Chapter 47
He couldn't help but reach out to wipe away her tears. She avoided his hand and turned to look out the window.
"Kindness, abuse, resistance, revenge..." she murmured, "What a long record of gratitude and vengeance..." A bleak smile appeared on her tear-streaked face. She raised the back of her hand and wiped her face, erasing the vulnerability that was about to be exposed.
"Perhaps through your investigation you have already gained a general understanding of me, but many details are only known to those directly involved. Let me tell you about them, would you like to hear them?"
He blurted out almost without hesitation, "I want to hear it." In his excitement, he placed his hand on the back of hers. Her gaze swept over him gently, and he paused, involuntarily taking a small step back.
Yan Qing turned back to the window. The torrential rain blurred the glass and reality itself. Invisibly, time and space overlapped and compressed, and the tumultuous waves of the past twenty-seven years surged into the small carriage at the same moment, crashing against her once more. In those rolling waves, she saw many faces: Feng Fanying, Jiang Xiaoman, Qiao Yi, Feng Xin… floating and sinking, living and dying.
“My mother died the summer I was five years old, by jumping into a reservoir. It seems like all the stories started from that time.” She chuckled self-deprecatingly. “To be precise, I have almost no memory of anything before I was five. Even my mother’s appearance is only vaguely remembered from the few photos she left behind. My mother’s death was like a watershed moment. Overnight, I went from someone who knew nothing to someone who was sharp and perceptive. It was probably because I was all alone in the world, and it was too quiet. Extreme quietness can easily cultivate keen senses. At that time, I had no relatives left, only a nominal uncle, Feng Xin. He was adopted by my maternal grandparents and had no blood relation with me. The village officials approached him to inquire about his willingness to adopt me. He was afraid of being burdened by me and avoided me like the plague. I was fortunate in this situation, as I avoided him for a few days. Later, I was about to be sent to an orphanage, and Aunt Jiang Xiaoman—who is Qiao Yi’s mother—appeared in my life at this time.”
When Jiang Xiaoman was mentioned, a tenderness appeared on Yan Qing's face that even Shen Hanyang had never seen before.
That day, little Yan Qing hid in the empty house. This dilapidated, poorly maintained brick house was left by Yan Qing's maternal grandparents. After the two elderly people passed away, Feng Fanying lived there with Yan Qing. Later, Feng Fanying also died, and Yan Qing was left alone in the room. There was no electricity in the room, and the two small windows with their hinges rusted shut allowed very little light in, making the house pitch black even in broad daylight.
Yan Qing clearly remembered that it was in this dusty, cobweb-covered, and rarely visited room that a long, thin "creak" suddenly came from the dead silence.
The door opened, and sunlight flooded in like a bright tide, making her squint. As her eyes gradually adjusted, two figures became clearly visible in her dark, fearful gaze. One was a village women's federation cadre, and the other was Jiang Xiaoman. At the time, she didn't know that Jiang Xiaoman had learned about Mengshui Village through a friend at a charity organization and had come specifically to investigate, wanting to do some good deeds.
Jiang Xiaoman was very thin, wearing a dress that Yan Qing had never seen among the women in the village—it was so light and flowing. But Jiang Xiaoman herself didn't appear frail at all. Just as she entered, a mouse scurried by. She shouted, "Catch the mouse!" and picked up a stone, throwing it at the mouse. However, her aim was slightly off, and the mouse escaped. She sighed, "I used to practice shot put when I was young, alas, my skills aren't what they used to be."
Yan Qing hugged her knees, sat on the floor against the dirty stove, and watched this scene in a daze.
Jiang Xiaoman squatted down and beckoned to her, saying, "Xiaobao, come here."
This was the gentlest and most loving voice Yan Qing had ever heard in her memory, so much so that her thoughts were in disarray. After a long pause, she softly called out, "Mom?"
Jiang Xiaoman hugged Yan Qing and cried. She made a snap decision to sponsor this pitiful, destitute girl. After returning to the city, Jiang Xiaoman entrusted local village officials to send her a large sum of money for living expenses. Seeing that Yan Qing was dressed in tattered clothes, with a large head and a small body, clearly malnourished, she also sent her new clothes, new shoes, milk powder, fish oil, calcium tablets, and beef jerky.
It seems that heaven has finally shown its mercy, and Jiang Xiaoman has become an unexpected ray of light in Yan Qing's tragic life.
From this point on, things began to develop in two extreme directions. Feng Xin suddenly had a change of heart and proposed to adopt Yan Qing, with a very good reason: "I am her only family."
Well, people around us say it's better than going to an orphanage, and no one can refuse.
Feng Xin thus took over Yan Qing's position, and at the same time, took over all the valuables that Jiang Xiaoman had sent. He pocketed the money, the nutritional supplements all went into his son Feng Yiming's stomach, and the new clothes and shoes were taken by Meng Xianglan to give to her sister's daughter.
颜清再也不是累赘和麻烦了，她简直是棵摇钱树。冯鑫和孟香兰时常感叹收养颜清这一决定相当英明。这个身体还没长开的、豆芽菜一样的女孩，不但可充当一个完整的劳动力，烧饭洗衣打扫卫生倒马桶，还能当全家的出气筒。谁不痛快了都可以骂她发泄，动手也是常有的事。他们那个被养得满身肥膘、懒惰蠢笨的儿子冯一鸣，稍有不顺心就对颜清拳打脚踢。一家三口里，冯鑫打她打得最频繁。他爱喝酒，喝醉了就发疯，借着酒劲不管不顾地打。有一次他打红了眼，徒手揍颜清还不过瘾，从水桶里捞出浸湿了的麻绳，对着她猛抽。蘸了水的麻绳，又沉又重，打在身上活像铁鞭。 Yan Qing was barely clinging to life when she instinctively cried out, "Grandma, help me..." This cry of "Grandma" enraged Feng Xin, who began to jerk even harder, gritting his teeth as he said, "Mom, I'm suffering! Mom, please protect me!" If Meng Xianglan hadn't stopped him at the last moment, Yan Qing would have died on the spot.
Yan Qing couldn't remember how long she had been lying in bed. She hoped that a teacher from the school would come and ask about the situation and discover her predicament. But no one did. On the very day she was beaten, Meng Xianglan had already asked the school for sick leave.
After finishing junior high school, the nine years of compulsory education came to an end. Feng Xin cried to Jiang Xiaoman, saying he couldn't afford to send her to high school. Without hesitation, Jiang Xiaoman transferred a sum of money. Yan Qing guessed that the money far exceeded the tuition and fees, because not long after Jiang Xiaoman sent the money, she discovered that Feng Xin had bought herself a motorcycle, Meng Xianglan had bought two gold bracelets, and Feng Yiming had changed into a Nike outfit. The three of them paraded around the village every day. Only Yan Qing was still wearing the most tattered clothes and living a life of hunger.
One day, as she was carrying sunflower heads she had picked in the threshing ground, Meng Xianglan suddenly grabbed her, dragged her into the kitchen, and forced her to sit next to the wooden tub usually used for washing clothes. Hot water was already boiling in the large iron pot on the stove, and a new set of clothes lay on a stool nearby. Meng Xianglan, seemingly seething with anger, kicked her and cursed, "You wretched thing! Wash off those lice right now! Smell your filthy clothes! Wash yourself clean and change!" Before leaving, Meng Xianglan twisted her ear and warned, "Shut your mouth later, or I'll slap you to death!"
Normally, she was not allowed to take hot showers at home, as Meng Xianglan felt it was a waste of firewood and water; she could only wipe herself with cold water.
At this moment, Yan Qing didn't want to analyze why Meng Xianglan was suddenly acting strangely; her biggest wish was to take a hot bath. She picked up a ladle, filled a bucket with hot water, and took a long, refreshing bath.
After taking a bath and changing his clothes, he was pushed into the main room by Meng Xianglan.
There, Jiang Xiaoman was chatting with Feng Xin. That day, Jiang Xiaoman wore a light purple dress and light makeup, looking elegant and refined. Upon seeing Yan Qing, she immediately stopped talking to Feng Xin and walked towards her: "Xiao Bao has grown taller." Then she frowned: "Why is she still so thin?" Meng Xianglan, standing to the side, chuckled sheepishly: "This child runs around outside all day and doesn't eat properly. I always tell her that she needs to eat to grow. Sigh, I can't reason with her; she has her own ideas!"
Jiang Xiaoman smiled: "Auntie is going to Taiwan in a few days and will bring you some chicken essence from there to help you recover. Is there anything else you want, Xiaobao?"
Upon hearing that Jiang Xiaoman was going to Taiwan, Feng Xin and Meng Xianglan's eyes lit up, immediately calculating how much they could gain from it. Only Yan Qing, upon hearing the long-lost "Xiao Bao," felt a lump in her throat. She struggled to hold back her tears, not letting herself give herself away.
At this moment, she noticed that there was a boy sitting next to Jiang Xiaoman, playing a video game with his head down.
That was the first time she met Qiao Yi. At that time, Qiao Yi was just a teenager, with the round and slightly chubby appearance typical of that age. His upright and peaceful face showed little resemblance to Jiang Xiaoman.
The clueless Yan Qing was nudged by Meng Xianglan before he finally brought over a plate of raw cucumbers.
"Would you like some cucumber?" she asked shyly and awkwardly.
Qiao Yi was engrossed in the game and had no time to spare. He said uninterestedly, "I'm not eating."
Jiang Xiaoman tapped her son on the head: "These are all natural and harmless, you don't know their value!" Then she picked one up and started eating it: "It's crisp and sweet, son, you should try it!"
Qiao Yi glanced at the cucumber, then looked up at Yan Qing, who was holding it, and muttered, "It's not clean, there's still mud on it." Yan Qing felt a chill, unsure whether he was referring to the cucumber or herself.
My first impression of Qiao Yi was that he was a young master who was not easy to get along with.
Before Yan Qing started school, Jiang Xiaoman brought Qiao Yi to visit again. This time, besides bringing money for her to improve her health, she also brought a gift—a laptop. Yan Qing was stunned.
Feng Xin and Meng Xianglan couldn't stop smiling. They quickly took the bag from Qiao Yi's hands, as if afraid he might change his mind at the last minute. They pretended to say, "Let me help Xiao Qiao carry it. Oh, it's quite heavy!"
Jiang Xiaoman stroked Yan Qing's head and said softly, "You can use the computer now, but don't play games. You can't let it interfere with your studies, okay?"
As Jiang Xiaoman said this, Yan Qing saw Feng Yiming hiding behind Meng Xianglan and laughing, revealing a chipped half-tooth between his greasy, thick lips.
Feng Xin pretended to invite Jiang Xiaoman and her son to dinner, but Jiang Xiaoman smiled and said that her son was a picky eater and wanted to eat junk food before saying goodbye.
Watching their retreating figures, Yan Qing, emboldened by some unknown source of courage, suddenly snatched the computer from Meng Xianglan's arms and hurried after them.
She tilted her head back, her eyes red: "Auntie, I don't need the computer. Please take it back for my brother Qiao Yi to use."
Jiang Xiaoman was taken aback at first, then burst into laughter: "This is for Qingqing, Qingqing can keep it."
Qiao Yi laughed too: "Mom, why is this little girl so silly? I have a computer, much better than yours. Don't be shy, take it and use it, it'll be enough for your studies."
Yan Qing bit her lip tightly, tears welling up in her eyes. But they couldn't understand the meaning in her eyes; they simply smiled and said goodbye.
Behind Yan Qing, Meng Xianglan had an awkward smile on her face. After Jiang Xiaoman walked away, that stiff smile turned into a chilling and sinister one.
Yan Qing was given a severe beating.
Qiao Yi's aloof persona didn't last long; Yan Qing quickly discovered he was quite approachable. She didn't need to carefully maintain a humble demeanor, and Qiao Yi didn't show the slightest contempt because of their different statuses. They even occasionally spoke on the phone.
Over the phone, Yan Qing repeatedly thanked Jiang Xiaoman for giving her the computer, saying "thank you" countless times. Qiao Yi, however, changed the subject, saying, "I don't eat dinner now, just a cucumber, to lose weight. I'm starving, but I've definitely lost weight. With your willpower, what can't you do?..." At the end, he awkwardly added, "Your cucumbers are quite sweet, bring me more next time."
Qiao Yi had no idea that the laptop he helped Yan Qing choose had already been taken over by Feng Yiming, who played games in his room day and night. Because the home internet was poor, Feng Yiming had a huge fight with Feng Xin and Meng Xianglan in order to get internet access for his games. Feng Xin then went to Jiang Xiaoman to play the victim, saying that they didn't have internet at home and Yan Qing couldn't even search for study materials online. Jiang Xiaoman immediately paid for internet access for their family.
Yan Qing continued to struggle through life, barely scraping together enough for tuition and enough to feed her growing belly that was easily deflated. Even so, she still held onto a glimmer of hope. She thought that she wasn't bad at studying, and if she could graduate, she would surely be able to repay Jiang Xiaoman someday.
However, it seems that there really is such a thing as "fate" in the world, and this mysterious concept that cannot be seen or touched once again showed Yan Qing how powerful it is.
A few months later, Jiang Xiaoman visited her twice more. Yan Qing keenly sensed that Jiang Xiaoman was different than before. She still cared about Yan Qing's life and inquired about her recent studies. But while listening to Yan Qing speak, she would often drift off into thought and sigh.
After that, Jiang Xiaoman didn't come to Mengshui Village for a long time, didn't even make a phone call, and didn't send any more food or clothing.
Meng Xianglan said sarcastically, "Where has the great philanthropist gone? Has his kindness been eaten by dogs?"
Feng Xin stared at Yan Qing with a sinister look: "What did you say to Jiang Xiaoman?"
Yan Qing was terrified: "I didn't."
Feng Xin glared at her menacingly: "If I find out you're talking nonsense, I'll skin you alive!"
After a long time, Yan Qing thought that Jiang Xiaoman had forgotten about her.
One day at noon, Feng Yiming held a birthday banquet. Yan Qing was ordered to clean and cook. After everything was ready, Yan Qing was kicked out of the house.
With nowhere else to go, Yan Qing went alone to the Guanyue Temple on the hillside behind the village and sat down in front of the temple to review her textbooks. Then she saw Jiang Xiaoman appear on the path at the entrance of Mengshui Village in the distance.
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