construction, destruction before construction...
For several seconds after hearing this, Xia Chun's mind was blank.
Then the memories gradually connected.
He recalled the day when he passed by the swimming pool.
Through the glass window, the figure originally sitting high on the diving platform fell forward. If it were a movie clip, it would have been a slow and long shot that gradually focused under a gray filter.
The falling figure finally shattered the calm surface of the water, causing huge waves.
The splashing water hit the window, forming wet ripples, and then slid down.
The sound at that moment formed a roar in his mind, and he felt a chill. Although it was a gloomy day, the light in front of his eyes was as dazzling as a thorn of light.
What was he thinking at that time?
The depression that was stuck in my heart and couldn't be relieved was like being smashed by a huge rock, and a sour and refreshing feeling that made my scalp tingle rose from the bottom of my heart.
What's wrong with him?
Things that he had always wanted to do but had not been able to do appeared before his eyes. In a trance, he seemed to be involved in the situation, and the empathy he gained from it made his limbs numb.
"I remember there was a special student who threatened to jump off the rooftop. We finally managed to persuade him to stop, but there was another person who wanted to follow suit."
Xia Chun said calmly, "I heard that it was that blind boy in our class who bullied the young master of the Gu family and forced him to jump off the building."
"I thought at the time that Ding Ziyu was not so blind." He smoothed his hair to cover up, "So you have a hobby of jumping off buildings with others?"
Gu Yang had no vague impression of what Xia Chun had mentioned.
"Oh? You care so much about my affairs?"
"Not really. It's such a big thing. People around me are talking about it. I just listened to a few words and went in."
Xia Chun said this.
Whenever I hear any relevant information, I will think of myself. I feel fear and rejection, but I can't help but pay attention to it every time.
"The most important thing for you now is to find a psychiatrist." Xia Chun made a sincere suggestion.
"I've seen a lot, but they're all the same old stuff. I've memorized it by heart."
Xia Chun choked. He didn't expect that Gu Yang was not at all afraid of seeing a doctor.
He asked abruptly: "Do you have someone you like?"
Gu Yang, who originally had a distracted expression, suddenly froze. The suspicious red marks on his ears were hidden in the night, but Xia Chun noticed his subtle pause.
"What? Got it?" In such a bad situation, he was still in the mood to gossip. "Can you tell me who it is?"
Gu Yang had a gloomy face and didn't want to talk, his mind was full of Song Yinxing's incomprehensible words.
...Kiss his head.
The moment he asked this question, Xia Chun had actually realized that he had said something wrong, but unfortunately he had no chance to take it back.
He was afraid that Gu Yang would say the name that embarrassed him, so he quickly changed the subject: "Since you both have someone you like, there's no need for you to stay here with me and die."
Gu Yang did not remain silent and turned his head away: "I... don't want to become like her."
Now it was Xia Chun's turn to be silent.
Everyone has their own worries, and this is not something he can enlighten.
He breathed a sigh of relief, pressed his palms on the stone slab beneath him, and then stood up.
So high.
He obviously didn't adjust the height much, but after standing up, the scenery below seemed even more daunting. He even wondered if his legs were shaking.
"I can not jump, but can you come down too?" Gu Yang said softly.
The sound did not fluctuate because of his actions and remained calm.
Xia Chun's gaze had already shifted away from the other person, but when he heard these words, he couldn't help but curl the corners of his mouth.
“Do you know the story of Nezha?”
“…”
"When I was a kid, I turned on the TV and it happened to be showing one of these scenes."
"I watched the people in the story commit suicide, cut out their bones to give back to their fathers, cut off their flesh to give back to their mothers. I didn't know the cause and effect, but I cried so hard at the time that I couldn't even breathe and my whole body was numb."
He covered his mouth, trying desperately to stop himself from whimpering, but that was purely because he was overthinking. In the living room, across the door, his mother was talking and laughing loudly with someone else, and her unbridled laughter drowned out his whimpers.
For a moment he felt like he was suffocating, and couldn't help but think about what his mother's reaction would be when she came in if he really died here.
Would she hug his body and cry loudly? Would she feel guilty, guilty for making him stay in the room in front of so many people just because of a small dispute?
He imagined an expression of pain and regret on that face, and a strange sourness and numbness arose in his heart.
Nezha returned his body, and from then on his soul was free, no longer bound by blood ties.
So what about him?
The wailing of the night wind pierced through time and solidified his mood at the moment.
After so many years, he still hasn't made any progress and only wants to abandon everything, leaving behind only a cold corpse.
This was the greatest revenge he could think of.
"I still wonder what her reaction would be if I died?" Xia Chun muttered to himself with his eyes closed.
He didn't expect a response to this sentence, but Gu Yang's voice rang out.
"After you fell from the building, the school notified your parents immediately."
Xia Chun's eyes, which had been closed, suddenly opened.
"When Feng Xiaochun was asking for a special enrollment quota for you, he was angered by He Yihong's cold attitude, so he said out of spite that he only wanted one quota and would never set foot in Guanli Middle School."
"But after hearing the news, she didn't care about anything else and ran all the way to the school. But she didn't realize that you had been sent to the hospital, so she hurried back."
“…”
Sounds like something she would do.
He forced a smile and said, "Why are you suddenly making up stories for me? I'm not a child who needs a bedtime story to fall asleep."
"It's not a story." Gu Yang said, the scattered hair on his forehead was blown by the wind, revealing his clear eyebrows and eyes. His eyes obviously lacked enthusiasm, and his tone of voice was also a statement without any fluctuation, "It is something that will really happen."
"But in the original plot, the place you chose to jump off was the school rooftop."
Xia Chun's heart skipped a beat.
This was indeed his original idea.
"So I told him in advance to lock all the doors to the rooftops of the entire school and not let anyone go up." Gu Yang paused subtly when he said this, and thought of the group in Class 11 who eavesdropped on his thoughts and hid them from him.
It was self-evident who he was here, and Xia Chun didn't want to go into more depth on this topic.
He was indeed too self-centered. He was obsessed with revenge, revenge on his mother, and he also harbored resentment towards his biological father, whom he had only met a few times. But he almost forgot whether his behavior would leave a shadow on that person again.
"...It's a good story." Xia Chun spoke slowly and carefully, looking down at Gu Yang, "It sounds like it's true."
"You also wrote a suicide note." Gu Yang continued.
Xia Chun, who originally thought that the other party had come up with a new trick, froze completely when he heard this. He opened his eyes wide in disbelief: "How could you..."
"You wrote three sentences in your suicide note, one for each of the three people. You said..."
"Stop talking..." Xia Chun interrupted Gu Yang, his eyes were a little confused, "How do you know all this?"
"I don't just know you, I also know a lot of other people, like Lu Ran, Nie Ying and so on. Oh, by the way, that's why I framed him when I jumped into the swimming pool."
Xia Chun's expression was a little shaken, but he didn't have the energy to find out where Gu Yang knew so much.
"...And then what?" he asked tremblingly.
"The follow-up is that you could not be rescued, and your mother lost you as her last support. She blamed herself too much and became confused. She even lost the motivation to live."
The first part is true, but Gu Yang made some slight changes here.
Feng Xiaochun was indeed depressed for a long time after Xia Chun's death. He would want to cry and regret his decision whenever he saw anything related to his child.
But as time passed, she finally came to it slowly. At first, she participated in some public welfare activities such as orphanages, and placed her regretful emotions on those children. She also changed her habits of playing cards and idling around.
Later, he met Xie Kai, and the two people who had both lost their most important people chose to warm each other up.
But Gu Yang always felt that if he told everything, Xia Chun might really leave without any regrets.
Sure enough, when Xia Chun heard these words, his eyes trembled violently.
This was clearly the revenge he wanted, but when he actually heard the ending, he couldn't help but feel heartbroken and upset.
“…I see.”
Every time someone said something unpleasant to him or slapped him in the face, he felt so angry that he made up his mind to never give the other person a good look again. But as long as the other person showed a little concern, he would uncontrollably soften his heart and give in.
Gu Yang looked at the other person's expression. He couldn't understand such a complicated and awkward feeling because the connection between him and his mother was originally very weak, so at this moment he just waited quietly for the other person to digest his emotions.
"But what should I do?" Xia Chun asked in a trembling and confused voice. The gap in his emotions was finally torn open, and the voice that burst out at this moment was completely free of the numbness from before. "It has become like this, what should I do?"
"My disguise as a woman has been exposed. Everyone knows that I am a liar and have deceived so many people. In this situation, how can I apologize?"
"...handwritten apology letter?"
Xia Chun: “…”
His mood was suddenly interrupted.
"And it's just a lie, it's not a big deal." Gu Yang asked in surprise and confusion.
He really didn't understand Xia Chun's train of thought: "On the Internet and in the entertainment industry, there are so many people who are making trouble every day. After being exposed, those who should be cleared will be cleared, and those who can't be cleared will kneel down and send a handwritten apology letter or record an apology video. After a while, won't they still be active?"
Xia Chun clenched his hands. He understood what Gu Yang said, but he just couldn't get over the hurdle in his heart: "It's different. You even lied about your gender. I'm unprecedented. I guess you all think I'm disgusting."
"Not really. Maybe some people just like this." Gu Yang said calmly, relying on his Internet sense that he had developed from frequently surfing the Internet.
The deep breath Xia Chun took was stuck in his throat and couldn't go up or down.
He has deeply realized that chatting with Gu Yang requires a strong brain circuit.
"And it's not just you. There's a female blogger in the senior section of a Douyin account next door, called the Most Beautiful Sunset Red. She's actually a man dressed as a woman. She's in her fifties, and she works out and plucks her leg hair every day just to wear a short skirt and charm the old men in the live broadcast room. Don't you think that's pretty inspiring?"
Xia Chun: “……?”
His silence was somewhat deafening, he didn't really care for these kinds of bloggers so he couldn't be rude to them, but just thinking about that scene made him feel bad.
"I don't think I've ever come across this..."
“It hasn’t been exposed yet, but Big Brother has already collected evidence and is preparing to sue for compensation for mental illness.
"Then how do you know?" Xia Chun wondered if he was lying to her again.
"The number one guy on the list is my great uncle." Gu Yang had only attacked the other party lightly because he thought he was too talkative, but he didn't expect that Lao Deng's defense would be broken like this.
“…”
"Oh, right." Gu Yang clapped his hands as an idea came to him. "I can use his incident to calm you down and divert your attention. How about that?"
"No, no thanks."
"You don't have to be polite. This is Lao Deng's money. He was planning to do something big."
As if he had inadvertently caught a glimpse of the feuds among the rich and powerful, Xia Chun wanted to say something, but when he opened his mouth he couldn't help but burst out laughing.
This is ridiculous.
How could such a ridiculous thing happen?
It's a hundred times more outrageous than his story.
...How has this world become so crazy?
He laughed so hard that his waist bent down, and held on to the railing behind him. This action of survival was completely subconscious. After he reacted, the smile on his face paused, and then slowly spread again.
He really couldn't stand himself.
In that moment of emptiness, his eyes subconsciously tried to find a place to stay.
"When things have calmed down, you can change your look and start a new life. Even if you are recognized, you can shamelessly say, 'Oh, I'm not you. It seems that people often say that. It seems that we really do look alike.'"
Xia Chun tried to imagine the scene in his mind.
This overly understated description is like the curtain call of a play where the leading actor took off his costume and walked off the stage, and when he was recognized by the audience, it was just a joke.
"Without destruction there is no construction. Destruction precedes construction. What happened this time can be regarded as the beginning of a new life, right?"
Xia Chun's eyes followed the voice and fell on Gu Yang again.
The moonlight shone on his eyelashes, as if covered with a layer of gentle frost, and the falling shadows fanned out subtle outlines.
It's like light itself.
He held onto the railing and walked forward step by step along the edge of the rooftop. When he reached the edge, his line of sight almost formed a straight line with Gu Yang who was standing two floors below.
He looked straight at Gu Yang, and finally revealed a helpless and relieved smile.
"Well, I think I'm a little moved."
"…for what you just said."
"I'll try again, this time for myself, let's jump down from another place." The wind blew his hair, Xia Chun curved his eyes, "Can you catch me, Gu Yang?"
His body leaned forward, but he heard Gu Yang say firmly: "No."
Xia Chun was about to turn his leg forward but he quickly pulled it back, but he didn't control his strength well and almost fell down.
“…”
"The atmosphere has become so tense, can't you just cooperate?"
"I can't accept the idea of being crushed to death for the time being. Can't you just come down?" Gu Yangliang said calmly, one thing is one thing.
"Please, this is an unfinished building, and the door on the rooftop has been in disrepair for a long time. In order not to be disturbed, I just closed it and had no intention of coming down again."
Xia Chun said in a relatively light tone, "But even if you refuse, it's useless. As the person who persuaded me to come down, you still have to take responsibility to this extent."
As soon as he finished speaking, he jumped down.
However, it did not hit Gu Yang, but landed on the small piece of ground in front of him. However, the distance was too high, and it was obviously not very stable when it landed. He could not control his strength, and when he staggered forward, he fell to the ground together with Gu Yang.
There was a loud, dull thud, and the moment he fell to the ground, Gu Yang's mind was full of the clothes he had just bought, which were in close contact with the dust on the ground.
Xia Chun fell on top of him, only able to protect the back of his head with his hands.
Looking at Gu Yang's slightly pale face, he raised his eyebrows and said, "Am I that heavy? It's just normal."
"…How tall are you?"
"Well, my height is 179cm, but I report it to others as 180cm. Please keep it a secret for me."
"Then could you give me some idea of your normal weight..."
Observing that there was indeed no exaggeration in Gu Yang's expression, Xia Chun made some distance, but he did not get up. Instead, he rolled to the side and lay side by side with Gu Yang, letting his hair fall into the dust.
"What a clear moon."
Looking at the bright moon in the sky, Xia Chun uttered a meaningless sigh. The moon was reflected in his black eyes, and on his slightly smiling face there was only relief.
"If you really jump down, you will end up upside down and won't be able to see the moon like this."
Gu Yang's eyes were vague. He had no interest in the moon for the time being, but he was the type who would not bother to get up without some external force after falling down.
After Xia Chun finished sighing, he finally saw the dust rising in the moonlight. He stood up, patted his sleeves, and pulled Gu Yang up with him.
"It's been so long, and it seems that no one else comes here." Xia Chun said casually.
"I haven't told anyone else." Gu Yang looked at the dust on his body with disgust, and simply took off his clothes and rolled up the dirty side.
Hearing this, Xia Chun breathed a sigh of relief.
"Thank you, you really helped me a lot."
Now that he has given up, he has to think about the future. The fewer people who know about it, the less trouble he will save.
"It's really hard for you to come to a place like this." Xia Chun didn't have any mysophobia, but she could see that Gu Yang was obviously a spoiled young master.
"Nothing, this is also He Mingan's request."
Xia Chun: "...You really don't seem to care about saying a name that is so important to me."
"But never mind." He had come out of his initial depression a little bit. Now that the man was gone, they no longer had the fearful rejection they had before: "Why would you do this for him?"
"So the person you just mentioned as someone you like is him?" Xia Chun asked tentatively.
The incident in the past left a shadow on both of them. Xia Chun considered herself the instigator and wondered whether that person would resist intimacy from then on and end up living alone.
He hopes that the other person can be happy.
After confusing Xia Chun so many times by himself, it was Gu Yang's turn to have a question mark over his head.
"What? Isn't it?" Xia Chun muttered, pulling the corner of his mouth, "Who else could it be..."
Suddenly, the blurry figure in his mind became clear in a flash.
I almost forgot about it, even though I had seen it several times right before my eyes.
But he didn't continue guessing names, otherwise he would seem like an enthusiastic neighborhood auntie.
"It's getting late now. If we stay in a place like this late, there might be some bad guys hanging around. We should leave now."
Xia Chun said this while looking at the door leading to the outside.
Suddenly, he narrowed his eyes uncertainly, as if he saw something.
The person standing on top hadn't noticed the vague figure standing behind the corner.
There were scattered steel bars on the ground nearby, and he was wondering how something could fall down in a place where there was no one around.
"Who's there?" he shouted coldly, and at the same time stopped Gu Yang, who was still unconscious and unaware of the situation, behind him.
The figure walked out slowly and went to where the moonlight could reach.
Xia Chun opened her eyes slightly. It was someone completely unexpected.
Gu Yang spoke first: "Why are you here?"
Song Yinxing's face appeared particularly clearly in the moonlight.
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