Chapter 5
Qiu Yayu's question, "Are you fighting with time for me? Am I like a stone thrown into water?" sent ripples spreading across Lü Xiaoyan's seemingly calm surface. After his near-outburst in the darkroom, he avoided that space for several days, instead immersing himself in the most secluded corners of the library to read or simply wandering aimlessly through supermarkets and various parts of the city with his camera, trying to cool the inexplicable restlessness within him through physical distance.
He was used to quietness and observing the world through the lens alone, used to sealing his emotions and storing them away in the film and developing solution. Qiu Yayu's appearance was like an overly bright and warm light, shining directly into the slightly gloomy depths of his carefully protected heart, leaving him at a loss and even somewhat panicked.
He flipped through the photos he had inadvertently taken of her in his camera—her profile as she wiped sweat during a break from military training, her focused expression as she held a pomegranate in the darkroom, the moment she turned and smiled at Lü Xiaoyan in the sunlight… Each one was vivid and lifelike, carrying a burning warmth. He realized that in the process of chasing her through the lens, he had long since lost the detachment of an observer, becoming imbued with a tenderness that even the photographer himself was unaware of.
It's a strange feeling that can easily make you lose control.
However, running away seemed to be useless. No matter where he went, he could always find traces of her on campus—the familiar laughter coming from the journalism school building, the food stall she liked in the cafeteria, or even just seeing a figure wearing a light blue sweatshirt from behind, all of which could make his heart skip a beat.
He had to admit that the girl named Qiu Yayu had, like the ever-present fragrance of osmanthus in the autumn air, quietly seeped into his life.
A few days later, one evening, Lü Xiaoyan finally returned to the darkroom. He needed to complete a set of developing assignments. The moment he opened the door, the familiar scent of chemicals enveloped him, but he keenly noticed something different—a faint, lingering fragrance of Qiu Yayu, a scent of sunlight mixed with the freshness of grass. On the workbench, the high stool he often sat on had been gently moved, as if someone had been sitting there quietly waiting not long ago.
He stood there, silent for a moment. The slight irritation he had been deliberately suppressing subsided somewhat.
He began his work, skillfully preparing the chemicals and loading the film into the developing tank. During the wait for development, that familiar feeling of being watched returned. He whirled around; the darkroom doorway was empty. Was it an illusion? Or… was he actually hoping for that figure to appear?
He shook his head, trying to concentrate.
Just then, his phone screen lit up with a message from Chen Mo, inviting him to a newly opened barbecue stall off campus that evening. He was about to decline when his finger froze. He remembered that Qiu Yayu seemed to have mentioned that her dorm was also going there for dinner tonight.
As if by some strange twist of fate, he replied with a "okay".
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The food street outside the school was brightly lit and bustling with people, a world apart from the quiet campus and darkroom. The smoke from the barbecue stalls mingled with the aroma of various foods, filling the cool autumn night.
When Lü Xiaoyan arrived, Chen Mo had already taken a seat. As soon as he sat down, his gaze involuntarily drifted to another table not far away—Qiu Yayu was indeed there, sitting with Shen Yuqi, Su Xiaoxiao, and Lin Xue. Su Xiaoxiao said something that made her laugh heartily, her eyes curving into beautiful crescent moons.
She seemed to sense his gaze and turned her head. The moment their eyes met, the smile on her face froze for a moment, then became even brighter, and she waved to him from afar through the noisy crowd.
Lü Xiaoyan nodded somewhat awkwardly, quickly looked away, picked up the ice water on the table, took a sip, and tried to suppress the unexpected flutter in her heart.
"Who are you looking at?" Chen Mo followed his gaze and raised an eyebrow knowingly. "Oh—that junior from the Journalism Department? Qiu Yayu? Not bad, Xiao Yan, you're quick on your feet."
"Don't talk nonsense." Lü Xiaoyan frowned, her tone harsh.
"I'm talking nonsense?" Chen Mo leaned closer and lowered his voice. "It's all over the photography club, saying that the girl keeps going to your precious darkroom. You're usually so quiet, I never expected..."
Lü Xiaoyan didn't argue further, but silently turned the meat skewers on the grill. The crackling charcoal cast shifting shadows on his profile.
Halfway through the meal, Qiu Yayu's table seemed to be finishing up. They got up to leave. As they passed Lü Xiaoyan's table, Qiu Yayu slowed her pace slightly and smiled at Lü Xiaoyan: "Senior, Senior Chen Mo, we're leaving now."
"Hey, take care, junior!" Chen Mo responded warmly.
Lü Xiaoyan merely raised her eyes, which was considered a greeting.
Qiu Yayu didn't seem to mind. She turned and disappeared into the night with her roommates, but after a few steps, she suddenly stopped, jogged back, took a small paper bag from the canvas bag she was carrying, and quickly stuffed it into Lü Xiaoyan's hand. "Senior, this is for you! Bye-bye!" After she finished speaking, before Lü Xiaoyan could react, she turned and ran back to her roommates like a startled deer, leaving the girls laughing good-naturedly.
Lu Xiaoyan held the paper bag, which still held her body heat, and froze.
Chen Mo curiously leaned over: "Hey, what's this? A token of love?"
Lü Xiaoyan ignored him and, under Chen Mo's gossipy gaze, slowly opened the paper bag. Inside were two still-warm, perfectly roasted chestnuts, their reddish-brown shells glistening with oil, emitting an enticing sweet aroma. On the inside of the bag, in delicate handwriting, a line of small words was written:
"The roasted chestnuts at the alley entrance are delicious; I bet you haven't tried them. :-)"
A simple sentence, two ordinary chestnuts. Yet, like a warm breeze, they dispelled his days of turmoil and unease. He could even imagine the circumstances under which she suddenly thought of him, then went out of her way to buy them, carefully tucked them into her bag, and waited for the right moment to hand them to him.
This clumsy yet sincere concern caused a tiny crack to appear in his hardened heart.
He peeled open a chestnut, and the golden flesh was sweet and fragrant, a warm taste of autumn that he had never tasted before.
Chen Mo noticed the subtle changes in his expression and the way he carefully peeled the chestnuts. He wisely refrained from teasing him further and simply smiled meaningfully.
That night, Lü Xiaoyan returned to her dormitory and put the other unpeeled chestnut, along with the paper bag with the writing on it, into the box where she kept the photo "How Autumn Lives".
He stood by the window, gazing at the deep night outside, and for the first time clearly realized that some boundaries, once broken, can never be restored to their original state. And he, it seemed, did not really want to go back.
He picked up his phone, found the number he had recently saved but had never contacted, edited and deleted it, and finally sent only two words:
"Thanks."
Almost the instant the message was sent, the chat window displayed "The other party is typing..." at the top. A few seconds later, a reply appeared: a simple smiley face.
There were no superfluous words, yet it was as if a thousand words were silently flowing across both ends of the screen.
Looking at that smiling face, Lü Xiaoyan's lips, which had been tense for several days, finally slowly and almost imperceptibly curved upwards.
The chill of the autumn night seemed to dissipate, and a corner of my heart became soft and warm.
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