Chapter 39
Like the footage captured by a malfunctioning camera lens, the world gradually revealed its true form after several flashes of light and shadow.
When Yan Qing regained consciousness, she was shocked to find herself being carried horizontally in someone's arms. She struggled to overcome the feeling of being suspended in mid-air and focused her vision, whereupon a familiar face came into view.
She then discovered that one of her arms was somehow wrapped around his neck, and his handsome, masculine chin was very close to hers, almost brushing against her cheek.
She shifted nervously, then realized they had entered his office. She was gently placed on the sofa.
She was thirsty, her throat was dry from her tongue to the back of her throat. She tried to sit up, but she still had no strength.
He whispered, "Lie down properly."
The office door opened and closed, and when Shen Hanyang returned, he had two fist-sized oranges in his hand. He quickly peeled them and broke them into small segments: "These are all I have, eat some first."
Yan Qing saw the orange as if it were a lifesaver: "Thank you."
He bypassed her outstretched hand and directly placed it to her lips.
Yan Qing was stunned, lowered her eyes, and after a long while said, "I thought we had already made things clear."
“I thought so too,” Shen Hanyang stared intently at her, “but it’s easier said than done.”
Yan Qing paused, letting her irregular heartbeat from the low blood sugar regain its rhythm, then gently pushed his hand away: "Actually, you didn't have to do this at all." She slowly sat up. "I'm not trying to boast, but I care about Jiaming just as much as you do. I'm willing to be his best friend forever. I promise, I'll always be there for Jiaming whenever he needs me."
Shen Hanyang was puzzled, not understanding her intention in suddenly bringing up Cheng Jiaming. He pondered her words, his analytical gaze lingering on her face. The expression in her eyes was neither defiant nor obsequious. It was as if she had completely abandoned her prejudices and was willing to coexist peacefully with him.
Shen Hanyang was briefly distracted when Secretary Zhao knocked on the door: "Mr. Shen, shall we begin the meeting?"
Shen Hanyang hummed in agreement: "I'm coming."
He placed the peeled orange in her hand: "Don't rush off, get some rest."
After Shen Hanyang left, Yan Qing took a bite of an orange, and the sweet juice relieved her feeling of weakness.
When Secretary Gao came in, Yan Qing was sitting on the sofa, holding half a half-eaten orange in her hand.
Secretary Gao looked down at her condescendingly and asked in a curt tone, "Is it done?"
Yan Qing quickly swallowed the orange in her mouth: "I'm sorry to have caused you trouble."
"Did you tell President Shen about asking you to help set up the meeting room at noon?" Secretary Gao asked, as if interrogating him.
Yan Qing quickly shook her head: "No."
Secretary Gao scoffed, "Can't you just do this little thing properly? You have to make a fuss. If word gets out, people will think you've done a huge favor."
Yan Qing frowned.
Secretary Gao continued muttering, "You really know how to pick your moments. The moment you close your eyes, the meeting is delayed by twenty minutes. You weren't this fragile when you were practicing yoga."
Yan Qing almost blurted out a rebuttal, but reason extinguished her impulse in time. Compared to the compensation offered to the research group by Huanyu Technology, this grievance was insignificant. She represented not only herself, but also Professor Huang, and the seven or eight eagerly awaiting mentors surrounding him.
"Alright, you can leave now! President Shen asked me to inform you that you don't need to come in this afternoon."
"Secretary Gao, I'm fine..."
Secretary Gao raised her hand, clearly not wanting to listen: "Don't tell me anything, tell President Chen. I can't afford to serve you." Seeing Yan Qing didn't move, she glanced at her: "Aren't you leaving?"
Yan Qing didn't explain anything further and got up to leave.
Having an extra afternoon off, Yan Qing bought some delicious food and went to visit Qiao Yi.
Just as I stepped outside the hospital, Shen Hanyang called.
"Are you feeling better?" he asked in a low voice.
Yan Qing replied, "Much better, thank you."
Shen Hanyang said something else, but it was very noisy around Yan Qing—there were voices, horns blaring from the street, and the hospital's loudspeaker continuously broadcasting: "S City First Hospital is a smoke-free hospital. For the health of you and your family, please consciously abide by..."
Yan Qing couldn't hear the voice on the other end clearly, and asked several times, "What?"
Shen Hanyang hung up the phone.
Yan Qing didn't pay much attention and carried the still-warm shumai towards the inpatient department.
In the VIP ward, Qiao Yi leaned against the headboard, his ashen face devoid of any spirit.
The computer screen was lit up, displaying a new chapter of his novel that he had only edited halfway through.
Yan Qing got some water and urged him to wash his face, then tidied up the books that were scattered everywhere.
"Girl, sit down for a while," Qiao Yi said.
Yan Qing was busy, and her gaze rarely lingered on Qiao Yi: "You can talk, I can hear you."
Qiao Yi remained silent, seemingly waiting patiently.
After tidying up the bathroom, desk, and bedside table, Yan Qing pulled up a chair and sat down on the edge of the bed.
“Girl…” Qiao Yi hesitated, unable to finish his sentence.
"Stop." Yan Qing interrupted him first. "Just say what you want to say, don't look so gloomy."
"No way, look how cheerful I am." Qiao Yi raised an eyebrow and forced a smile that looked more like a grimace.
“A monster…” Yan Qing chuckled. “Speak.”
"It's nothing, it's just that it's been a long time since we've sat down and chatted like this."
Yan Qing suddenly remembered something, got up and put the shumai she had brought into the microwave, then sat back down: "Didn't we used to chat like this all the time?"
“Before…” Qiao Yi looked up at the ceiling opposite him, savoring those two words, “That was a really, really long time ago. I can’t remember anything about what it was like before I got sick. Oh no, I can remember some fragments, like arguing with my mom over trivial things, feeling sorry for myself because my family went bankrupt, and feeling utterly hopeless because I didn’t do well on my college entrance exams…” Qiao Yi sighed softly, “Now that I think about it, what did all that matter? Good health is the greatest fortune. Apart from that, nothing, no one, is worth getting upset about.”
He glanced at Yan Qing, who remained silent to the side, and suddenly said in a relaxed tone: "The shumai only needs to be simmered for 30 seconds, any longer and the dough will be too dry."
Yan Qing got up, placed the scalding hot shumai on a plate, and brought it over.
Qiao Yi took a big bite, the aroma of lard filling his mouth. He said contentedly, "To have such rich and delicious food, I have no regrets in this life." Then, his tone changed, "There are only two things I can't let go of. First, I need to give the novel 'Your Highness Qin' an ending, to give the readers an explanation. Second, your marriage."
Yan Qing took out an apple and peeled it: "Indeed, these are two extremely important things. Unfortunately, I can't help you with the ending of the novel, and you can't help me with my life's big event. Let's both think more positively, take care of ourselves, and worry less about each other."
Qiao Yi pursed his lips: "Girl, don't say things out of spite. That day will come eventually. You can run away from it for a while, but you can't run away from it forever."
Yan Qing lowered her head and fiercely peeled the apple: "If you have time to think about this, you should focus on developing your novel. Otherwise, you won't be able to update a single chapter for several days."
Qiao Yi gave a bitter smile: "I was just saying. Compared to your future, what's a novel nobody reads?" He sighed, "I know your troubles, poor child, all alone in this world, with no one to rely on, and that scumbag Feng Xin still eyeing you, extorting and harassing you every few days. Although our home can't provide you with protection, at least it's a place for you to stay. With a home, a person has something to rely on, and isn't a rootless duckweed. I know all of this. How I wish I could stay with you for a few more years, to see you find happiness..."
Yan Qing slowed her movements, a surge of heat rising from her eyes. She lowered her head, a tear falling onto the suspended blade.
“But your brother is useless,” Qiao Yi said sadly. “I can’t protect you, I can’t take care of you, and I’ve become a burden to you. Every winter and summer vacation, while other students happily go home, you almost never come back to work and earn money. The school dormitory has no air conditioning in the summer and no heating in the winter. You work hard outside all day and return to the dormitory alone at night, unable to afford a decent meal. All the money you save goes into this bottomless pit of mine… Over the years, this family has suffered greatly.”
Qiao Yi took a deep breath, forcing back the trembling in his throat.
“Girl, I’m no longer worth your worry and effort. In a few days, I’ll close my eyes and let go of everything, oblivious and carefree. And you… you’ll be alone from now on. You need to think more about yourself, don’t shut yourself off anymore. I don’t want to leave with regrets…”
Yan Qing laughed: "You make me sound so pitiful. If you're worried, why don't you take me with you? Or, after I send you away, I'll go to Yunnan, drink a bowl of poisonous mushroom soup, the kind that makes you hallucinate, forget the suffering of this world, and die in bliss?"
"What do you know about bliss at such a young age!" Qiao Yi was a little annoyed by her frivolous joke.
"I was just trying to annoy you, and you actually took it seriously!" Yan Qing stopped peeling the apple, flicked her hair with her wrist, and said nonchalantly, "I have plenty of rich and handsome guys chasing after me. See that CEO Shen? He's determined to marry no one but me."
Qiao Yi looked at her with a worried expression, but his tone was firm and resolute: "You told me that he has a son. Our Qingqing will not become a stepmother to someone else, and I will not allow you to do so either. No matter how rich the other person is, how much he likes you, or how good he is to you, it is not allowed."
"I was just trying to annoy you, you're so naive, you always fall for my tricks!" Yan Qing smiled and said earnestly, "Don't worry, you'll have your own bread and a place to belong. I'm not so hopeless as to give up on myself yet; I still want a daughter in the future!"
Hearing her say that, Qiao Yi's expression relaxed a bit, and he even joked, "My daughter is good, just like you, smart, gentle, and beautiful. If I'm quick, I might be able to be reincarnated into your family."
Yan Qing's hand trembled, and her index finger was cut by the fruit knife.
Qiao Yi slapped his own mouth: "That cheeky mouth of yours! Oh no, it's bleeding!"
Yan Qing placed a napkin on the bedside table and put the apple on it: "It's okay, I'll ask the nurse for a band-aid."
Before she got up, a figure flashed past the doorway. She assumed it was just a passerby and didn't pay much attention.
After simply bandaging her wound with a band-aid, Yan Qing didn't return to the ward but went for a walk in the garden downstairs alone.
After the rain, the sky was clear and bright. Looking into the distance, colorful clouds, illuminated by the sunset, nestled between the tall buildings. She thought, if this weren't a hospital, if Qiao Yi hadn't been strangled by illness, she would have lingered a little longer to admire this beautiful sky with a completely different mindset.
She leaned quietly against the pavilion, touching the red string lucky charm bracelet on her wrist. Jiang Xiaoman stood in front of her once again.
She once told Yan Qing that there are three gates in the world.
The first stage is the birth canal. A fully developed fetus, nurtured in the uterus, endures countless hardships and dangers through the narrow birth canal in just a few hours to be born. Before passing through the birth canal, it is a fetus; only after crossing the birth canal does it become a human being.
The second level is the precepts. Wine, women, wealth, and power corrupt and degenerate people, yet they are precisely the pinnacle that most people pursue throughout their lives. Fame, fortune, pleasure, and indulgence—heaven has cast bait for the world, enticing countless people to follow one after another, willingly becoming prisoners, and imprisoning themselves within the precepts for their entire lives.
The third level is the Gate of Death. This is a gate that truly discriminates against everyone, regardless of whether they are kings, generals, beggars, or slaves. The Gate of Death is open to everyone equally, and it is the ultimate test that no one can escape. Once you pass through the Gate of Death, all the loves, hates, and great achievements of your life are wiped out, turning into dust, becoming rain or clouds, disappearing into the vastness of the world.
Jiang Xiaoman told her, "Qingqing, you must be like Sun Wukong, transcending the Three Realms and the Five Elements. Don't be imprisoned by these three gates. Remember, this world has set many traps for you, but there's nothing to fear, and nothing is absolutely necessary. By ignoring them, you can break through. The world is vast, but your heart is even vaster. Freedom is your only destination. Reach freedom, and you will reach eternal peace."
That day, after saying those words, Jiang Xiaoman went out and didn't come back until very late.
When Yan Qing saw her again, she lay naked in the cold morgue. Qiao Yi couldn't make it; he fainted upon receiving the news. Yan Qing quietly gazed at Jiang Xiaoman's remains. Her eyes were closed, her lips were blue as if frozen, yet her expression was calm and serene. Yan Qing knew that Jiang Xiaoman had crossed the final threshold. And the gesture of her turning back to smile at her and brushing her sleeve before leaving was forever etched in her heart.
Yan Qing's eyes stung with tears. She clenched her fists and gently massaged her eyes and brows in circular motions.
"She cried."
A deep, gentle voice shattered her fragile memories. She panicked, but didn't have time to wipe away the tears on her face.
Shen Hanyang handed over a tissue.
"Thank you. What brings you here?"
He casually leaned against the stone railing next to her, gazing at the distant sky she had just been looking at.
"Visiting a friend." He glanced at her. Her pale face was hastily wiped with a tissue, and tears still clung to her eyelashes.
"Qiao Yi..." he said two words, but didn't continue.
Yan Qing relaxed her tense vocal cords, but her throat was still tight: "Thank you for everything you've done for Qiao Yi. I'll work hard to earn money after graduation and pay back what I owe you as soon as possible..."
Shen Hanyang frowned: "Is this what you wanted to say?"
She didn't answer, but subconsciously fiddled with the tassels hanging on the canvas bag.
Shen Hanyang noticed her movements and asked, "When are you planning to get married?" He didn't know why he asked that question; prying into other people's privacy was not his style at all.
Yan Qing's eyelashes fluttered, and a fleeting, emotionless glance landed lightly on his face like a butterfly.
"It depends." A response that wasn't really an answer.
If Shen Hanyang hadn't reminded her, Yan Qing would have almost forgotten that she witnessed that scene right under this pavilion that day. But strangely, seeing Zhuge Xiaoxiang and Hu Ruoting kissing, she acted like a complete stranger, unmoved by anything, and even inexplicably felt a sense of relief.
Shen Hanyang stopped talking, and the two remained silent. The sun gradually set, and he hung up on several of Ren Ruiyun's phone calls.
The repeated vibrations of her phone caught Yan Qing's attention. She asked, "Is someone looking for you?"
Shen Hanyang glanced at WeChat and saw a message from Ren Ruiyun: "Let's talk about that matter today."
He put away his phone and stood up: "Okay, I'm leaving now."
He took two steps, stopped, turned around and said, "You should come to the company celebration tomorrow."
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