Chapter 26
The sound of the phone shattering was like a harbinger of the collapse of his inner world.
Lü Xiaoyan didn't know how he left the girls' dormitory building, or how he stumbled out of the campus and hailed a taxi. Qiu Yayu's mother's broken sob and her father's heavy, iron-like declaration were like two red-hot irons, repeatedly searing his auditory nerves, burning all his reason and perception to ashes.
"...The car accident...is over...gone..."
The meaning behind those words, put together, was beyond the scope of his brain's processing. Impossible. Absolutely impossible. They were texting yesterday, agreeing to go home together today. She even said, "See you tomorrow." How could she… how could she just do this…
"Young man, where are you going?" The taxi driver asked cautiously, looking at his pale face and empty eyes.
Where to go?
Where is he going?
He opened his mouth, but his throat felt like it was filled with coarse sand and scraps of paper, and he couldn't make a sound. His hands trembled as he tried to find the number he had just dialed on his phone to ask where her parents were, but he found he didn't even have the strength to hold the phone.
Just then, his phone rang. It was an unfamiliar local landline number.
He answered almost reflexively, his voice hoarse and broken: "...Hello?"
"Is this Lü Xiaoyan?" A calm, formulaic female voice came from the other end of the phone. "This is the Accident Handling Section of the Traffic Police Detachment of the A City Public Security Bureau. We are deeply saddened and grieved by the unfortunate passing of Qiu Yayu. We now need her family or a close relative to come in to confirm her identity and handle related matters. Based on the last call records and emergency contact information on her phone, we have contacted you. May I ask if you are available now..."
Lu Xiaoyan could no longer hear what was said after that.
Confirm identity.
To handle matters.
These cold words, like blunt knives, slowly and cruelly cut into his already numb nerves and body.
He spoke into the microphone with all his might, managing to squeeze out a blurry address.
The taxi weaved through the morning traffic. Outside the window, the world was still bustling with activity, the sun was shining brightly, vendors were hawking breakfasts on the roadside, and pedestrians hurried by. Everything was the same as usual, full of vibrant life.
But in Lü Xiaoyan's eyes, all of this turned into a distorted, silent black-and-white film. All sounds faded away, all colors vanished instantly. From the moment he received that phone call, his world was reduced to only one color—a hopeless gray.
The car stopped in front of the Municipal Public Security Bureau Traffic Police Detachment.
He paid the fare, got out of the car, and walked unsteadily toward the solemn and imposing building. Each step felt like walking on cotton, or on shards of broken glass.
Someone greeted him and led him to the door of a room. The room was lit by a pale, stark light, and the air was filled with a faint, cold smell, like a mixture of disinfectant and some kind of chemical reagent.
"Student Lü Xiaoyan, please wait here for a moment." The staff member's voice carried a hint of barely perceptible sympathy.
He stood alone in the empty corridor, his back against the cold wall, barely able to support his steadily sliding body. His heart pounded wildly and erratically in his chest, as if it would explode at any moment. Cold sweat soaked through his shirt, sticking clinging to his skin and sending chills down his spine.
Time seemed to stand still.
After an unknown amount of time, the door opened from the inside. A staff member wearing a white coat, mask, and gloves came out and gestured to him.
Lu Xiaoyan's body was as stiff as a stone. Almost on some remaining instinct, he moved his feet and walked into the room.
The light in the room was even more glaring than he had imagined. In the very center was a stainless steel table covered with a white sheet with clearly defined outlines.
The staff member guiding him stood at one end of the platform, looking at him, and said in as calm a tone as possible: "Please confirm whether this is Qiu Yayu herself."
As he spoke, he gently lifted a corner of the white cloth.
Just a corner.
It revealed a face that Lü Xiaoyan knew so well it was etched into her very bones.
Her eyes were tightly closed, her long eyelashes like two small fans resting quietly on her eyelids, no longer able to tremble. Her face was a lifeless, almost transparent pale white, like fine white porcelain, cold and fragile. On her forehead, a treated but still noticeable scar and bruise marred her once perfect features. Her lips were slightly parted, devoid of all color, as if she wanted to say something, but ultimately fell into eternal silence.
She looked so quiet, so... serene. As if she were asleep, only sleeping so soundly that no amount of calling could wake her.
This is the person he was looking forward to meeting today, even though he was looking forward to it last night.
This is the person he plans to spend the summer vacation with, to see the stars, and to go to the beach.
This is the person he secretly prepared a birthday gift for, the one whose heart and soul are completely devoted to him.
Now, she lies here quietly, a cold, lifeless body.
Lu Xiaoyan's breathing suddenly stopped. His blood seemed to reverse in an instant, freezing his limbs and bones. He stared intently at that face, his eyes wide open to the extreme, but his pupils were unfocused.
The world around him spun wildly, collapsed, and vanished.
He could hear no sound, felt no existence. All consciousness, all emotions, all future were utterly crushed and reduced to dust by the utterly cruel scene before him.
He tried to shout, but his throat felt like it was sealed with cement, and he couldn't utter a single syllable.
He tried to move, but his body seemed to be nailed to the spot, unable to lift even a finger.
He wanted to cry, but his eyes were as dry as a desert, and not a single tear could flow.
Only an endless, dark, and cold vacuum enveloped and swallowed him tightly.
It turns out that extreme sorrow cannot be expressed in any way.
The staff looked at his face, which had instantly lost all color, and his eyes, which were so empty it seemed as if his soul had been ripped out. They sighed silently and gently covered him with the white sheet again.
"Please accept my condolences." The dry and pale words of comfort seemed so light and powerless in the face of absolute death.
Lü Xiaoyan remained standing there stiffly, like a stone sculpture that had been weathered away in an instant.
A long, long time passed.
He turned his stiff neck with extreme slowness and difficulty. His gaze fell on a transparent evidence bag placed on a table in the corner of the room.
Inside, a light blue box wrapped in starry sky paper lay quietly. The corners of the box were worn, and the wrapping paper had several irregular stains that had turned dark brown.
That was... a birthday gift he had long admired, one she had secretly prepared for all summer, which she was supposed to give him with a radiant smile soon...
Like her, it remained forever in an "unfinished" state.
As Lü Xiaoyan looked at the box and the glaring blue color, the last barrier she had been holding up finally collapsed completely.
He suddenly bent over and began to dry heave uncontrollably. His stomach churned, but he couldn't vomit anything. Only endless bitterness and despair burned through his internal organs.
But he lost.
But they lost to the capriciousness of fate and the cruelty of death.
He lost his autumn.
Forever. Forever. Forever...
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