She grabbed my arm and begged for mercy, but I didn't stop.
She held my face and shook it, but I didn't stop.
Her hands fell limply and she collapsed to the ground. There were people around pulling me, but I still didn't stop.
I didn't stop until I couldn't see the face anymore and the hammer handle broke in two."
“I remember my mind was so quiet, there was no sound at all.
It was not until several minutes after I stopped that I could hear the crying in the yard.
Geng Qingqing's mournful cries!
My mother's desperate cries!
And my father's howl of terror:
'Don't go!
We didn't mean it. We can save her. She can still be saved.
We are willing to compensate!'
These words were said to Geng Qingqing who was about to escape.
I didn't know what was going on at the time, but there was only one thought in my mind -
Can't let her leave!
I threw away the broken hammer handle, grabbed the awl from the windowsill, caught up with Geng Qingqing, and stabbed the sharp awl into her neck.
The spurting blood dyed my eyes blood red.
I woke up and realized what had happened.
Turning around and looking at Si Lan's body, I burst into tears.
I don't understand how things turned out like this.
Si Lan and I are clearly a match made in heaven.
And we are only one step away from being together.
How could she die?
How could I kill her?
At this time!
Then I realized that I shouldn't have doubted Si Lan.
If what is between us is not love, then what is it?
Other things can be disguised and deceived, but I believe that love cannot be faked.
Si Lan is absolutely sincere to me.
I found out that I was wrong and I misunderstood Si Lan.
When our eyes met before, the shock and despair in Si Lan's eyes was not because she had deceived me and was exposed by my parents.
But it was because of the doubt in my eyes at that time.
My suspicion stung her!
At that moment, she must have felt betrayed, so she was desperate.
I was shocked that her sincere devotion and genuine feelings towards me were met with my suspicion.
Si Lan must have been completely disappointed in me at that time.
She said my parents were right, that she was deceiving me, and that her feelings for me were fake, just to piss me off, to anger me, and to make herself feel less embarrassed.
The dedication towards me is fake!
He agreed to the marriage proposal just to get money.
After getting the money, she will run away.
These were just her angry words.
These were words he said in anger out of extreme despair and disappointment in me, in order to protect his own dignity.
But I actually believed it!
I actually doubted our love!
I actually doubted her dedication to me.
Because of this little suspicion, I actually killed her!
I am not human!
I'm a fool!
I'm an idiot!
I am the dumbest, dumbest idiot in the world!
I killed the woman who loved me the most with my own hands.
He also killed the woman he loved most with his own hands!
I destroyed my own happiness with my own hands.
Originally, we should get married, become husband and wife, have a son and a daughter, and live happily for the rest of our lives.
But now, it’s gone, all gone…”
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