Chapter 8 Tears: Sex and Love Through Freud's Eyes.
"Shh-"
Ning Jiu hadn't recovered from that series of actions when he turned off his phone, leaving only complete silence in the air.
Almost the instant Qiao Bailin turned off the bell, a series of hurried footsteps sounded outside the door, mixed with the students' light laughter, which sounded particularly abrupt in the quiet room.
After the morning exercises ended, some classes had already returned from the playground.
"I'm sorry," he said, taking a step back once he was sure the crowd had moved away, bringing the two back to their normal distance. "The situation was urgent just now, and I didn't have time to explain things to you clearly."
The door to the teaching materials room wasn't very soundproof. If someone outside noticed any noise inside and opened the door to find her and Qiao Bolin together, it wouldn't be as simple as just confiscating their phone.
"......"
Ning Jiu did not speak immediately.
As if she hadn't fully recovered from the recent events, her usually clear eyes were unusually bewildered, whether from shock or pain. Her chest heaved slightly, and the corners of her upturned eyes were tinged with a thick, glossy red, reflecting a moist sheen under the light.
She slowly said that she was fine, but realized something after the words left her mouth. In the end, she couldn't help but add a sentence in a low voice.
"But you used too much force just now."
Although there is a certain distance between them, the teaching materials room is small and surrounded by piles of equipment, so it can't be that far.
The school uniform couldn't hide the clear outline of her collarbone, and her sunken skin reflected a pale white luster under the incandescent light. A sweet fragrance mingled with the very faint soap scent of the school uniform, lingering in her breath.
Qiao Bolin's gaze followed Ning Jiu's words and inadvertently swept over her reddened wrist.
Was that force considered heavy?
He has been deliberately restraining the intensity.
The slippery sensation in my palm hadn't faded yet; the lingering warmth clung to my nerves like fine threads, pulling and tugging at them slowly.
He noticed that Ning Jiu's skin did indeed seem thinner than that of ordinary people. Just by holding her wrist, a beautiful blush appeared below her wrist bone. The color was so bright that it was somewhat abrupt, as if a mark had been accidentally placed on her body, which could easily arouse a sense of abuse.
"sorry."
Qiao Bolin looked away and politely handed the phone back to Ning Jiu.
"It won't happen again."
He said it casually and naturally, without ever thinking about how painful it would be to be proven wrong later.
Since he had already said that, Ning Jiu couldn't say anything more.
As if just remembering something, she looked up at him suspiciously, her beautiful eyes meeting his.
"But how did you come up with the idea of coming here?"
Admitting a mistake is just a momentary bow of the head; the next second, one can righteously shift the blame onto others, unable to tolerate the slightest grievance.
But her slightly reddened eyes and soft voice emphasized how wronged she felt.
A barely perceptible chuckle crept into Qiao Bolin's voice.
"As I just said, I'm here to get the books for Lao Qin."
"...Are you really here to pick up the book?"
Ning Jiu clearly didn't quite believe this explanation.
She had just scanned the room and found that most of the books were old ones that the school had already issued, and there were hardly any worth coming here specifically to get. Rather than believing that Qiao Bolin had come to get the books, she believed her other guess more.
"You're not here on a date, are you?" she said with a subtle smile. "Don't worry, it's okay if that's the case. I won't tell anyone."
She dragged him into the mess, made a deal, and used his non-existent secret to redeem the flaws she had revealed.
Qiao Bolin saw through her words but didn't say anything. He didn't respond to her again, and walked around Ning Jiu to take out the book he wanted from inside the iron shelf.
The boy bent slightly, his school uniform creating a clear crease that accentuated his straight back.
From Ning Jiu's perspective, it just so happens that there is a small mole on the right side of his neck, right next to his Adam's apple.
She's kind of sexy.
Neither threats nor inducements worked on Qiao Bolin. Ning Jiu sighed helplessly and had no choice but to put her phone back in her school trouser pocket and pull her school uniform down a bit.
"In short, you are not allowed to tell anyone."
Perhaps realizing his tone was a bit harsh, he softened his voice and added.
"Please, Qiao."
"......"
His eyebrows and eyes were soft, but his expression was hard.
The more dissatisfied one is, the gentler one's tone becomes.
This was the first time Qiao Bolin realized that there were girls like this.
He picked up the book and stood up, neither saying yes nor no; she couldn't judge his attitude from his expression.
Before Ning Jiu could say anything to salvage the situation, she suddenly felt his warm fingertips touch the corner of her eye.
She paused slightly, her gaze sweeping over his hand as he naturally withdrew, and a single tear on his slender fingertip.
I heard his slightly helpless voice.
"Why do you cry so easily?"
The atmosphere was silent for a moment. Ning Jiu watched as he casually wiped away the tears from his fingertips. The thin droplets of water rubbed between his hot fingertips and skin, seeping into his skin little by little.
She has always been sensitive to pain, and has been like that since she was a child. Over time, she got used to it and didn't even realize she was crying.
A subtle, indescribable emotion flashed through his mind, and by the time he came to his senses, Qiao Bolin's well-defined fingers were already gripping the doorknob.
Ning Jiu understood his meaning and breathed a slight sigh of relief.
At least this matter is over.
-
Friday was almost over. The lunch bell rang, and Ning Jiu finished the last chemistry problem and put her pen back in the pencil case.
The classroom erupted in a cacophony of noise again. Ning Jiu had no appetite and was bored in the classroom, so she decided to go downstairs for a stroll.
All the calls Ning Jiu made to Ning Xuan last week went unanswered, and Ning Jiu almost suspected that Ning Xuan's phone was broken.
The afternoon sun was scorching. Ning Jiu was tired from walking and wanted to find a shady spot to rest. A boy's hoarse voice, which was going through puberty, came from around the corner, startling her.
"Hey Yi, that girl was so pretty, it would be such a waste not to give her a chance," the raspy-voiced man said with a sigh. "If I had your looks, I could date eighty girls a day!"
"Talking to eighty women a day," another voice said coldly, "aren't you afraid of dying from exhaustion?"
The voice behind her sounded so familiar that Ning Jiu initially thought she had misheard.
As if to confirm some conjecture for her, with a "thud," the crushed aluminum can flew around the corner and hit the trash can next to it.
The boy was strolling slowly, about to turn the corner, when he suddenly felt a gust of wind. He looked up and saw the girl's wisps of hair behind her ear swaying with her movement, before disappearing around the corner in the blink of an eye.
He frowned slightly, and heard Zou Qian's teasing voice in his ear: "Is this another little girl who has a crush on you? She ran away as soon as she saw you."
"Your little girl ran away so fast when she saw her crush?" Wen Yi remained unmoved, but his gaze followed Ning Jiu's back for a few seconds before he suddenly sneered, "She probably thought I was a ghost and was too guilty to see me, right?"
What he said wasn't wrong.
Ning Jiu now believes that Wen Yi, whom she just saw, is definitely a ghost!
Her heart was pounding and her stomach was churning, but she didn't dare slow down. When she saw a building with a door, she stepped inside without hesitation.
Was she hallucinating, or had Wen Yi really transferred from Lingcheng to Jianglan Experimental School just like her?
Ning Jiu was more inclined to believe it was his own hallucination than the latter.
She didn't really know her way around; she just started climbing the stairs whenever she saw them, trying to leave the person behind her far behind.
My heart pounded, and I was sweating profusely from running. When I finally came to my senses, the first thing I felt was the cold air from the central air conditioning blowing over my head, and my cool, wispy hair brushing against my ears, making a buzzing sound.
The surrounding area was lined with old bookshelves, the floorboards creaked with every step, and a pungent smell of disinfectant wafted over.
The library at Jianglan Experimental School was the first to be built. Due to the heavy academic pressure, the school leaders did not pay much attention to it, and the cleaning and maintenance work was done perfunctorily. It has reached the point where the paint is peeling off and the windows are creaking.
The corridor was dusty, and the bookshelves by the window were covered with fine dust. The sunlight shone in at an angle, and the dust turned into dancing spots of light, shimmering in front of the bookshelves.
Ning Jiu looked up and saw that she was standing in front of a row of bookshelves. Her eyes swept over the slightly tilted "Psychology" label, and she stopped in her tracks, which was about to leave.
There's no way to go outside now, so we might as well just wander around inside.
She made up her mind, her gaze fixed on a book on the bookshelf, and she tiptoed to reach for it.
A slight noise reached my ears, and I instinctively stopped what I was doing.
"Sister Ziwei, it's been a long time."
"......"
The glass door was gently pushed open, and a smell of dust and old paper wafted out. The bookshelves were arranged haphazardly, and several cardboard boxes containing books were lying across the aisle. Despite the small size of the place, one had to take a long detour to reach the bookshelves at the back.
After greeting Luo Ziwei, Qiao Bolin skillfully stepped over the cardboard box next to him and walked towards the innermost row of bookshelves.
As he turned the corner, his gaze casually fell on the ground, pausing almost imperceptibly for a moment before unexpectedly meeting the girl's smiling eyes.
The sunlight elongated Ning Jiu's slightly upturned eyes, her light pupils shimmering. The beige book cover in her hand was obscured by her slender fingertips, making the name illegible.
She didn't speak, but mouthed two words.
What a coincidence.
Qiao Bolin casually glanced at the words "Psychology" on the bookshelf next to him.
In the past few days, the two have tacitly agreed to pretend that the incident in the textbook room never happened. They sit far apart, have barely spoken, and have hardly interacted.
Qiao Bolin's gaze swept over the girl's gentle features. Her expression remained unchanged, as always calm and composed. Only upon closer inspection could one see the fine beads of sweat on her forehead and her slightly rapid breathing.
Some things don't need to be exposed.
Without saying anything, he naturally looked away and began picking out books from the bookshelf next to him.
Since classroom book corners became popular, most students choose to select books directly from the book corner instead of coming to the library to borrow them.
Even if they were to borrow books, they would mostly borrow everyday academic books from the first and second floors. The third floor mainly contained books on less popular subjects, which high school students wouldn't have much time to read.
Therefore, the third floor was very quiet, the kind of quiet where you could only hear Ning Jiu turning the pages of a book.
Qiao Bolin picked out a book from the next bookshelf. The scarlet cover was very attractive, and Ning Jiu was drawn to it.
“It’s such a striking cover,” she said. “I almost chose it.”
Because she was kneeling while reading, the already short girl only reached his elbow.
Qiao Bolin paused for a moment, met her light-colored, glassy eyes, and chose to bend down slightly.
“Jung’s Red Book,” he said, gesturing the book in his hand toward her. “I’ve read it once. You can have it if you want.”
His presence drew near along with the book that was handed to him. Ning Jiu only glanced at the dazzling cover before her gaze fell on his prominent palm bones, then slowly moved upwards, finally settling on Qiao Bolin's enlarged eyebrows and eyes.
His brow bones were deep-set, his nose was straight, and his bone structure exuded a perfectly upright and youthful air.
But those dark eyes were so beautiful they were almost bewitching; their pupils reflected her image, and even the light in their eyes seemed to shine for her.
George Bolin has eyes that know how to love.
But when those eyes looked at her, they were no different from anyone else's.
Ning Jiu suddenly felt a little regretful.
The distance between them unconsciously closed, and she suddenly stood on tiptoe.
For a fleeting moment, their breaths mingled, and the boy froze, feeling the book in his hands being pushed back into the girl's arms.
"Maybe next time, I've already chosen the books I want to read—"
Ning Jiu paused, then changed the subject, her tone carrying a subtle undertone.
"Or, would you switch with me?"
The two walked from the third floor to the first floor one after the other. Ning Jiu saw Qiao Bolin's water cup in the reading room on the first floor and realized that he was going to read for a while before returning to the classroom.
Do you come here often?
“This is the first time this semester,” Qiao Bailin said, placing the book on his seat in the reading room and picking up his library card to activate it at the machine. “I’ll come here for a while when I can’t sleep at noon.”
Before leaving, he remembered something and turned back.
Do you have a library card?
Ning Jiu looked at him blankly, and Qiao Bolin knew she hadn't done it yet.
"You need a library card to borrow books from the library. You need to get your student card from Professor Luo's office on the third floor—"
Do you treat everyone like this?
The girl's soft voice interrupted Qiao Bolin, who was unusually taken aback.
"Sorry," he said, thinking he had misheard, "what did you say?"
Perhaps it was the accumulation of events that made Ning Jiu feel irritable, or perhaps it was his businesslike tone that annoyed her.
Ning Jiu spoke each word clearly.
“A polite tone, polite manners, a polite smile,” she asked him. “Are you like that with everyone?”
Clearly, this is not a suitable question to ask at this moment.
As expected, George Bolin did not provide an answer.
“…Okay,” Ning Jiu became more obedient the more agitated she became, “I understand.”
A sudden beginning, an abrupt end.
Qiao Bolin stared at Ning Jiu for a few seconds, wanting to say something more, but the girl had already turned around and gone upstairs without any mercy.
There weren't many people at the library; only a few people were queuing in front of the machines.
He walked toward the machine by the door, and heard the beeping sound of a card being swiped.
Recalling his conversation with Ning Jiu, an indescribable sense of restlessness rose from the bottom of his heart.
"Joe Bolin?"
The gentle female voice brought him back to his senses.
The moment Qiao Bolin looked over, Song Yunhe reflexively smoothed her hair, a beautiful blush appearing on her cheeks.
“I was just wondering why you hadn’t come in so long, and I just saw your water bottle.” She lowered her voice, her eyes sparkling as she looked at him. “I just heard from Li Mingyuan a couple of days ago that you went to the provincial capital for a competition during the summer vacation. That’s really impressive.”
Song Yunhe's voice was filled with a surprise that she herself had not realized. Normally, even if Qiao Bolin did not want to respond, he would not let his words fall to the ground out of politeness.
But for some reason, he doesn't really want to speak right now.
"What kind of books did you borrow this time?" Since they were in different classes, Song Yunhe didn't want to miss this rare opportunity to get close to Qiao Bolin. "Could you recommend some books for me? I'm currently looking for something to read."
It was almost Qiao Bolin's turn in the queue, and he looked at the card in his hand.
"Related to psychology."
"Psychology? I've never read a book like that before," Song Yunhe said, sounding quite pleased. "I just saw one on your desk, is that the one?"
Qiao Bolin gave a soft reply.
After the initial surprise subsided, Song Yunhe gradually calmed down and noticed that Qiao Bolin's emotions were a bit off.
Aside from her personal feelings for him, Song Yunhe considered herself someone who admired strength, and Qiao Bolin was undoubtedly the person who best matched her ideal projection, whether in terms of family background or academic achievements.
Although she could sense from him that he didn't want to date in high school, Song Yunhe believed that getting to know him better in high school would give her an advantage when confessing her feelings after graduation.
Realizing he didn't seem to be in the mood for conversation, she wisely refrained from starting a new topic and instead walked in another direction.
Upon entering the reading room and seeing the books on Qiao Bolin's table, Song Yunhe couldn't resist her curiosity and went over to take a look at the books he had borrowed that day.
At just one glance, Song Yunhe froze.
......
After activating his card, Qiao Bolin walked back to the reading room and inadvertently met Song Yunhe's gaze.
The way she looked at me was so strange, a mixture of disbelief and something else.
Not paying much attention, he walked back to his seat. As he pulled out his chair, he glanced at the table in front of him and noticed that the red book had disappeared, replaced by a book with a beige cover.
action.
pause.
The large, dark lettering stands out against the contrasting color temperature of the book cover background, making it incredibly eye-catching. The bold and attention-grabbing title always manages to grab your attention at first glance.
In the very center, the bolded title of the book stood out, directly colliding with his vision without leaving any room for avoidance.
Sex and Love Through Freud's Eyes
A note from the author:
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The next chapter will be about the turning point of World War II. [doge emoji]
No update tomorrow, double update on Thursday, and I'll be giving out big red envelopes that day!
Thank you to all the fans who support "Jinbai" [kissing emoji]! Remember to add it to your favorites, muah! [pink heart emoji]
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P.S.: "Sex and Love in Freud's Eyes" is an interpretation of Freud's "Three Essays on the Theory of Sexuality". "Three Essays on the Theory of Sexuality", together with his other two works "Psychology of Love" and "Civilized Sexual Morality and Modern Man's Neurosis", constitute the core of "pansexualism".
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