terminal illness
Wen Yu was the first to put down the cup in his hand. Wen Songnian had been watching Wen Yu's movements, as if the similar situation of letting go of the cup would happen again. This had become a conditioned reflex.
Even though Wen Songnian didn't drink the water, he still held the cup in his hand, feeling that this would provide a point of support for the subsequent conversation.
Even if he tried hard, he couldn't see.
Wen Yu suddenly raised his eyes and looked at Wen Songnian, saying, "You and Doctor Zhao are old acquaintances. Ever since my mother passed away, you have arranged a physical examination for me every year. Doctor Zhao has always reviewed my physical examination reports, right?"
Wen Songnian knew he couldn't escape Wen Yu's interrogation, so he nodded and said, "Old Zhao and I met because of your mother's illness. He was the doctor who diagnosed your mother and is also your mother's attending physician in China."
Wen Yu was not surprised to hear what Wen Songnian said, as he had expected it.
Wen Yu continued to ask: "You took my physical examination report to see Doctor Zhao today. What did he say?"
After Wen Yu finished speaking, he did not move his eyes away, always watching to see how Wen Songnian would react.
Wen Songnian was obviously panicked, and his rapid blinking showed that the situation was not optimistic.
Wen Songnian hesitated to speak, but Wen Yu said, "Dad, it's already this late, do you think you can still hide it from me?"
Wen Songnian sighed and put the cup in his hand on the coffee table.
Wen Songnian said, "Xiao Yu, I know you've read a lot of medical books and like to study medicine. You should know that ALS is hereditary, right?"
Wen Songnian did not point it out directly, but asked a question in return, which just told Wen Yu that he was at risk of getting sick.
As early as when Wen Yu knew that Ji Wenshu had ALS, he had a premonition that he would inherit her disease. When he heard Wen Songnian's description of the first stage of ALS, his guess was even more likely to come true.
Wen Yu suddenly lowered his head and his eyes fell on his hands. On the surface, there seemed to be nothing abnormal. His fingers were very sensitive and he could clench his fists tightly. But in fact, those early symptoms had already appeared on his hands several times.
Wen Songnian was afraid that Wen Yu would overthink it and that he wouldn't be able to accept it, so he said, "Xiao Yu, don't worry for now. It might be a misdiagnosis."
"Your Uncle Zhao said that a single physical examination alone won't guarantee a 100% diagnosis. Further tests are needed. It might not be possible today. It's a bit late. Let's wait until tomorrow. I'll accompany you to the hospital for a checkup tomorrow. Then..."
Wen Yu suddenly interrupted in a cold voice: "No need."
Wen Songnian was frightened by Wen Yu's voice. He couldn't see the expression on Wen Yu's face, but he could imagine that it would be difficult for him to accept such a result.
Wen Songnian didn't know what to say. He really hoped it was just a misdiagnosis.
Wen Yu was silent for a moment, then raised his head to look at Wen Songnian's stunned eyes and said, "No need to check again. I think I have ALS. I have experienced all the early symptoms you mentioned."
When Wen Songnian heard Wen Yu's confident words, his fingers trembled slightly and his lips shook.
Wen Songnian became emotional and wanted to persuade Wen Yu to rest assured, but he was also trying to calm his own uneasy heart.
"Xiao Yu, you're not a doctor, so how can you tell that your condition is ALS? It could be something else. It's all possible. We'll go see your Uncle Zhao tomorrow. He'll arrange a more professional examination, and we'll all listen to him."
Wen Yu didn't want to tell Wen Songnian the news. He also hoped that he just had ordinary muscle weakness, or it was a misdiagnosis, but there was no such coincidence. If he didn't know about Ji Wenshu's illness, perhaps anything was possible, but now all possibilities have become certain.
Wen Yu shouted, "Dad, calm down. When you arranged the physical examination for me, didn't you already think about this day?"
"When you came back that day, didn't you see me drop the teacup in my hand?"
"Actually, you know I wasn't careless, it's just that you don't dare to accept it."
When Wen Songnian heard Wen Yu's words, he grabbed his hair with both hands, sighed deeply, and felt helpless.
Wen Songnian calmed down and asked, "How long has this been going on?"
Wen Yu thought for a moment before answering, "I don't remember when it started, but it's not the first time."
Wen Yu couldn't remember the first time his hand muscles became weak, but he could accurately say that it had happened several times, and each time it was more difficult to ignore the stinging and atrophy.
Wen Songnian tried hard to keep his emotions under control because he knew that Wen Yu was feeling worse than him.
Wen Songnian grabbed his hair with both hands, not knowing what else to do. God had already taken away his beloved wife, and now he wanted his son to go through the same pain and torture his mother had suffered. Who was this a double blow to?
Wen Songnian believed that he had never done anything wrong in his life. He even did a lot of charity and helped many families, but why couldn't he help himself?
Wen Yu looked expressionless and calm, but in fact he was just holding on. After all, he was still a high school student who had just turned eighteen and was about to face the farewell of life and death.
He had just learned how his mother passed away after enduring untold suffering, and before he could properly digest this information, it was his turn.
Although Wen Yu was afraid, afraid of the illness he was about to suffer, he would gradually change from a lively boy to a man who could not lift his hands, could not walk, and even had to rely on machines to eat and breathe. He could only lie on the hospital bed every day, looking at the ceiling, counting the days. Apart from taking a breath, what was the difference between that and being dead?
Even so, he felt more sorry for his father.
He hasn't collapsed yet, he's worried that Wen Songnian will be unable to bear it before him.
Wen Yu sat next to Wen Songnian and patted his back again with his large palm, giving him warm strength.
Wen Yu said slowly: "Dad, I'm in good condition now. If you don't pay close attention, you won't feel anything unusual. There's nothing to worry about. I've accepted it."
Wen Songnian heard Wen Yu's words in his ears. He should have been the one to comfort Wen Yu and tell him not to be afraid, but now it was he who had to comfort him. He was such a failure as a father.
Wen Songnian smiled at Wen Yu and said, "Xiao Yu, Dad is fine. Don't worry. I will be with you from now on. As long as we actively treat it, you are still young and will definitely get better."
Wen Yu nodded. He knew that he would not get better. ALS is a terrible, incurable, degenerative disease of the nervous system, which is what people often call a terminal illness.
*
At noon, Wen Songnian personally made a bowl of Yangchun noodles for Wen Yu. Yangchun noodles were his specialty and he only knew how to make this dish. Because Ji Wenshu loved it, he specially invited a professional chef to learn how to make this bowl of noodles.
Wen Songnian brought out the largest bowl and handed it to Wen Yu, saying, "Try it and see how it tastes. I haven't cooked for a long time, so my cooking skills are a bit rusty."
When Ji Wenshu was still alive, Wen Songnian would always make this bowl of noodles for her on those days when she was not convenient. Ji Wenshu was very happy every time she ate it. Since she passed away, Wen Songnian never made Yangchun noodles again, because a bowl of noodles carries too much of his and Ji Wenshu's past.
Wen Yu picked up his chopsticks, took a bite, and nodded, "It's still as delicious as before."
Wen Songnian smiled, and the father and son sat at the dining table and ate a simple but heartwarming meal of Yangchun noodles.
After lunch, Wen Songnian received a call from Li Cong, who said that there was an important meeting and he had to attend.
Wen Songnian didn't want to leave Wen Yu. He had been busy with the company's overseas business in recent years and rarely spent time with Wen Yu.
But now Wen Yu needs someone to accompany him the most, and he doesn't want to leave anymore.
Wen Songnian scolded Li Cong on the phone. This was the first time Wen Yu saw Wen Songnian working.
Wen Songnian is a decisive and efficient boss outside, but he never puts on airs at home.
In Wen Yu's heart, his father is not good at expressing himself but he loves him very much, and he is also a reserved and introverted father.
Wen Yu knocked on the door of Wen Songnian's study. Wen Songnian knew it was Wen Yu, so he let him in.
Wen Yu said, "Dad, I'm fine at home alone. If you're busy, go ahead and do yours first."
Wen Songnian had deliberately lowered his voice when he made the call just now, but he didn't expect that Wen Yu still heard it.
Wen Songnian said: "It's just a small meeting, it doesn't matter if you don't go."
Wen Songnian is dedicated to his work. Although his company supports thousands of families, his own family is also important.
Wen Yu said, "Dad, do you know? You hold a very high image in my heart."
"Whenever people ask me about you, I always tell them that you are a wonderful and dedicated father."
Wen Yu rarely praised Wen Songnian like this, but he was really happy to hear it.
Wen Songnian smiled, reached out and patted Wen Yu on the shoulder, and said, "Okay, stop flattering me, I'll go."
Wen Yu smiled and helped Wen Songnian organize the documents on the desk, folding them and putting them in his briefcase.
Wen Songnian put on his coat and said before leaving, "It's just a small meeting. I'll be back in the evening. I'll buy you whatever you want to eat."
Wen Yu sent Wen Songnian out and said, "Okay, I got it. I'll get back to you later. Be careful on the road."
Wen Songnian turned around, waved to Wen Yu, and left.
Wen Yu returned to the room and saw that he was alone in the house again. Wen Songnian had only been back for more than a week, and it seemed that he was no longer used to being alone.
Is it because I have been with him for too long, or is it because something has changed in his heart?
After what happened this morning, Wen Yu's mood was fluctuating wildly, sometimes good and sometimes bad, and he felt like he had no interest in anything.
For the first time in so many years, I don’t want to work hard, don’t want to do anything meaningful, and just want to waste time.
Wen Yu lay on the bed looking at the ceiling, thinking about the future in his mind. As he thought about it, he began to worry and fear.
"It turns out that knowing that death is approaching is so terrifying." Wen Yu muttered to himself, as if he was talking to himself.
Suddenly he closed his eyes and tears rolled down from the corners of his eyes. Without any preparation or warning, he started crying.
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