Chapter 262 Subtle Love and Hate
"You've been living too comfortably. Your family has given you so much that you've become increasingly selfish! Other children know to call home twice a day to check on their parents, but all you do all day is think about your money! Now you're so obsessed with money that you don't even want to go home. How could I have raised an ungrateful person like you?"
"You're a piece of useless mud. If we had known this would happen, we would never have given birth to you! What's the point of giving birth to you? You grow up and don't listen to anything I say. If it weren't for you, why would we live such a hard life? Have you ever given us anything in return?"
"Think carefully about what I said to you! If you're not willing to spend time thinking about it, then I think I will really slowly withdraw all my care and love for you! Because you really don't deserve it!"
Having heard these words since childhood, Lü Hongwen had actually become somewhat numb to them. No matter how harsh the words were now, they didn't seem to have the same lethal force as the sword of words. He seemed to have lost the ability to get angry or feel wronged or sad about them.
He would only fall into a quiet and continuous depression, trapped in the habitual feeling of unworthiness, the guilt of wanting to escape from his parents, and the sticky emotions that he wanted to break away from but could not.
He knew that not all parents loved their children, and some even harbored hatred for them. However, his parents handled both love and hate delicately. Their love didn't allow him to grow up happy and carefree, leaving him constantly in a state of depression. Their hatred for him wasn't so strong as to make him decide to abandon the relationship completely. They always made him feel loved and cared for at just the right moment.
This made him both hate and feel sorry for his parents. He wanted to get away from them, but also felt guilty about the idea of running away.
So after the college entrance examination, he didn't care about which university to go to or what major to study. Instead, he decided to go to another province, the farther the better.
"The store will open on the 12th of the New Year, but I will probably be back on the 2nd or 3rd, maybe even earlier. If you want to come earlier, I welcome you any day of the New Year. If you want to come, we will open the door and entertain two tables. If you don't want to come, just close the door and I will teach you how to cook a few dishes." Zhao Xiaojing saw that Lu Hongwen was a little depressed, so she turned her head and said softly.
Everyone at the table was eating happily, while Ouyang Yidan was talking to Geng Mingyan non-stop. No one noticed the little episode here, and only Zhao Xiaojing and Lu Hongwen and Su Yuchen beside her could hear what she said.
Su Yuchen was stunned and was about to say something, but turned his head to look and closed his mouth again.
Lu Hongwen quickly raised his head, his eyes instantly brightening, and after a long moment, he smiled faintly. "Thank you, Sister Jingzi."
Although he knew that he would most likely not be able to come early, Zhao Xiaojing's words made him feel as if he had a way out, and he gradually felt at ease and relieved from the bottom of his heart.
"Remember to buy tickets in advance. Tickets for the Spring Festival travel rush are not easy to buy. Let us know when you are coming." Zhao Xiaojing patted Lu Hongwen on the shoulder.
After settling Lu Hongwen, when Geng Mingyan and Hou Guihua had packed up and were about to walk out of the store, Zhao Xiaojing trotted after them and stuffed a red envelope into Geng Mingyan's hands.
"What are you doing, Xiao Zhao? Take it back!" Geng Mingyan hurriedly refused after seeing clearly.
"Sister Geng, don't be so quick to refuse," Zhao Xiaojing held Geng Mingyan's hand, "This is for Chuchu. Chuchu's winter vacation is over, and I wanted to bring her over to eat at the store, but you wouldn't let her. How can she be as comfortable as living with her mother after staying at your brother and sister-in-law's house for so many days? This is a token of my love, a compensation for the child. While the store on the street is still open these two days, Sister Geng will make some clothes for the child.
Besides, there aren't many customers at the beginning of the year, so we don't need that many people. When Sister Hou comes first, you can rest at home for a few more days, and I can pay you a few days less. This is also a bribe in advance to save money for myself! "
"Xiao Zhao, you..." Sister Geng was speechless after hearing these words. She shook her head and simply gave up refusing. She accepted the red envelope and patted Zhao Xiaojing's hand.
"Chuchu is already in the first year of high school, and school will start on the tenth day of the first lunar month. His father's relatives are not very good, so we don't plan to waste time visiting them. Guihua and I have already agreed that I will take Chuchu with me to keep her company during the New Year this year. Don't worry, I have time to spend with her. I understand your kindness, and I will shamelessly accept the red envelope. Guihua and I will come together when the time comes. The store is doing so well, and I don't know when Xiao Lu will be able to come over for the opening. If I don't come, how will you be able to come?"
"That's right! Don't worry, Xiao Zhao. I'm here to take care of the mother and daughter. I'm also too impatient to deal with those annoying relatives. Maybe if it weren't for Lao Geng, I wouldn't go back! The three of us can just keep each other company. Although my old house is old, it's convenient everywhere. It's okay!" Hou Guihua patted her chest, as if to assure Zhao Xiaojing.
Zhao Xiaojing was relieved to see that the two had made plans and that their school schedules wouldn't conflict with the opening of the business. "That's fine, I'm relieved that you two have made plans. We'll all work hard and try to buy a house in Jiangcheng in a few years. If we can't afford to rent, we'll rent a bigger place! Since none of us have any family, we can all stay home and celebrate the New Year together in Jiangcheng!"
When Hou Guihua and Geng Mingyan heard this, their eyes lit up.
…
"Are you really coming so early for the New Year?" As soon as they got home in the cold wind, Su Yuchen couldn't wait to take Zhao Xiaojing's arm and ask.
"Yes, I don't have many relatives to visit. You know, the only ones who still consider me a relative are my third aunt and her family. But you know my third aunt, she's a good person from afar, but not up close. Sister Yanyan said that if you smile for the first three days after returning home, you'd better not show up in front of her at all on the fourth day. I used to have a rental house, but now that the house is gone, I can only live in her house when I return to Yangcheng. Living there for too long is not good, I don't feel comfortable.
It's just that this is my first year, so I have to go back to see her so she doesn't worry. Also, I have to tell her about my third uncle. Maybe I won't go back for the New Year in the future." Zhao Xiaojing smiled faintly.
In her previous life, there was no New Year atmosphere and she only had to deal with family matters for too many years. She had long lost her expectations for the New Year.
She has never been married in this life. Although she no longer has a house full of hypocritical relatives who are not in harmony with her, she still feels very stressed when facing Dong Mei.
This kind of pressure is no longer a sense of indebtedness - at least she paid Dong Mei back an extra ten thousand yuan, and now she is getting better and better. She is also sure that she will be able to help Dong Mei's family in the future. When it comes to repaying, her heart has gradually become calm.
Rather, it comes from the way Dong Mei has interacted with her and the younger generations since childhood. Even though they love and care for each other, it has never been easy or warm. Instead, it is oppressive and powerful.
Although Zhao Xiaojing understood her suffering and her strong personality, she also understood that she was strong towards herself because she believed in her heart that it was for her own good.
But her heart felt exactly as Sister Yanyan had told her: "You know she's truly good to you, and you know her methods are wrong, but she doesn't understand. She'll never admit she makes mistakes. It's useless to tell her; she won't listen. She even thinks you're mentally ill. So even though she's doing her best to love me and give me what she thinks is good, she doesn't understand me at all, and I'll never be able to feel close to her emotionally."
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