Chapter 31 Dad: A cool and aloof high school boy by day, a grandson by night
I don't know if it was just my imagination, but the leaves of the pothos on the windowsill seemed to twitch twice as if they were chuckling. Then, I turned my gaze and saw that the leaves of the succulents on the plant stand in the bathroom had folded up slightly.
Pei Yiyan's expression went blank for a moment, lost in a daze, unsure of what to say, and asked with a complicated expression:
"Tell me honestly, are they sentient beings?"
Xi Xi looked completely innocent: "No, becoming a spirit isn't that easy." She thought becoming a spirit was as easy as picking up cabbages.
Because the houseplants have absorbed the spiritual energy from the ginseng spirit, they grow more lush and healthier than ordinary flowers and plants. They are at the initial stage of developing spiritual intelligence, which is forty or fifty years before they truly become spirits.
This is under the blessing of Xixi's spiritual energy; if they relied on themselves, it would be virtually impossible.
Pei Yiyan, being a Muggle, was very wary and still had questions: "Then why can they cricket at me? Are all you plants so gossipy?"
Pei Yiyan didn't deliberately explain the meaning of crickets and the Eight Trigrams, but Xixi was intelligent and understood after listening a couple of times.
Xi Xi felt puzzled: "Humans can communicate, so of course we flowers and plants can communicate too. In fact, we flowers and plants also want to chat with people, but people can't understand what we're saying, and they don't like to talk to us."
Before she met the Tree Spirit Father, she encountered many lost humans in Hundred Herbs Mountain. She tried her best to guide them and tell them where to go down the mountain, but unfortunately, no one understood her.
In the end, they could only watch helplessly as they walked further and further away, only to be unlucky enough to be eaten by wild beasts.
Pei Yiyan knew this wasn't the time to be serious, but being meticulous by nature, he couldn't help but say, "No, it's impossible for humans to learn the language of flowers and plants. There's a difference between species. Don't even think about it."
Flowers and plants have neither a vocal system nor flexible limbs, so they can't even communicate with each other.
What's worse than receiving random replies after reading is not receiving any replies after reading.
Xi Xi disagreed: "Who says people can't learn it? They can learn it! Can't Xi Xi learn it?"
"You are a demon."
"Mom and Dad are people, and Xixi is a person too."
Pei Yiyan was speechless and unable to refute.
Xixi smiled brightly, took her father's hand and walked back: "Dad, don't be ashamed, Xixi will teach you to speak Mandarin."
Learn the language of Puyao, and you'll be able to travel the world without fear.
Who's feeling inferior? Pei Yiyan scoffed unappreciatively, "I won't learn."
Why learn this stuff? It's not like you can eat it.
Xi Xi asked in surprise, "Dad, don't you want to get along well with the plants in the house? They're the ones who know your secrets."
"I'd completely forgotten if you hadn't mentioned it." Pei Yiyan looked around. "They can understand me, can't they?"
"able"
"Alright." Pei Yiyan's calm and dignified gaze swept over the potted plants in the house one by one, from the miniature succulents to the slightly larger peace lilies on both sides of the TV. The leaves seemed to stiffen. "If anyone secretly spyes on me or talks about me again, I'll lock them in a dark room and they won't be allowed to get any sun or water for three days."
It's okay to not drink water for three days, but if you can't photosynthesize, then the sky is falling. What a ruthless person.
Strike at the snake's vital spot; Pei Yiyan's move effectively got the talkative flowers and plants under control.
Xi Xi saw the succulents, which were usually the most active, trembling and shrinking into a ball, while other flowers and plants also curled up their leaves without any wind.
The little girl was heartbroken: "Daddy, don't scare them. They're very timid. What if they lose their souls in fright and have to come back together?"
After saying that, she went to each of them and chattered away, then gently stroked their leaves and flowers.
This scene looks just like a baby comforting an even younger baby.
Pei Yiyan snorted, took a can of beer from the refrigerator, opened the can and chugged it down. The cold beer dispelled most of his irritability.
As soon as I lowered my head, I met a pair of big, round, and straight eyes.
The child didn't say anything, but his face clearly said two words: He wanted to drink.
Pei Yiyan: "No."
"Dad," the child called softly.
"Calling me grandpa won't help."
If it were any other food, Pei Yiyan might grit his teeth and break his principles to let her have a small taste, but alcohol was absolutely out of the question. He vaguely remembered seeing a news report about a child who ended up in the ICU after drinking alcohol, and no one with a sound mind would risk their own child's life.
When her demands were not met, Xixi didn't cry or make a fuss. Instead, she sullenly let go of the plant, ran to the potted plant, shook her head, sighed, and muttered to herself.
At first, Pei Yiyan didn't care, thinking that his daughter had a few more special playmates. But gradually, the little girl seemed to think that since the secret had been discovered, she was becoming more and more open and honest, and had a tendency to give up.
Every morning and evening, she would run to the flowers and plants and mutter to herself for most of the day, no longer bothering Pei Yiyan to play.
The elderly father felt a pang of sadness at being neglected by his daughter.
As time went on, the nanny, Aunt Liu, also sensed something was wrong. Why was the little girl always talking to herself and giggling to herself?
She wondered anxiously if there were any unseen evil spirits in the house.
One day, Aunt Liu came to work and took out two red ropes and a bunch of mugwort from her bag. She solemnly put them on the wrists of the father and daughter, and then inserted the mugwort into the cracks of each door.
Then, under the gazes of one large and one small, she took out a hand drum, waist bells, and a red cloth, and suddenly began to dance and sing loudly.
Pei Yiyan was so startled he almost fell backwards; it was a shamanistic ritual!
Aunt Liu can do this too?
Xi Xi, still a little confused, clapped her hands excitedly: "Aunt Liu danced so well! And sang so well too!"
The child couldn't understand the shamanistic ritual, but he knew Aunt Liu was dancing. Her dancing was strange and lacked any aesthetic appeal, but her courage was commendable. And considering her age, it must have been incredibly difficult for her to sing and dance.
Of course, the enthusiastic little monster would go out of his way to support it.
Pei Yiyan knew that Aunt Liu had misunderstood, and misunderstood a lot, so he braced himself and persuaded her to come down, and made up a lie to get by.
That very night, Pei Yiyan had a heart-to-heart talk with Xixi, asking her what she really wanted and whether she was harboring some bad intentions.
Just as her father had predicted, Xi Xi revealed her true colors, raising her little face proudly: "Daddy, learn the local dialect from Xi Xi."
Pei Yiyan couldn't understand why the little girl was so persistent. Would learning it win her an award or a permanent position?
Of course, Xixi wouldn't admit that she wanted to be her father's little teacher and then make all sorts of little requests of him. Instead, she said in a muffled voice:
“Xixi can speak both human and demon languages, but Daddy can only speak human languages. This is not fair. The demons outside will think that Xixi was not born from Daddy. Wouldn’t that be very embarrassing?”
Pei Yiyan is gentle with others but not with force, but he has no taboos with Xixi and will respond to both.
But there was something he didn't know whether he should say or not.
To be honest, Bie Yao wasn't wrong; he really couldn't give birth to Xi Xi.
From a human perspective, he is male; from a plant perspective, he is male, so no matter what, he could never produce a small ginseng plant.
"Alright, I'll learn." Pei Yiyan gave up. "Let's begin."
"good!"
Pei Yiyan didn't take the so-called language learning to heart. The little girl couldn't even speak human language properly, so how could her dialect be fluent? He'd just try to fool her and appease her.
Reality slapped him hard in the face; the tale actually contained a systematic text.
He thought that the rumors were like those of some small countries that only had a language but no written script, and relied entirely on oral transmission. Pei Yiyan stared blankly at the row of strange symbols on the paper.
"Dad, let's start learning from one, two, three, four!"
Pei Yiyan tactfully took a sip of water: "Xixi, are these characters 'demon' characters? Or did you just make them up?"
Xi Xi glared at him as if she had been offended: "These are all things that Father Tree Spirit taught Xi Xi. Xi Xi has been learning them for three hundred years."
Pei Yiyan hesitated for a moment: "Didn't you only transform into human form a few months ago?"
"Xixi has a beard!"
In the blink of an eye, the human cub before them transformed into a plump ginseng root covered in tendrils. Each tendril floated in mid-air like a chaotic dance of demons, each with its own thoughts.
The little ginseng spirit is actively proving that its tendrils are more flexible than its fingers, making writing a mere matter a breeze!
Pei Yiyan understood. In other words, this little girl's speed in copying punishments would be unmatched by anyone else, and any form of punishment would fall under her control.
Tsk, little monster, terrifying indeed.
From then on, Pei Yiyan acted like a cool and arrogant male high school student during the day and like a subservient grandson at night.
Xixi held a tablet, her little face serious, perfectly embodying the demeanor of a little teacher.
"Dad, you misread it again."
"Were you not paying attention in class?"
"If you don't behave well, I won't be giving you a little red flower today."
The little girl, without any instruction, used the little red flower that her kindergarten teacher had given her as a reward to motivate her father, who then followed in his footsteps.
Whenever this happens, the potted plants in the house will tremble and their branches will shake.
Pei Yiyan's face was dark and sour. He glared at everyone and threatened to lock anyone who laughed in the dark room.
Potted plants:
Photosynthesis is carried out in large quantities.
Pei Yiyan studied Chinese, math, and English during the day and the demon language at night. He was forced to learn to box by the trilled sounds in the demon language. You could tell from his blank face that he had no will to live.
The teacher, who was strict about studying, made the poor student Pei Yiyan practice writing the character "妖" (yao) during his self-study period, filling an A4-sized draft paper to the brim.
His diligent and conscientious manner was so eye-catching that more and more attention was drawn to him.
Everyone witnessed Pei Yiyan climb from the bottom five in the class to the top ten, his strength is undeniable and not to be underestimated, so everyone wanted to learn from him.
Because of the stereotypes he gave people, no one dared to strike up a conversation with him.
Qiu Ming is not among these people.
During a break when no teacher was watching, Qiu Ming swaggered over to Pei Yiyan's desk, dragged over a chair, and sat down, much to everyone's astonishment.
Pei Yiyan wrote a whole page of scribbles, a mess of characters that were completely incomprehensible yet inexplicably profound.
"Brother Yan?"
A strange scream that was hard to tell whether it was excitement or shock.
Are you learning how to catch ghosts?
Pei Yiyan's hand slipped, leaving a long trail on the paper:
He raised his eyes coolly.
Qiu Ming fell silent, filled with awe. He hadn't expected Yan Ge to be so learned and talented, mastering both science and metaphysics. He thought, "If I cling to Yan Ge's coattails, I'll have a permanent position after I go down to the countryside."
The character "妖" (yāo) was more unique than any other character Pei Yiyan had ever seen. It was long and thin, composed of many lines and petals, but fortunately it was short and easy to remember, like a simple drawing in kindergarten.
Pei Yiyan's final year of high school was incredibly intense. A month before the college entrance exam, he mastered the Puyao language.
Humans who master the language of the demons are essentially given a special talent, and from then on, they can hear the voices of all the flowers, plants, and trees in the world.
The house became lively and bustling. Before, there was only one demon talking in the house, but now there are demons everywhere except in the toilet.
[Please stop watering! It's so cold! Luo Luo is going to get sick, boohoo.]
Pei Yiyan, who was focused on doing his homework, looked up and said, "Aunt Liu, that potted green plant doesn't need watering anymore, it's cold."
Aunt Liu: "?"
Hey, spider plants have had enough sun! Come on, bring us inside, our leaves are all warm and plump.
Pei Yiyan: "Aunt Liu, the spider plant is hot, please bring it back inside."
Aunt Liu: "Okay."
[Waaaaah! There's a fight downstairs! Someone, open the window right now, Xiuqiu can't hear us!]
Pei Yiyan rolled her eyes: "If you can't hear me, then don't listen. Don't make a fuss."
Aunt Liu looked around in terror.
[People, we need to listen to that thump-thump song! It feels like the branches and leaves have all grown back!]
Pei Yiyan: "%#￥?" Which song?
It's that one, "Loving You Alone in the Dark Alley."
Don't listen to this when it comes to succulents, listen to their bottoms and push hard.
[Hey, your succulents have such vulgar taste! People, don't listen to them, listen to us lucky red ones, we want to listen to Canon!]
Pei Yiyan: "Xiao Ai, play 'My Chinese Heart'."
Dear grasses: 【】
After a while, Pei Yiyan seemed to suddenly become curious and glanced sideways at Xixi who was drawing: "What song is the succulent talking about with its butt?"
"Xixi doesn't know."
"Succulents, you tell me."
The succulent family: [Mmm, mmm, bulging belly, time to poop! Push with your butt, poop! Plop plop plop!]
The soft, adorable voices of the young boys converged into a grand chorus, some high-pitched, some low-pitched, each following its own tune, yet their pronunciation was exceptionally clear and resonant, each note pleasing to the ear.
Pei Yiyan, as if struck on the head: Grass, a type of plant.
Xi Xi's eyes lit up as if she had heard heavenly music: "Xi Xi wants to learn, Xi Xi wants to learn!"
Pei Yiyan snapped to attention: "What are you going to learn? Dad won't allow it!"
"We must learn!"
"No way! If you dare to do that, I'll cut off your yogurt!"
"Dad is unreasonable."
"Heh, say whatever you want, but you're not allowed to."
The clueless succulent family: [Hey, can you let us back into your old room if you're constipated? We can sing "Push Your Butt" to cheer you on! ヾ]
The original room and toilet.
Pei Yiyan's expression was somewhat distorted, looking like he was about to faint from anger. He gritted his teeth speechlessly and said, "You like to sing, huh? Fine, sing it five hundred times in the dark room, and you can come out when you're done!"
Succulent family: We're going to get hot!!
Pei Yiyan single-handedly suppressed the little monsters and tiny monsters, shattering the evil succulent choir's song.
After his investigation, he discovered that the downstairs neighbor's child would sing a song whenever she had free time. During the day, when the father and daughter were not home, the window happened to be unlocked, and the "Pooping Song" entered the ears of the succulents in such a lively way that it was very popular with the succulent family.
Pei Yiyan had never felt the world was so vibrant. Passing by the school's flowerbeds, he could hear the delicate flowers exchanging insults with each other. They looked like they had been copied and pasted together, arguing every day about whose petals had more dew, whose petals were redder, or whose were more tender.
Every day on my way to early morning reading, I can hear Zuanhua, who lost the argument, crying loudly, her little flower shaking like a tiny electric motor.
One day, the indifferent boy carrying a schoolbag stopped, took out a small spray bottle from his bag, and watered each Zuan flower evenly with the same technique as spraying pesticides.
The sobbing Zuan flower: 0.0
"Ah, this flower has the most dew!"
"Silly flower, that's not dew, it's water from a human's bottle, it's so good!"
"Hmph (sigh) You're useless (sigh), you'll be picked by humans sooner or later!"
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