suicide note
Fu Ying stood up and walked to Chen Xing, holding her in her arms as she curled up on the chair. She was also very sad about Chen Tian's death, but all she could do was to take care of the funeral arrangements that she had entrusted to her.
Chen Xing is the one Chen Tian can't let go of the most. Fu Ying also has feelings for Chen Tian that she can't let go of. She treats Chen Xing as her own sister.
Fu Ying thought about the last time she saw Chen Tian. She should have thought of it earlier, but she didn't have time to stop it. It seemed that God did not leave Chen Tian the chance to save himself or even be saved by him.
Fu Ying said, "A few months ago, at the old lady's funeral, his aunt made a scene, insisting on seeing the money. Chen Tian's parents owed her 600,000 yuan, and she refused to leave until she got the money. She made a scene in front of the door every day, and the villagers often watched her make a scene."
"Chen Tian's parents are so concerned about their reputation and they favor Chen Tian's eldest brother, so the burden on Chen Tian has become heavier and heavier, and he's almost breathless. He works hard day and night, sleeping less than four hours a day. He works at the express delivery station during the day and has various part-time jobs at night, such as waiter, dishwasher, and deliveryman... He finally saved up 100,000 yuan, but..."
When Fu Ying said this, her voice became choked. She was the only one who knew how Chen Tian got through those days.
She looked at his increasingly thin figure, and her words of persuasion were stuck on her lips. They were both children without happy families, and both had people they cared about and wanted to protect. They would rather suffer a little and be tired than let the other party know.
But Chen Tian's life was truly too bitter, so bitter that he barely tasted sweetness. All he had was oppression, burdens, and betrayal...
Chen Xing leaned her head on Fu Ying. She listened quietly with a dull expression, but she felt an indescribable pain in her heart that could not be described in words.
Fu Ying swallowed the bitterness that welled up in her heart and continued, "The money he had saved with great difficulty was swindled away by Wang Shan..."
Chen Xing suddenly reacted. She looked up and saw Fu Ying's struggling and painful expression and asked, "Wang Shan?"
Chen Xing still had some impression of Wang Shan. She remembered that Wang Shan was Chen Tian’s girlfriend. Chen Xing didn’t like her and even felt that she was not nice to Chen Tian at all.
Fu Ying nodded gently and said, "Wang Shan betrayed Chen Tian. She fell in love with a senior in college. That senior was very good at coaxing girls and used sweet words to get a lot of money from Wang Shan. Later, when Wang Shan's own money was gone, she cheated Chen Tian out of the 100,000 yuan he had saved with great difficulty. When Chen Tian found out, he spent all the money on another man."
Wang Shan's so-called love at first sight for Chen Tian was nothing more than lust at first sight. Chen Tian could not say sweet words, nor did he have the ability to give her a better material life. He only had a sincere heart that she despised.
After a long time, Wang Shan saw someone better, but she couldn't bear to leave Chen Tian, so she played with two men at the same time. She also took it for granted that she accepted Chen Tian's kindness and used his money to support other men.
This is unacceptable to anyone, not to mention that Chen Tian had spent his energy, physical strength and mental effort to save up money for several months. Not only did he not get it back, he also suffered a great humiliation.
"When Chen Tian is good, he's impeccable. When he's stupid, it makes you want to smash his head off."
Fu Ying felt both amused and helpless about Chen Tian. She never expected that he would repay her with kindness.
"Not only did he not care, he didn't even want the money. Isn't he incredibly stupid?"
When Chen Xing heard this, he smiled bitterly. Tears flowed to the corners of his mouth and into his mouth. He took a bite and it was bitter.
Fu Ying herself was in tears and was telling jokes, but she couldn't laugh at all.
"He... eventually... was forced to sell his kidney. Chen Rong pushed him too hard, and his parents put all the pressure on him. He had no choice but to sell his kidney for one million."
When Chen Xing heard the news, she never knew that Chen Tian had hidden so many things from her. When he went to the hospital to see her, he was already exhausted and looked very thin, but she didn't take it to heart and even asked him to comfort her.
Chen Xing's suppressed sobs gradually grew louder. How much had she missed? Why didn't he tell her? He had experienced such a desperate thing, why didn't she know anything about it...
Fu Ying knew that Chen Xing was upset. She patted her back gently and said, "Cry. It will feel better after crying."
All of Chen Xing's suppressed emotions surged up at this moment, and his heart-wrenching cries were far more than the pain in his heart.
"Your brother wanted to hold on a little longer. He paid back the money and has been insisting on dialysis treatment. He goes to the hospital for dialysis three times a week, but he still can't recover his former health. His health is getting worse and worse. He has lost his kidneys, and toxins in his body are constantly accumulating. He can only rely on dialysis to stay alive. Despite this, he still persists."
"When he came back from visiting you in the hospital that day, I remember he was full of fighting spirit again, even smiling as he spoke. He told me he was leaving and wanted to take you to a better city farther away. I can still remember the light in his eyes at that time, so bright and beautiful. I thought the hardship was about to end, but in the end it was still hell."
Chen Xing excitedly pulled Fu Ying's arm and asked, "Why? Why did he leave me?"
Chen Xing thought that Chen Tian didn't take seriously what she said to him in the hospital that night, but she didn't expect that he listened to her and wanted to leave with her, but why didn't he come to pick her up?
Fu Ying soothed Chen Xing's excited heart and said, "Don't get excited, take a deep breath, and listen to me slowly."
Fu Ying told Chen Xing all this because she was afraid that she couldn't bear it, so she kept paying attention to Chen Xing's emotions. She couldn't let it relapse again, and she didn't know if she would be so lucky next time.
Chen Xing wiped away her tears and tried to calm herself down until her heartbeat slowed down a little.
Fu Ying then said, "Chen Tian's parents discovered the money he hid. That was his life-saving money, and it was also the guarantee he wanted to leave for you."
Chen Tian has lost his kidneys, so he can't work or be tired. He also has to go to the hospital three times a week, which costs a lot each time. He doesn't know how long he can last with the remaining 400,000 yuan.
Chen Tian didn't want to drag Chen Xing down with him. He realized that his body was in too much of a deficit and that he would die sooner or later unless he had a kidney transplant. Dialysis could sustain his life, but he would have to rely on dialysis for the rest of his life, which would be a burden for both him and Chen Xing.
But Chen Xing wanted him to take her away from here, and he also wanted to start over, but fate turned to the bad side.
Chen Feng had a child, but he still relied on his parents at home. Raising a child cost more money. When they found out that Chen Tian was hiding money, they kept forcing him to take it all out.
Chen Tian paid them back 300,000 yuan and would never give them another penny. Finally, he was forced into a desperate situation. After arranging everything, he chose to end his life. He didn't want to drag Chen Xing down, nor did he want to be exploited anymore. He left Chen Xing a way out, but she had to walk this road alone.
After Chen Xing knew all this, she felt nothing but heartache and regret. She hated herself for not being able to get Chen Tian's kindness, why couldn't she care about him more, and what hurt her the most was that he had done so much without telling her.
When she was sad, Chen Tian would try his best to make her happy, but when Chen Tian was sad, she didn't even know it and had never felt his pain.
So the best ending for a person is to sacrifice his life?
He didn't even ask her about her wishes, and didn't even let her know, but he arranged everything for her. What if she also wanted to leave with him? Wouldn't he be afraid of being alone on the road to the underworld?
Chen Xing owes Chen Tian too much, and she can never repay him in this life. She only hopes that in the next life she will do everything she can to protect him.
Chen Xing cried bitterly, venting all the emotions that had been pent up in her heart, and she felt better.
Fu Ying gave Chen Xing the medicine before giving her the suicide note that Chen Tian left for her.
Chen Xing sat on the hospital bed, holding the crumpled piece of letter paper in her hand. It was obviously very light, so why did it feel so heavy to her?
Fu Ying said, "This is the bank card he asked me to pass on to you. There's less than 300,000 yuan left in it. He said it wasn't much, but this is the only thing he can give you in the end."
Fu Ying put the bank card beside the bed. She had completed everything Chen Tian asked her to do. Chen Tian would rest in peace over there, but what should Chen Xing do in the future?
Fu Ying no longer disturbed Chen Xing from reading the letter. She left the ward, leaving Chen Xing with space to miss Chen Tian. She stayed outside the door. She could not forget what happened to Chen Tian these days. She always felt that everything happened too suddenly, but not unexpectedly.
Chen Xing opened the suicide note with trembling hands. Something she had never dared to imagine would actually appear in her hands.
When she saw Chen Tian's handwriting, she felt a long-lost sense of familiarity. It had only been less than two years since Chen Tian left school, so why was his handwriting so crooked?
Chen Xing felt a bitter taste in his mouth. He must have felt very reluctant when he wrote this letter.
Chen Xing's vision was blocked by tears. She wiped her tears and carefully read the last words he wanted to leave for her.
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To my beloved sister:
Chen Xing, when you read this letter, I will no longer be here. I know you are sad, but don't grieve over my departure for too long. Although I can no longer be by your side, I will protect you in another way...
I'm so sorry that I can't live with you anymore. I didn't expect that I didn't do what I promised you. But I always believe that my sister can take care of herself. Don't forget what you promised me. Don't hurt yourself again, and don't... Forget it, girls are made of water. Tears can contain sadness and happiness. I hope the tears you shed in the future will be of happiness.
I am gone now. You should be nicer to yourself. If you feel sad, just eat a piece of candy. If one is not enough, then have two.
…
Okay, I can’t say any more. This piece of paper is not enough. I’m afraid if I continue... I’m afraid I just don’t want to... Okay, no more nonsense. One last word, Chen Xing, take the money I left for you and go as far as you can.
Chen Tian's last words
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After Chen Xing finished reading the densely written letter, her tears wet the paper. The louder she cried, the pain in her heart did not ease at all.
"Brother, you always say that if you have wings you can fly farther, but my wings are broken and I can't fly anymore."
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