Chapter 23 Shen Zhe Extra - Bound by Kite String
Shen Zhe Extra - Kite String
It was raining. Unfortunately, he didn't bring an umbrella today. He didn't like to bring an umbrella, probably because he wanted to remember the rainy day for self-torture.
The spring rain is often soft and dense. Standing under the eaves, Shen Zhe stretched out his hand and let the raindrops wet his palm. The chill of early spring spread across his palm along with the dampness.
In a hazy illusion, Shen Zhe seemed to hear the noisy voices and screams like boiling water, as well as a faint fishy and sweet smell.
Shen Zhe suddenly felt a sense of disconnection, a disconnection between his real self and his past memories.
In fact, Shen Zhe seldom recalls his childhood, because to him, the memories of his childhood are not something good worth chewing over and over again, and can even be said to be dark and unpleasant.
The time of adolescence is often wasted little by little in dark waiting.
To his parents, he always seemed to occupy only a small part of the scale. Compared with his work, he seemed less important.
At first he would cry and beg his parents to spend more time with him, but in return his usually gentle mother would just sternly tell him to be obedient and lock him in the room when he cried.
What my mother often said was, Azhe, you must be good and obedient, otherwise your parents will abandon you.
When he was young, he was often frightened by his mother's words. When he was alone at home, he was afraid that his mother and father would no longer want him and would never come back.
This fear became even more severe after he discovered that he seemed to be able to sense those who had died.
Objectively speaking, the parents' education can be said to be an extreme failure.
But in order to catch up with his mother and father's slightly approving glances, he lived up to their expectations and became a good student in everyone's eyes. He worked hard to win various awards. He would pretend to be good at dealing with people and be humble and polite in front of teachers and classmates.
But even though this met their expectations, in the end all he got was his mother bending down to touch his head when she left home, and then praising him for being such a good boy.
He always thought that maybe his personality was not likable, so the relationship between him and his parents was as distant as that of strangers.
Until the little girl holding a doll and wearing a pink and white dress appeared, the young boy Shen Zhe standing on the stairs lowered his eyes, looked at his parents expressionlessly as they squatted down gently and asked her with a smile.
"Qingqing, can you live in our house from now on?"
At that moment, Shen Zhe suddenly felt that he was the superfluous thing in this family.
His parents learned some educational lessons from him and began to put aside their work and spend most of their time accompanying the girl in her growth.
So what was he, then? A victim of his own educational experience?
No, to his mother and father, he is a successful product of education.
Is this really the case?
So Shen Zhe began to tear off all his disguises. He tattooed patterns on his wrists and abdomen, learned to smoke, and learned to skip classes.
After learning about all his changes, his mother seemed to start to pay attention to him, but Shen Zhe just indifferently endured his father's angry beatings and his mother's disappointed look at him. They shed sad tears and vented all their painful emotions on him.
The scars on his back given by his father still seemed to hurt slightly. When his mother saw the tattoos on his body, she was shocked, angry and painful.
But the attention brought by such nonsense only lasted for a moment.
After failing to "correct" him who had gone astray, they turned their attention to the girl who often secretly watched them in the corner. She was well-behaved and polite, but very sensitive and did not dare to approach them easily.
Shen Zhe gave a very threatening smile to the little girl huddled in the corner.
Sure enough, she was frightened and ran upstairs crying and hid in the room.
An annoying guy who is good at playing pitiful to gain sympathy from others.
What happened next was a nightmare that Shen Zhe never wanted to recall in his life. His parents died in the same spring with drizzling rain, on the way to relax with the child.
When the young Shen Zhe arrived, he saw only two bodies wrapped in body bags, a red and white mixture that even rain could not wash away, and a little girl standing on the edge of the road crying helplessly.
This guy wanted to approach him with tears in his eyes, crying and calling him brother. His tender and weak cry almost ignited all the anger that Shen Zhe had accumulated for a long time.
He thought he would never forgive this guy in his life.
The handsome young man in black raised his hand and waved away the child who was approaching him, his face showing undisguised disgust and hatred.
"Get lost."
On the day of his parents' funeral, it was also a rainy day. He held a black umbrella and watched silently as shovel after shovel of soil covered the urn. He should have breathed a sigh of relief, as he had grown up in his parents' expectations and forgetfulness for a long time, and it was time to relax, but he only felt that even his breath was mixed with the smell of blood.
Perhaps, the decision to join the Administration also stems from this inexplicable and almost pathological obsession.
His parents never showed up out of guilt, and he never tried to see them out of hatred.
When he woke up in the middle of the night, he would sit silently by the window, the cigarette in his hand lit, but it just burned. He watched the night turn white bit by bit, and watched the sun rise slowly until it illuminated the sky.
He sat quietly by the window, slowly swallowed by the shadows.
He would occasionally hypnotize himself that no one was controlling him and he didn't have to care about their opinions, which should be something to be thankful for.
But the death of his parents was like a kite string stained red with blood, and the relationship between him and this guy was bound by this kite string, always tense but unable to be broken for a while.
Until this soft and cunning guy threw himself into his arms tremblingly, raised his head timidly and looked at him, with moist and bright almond eyes without any impurities or haze.
She leaned on him lightly and said, "Brother, I'm so scared."
The originally loose kite string seemed to tighten suddenly because of the whisper. Shen Zhe lowered his eyes indifferently. She was very beautiful when she pretended to be pitiful, as if she had just been scared and cried, and even the tip of her nose had a lovely pink color.
The slender five fingers quietly closed together, tightly grasping the blood-red kite string that was hurting the palm of the hand.
Then, Shen Zhe discovered for the first time that this guy was so clingy. Like a poor little animal, he liked to cling to him and call him brother, looking at people eagerly, waiting for them to love him.
When he came to his senses, Shen Zhe found that he had been completely taken advantage of by this guy who was always pretending to be pitiful.
"Brother, here."
A distant call came from the hazy rain.
Shen Zhe raised his eyes and saw Song Qingqing standing across the street not far away.
She was holding a transparent white umbrella and smiling at him with her eyes curved. In this cold and damp spring rainy season, her brightness and warmth broke into his eyes.
After the traffic light turned green, before the girl reached his side of the road, Shen Zhe stepped forward into the rain.
He was tall and only took a few steps to reach Song Qingqing. He leaned over and hugged her tightly, like a kite flying into the sky and holding tightly to the bright white and transparent kite string.
The once helpless anxiety, surging anger, and silent sadness, these complex emotions finally turned into the strength to hug the girl tightly. Shen Zhe's black hair was wet by the rain, with water droplets dripping down, and his thick eyelashes trembled fragilely.
He didn't say anything.
But he felt his hand being wrapped by the girl's soft and warm fingers.
Song Qingqing held his hand and exclaimed: "Brother, your hands are so cold."
Shen Zhe lowered his eyes, suppressed all the chaotic and turbulent emotions in his eyes, and regained his calm and indifferent expression.
"It's okay, I just stood outside for too long."
After returning home and taking a shower, Song Qingqing held his face with a worried look and touched his forehead. She was very worried, afraid that he was sick with a fever and was still trying to be strong.
"Why is it still cold?"
Afraid that she would start to get distracted and start thinking about random things again, Shen Zhe put on the same wicked smile he usually used to tease her and whispered with a smile, "It's quite hot elsewhere."
Song Qingqing didn't react at first, with a blank expression on her fair face. After realizing what Shen Zhe meant, the tips of her ears instantly turned red, and the corners of her eyes were rosy. She subconsciously wanted to retract her hand that was pressed against Shen Zhe's forehead, but he gently held it and teased her with a bit of rogueness, "Do you want to touch it?"
She raised her hand, so angry that she wanted to push the bastard Shen Zhe to the ground, but she was brought down directly by the guy's strength.
Shen Zhe's palms were broad, and he could control the soft and fluffy soufflé cream cake in his palms almost effortlessly. Song Qingqing couldn't help but bite her knuckles gently, trying hard to prevent the broken bytes from escaping, and her long eyelashes like crow feathers were wet with tears.
Shen Zhe's breathing slowed down slightly. He raised his hand and casually pushed his moisture-covered black hair behind his head. His eyes were startlingly dark, bottomless. The thin white hair leaning against his arm swayed slightly, forming smooth and beautiful lines.
Song Qingqing subconsciously stood on tiptoe to move away, but there was nowhere to find a fulcrum. She could easily touch the strong and clear lines of the grooves with her fingertips slightly raised. She seemed to be pushing him away, but Shen Zhe easily restrained her wrist and pulled her closer.
In her hazy vision, Song Qingqing seemed to see the interlaced pattern that her fingertips had just touched, right on the most vulnerable part of the human body, the abdomen, and the color was deepened by the beads of sweat winding down.
Song Qingqing also heard Shen Zhe whisperingly praising her for being so well-behaved and saying that he liked her very much.
Shen Zhe lowered his head, his fingertips patiently twirling around the girl's black and smooth hair, his movements gentle and affectionate. He lowered his eyes and kissed the broken jade beads on her eyelashes, pursing his thin lips.
"You're all I have left."
The silk thread that bound the kite was bright and transparent. When it was tightly tied around the palms and heart, it could easily draw bloody lines, oozing out bright red blood, and finally leaving indelible scars.
But now there is only one taut kite string left, which is both a bondage and a hindrance.
Shen Zhe closed his eyes quietly with a calm expression.
He could clearly feel that the two gazes that had been looking at him with guilt and gentleness had disappeared and could no longer be felt.
How can I describe my mood at this moment?
Perhaps it is difficult to describe such complex and chaotic emotions in words. He is relieved, but he will not forgive.
But at least, Shen Zhe felt that at this moment, with his hand firmly locked by the only strand of kite string, his heart was very peaceful.
Shen Zhe lowered his head and kissed the girl's slightly frowned brow.
He was also willing to be bound by this kite string.
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