Defeating the body and mind
Chapter 42: Breaking the Body and Mind
Yi Huan became lively after waking up, a little abnormally lively.
Peng Zuoyao took some time to deal with some things and didn't see anyone, so he asked, "Where's the madam?"
"It's still in the room. I can't find it. Maybe it's hidden somewhere else. My dear, it's hot. I'll fan you."
A lowly maid spoke in a pretentious tone with ambiguous meanings. Peng Zuoyang glanced at her coldly, waved his hand away, and signaled Chang Er to deal with her.
"Ah Huan, where are you? Do you want to play hide-and-seek again today? I found you, are you here?"
Last time she hid in a box, but this time there was no one there.
Peng Zuoyan was talking as he looked for her. No matter how many times she hid, he would always find her. It always took a long time. Peng Zuoyan was happy to spend time playing hide-and-seek with her.
Judging the time, the only place left to search was under the bed. Peng Zuoyan knelt on one knee and looked. The place under the bed against the wall was where Yi Huan was hiding.
The moment he saw him, Yi Huan quickly threw the golden hairpin in his hand over to him.
"Ah Huan, it's me, don't be afraid."
Peng Zuoyan, holding a golden hairpin stained with a few drops of blood, noticed a cut on her palm and said in panic, "Ah Huan, are you hurt? Come out first, I'll bandage you up, okay?"
Yi Huan lay down and looked up, with confusion in his eyes, as if he didn't understand what he said at all.
Peng Zuoyan tolerated her unfamiliarity and confusion, and gently explained, "Does your hand hurt? I'll give you a massage, and it will stop hurting."
Yi Huan blinked, as if he understood, and crawled out using both hands like a baby who had just learned to walk.
Her hands were wrapped in white cloth, and she sat quietly and obediently on the steps. It was still the same face, but this mentally retarded and simple expression was definitely not Yi Huan's.
Peng Zuoyan looked at her from the side, and his fingers quietly touched the new wound on his left forearm that she had stabbed.
She never knew how much she was doing, and now she was in a daze and didn't realize it. In the past, she would have applauded.
It’s better this way. He has the peaceful Yi Huan by his side. No matter what her personality is, her body and mind belong to him.
"Here, huhu."
Peng Zuoyan met her half-unfamiliar eyes, wiped her hand gently with a handkerchief, and bandaged it skillfully and gently.
"Why are you looking at me like that? Huh?"
Yi Huan tilted his head in confusion, "You're so old, uncle."
"I'm already thirty, so it's normal for me to look older. But you."
"What's wrong with me?"
Peng Zuoyan smiled, looked at her gently and said, "Still charming, still lively, and still by my side." He just ignored the expression that was sometimes resentful and sometimes strange.
"Nonsense, your age divided by two is less than mine. You really don't know how to compliment people."
"Yes, it's my fault. Can you tell me you are a teenager now?"
Yi Huan hummed slightly, stretched out his index fingers with both hands, and said, "Oh, eleven."
"Yes, it's a little girl."
Yi Huan curiously observed the white hair at the roots of his temples. Peng Zuoyan felt a long-lost peace under her continuous gaze. He asked with a smile, "Ah Huan, love me."
Love is compromise, Peng Zuoyan now understands this very well.
But he always fails to be content and greedy.
He wanted her love and wanted her to have him in her heart. He was just an unloved person who tried to use everything he had to hold on to a handful of quicksand.
Yi Huan tilted her head to look at his suddenly sparkling eyes and asked a series of questions: "What are you talking about? Don't you have a mother who loves you? I'm not your mother. Mother, I'm so hot, let's go back quickly."
"Ring."
Peng Zuoyan grabbed the hem of her skirt, which was fluttering in a hurry, looked up and asked pitifully, "I have no home. Can you take me home? I can work and I have money. I won't be a burden to you."
"You are a bad guy!" Yi Huan frowned, grabbed the hem of her skirt and ran away with a defensive look on her face.
Peng Zuoyan lowered his hands and murmured dejectedly, "Ah Huan, I'm not a bad person."
"Finally, the Qiao family's daughter donated merits, and her father was granted an official title and her mother an imperial decree. Generations of the Qiao family's descendants have been protected by her, and the lineage continues unbroken."
Yi Huan listened to the ending of the storybook with boredom and said unhappily, "This one isn't good. Let's change to the next one."
"Okay. This one: A farmer's son passes the imperial examination, becomes an official, and marries a woman of high rank. Want to hear it?"
Peng Zuoyan looked at her expression, scrolled over the first page, and read slowly.
The maid came to invite him a second time. Peng Zuoyan closed the book, looked at her and said, "Ah Huan, it's time to eat."
"I'm not hungry. Go on."
"Ah Huan, you only ate half a bowl of rice at noon. If you don't eat more, your body won't be able to digest it. Besides, you've been listening all morning. Don't you want to take a break first?"
Yi Huan threw a book aside and refused to talk to him, "You read it."
With Peng Zuoyuan's intense, threatening gaze in front of her, the maidservant dared not offend. She presented the book and bowed her head, apologizing, "Madam, please forgive me."
"Forget it, let's eat and listen, okay? I'll take a step back, and you should take a step back too."
Yi Huan didn't move at all, and insisted on listening to what others said.
Peng Zuoyang had no choice but to compromise: "Let's set up the meal here. Take this book and read it to Madam."
When Peng Zuoyuan turned over in the middle of the night, he stretched out his hand and touched nothing but piles of large characters, and suddenly woke up with a start.
Recently, she always liked to sleep with these words in her arms. He had taken a peek at them. They were not well-organized, with her name being the most common, but it was also written in a strange way.
"Ah Huan?"
The study, lit with candles, glowed with a warm yellow. Peng Zuoyuan followed her shadow as it fell on the screen window. He approached quietly, summoning the servant and asking, "When did Madam wake up?"
"Master, the lady got up an hour ago and said she wanted to practice calligraphy. She has been writing something."
Peng Zuoyuan waved his hand and asked for some charcoal to be added.
Yi Huan was writing at the top. On the uneven paper, the two words "Yi Huan" were written over and over again. The force of the words could be seen through the paper, full of unwillingness. She was afraid of forgetting her name, where she came from, and being assimilated.
Peng Zuoyan sighed to himself and waited until she calmed down a little before going over.
After touching the back of her hand and being dodged, Peng Zuoyan estimated the temperature of her skin and asked with concern, "Are you cold?"
Yi Huan used the end of his brush to separate his touching movements and finished with the last stroke.
"Ah Huan, what is this word? The word Yi is not written like this."
This is the simplified Chinese version of Yi.
Peng Zuoyan couldn't understand all the words, but he could see her messy and urgent expression between the lines.
Yi Huan pulled his ink-stained hand out of his grasp and said solemnly, "I shouldn't be here."
"Ah Huan, you are kidding me. If you are not here, where are you going? Even if you go to heaven or hell, you should have a good rest first."
"Ahuan, where are you going?"
Yi Huan pried open his fingers and walked out hurriedly.
The second officer stood in the courtyard and saw that he had no intention of following him up to the roof. He said, "Master, it's high up there and late at night. You should keep an eye on it."
"She likes to let herself go, so Ling Changyi should also go up and watch carefully."
"yes."
Peng Zuoyan stood with his hands behind his back, looking up at her standing on the roof. The night wind blew open the hem of her clothes, but what swayed even more violently than the wind was Yi Huan's unstable posture.
Every time she swayed, Peng Zuoyan couldn't help but take a half step forward, ready to reach out and catch her at any time.
Yi Huan opened her arms and closed her eyes, feeling the little freedom that had been imprisoned. The evening breeze made a whistling sound. There was only her, and this generous and selfless wind and night.
"If it is for the sake of freedom, both can be abandoned."
After a while, Yi Huan seemed to be crying in anger, but it was not clear, and he shouted from a distance: "The sky is big, the intention of man is far, the earth is far, the heart is far away!"
It's not that he didn't know what she meant by these words. Peng Zuoyan apologized several times in his heart, with a self-deceiving look of heartache on his face, and lonely silence surrounded him.
Ah Huan, I hope you can forgive me.
She fell asleep after being tired from playing around. Peng Zuoyan climbed up to the roof and carried her down with great care.
Peng Zuoyan came back at the time she woke up from her nap. When she mentioned the child, he couldn't help but ask, "What child?"
"Why are you playing dumb? My child with Ayu is an eight-year-old boy. Where is he? I want to see our child."
Peng Zuoyan's expression froze for a moment, and he said uncomfortably, "Maybe he ran out to play. I'll ask him to come see you later."
"I want to see it now. I'll go find it myself."
Yi Huan was about to step out as she spoke. Peng Zuoyan was afraid that if he refused her again, it would cause a quarrel, so he said repeatedly, "I'll ask someone to bring him here. Ah Huan, just wait."
Several half-grown children entered the spacious courtyard one after another. Peng Zuoyan pointed at the children lined up in a row and said tentatively, "One of these is your child, and the others are his playmates. Ah Huan, go find them yourself."
It was said earlier that it was a boy, but Yihuan walked straight towards the girl in the middle.
Yi Huan half-knelt down, held the little girl's hand and asked, "Are you meeting again?"
"Ah Huan, what did you say her name was?"
"We'll meet again tomorrow, and we'll meet again tomorrow."
It would be nice if I could.”
"Ah Huan, you've been thinking about him all the time. You even thought of a name for this evil child."
Peng Zuoyan was indignant, his lowered eyes were deep and sad, and the calmness on his face contrasted with the heaving of his chest.
Ha, that's funny.
Yi Huan raised his head and looked over in question, squinting at him with hatred, with an obscure light flashing in his eyes. Peng Zuoyan saw a bit of pleasure in his eyes with evil intentions.
"Ah Huan, are you..."
"Who is Ah Huan? Did you call the wrong person?"
Peng Zuoyan was not in a hurry to give the answer, and asked back: "If you are not Huanhuan, who are you?"
Yi Huan released the little hand in his palm, stood up with a stern face, thought for a while, and suddenly laughed, "I know who I am."
Peng Zuoyan didn't dare get too close to her. He stretched out his arms and asked, "Ah Huan, who are you?"
"My name is Yu Xiang, you called me the wrong name. Ah Huan and Yi Huan are my best friends, I am not her."
Peng Zuoyan suddenly thought of the person from several years ago, the girl who committed suicide in exchange for Yi Huan not being threatened by him. At that time, if she did not commit suicide, Peng Zuoyan would not have let her live based on the words that Yu Xiang had said secretly.
"Okay, your name is Yu Xiang, and what about Yi Huan? What brings you here?"
Peng Zuoyan's back was slightly bent, and he was paying close attention to any reaction from Yi Huan.
Both of them had abnormal nerves on their faces.
Chang Er led the group of children out, and when he came back to see the two of them, each one more insane than the other, he said in confusion, "Chang Yi, what do you think the master wants? He cherishes a madman, and even he himself has become different from usual."
"Madam, you were an ordinary person before, and you are still like this now. They are like this because love plays tricks on them and won't let them go."
He who has set his heart on one person meets her who refuses to change her mind. It's not about right or wrong. Emotions are hard to explain. Once you fall into it, it's hard to get out of the whirlpool.
"Listen, this situation is fair."
Chang Er stood beside Peng Zuoyuan and watched the show, but Chang Yi did not quite agree. One took the initiative to join the game, and the other was passively crazy. If you judge based on the results, it is not fair.
Yi Huan's demeanor suddenly changed. He hunched over and pleaded, lowering his voice as he spoke, "Mr. Peng, Xiaoman is sick and needs a bone marrow test. If there's a match, could you be the donor? I beg you, I beg you, I'll do anything you need me to do. I just ask you to do a test. No matter what the result is, let me give up."
Peng Zuoyan didn't understand some of the words she said, but just the title and name were enough for him to connect the identity that Yi Huan was currently playing.
A loving mother who runs around for her son.
And he is that cold-blooded and heartless evil dragon.
"Qiu Sanniang? Oh, Qiu Man's death wasn't your fault. You really can't let go of that matter."
Yi Huan's expression was silent, as if he was reliving the scene of Qiu Sanniang being hanged after her death. He asked in a low voice, "Aren't you being tortured?"
Will there be no questioning? Will there be no accountability? Will there be no regrets when thinking about it?
"Ah Huan, I have no regrets and no shame."
Peng Zuoyang behaved uprightly, and he had experienced many small psychological tests cumulatively.
Yi Huan looked at him with deep disgust, then suddenly turned sideways and knelt on the ground behind him, saying words of apology and amends.
Peng Zuoyan squatted down and helped her up, saying, "Ah Huan, the ground is cold. If you want to talk, get up and talk."
"This is our final practice. I'm leaving soon. Thank you for taking me out of the city."
Peng Zuoyan was unsure who she was talking about, so she stood up and brushed her hands away.
"No need to thank me. Saving me was a simple task. Consider it your repayment for the bread I gave you when you were little. But I must warn you: never harbor any inappropriate thoughts. If you are willing to be my benefactor, I will grant you a favor based on your gratitude. If you act illicitly, I will show you the consequences through concrete actions."
It's him.
So, is this how you envisioned our past ending? The arrogant and conceited general, who looked down on her commoner status, bid her farewell with a touch of malice, giving her ample gifts of gold and silver, feeling at ease with the kindness they'd shown her in their childhood, letting two people who had no need to meet pass each other by forever.
We should just go our separate ways and not bother each other, but how can I do that?
"I do."
"What?"
"Men are superior to women. Since I'm here, I should follow the rules. Since I'm with you, I should put you first, give up my own ego, and treat your words as an imperial decree. Husband and wife should sing in harmony and continue our beautiful story. Now that you hold the power, I don't know how many young women would like to marry you, but you only favor me. I should be content. I should respond to your every emotion. I shouldn't be capricious or pretentious."
Yi Huan stared at Peng Zuoyuan, the numbness in his words brought about a stiff and cold expression on his face. He spoke words of servility and submission, with two lines of tears quietly running down his face.
"I rejoice in your exclusive favor and cherishment. You embrace love and power to weave a land of tenderness and invite me in. There is no reason for me to refuse you. You protect me and love me. In this world, I respond to you and try to accept you. We are a couple, working hard and without complaint. You are happy, and so I say I do."
Peng Zuoyan realized her self-deception, and the smile she forced was uglier than crying. She said distressedly, "Ah Huan, stop talking. I beg you to stop talking."
She only emphasized how well Peng Zuoyan treated her, without mentioning whether they were in love with each other or whether she was willing to maintain this relationship.
Compared to Yi Huan like this, Peng Zuoyan would rather Yi Huan scold him to vent his anger than let her humiliate herself like this and say things that go against the hypnotist's words.
Peng Zuoyan held her hand and denied it, saying sincerely: "Ah Huan, this is not you, you can't do it."
"Isn't this what you expected? Isn't this what I'm doing? You don't want to do it again."
"Ah Huan, you always know what I want. This is not what I want. When will you be willing to give me what I want? I will always wait for you."
Yi Huan lowered her hand to shake off his grip, silently rejecting him with her eyes, and walked away silently.
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