"All of you, perk up!" The wicked man stood on the training ground of the Grand Commandant's mansion, looking at the group of crooked "envoys" in front of him, and his head was spinning.
This "special mission," which he personally assembled, can be described as a collection of the world's most eccentric individuals.
He recruited all sorts of scoundrels, smooth-talking rogues, and fearless hotheads.
"Reporting to the Grand Commandant!" a burly man with a fierce face shouted, "We're all sore from training, can we rest for a while?"
"Pah!" the wicked man spat. "What's your name again, you brat?"
"Reporting to the Grand Commandant, my name is Chu Ping!"
"Fine, Chu Ping, is it?" the wicked man sneered. "Tell me, what will you do if Yi Yusong invites you for drinks?"
"Well..." Chu Ping scratched his head, looking rather simple-minded, "Of course, we should drink to our hearts' content first, and then..."
"Then what?"
Then he threw the wine in his face and cursed him for daring to serve his Qin grandfather horse piss!
"Hahaha..." The others immediately burst into laughter.
"What are you laughing at!" The stern husband said, his face stern, but a smile involuntarily crept onto his lips. "That's right, that's how it should be. Remember, this trip isn't a genuine visit, but rather..."
"They're looking for trouble!" everyone exclaimed in unison.
"Very good!" The wicked man nodded in satisfaction. "Looks like all this time I've been teaching you hasn't been wasted. Come, let me see what you're capable of. King Pen!"
"Here!" A skinny young man jumped out.
"What would you do if you met with the ministers who translated Song?"
Wang Pen immediately put on a smiling face: "This sir has an extraordinary bearing; he is clearly a pillar of the Baiyue people!"
"Then what?"
"And then..." Wang Pen's eyes darted around, "I said: Staying in Baiyue as a monkey is a waste of your talents, come back to Qin with us and become an official!"
"Good! That's the taste!" the wicked man laughed. "Brilliant! You're next!"
A tall, thin man stepped forward, his face radiating righteousness: "Reporting to the Grand Commandant, I am prepared. If they hold a banquet, I will have them bring out the royal concubines to serve wine and dance!"
"Yes, yes, yes!" The wicked man nodded repeatedly. "That's exactly how it should be. You represent the Great Qin; you have to let them know how powerful we are."
As he spoke, he strolled over to another person and asked with a smile, "Old Dong, what were you in charge of again?"
"Reporting to the Grand Commandant!" a weasel-faced fellow said with a grin, "I'll be in charge of 'purchasing' at their market. Don't worry, I'll drive the prices down so badly they'll be begging for mercy!"
The wicked man stroked his chin: "Remember, in my service, haggling is... robbery!"
"Don't worry, Grand Commandant!" Old Dong gestured excitedly. "First, we'll pick the best items, then haggle fiercely. If they agree, we'll slap them twice across the face and then snatch the goods away."
"Good!" The wicked man gave a thumbs up. "We've been raising an army for a thousand days to use it for one. This time, we're counting on you!"
"Reporting to the Grand Commandant!" Chu Ping suddenly raised his hand. "Shouldn't we be thinking about how to fight?"
"Fight?" The wicked man raised an eyebrow. "You've got a knack for thinking things through. But well..."
He lowered his voice: "You are all 'civilized' ambassadors, how can you so easily resort to violence? If anyone should fight, they should be the ones to strike first..."
"Understood!" Their eyes lit up. "Then we'll deliberately poke at their sore spots, making them so angry they can't help but retaliate..."
"That's right!" The wicked husband nodded with satisfaction, "But remember, when you fight, you must..."
"We lost!" everyone shouted in unison.
"That's right!" The wicked man's eyes lit up. "You're just weak scholars, how could you possibly be a match for those Southern Yue warriors? It would be best if you got beaten black and blue, that would be more convincing!"
Everyone immediately smiled knowingly.
I've practiced my skills in taking a beating a lot lately, and I'm just waiting to put on a good show.
"However..." the wicked man changed his tone, "don't forget to keep a few backup plans. Just in case we really run into danger, it'll be good for our survival, won't it?"
"Don't worry, Grand Commandant!" Wang Pen chuckled. "The guards we brought are all hand-picked; even if a fight breaks out, they won't come out on top!"
"Alright, alright," the wicked man waved his hand. "Remember this, all of you. This mission is no child's play. You must perform well and show Yi Yusong the might of our Great Qin!"
"Yes!" everyone responded in unison.
"Oh, right!" the wicked husband suddenly remembered something, "Are the gifts all prepared?"
"Reporting to the Grand Commandant," Old Dong chuckled, "we've prepared plenty of glassware, all the most fragile kind. Once we reach Nanyue, if they dare break even one... hehe!"
"You've got a lot of tricks up your sleeve, buddy," the wicked husband chuckled and scolded. "But this is a good idea. We need to show them just how precious things from Qin are."
"That's right!" Wang Pen jumped up. "If they want to buy, we'll ask for an exorbitant price. If they don't buy, we'll threaten to take away the vessels, and the King will surely blame us in the future..."
"Great idea!" the wicked man laughed heartily. "That's what we'll do! Remember, your mission this time is to make everyone in Southern Vietnam uneasy."
Just then, Zhang Erhe strode over: "Grand Commandant, the boats are all ready."
"Very well!" The wicked man nodded. "Gentlemen, before we set off, let me ask you one more question: what is the purpose of this trip to Southern Vietnam?"
"Troublemaking!"
"How infuriating!"
"Take this!"
"Then come back and complain!"
Everyone chimed in, each offering their own insightful opinions. The wicked man listened, nodding repeatedly, thinking to himself, "These guys are truly the talents I've carefully selected!"
"Alright," he said sternly, "Remember your mission. This trip to Nanyue is no ordinary diplomatic mission. You must let Yi Yusong know what the consequences are for opposing the Great Qin!"
"Yes!" everyone responded in unison.
Seeing these lively characters rubbing their hands together in anticipation, the wicked man couldn't help but sigh, thankful that he had come up with such a bizarre delegation on a whim.
But that's perfect, the more eccentric the better. Let's see if Yi Yusong can handle this bunch of clowns!
"Let's go!" he waved his hand. "Everyone, get ready. We should set off first thing tomorrow morning!"
The group left the training ground in high spirits, each one eager to get started, as if they couldn't wait to go and cause trouble in Nan Yue.
The wicked man watched their retreating figures, a slight smile playing on his lips.
You just wait and see, sending such a delegation this time is sure to make you furious!
"Let's go back and report to His Majesty," he said, turning to Zhang Erhe. "Tell him everything is ready. These rascals will definitely give Nan Yue a big 'surprise'!"
As the sun set, the wicked man stroked his chin. This was a brilliant move; now he just had to wait and see what happened!
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