Do you think I want to do this?
Before opening the envelope, Chen Xing had indeed imagined what would be written inside, but he had not yet thought of it being a love letter.
It was just that Wen Yu suddenly brought it up himself, and Chen Xing was obviously panicked. If it was really a love letter, how should she react?
Wen Yu looked at Chen Xing and saw that he was actually thinking. Then he said, "Don't worry, it's not a love letter. Open it and take a look."
Wen Yu felt a little disappointed by Chen Xing's hesitation, but he was not disappointed, because he knew they were just friends.
Before today, Chen Xing only treated him as a classmate, but now he can feel that Chen Xing has opened his heart to him. Although it is only a small step, there is still a lot of room for improvement. Wen Yu is already very satisfied.
Chen Xing couldn't remember why he hesitated just now, but his mind suddenly went blank and there was nothing.
Chen Xing didn't dare to look into Wen Yu's eyes. He just lowered his head and tore open the envelope. There was really no letter inside, let alone a love letter.
Chen Xing took out the contents, and her eyes lit up when she saw them. "It's a specimen of ginkgo leaf."
Wen Yu hadn't expected that Chen Xing would be so happy to receive this gift. After all, it was his first time making it, and it looked a bit ugly, with uneven edges and corners, and even the ginkgo leaves were placed crookedly.
Wen Yu: "Last time you said you liked ginkgo leaves. I remember you loved sitting under that tree at school, so I took a leaf and made it into a specimen."
Chen Xing was very happy. She didn't think the specimen looked ugly. She just liked the unique and one-of-a-kind ginkgo leaf inside.
Chen Xing: "It's the leaf of the ginkgo tree in school. This is its last leaf. I like it very much and will definitely keep it well."
Chen Xing liked it so much that he wanted to hold the ginkgo leaf specimen in his hand and didn't want to let it be exposed to the wind and sun.
Wen Yu watched Chen Xing protect it like a treasure, and he was happier than her.
*
In the evening, Chen Xing returned home and changed his shoes at the door with a happy smile on his face, "I'm back."
Today is the weekend, Chen Hai and Gao Yamei are at home, but Chen Xing didn't hear them respond to her voice, and even felt that something was weird at home.
Without thinking much, Chen Xing changed into slippers and walked out of the entrance to the inner room. She wanted to go back to her room directly, but she only heard eerie sounds coming from the living room.
Gao Yamei had been sitting on the sofa in the living room waiting for Chen Xing to come back, "Chen Xing, come here!"
Chen Xing was still thinking about his own things when he suddenly heard Gao Yamei's unprecedentedly loud voice. He turned around and saw her looking like she was about to accuse him.
The smile on Chen Xing's face disappeared and he said expressionlessly, "Mom, do you have something to talk to me about?"
Chen Xing faced Gao Yamei who was sitting towards her, with Chen Hai standing behind her, seeming to want to say something but unable to.
Chen Xing didn't see Chen Yue, but she was already very clear about the situation. Her parents wanted to hold Chen Yue accountable, but Chen Yue was in her room. After all, every time Chen Xing got into trouble, no one would speak for her.
Gao Yamei pointed at a drawing paper on the ground with a cold expression and said, "Chen Xing, you've been fiddling with these useless things behind our backs again. Did I ever tell you not to draw anymore? The most important thing for you now is studying!"
Chen Xing just noticed that her sketchbook was stepped on by Gao Yamei. It was the sketchbook that she had not had time to take out of the house. The paintings in it were the results of her hard work for a long time, and she had not yet given it to Ji Wenyin for review.
Chen Xing saw that his most precious things were ruthlessly thrown on the ground by Gao Yamei, and she even tore off several pages. The torn papers were like Chen Xing's broken heart.
Chen Xing didn't say anything, but just shed tears silently in grievance, kneeling on the ground to pick up the scraps of paper.
Chen Xing: "It doesn't matter, I can still put it together and draw it again..."
Chen Xing choked up and persuaded himself that he could continue, which made Gao Yamei feel that he was disobedient.
Gao Yamei, with the arrogance of a superior, said to Chen Xing, who was picking up scraps of paper on the ground, "Chen Xing, did you hear me clearly? These things have nothing to do with you. Can you be a little more obedient and sensible so that I don't have to worry about you?"
Chen Xing's tears fell to the ground like a dam bursting, and finally landed on the drawing paper, smudged the paint on it, and the broken things could no longer be put together.
Just like her wounded heart, even if it heals, it will always leave scars that will always remind her of what she has been through.
Chen Xing wiped away her tears, but they couldn't be wiped away completely, and her vision was always blurry.
She suddenly stood up and wanted to defend herself. She had finally found her own strengths and decided to stick to it, but one day it was declared meaningless.
Every time Chen Xing regained a little confidence, she was always beaten into hell by them. Why did they treat her like this?
Chen Xing stumbled to his feet, his eyes bloodshot as he faced Gao Yamei's accusations, "You always tell me to be good, obedient, and sensible, but every time I compromise and live according to your wishes, I'm also a human being and deserve a little respect. But every time you make me feel like I'm useless and don't need to do anything."
"I am also your daughter. I am not anyone's foil. I also want to have my own future, but you never gave me a chance to choose. Even if you asked me if I wanted it to be like this, just asked my wishes once, I would not have become like this."
"Do you think I don't want to be the pride of you and Dad? Do you think I want to live like this? Do you think I want to come into this world? I don't want to at all, not at all."
"You gave me life, so should I be grateful for your kindness? Thank you for letting me see the world, thank you for letting me be a human being? Why should I thank someone who doesn't love me at all?"
"If you only want an obedient and sensible child, then I will never be the child you want. I am a person with my own thoughts. I am not a machine that can be driven at will by you."
"I know you and Dad have put a lot of effort and worry into my illness. I've been a burden to you since I was born. My illness has cost you a lot of money. Even 70% of the family's money is spent on me."
"I've always known your difficulties and never asked for anything, but do you think I just want this? Have you ever asked me how much I'm suffering?"
"I'm obviously concerned about your preference for my sister, and I'm even more jealous of everything she has, but I hate myself even more for being a burden to you."
“There are times when I wish I had never been born.”
"You should have strangled me to death the day I was born. That way, I wouldn't be a burden to you and you wouldn't have such a hard time."
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