Chapter 62
Yan Qing stood under the showerhead, trying to wash away her chaotic thoughts. But her mind felt like it had a motor inside, constantly vibrating. Scenes from the day replayed incessantly. The conversations at the dinner table that she thought she hadn't heard were now rallying for their owners, relentlessly burrowing into her ears. Ren Ruiyun, in a lighthearted tone, described a pair of the most unique lovers in the world, and many memories of them—sweetness, passion, passion, sorrow—gnawed at Yan Qing's brain like termites. And the kiss the woman left on his chest became a scar branded on Yan Qing's heart, an unbearable pain that she could never shake off.
She thought she would confront him, expose him, and accuse him. But in reality, she didn't even have the courage to go out and face him. She gasped for breath, her breath mingled with the scent of perfume from Ren Ruiyun's room, as if Ren Ruiyun's eyes were peering into her from the shadows, witnessing her naked weakness and embarrassment.
"What am I doing?" she asked herself. Why was she so concerned? Hadn't she long ago seen through the complexities of love, resentment, and grudges among adult men and women? She'd forgotten about Zhuge Xiaoxiang's deception in just a few days. She'd never cared about Wu Yanying's special treatment from Shen Hanyang. She understood the fleeting and uncontrollable nature of emotions; life's circumstances were ever-changing, and separation was a familiar theme. In the past twenty-seven years, important people had left her one by one, and each time she'd weathered it all on her own.
It's nothing serious. Yan Qing wiped her face hard, trying to cheer herself up. She turned on the tap, and the water droplets splashed on the floor, sounding like loud applause—applause cheering for the lady of the house to return.
In the bedroom, separated by a door, Shen Hanyang gazed thoughtfully towards the bathroom. The sound of water was intermittent, sometimes fast, sometimes slow, but it never stopped. Today, she lingered there for an unusually long time.
Finally, Yan Qing slowly emerged from the bathroom. A wisp of cool, damp air lingered behind her.
She glanced at the ground; her disheveled clothes were no longer there. "The maid took them to wash," Shen Hanyang said.
"Um."
The bedroom was a bit chilly, so she pulled a shawl from the closet and wrapped it around her shoulders. She turned on the bedside lamp and picked up a half-read book from the bedside table. She could feel Shen Hanyang's gaze following her; her mind was in turmoil, and she couldn't concentrate on a single word.
"What happened?"
Upon hearing these words, a surge of emotion welled up in Yan Qing's eyes. She didn't dare look at him, lowering her head to turn a page of her book: "What...what is it?"
You're angry with me.
No way.
"His eyes were red."
Yan Qing raised her eyelids slightly, then quickly lowered them again: "Don't bother me, I'm reading."
But he didn't seem to intend to let her get away with it. Footsteps drew closer, and a long shadow blocked the light. "Where did you go today?"
"Didn't I tell you, school?"
What are you doing at the Peninsula Hotel?
With a "thud," the book slipped from her lap. Yan Qing slowly raised her eyes; the bill for the Peninsula Hotel restaurant was in Shen Hanyang's hand. Staring at his curled knuckles, she remained silent for a long time.
A heavy, oppressive atmosphere gathered in the room, and something was fermenting in places unseen.
He asked again, "Tell me, what are you going to the Peninsula Hotel for?"
She said dryly, "Do nothing."
Who are you going to see?
"I didn't see anyone." She clenched her teeth, struggling to control her emotions.
"You're angry. You saw that person. When did you reconnect? What did she say to you?"
Shen Hanyang pressed on relentlessly, pushing Yan Qing's nerves to the brink of collapse. She covered her face in anguish, saying, "I don't want to talk about it. Do you really have to keep asking?"
"I want to ask. Keeping everything bottled up inside will only create bigger problems." Shen Hanyang's voice was cold and unyielding.
Yan Qing was stunned, then sneered: "What do you want me to say? Shouldn't you be the one to confess to me first? When are you going to bring your mistress back for a reunion?"
"She still came to you." Shen Hanyang's eyes narrowed, and he said in a deep voice, "Don't believe a single word Ren Ruiyun says. I have nothing to do with her, not even a little bit."
"Nothing at all?" Yan Qing said mockingly. "Did you say the same thing about me to Jia Ming?"
"Of course not!" Shen Hanyang felt wronged. "I have never hidden our relationship from anyone. After we got together, I wanted to tell the whole world!"
But Yan Qing's expression didn't waver at all, and she seemed not to believe him at all.
He knew she was angry, and no amount of explanation would make things worse. He suppressed his urge to confront Ren Ruiyun immediately, trying his best to remain calm, and adopted a conciliatory tone: "I'll tell you about this later. Right now, I haven't seen my little darling all day, and I miss you so much, I need you so much. Come to me, okay?" He opened his arms to her.
She remained motionless, like a marble statue, her face as cold as ice.
Shen Hanyang walked over, squatted down to meet her gaze, gently stroked her hair with one hand, and spoke in a tender tone as if to a baby: "Xiaobao, don't be sad. Today is the first day of the new year, let's not argue over unimportant people, okay?"
His eyes were like deep pools, fixed on her without blinking. Yan Qing vaguely thought that it was these captivating eyes that had made her fall for him time and time again. Under such a gaze, her breathing became disordered, and her stiff fingertips involuntarily gripped the blanket beside her. The cool, silky touch reminded her of Ren Ruiyun's satin-like long hair.
Did Ren Ruiyun also bask in his tender gaze day and night?
Recalling Ren Ruiyun's words, Yan Qing suddenly awoke from her reverie. She realized that the comfortable hot water, the bed, and Shen Hanyang's skillful tenderness that she enjoyed were all Ren Ruiyun's creation, a haven that her lover had reserved for her.
Yan Qing, on the other hand, was merely a latecomer who reaped the benefits without effort. She couldn't describe her feelings at that moment—bitterness, frustration, jealousy, a mix of emotions. Even the scent of cedarwood, which she loved most in the room, felt suffocating.
She suddenly stood up and walked out. Shen Hanyang blocked her way.
"do what?"
"Go back to school."
"no."
"You can't control me."
"Do we really have to be so confrontational? Can't we resolve this calmly and rationally?"
Yan Qing smiled sadly: "I don't want to stay in your bridal chamber, please, Mr. Shen, let me retain some self-respect!"
"What wedding room? What kind of bewitching drug did Ren Ruiyun give you that you believe her lies so easily?" His voice was tinged with anger, but Yan Qing still insisted on opening the door. He reached out to take her hand, but she forcefully shook him off, so he had to block the doorway with his entire body. "Fine, even if I'm found guilty, I should at least have a chance to explain, right? Give me a minute, and I can finish telling you about what happened between her and me in a minute."
The room finally quieted down again. Taking advantage of the lull in the silence, Shen Hanyang briefly and quickly recounted the past: "She and I did have a relationship, many, many years ago. In the middle of that time, she was with one of my friends behind my back, and we had a child, Jiaming. She was with Cheng Yu because Cheng Yu's family background was very prominent. She was looking out for herself, and there's nothing wrong with that. But she didn't know that Cheng Yu was the Cheng family's illegitimate son. After Cheng's father passed away, he was not recognized. Not long after, Cheng Yu died in an accident while piloting his private helicopter. At that time, Jiaming was less than three months old. After Cheng Yu died, Ren Ruiyun found an excuse to abandon Jiaming to me and then disappeared. The Cheng family didn't accept Jiaming, and I couldn't bear to send him to an orphanage, so I always told everyone that he was my child. However, his name was still given by Cheng Yu, and he took Cheng Yu's surname, so it didn't change. That's the whole story."
After reciting a long passage in one breath, Shen Hanyang held his breath and observed Yan Qing's expression.
Yan Qing stared blankly for a long time before finally asking, "You must love her very much, right?"
"What?" Shen Hanyang paused slightly.
"You love her very much. She deceived you, but you not only don't blame her, you forgive and forget, you adopt her child with another man, and she has lived in your heart for so many years. If this is not love, then what is love?"
Shen Hanyang fell into a brief silence. He could deny his present relationship with Ren Ruiyun without any guilt, but could he truly deny their past with unwavering conviction? Back then, had he truly loved her? Eight years was too long; the world had changed several times. In those eight years, he had conquered the business world, leading Huanyu Technology to great heights, doubling its market value, and also raising a child along the way. Looking back through the dust of time, the details were inevitably blurred. Whether it was love or hate back then, even he wasn't entirely sure.
"It's all in the past," he said, barely able to hide his exhaustion.
“It’s not the past,” Yan Qing shook her head, her voice filled with sorrow, “She never disappeared. Shen Hanyang, you are truly despicable. Since you love each other so deeply, until death do you part, why did you come to provoke me? You made me live in your love nest, raise your children, and force me to witness how intimate you are!”
"That's not how it works! It's not fair to say that!" Shen Hanyang said. "Ren Ruiyun and I, that's all from our past lives. Who doesn't have a past?"
"Really? In the past? Then how do you explain the fact that she kept your shirt in her room?"
Shen Hanyang froze. He knew nothing had happened between him and Ren Ruiyun, but he wasn't sure if he had really left his shirt in Ren Ruiyun's room. It was a chaotic period; Ren Ruiyun had just returned to the country, and Yan Qing hadn't appeared yet. They had met again at a business event. Shen Hanyang had been dealing with Ren Ruiyun for a long time because of Cheng Jiaming's custody issues. This woman, who had been gone for eight years, no longer stirred any emotion in him. He had almost forgotten that farcical love triangle. But he had to handle things very carefully; his only goal was to mend Cheng Jiaming's regrets. He knew that if he angered her, and she disappeared again, Cheng Jiaming might never see his mother again. In this process of mutual scheming, he might have had his shirt stained with her lipstick once, or perhaps he had changed his shirt temporarily; he couldn't remember.
Yan Qing reached past him to pull the doorknob, but Shen Hanyang stood firmly in front of the door, unmoving.
"You can't just leave like this."
Yan Qing coldly replied, "I won't leave today, but I'll leave tomorrow. Can you keep me locked up forever?"
Shen Hanyang wanted to explain, but any words seemed pale and powerless. Faced with the irrefutable evidence, he was speechless. No words could wash away his "sins." He suddenly felt a pang of fear; if he couldn't gain her forgiveness, would he lose her?
Distracted for a moment, Yan Qing pushed him aside and turned the door lock.
"Don't go," he pleaded, "Qingqing, don't leave me..."
Yan Qing paused for a few seconds, then resolutely opened the door.
"Miss Yan." Aunt Chen stood at the door, holding folded pajamas in her hands. "I brought up the clothes that were washed last time."
Yan Qing glanced at him, seemingly saying to Shen Hanyang behind her, "I'll sleep in the guest room tonight." Then, she left without looking back.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
