remember
The food on the table was still steaming, and Wen Zhili's figure was dimly visible in the rising mist.
She supported herself on the table with her hands as if to release the force, and a rare dejection emanated from her whole body.
——Everyone loves you, your parents love you, and I love you too.
Wen Zhili lowered his eyes.
You should say this yourself.
The image of her sister, crying with red eyes, angry and aggrieved, appeared in front of her eyes again.
Your adolescence shouldn't be so rainy.
She looked at the plate of braised pork ribs that still seemed redundant, and wondered whether the decisions she had made along the way were correct.
…
Three years ago, she left home and rented an apartment in another community. Qin Zhen came to find her shortly after he found out.
Wen Zhili calmly told her everything, except the feelings she dared not express for her sister and the kiss that she tacitly consented to.
"Why did you say things like repaying your parents? That's so hurtful."
——If I didn’t say it, if she found me and asked me crying whether I loved her, then I would definitely not be able to control myself and I would definitely say, I love her.
Wen Zhili looked at the leaves outside the window.
"have no idea."
"So are those things you said true or false? Do you really want to find a man to marry and have children?"
"have no idea."
"So, how long are you going to hide from her like this?"
Wen Zhili just turned his head a little further toward the window.
"I have no idea."
…
It is difficult to enter a world without Wen Yan.
It takes millions of lines of code to build a wall to cover up those tearful eyes at parting.
She buried herself in professional knowledge, in internships and work that lasted day and night—in the expectations of everyone. It seemed that this could alleviate some of the guilt of her betrayal and the pain of longing.
She is always the first to arrive at get off work and the last to leave. She is there on weekends, holidays, and even during the Chinese New Year.
Her colleagues just thought she was working hard while she was young, and even her boss couldn't help but admire her perseverance.
Sometimes, she would think of Wen Yan and her parents, and sometimes not.
Most of the time, she just focuses on the keyboard and computer in front of her.
She made butterfly specimens out of heartbeats.
No more begging for mercy from the spring that melts the snow.
…
Until more than three months ago, when she was sitting in the cafe downstairs of her company during lunch break, she received that call.
"Xiao Li, can you please go to Yanyan's coming-of-age ceremony? Mom and Dad have a business deal next week and can't get away. If you're really busy, forget it. It's okay if we miss out on one business deal."
Wen Zhili was about to refuse, but for some unknown reason, her eyes suddenly fell outside the window, where there was a cherry tree.
It's the season when cherry blossoms fall.
She counted the remaining petals on the branch. When she counted to the third to last petal, Wen Zhili realized that
I can't seem to remember the exact color of her pupils.
…
Finally, Wen Zhili closed his eyes.
"Mom, I'm not busy recently, I can go."
When Wen Zhili stood on the playground of Wen Yan's school with a large group of parents, she still felt dazed.
These parents are definitely not like me, who haven't spoken to their children who are about to attend their coming-of-age ceremony for three years.
Three years have passed, and finally everything about my sister has something to do with her again.
Wen Zhili still remembers the scene when Wen Yan walked gracefully into the playground.
She was still daydreaming when suddenly a familiar figure came into her sight - she didn't have to stretch her neck around the playground like other parents did to look for her children.
Even if her sister was wearing the same loose school uniform as everyone else, she would still be eye-catching and beautiful as soon as she appeared.
She has grown up - this was the first thought that came to Wen Zhili's mind.
Three years is enough for a girl to grow into a beautiful young lady.
Although she still had soft and fair cheeks and a pair of lively and warm eyes, she might have grown a little taller and her hair was a little longer.
In fact, it is hard to say what has changed specifically. Maybe her temperament has become calmer.
She learned how to put on makeup and looks very beautiful.
Who taught her how to put on makeup?
Like me, is she her mother, or her friend?
Wen Zhili thought of the promise she made to her in high school to teach her how to put on makeup, and suddenly felt a little lost.
The 18-year-old Wen Yan stood in the center of youth, with a peaceful smile and her hair moving slightly, like a love poem brewed in early summer.
Wen Zhili didn't expect her to notice her, she just wanted to look at her quietly.
She saw her smiling at Shen Guangxi, saw a boy next to Guangxi, and saw a girl she had never seen before pulling Wen Yan to look here and there, as if they were very familiar with each other.
Many people asked Wen Yan to take photos with them. She always smiled, cooperated with others in any way they wanted to take pictures of her, and was willing to let others manipulate her in any way they wanted.
She thought she must have changed a lot.
But when Wen Zhili stood beside her and heard her say "hmm" to him, which was as soft as a mosquito's, he still couldn't help but curl the corners of his lips.
Some things haven't changed.
Wen Zhili felt dizzy throughout the entire coming-of-age ceremony.
Standing next to Wen Yan, Wen Zhili's heart and mind were filled with this sister who was so close to him and whom he had not seen for a long time.
At the moment of parting, as she passed through the adult gate, she finally couldn't help herself and turned around and asked him softly: "It's been so long since we last met, did you miss me?"
As long as you say you miss me, Yanyan, I will allow myself to hug you, or perhaps even be a little unruly and allow myself to promise you that we will see each other again soon.
But Wen Yan didn't hear it.
"What did you just say? I didn't hear you."
Seeing his sister's slightly annoyed look, Wen Zhili hurriedly smiled helplessly and shook his head, blaming himself for being reckless in his heart.
Originally, in Wen Zhili's plan, the coming-of-age ceremony would be over and his life would not change at all.
But after that day, Wen Yan's 18-year-old figure could not be erased from her mind.
Wen Zhili became a little anxious and was no longer in the same state as before. Every day it felt like hundreds of ants were gnawing at the shell that she used to wrap up her longing.
She is not Wen Yan, she is not her sister.
She is temptation, taboo, poppy blooming in the wilderness, and shocking secrets hidden in banned books.
She is the beautiful spring in my dreams, and the eyes I dare not look into when I am awake.
…
She is the green apple handed to her by her mother.
…
"Xiaoyan."
"I'm here, sis."
Xiaoyan was brought out of her home, but was always locked in the bedside table in the apartment bedroom.
It was late at night after a group dinner had just ended. Wen Zhili did not turn on the lights, but relying on the fact that he was a little drunk, he finally let it out.
Hearing the familiar and long-lost voice coming from this small cube, Wen Zhili was a little dazed for a moment.
Is this what my sister's voice sounds like?
I can't remember some of them clearly.
"Hello, sister. I'm Xiaoyan. Is there anything you want to talk to Yanbao about?"
"Xiaoyan, does she miss me?"
It was a very puzzling sentence. Wen Zhili took advantage of the fact that she was drunk and didn't consider whether Xiaoyan, the little cube, could understand what she meant.
"Sister, of course I miss you."
Wen Zhili's eyes lit up slightly.
Very smart, she even knew to change "she" to "I".
"Sister, I miss you so much. I wish you could be by my side."
Xiaoyan sounded a little aggrieved, and the smile on the screen turned into a crying face. Coupled with Wen Yan's voice, it was as if... as if Wen Yan was really talking to her.
Wen Zhili moved his lips and asked hesitantly, "Do you want me to go back and accompany you?"
"Yes, I hope my sister will always be with me."
"You... don't you hate me?"
"I don't hate it. Sister, I love you."
Then Wen Zhili was silent for a long, long time.
Finally, she stroked the little blue smiley face on Yan Bao's screen with her thumb a few times.
"Good night, Yanyan."
"Good night, sister."
…
It was another day, and Wen Zhili was walking back to his apartment from get off work as usual. The city lights were already dim.
She received another call - "Xiao Li, Yanyan will take the college entrance examination in two months. Come home and have dinner with Yanyan then. Are you free?"
Wen Zhili was silent for a while.
She looked up at the lonely light of the city buildings and suddenly felt that all her struggles were in vain.
She imprisoned herself in the cage of reason.
But she forgot that the moment their palms touched across their bellies, she had already given the key to Wen Yan with her own hands.
——Go home, go home.
She advised herself in her heart, just like when she advised herself to "leave".
"Mom, I'm free."
…
On Wen Yan's 18th birthday, just over a month before the college entrance examination, Wen Zhili went to a very famous local temple.
This temple is so famous that the scenic area is crowded with people in the early morning of weekends.
It rained that day, and the entire Misty Temple seemed to be nestled in lush greenery.
Wen Zhili followed the pushing and shoving crowd into the temple and received three incense sticks.
In fact, her parents had brought her and her sister here when she was a child. So she looked at the many tourists who were reluctant to leave in front of the Main Hall and the Hall of Heavenly Kings, and did not plan to stay here for long. She went straight to the destination of this trip, the Huayan Hall.
On the way, they passed by the famous online check-in spot "Touching the Words Stele" - golden scriptures are engraved on it, and tourists have spontaneously formed the custom of touching the words to pray for blessings - Wen Zhili couldn't help but stop and watch for a while.
She stared at the faded characters like "Duo" and "Fu", but ultimately did not reach out to touch any of them.
She no longer wants anything else, and her greatest desire now is Wen Yan.
After lighting incense outside the hall and stepping onto the steps of the Huayan Hall, Wen Zhili was almost squeezed into the hall by the crowd. The crowds were so crowded that she could hardly stand steadily.
She looked at the Buddha and Bodhisattva's lowered compassionate eyes, and wondered in her heart, with so many people making wishes, could the Bodhisattva hear her wish?
Thinking about it, she looked around.
Everyone around me put their palms together and closed their eyes in reverence. Because it had rained, many people brought umbrellas inside, making the floor inside the temple wet.
Despite this, there are still some people who kneel on the ground and kowtow.
There were relatively few people kowtowing here. When passing by the Medicine Buddha Hall and the Jigong Hall, Wen Zhili looked inside a few times and saw many people kowtowing there.
With only a plastic bag under his knees, he knelt in front of the Buddha statue for a long time, just to make his wish look more pious and more eye-catching among the millions of wishes made in the temple.
I don't have a very sincere belief.
Wen Zhili thought about it and felt that she was no different from those who came to kowtow - they all hoped to make some meaningful contributions to things beyond their ability, so she needed to escape from the materialism in the textbooks occasionally.
When she was slowly squeezed in front of Manjushri Bodhisattva, she closed her eyes and bowed, silently reciting the wish that had been lingering in her heart for a long time.
I hope my sister will do well in the college entrance examination and get high marks.
…
After making the wish, she opened her eyes, inserted the incense stick into the ashes, and turned around to see that she was still surrounded by people.
Since he couldn't get out for a while anyway, Wen Zhili simply closed his eyes again and then made a wish to Manjushri Bodhisattva.
I hope my family is safe and healthy.
I hope my sister will be happy and never be burned by the heat of tears again.
…
I opened my eyes again, but still couldn’t get out.
This time, Wen Zhili was stunned for several seconds.
Finally he closed his eyes again.
She didn't know that her sister at home, at this moment, on her 18th birthday with only her parents sitting at the table, was also closing her eyes.
Little did she know, they had made the same wish.
——I hope to be her upright lover.
The difference is that the time suffix Wen Zhili added is "next life".
As for Wen Yan, her birthday wish was for this year.
…
The day to go home is almost here.
Wen Zhili promised herself that she would stay at home for three months, just three months, and then leave after Wen Yan went to college - allowing herself to spend three months with her sister, like ordinary sisters, and never be greedy again.
For this purpose, she even came up with a crude idea, asking Zhou Ji, who worked at the desk opposite her and had a good relationship with her, to act with her, in exchange for three meals.
But when the day came to go home, Wen Zhili's heart was shaken when he saw his sister crying because of her so-called "boyfriend".
After dinner that day and seeing Zhou Ji off, Lu Wanqing came up to her and whispered:
"Xiao Li, you and Xiao Zhou must not hold it against Yanyan. She was a little rude just now. She just missed you too much and isn't used to other people around you. She's a good kid."
"You don't know, one weekend your dad and I came home from get off work and didn't see her. She ended up sleeping on your bed, with tears in the corners of her eyes. She even soaked your pillow with her tears."
Wen Zhili couldn't describe how he felt at that moment.
My parents have witnessed such a moment once, but how many times have they not witnessed it in these three years?
She could only reply to Lu Wanqing in a normal tone: "Mom, I know, Yanyan is of course a good child."
Everything that happened that day made Wen Zhili feel dazed.
The way home made her dazed, the touch of her fingertips on the fingerprint door lock made her dazed, and the pair of round eyes staring at her in a daze made her dazed.
And her sister - and her sister's enduring love, still sincere and pure, made her most dazed.
"I used to love, but not anymore. Now, I love something else."
When Wen Zhili heard this, many images flashed through his mind.
The extra braised spareribs, the cup of Four Seasons Milk Tea that she threw away, the ice cream black tea brought in by Jiang Zhu - in the end, the picture froze on the second day after she came back, when she saw Wen Yan downstairs in the unit building in front of the floor-to-ceiling window, and the figure next to her.
The floor was too high, and Wen Zhili could only barely make out a figure, her expression and state completely unclear. But she still frowned, because the figure was wearing a white shirt and jeans, with long straight black hair, and was half a head taller than Wen Yan.
If the younger sister were to move forward, it would be in line with her original intention of coming back - it would mean that they might really be able to get along like ordinary sisters in the future.
But Wen Zhili didn't know why, she really couldn't ignore the intimacy between them, she didn't like it.
She didn't like Wen Yan being intimate with another stranger.
As for the current situation, it is not completely unexpected.
Wen Zhili asked himself self-deprecatingly, how could I have forgotten?
The younger sister who was raised by her learned to have a gentle and quiet appearance from her, but their inner selves are different after all.
Beneath Wen Yan's gentleness lies a soft and lively side, with a bit of willfulness that comes from being immersed in all kinds of love.
She is brave and determined.
She is loyal, devoted and fearless.
After all, he is different from people like me who can only hide escape, alienation and anxiety under a gentle appearance.
Wen Zhili looked at his sister in front of him.
The girl's voice had a faint aroma of plum wine, which was surprisingly sweet.
She used an almost greedy gaze to depict the contours of her facial features inch by inch at such a close distance - she hadn't taken a good look at her for so long.
Does Wen Yan know that he is not good at lying?
Although he said "I don't love you anymore", his tearful eyes were looking at her.
Every flash of tears is saying: "I still love you."
…
Wen Zhili looked at the food on the table and ate a little, then covered the rest with plastic wrap and put it in the refrigerator.
She took another small bag of instant cereal and milk and placed them on the dining table, taping a note to the side.
"If you're hungry at night, eat some cereal, or heat up something from the fridge. If you don't want to eat anything, come to me and I can make it."
As expected, Wen Yan, who had not eaten dinner, sneaked out of the room in the middle of the night to look for food.
After seeing the note, she was stunned for several seconds, and finally crumpled it up and threw it into the trash can, then went to the living room to get a bag of biscuits and returned to her room.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
