alienation
Wen Yan never worried her family about her studies. In addition, Lu Wanqing and Wen Jie were parents who did not have strict requirements for their children's academic performance, so her family was not worried about her high school entrance exam at all.
Wen Zhili was so busy thinking about how to draw a line between himself and his sister without hurting her that he forgot that his sister was also a student who was about to face a major test in her life.
She is already an independent girl with ideals and vision.
Wen Yan indeed thought so.
The opportunity that made her decide to make a change was not long after the start of the third year of junior high school, when the city's key high school held an early admission test for the key classes in their school.
No one expected that Wen Yan's name would not be on the early admission list when it was announced, and Wen Yan himself did not expect it either - but it really happened.
After the shock, Wen Yan secretly thought that it must be because she had been living too "sweetly" with her sister recently that her study state had become slack...
She thought of her sister again.
Of course, Wen Zhili was admitted to the city's key high school that year.
From childhood to adulthood, she has always been the typical "other people's child" in the eyes of adults.
She has a natural talent for science, which makes her stand out in the information age.
In the fifth grade of elementary school, he was admitted to a key private junior high school in advance because of his outstanding performance in mathematics Olympiad. As soon as the third year of junior high school started, he naturally passed the early entrance examination and entered the key class of the city's key high school.
Even prestigious universities require admission through competitions.
He has good grades, is hardworking, obedient, and polite. He also has a pleasing and gentle appearance.
In fact, in Wen Yan's eyes, her sister with excellent academic performance is the most attractive to her besides her gentle sister.
At that time, her gentle features always emanated a coolness that was completely different from usual.
Wen Yan likes Wen Zhili like this.
I like my sister who used to be able to solve math problems that stumped everyone in the class in just two or three minutes.
I also like my sister now, who often sits in front of the computer and types program codes that she cannot understand.
Wen Yan grew up following her sister's footsteps, taking her school as her goal and her achievements as her ideal.
Perhaps because she had a good role model, Wen Yan later became the "other people's child" as she wished. Although her mathematical and scientific abilities were obviously not as good as Wen Zhili's, her talent in liberal arts was very outstanding.
When it comes to English, Wen Yan has always been ranked first in her grade since she was a child.
But her motivation is much simpler—to be worthy of her sister.
She not only wants to be proud of her sister, but also wants her sister to be proud of her when introducing her to others as "This is my sister."
Now that I like my elder sister, I have to get into the same high school with her so that I can have the basic confidence to stand by her side.
Wen Yan secretly made a decision.
When Wen Zhili thought about it carefully later, he also found that it seemed that Wen Yan started to change after he comforted his sister and said, "It doesn't matter, there is still a chance in the high school entrance examination" on the night his sister failed the exam.
I felt relieved, but not entirely relieved.
Since her sister no longer acts coquettishly with her, it is even less likely that Wen Zhili would take the initiative to get close to her.
When picking up his sister from school, he would still greet her with a smile and answer any questions she asked. However, he no longer took the initiative to talk about school matters, and almost never brought up topics other than questions.
On the way to and from school, Wen Yan also had to sit in the car to memorize words, and the only time the two could chat was during meals.
It was during that time that Wen Zhili discovered that his sister could eat so fast.
The two of them usually only chatted briefly at the dinner table.
One reason was that Wen Yan was afraid that if she had too much contact with her sister, she would inevitably fall into the land of tenderness and be unable to extricate herself - the state where if her sister kissed her, she would be so excited that she would hug a pillow and stay in the room for half an hour.
The second reason is that Wen Zhili himself was afraid of disturbing Wen Yan.
Wen Yan would only occasionally lie on her knees and cry, "Sister, studying is so tiring."
Before Wen Zhili's heartbeat could return to its spring rhythm, and before she could pat her head to comfort her as she used to, Wen Yan had already gotten up from her.
All he said was, "Okay, I'm going back to my room."
And a lost Wen Zhili.
Sometimes she would even get up early and go to school alone, leaving herself a note saying, "Sister, you don't have to take care of me this morning."
But if my sister no longer needs my care, what significance will I have in this family?
She fell into another unexpected panic.
Wen Zhili couldn't help but recall that he was also very busy when he was in the third year of junior high school and the third year of high school.
If mom and dad can't squeeze her out, my sister will have to take care of herself.
She remembered that time when her sister always came to her room when she was studying, without talking or making noise, just quietly staying by her side until her little head began to feel heavy little by little.
At that time, she could only take the subway with her sister to go to and from school. On the subway, she would race against time to memorize words, just like her sister does now.
Little Wenyan obediently held her sister's clothes, not crying or making a fuss, nor trying to attract her sister's attention.
So this is what it feels like.
So close, yet so missed.
It was as if the other person was only focused on running forward and had no time to look back at himself behind him.
There was a hand-woven dream catcher pendant hanging next to Wen Zhili's bed, with feathers, nut shells and other things hanging under the net.
This was done by Wen Yan when she was only 5 years old.
At that time, Wen Yan had just learned about his sister's life experience.
Wen Zhili was a little uneasy and had nightmares during that period because the old things were brought up again.
It was as if the memories that I thought were finally buried had broken out of the ground again, running into my mind every night and stirring up trouble.
In her dream, she never escaped from the mountain village. She still curled up on the cold wooden bed day after day, tortured by the pain in her body, Lin Yong's scolding and her grandmother's crying, and couldn't sleep all night long.
During those days, I would cry almost every night until I woke up.
Xiao Wenyan and Wen Zhili's rooms are very close to each other.
One night she was even woken up by her sister's crying. Recalling what she had learned about her sister a few days ago, Xiao Wenyan vaguely understood what was going on.
The next morning, while having breakfast, Xiao Wenyan took advantage of the time when her aunt was cleaning the kitchen to ask her sister, "Sister, did you have a nightmare last night?"
Wen Zhili was very surprised and wondered how she knew it, but he calmed himself down and chose not to let his sister worry.
"No, Yanyan. In this family, I won't be sad."
Wen Yan lowered his head to drink his porridge and said nothing more.
That day, the kindergarten handicraft teacher asked each child to choose a weaving craft and complete it in class.
There are woven flower baskets, woven storage boxes, and of course, dream catchers.
When the teacher first introduced these items, he explained that according to legend, dream catchers can eliminate nightmares.
So Wen Yan chose this almost without hesitation.
Wen Zhili was overjoyed to receive her sister's handmade gift. She ruffled her sister's hair several times that day.
That night, I actually didn't have any more nightmares.
Until now, the dream catcher is still hanging there.
During the time when Wen Yan was preparing for the exam, Wen Zhili began to stare at the dream catcher in a daze.
If it weren't for this dream catcher, would I be in a nightmare again?
I dreamed that my sister no longer needed me and this family no longer needed me.
Wen Zhili could do nothing except occasionally helping his sister with math problems and trying to make her breakfast and dinner meals more balanced.
Wen Yan's third year of junior high school seemed to be immersed in water.
Everything related to my sister and nothing about her was kept out.
Just like that, I continued to move forward in the midst of busyness and Wen Zhili's invisible confusion.
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