Chapter 15: Fight
"In the King's Game, whoever draws the joker becomes the King. The King can order any two numbers to do anything." The yellow-haired man announced the rules in a hoarse voice. His eyes swept over the people at the table, especially lingering for two seconds between Gu Ye and Chu Yan, with a hint of mischief in his eyes. "Let's make sure you don't go too far, but don't be too cheap to play either!"
A few playing cards were roughly slammed onto the greasy, twisted table. Gu Ye looked at them, then glanced at Chu Yan, who sat poised beside him, even smiling slightly. He felt a strange sense of uncertainty. Could Chu Yan play this game?
He gritted his teeth and reached out to pull out a card, holding it in his palm without looking at it immediately.
Chu Yan casually picked up the card closest to him. He glanced at the card, curled the corners of his mouth slightly, and then placed the card face down on the table.
"Have you drawn your cards? Open your cards!" Huang Mao shouted impatiently, and was the first to show his card - a bright red ghost. "Haha, a good start, I'm the king!"
A chorus of laughter and curses echoed around the table. Gu Ye lowered his head and slowly unfolded the cards in his hand—the 3 of Spades. His heart skipped a beat.
Huangmao looked around proudly, picked up the oil-based pen on the table used to write orders and a blank space on a torn-off menu, and said, "Number 1 and 3, each of you hold one end of the slip in your mouth and swallow it. You can't break it before you get to this position. If you break it, you will be fined three glasses of wine."
Gu Ye's face darkened instantly. Who is number 1? He flipped over the 3 of spades in his hand.
"Who is No. 1? Who is No. 3? Hurry up!" The yellow-haired man urged, slamming the table.
Chu Yan slowly turned over the card he was holding - the Ace of Hearts.
Gu Ye: “…”
The air was quiet for a moment, and then erupted into even louder boos and whistles.
“Wow—”
"Hurry, hurry! Where's the note?"
Huangmao had deftly torn off a piece of paper about ten centimeters long and handed it over with a smile.
Gu Ye felt a surge of heat rushing from the base of his neck to his forehead, his ears burning intensely. He stared at the note, then looked up at Chu Yan. The smile on Chu Yan's face deepened. He stood up, walked over to Gu Ye, leaned forward slightly, and reached out to take the note from the yellow-haired man.
"Come on, classmate Gu." Chu Yan's voice was lighthearted and smiling, without any hint of embarrassment. He gently bit one end of the note between his teeth and handed the other end to Gu Ye.
Everyone's eyes were focused on them, filled with excitement, curiosity and undisguised gossip.
Gu Ye was in a difficult position. With so many people watching, he couldn't afford to back down. He took a deep breath, suppressing the restlessness and inexplicable discomfort in his heart. He stood up suddenly, his movement so violent that he nearly tipped over the stool. He tilted his head slightly, avoiding Chu Yan's smiling eyes, leaned forward, opened his mouth, and carefully bit the other end of the note.
The distance between the two was instantly shortened to the point where they could hear each other's breathing.
The clean scent of Chu Yan, mixed with the smoky aroma of barbecue and the faint smell of beer, invaded Gu Ye's senses. He could clearly see Chu Yan's drooping eyelashes, each one distinct, casting a small shadow under his eyes.
Gu Ye's heart was beating so fast it threatened to burst out of his chest. He lowered his head slightly, stiffly, and began to very slowly put the note into his mouth. His movements were clumsy and stiff, and his cheeks were tense.
Chu Yan matched Gu Ye's pace, his movements graceful and composed. His gaze remained fixed on Gu Ye's face, a subtle scrutiny and interest. The note grew shorter between them, their noses almost touching. Gu Ye could feel Chu Yan's warm breath brushing against the corner of his lips, a slight tickle.
The noises around him seemed to fade away, and the world shrank to the point where only the ever-shrinking piece of paper in front of him remained, and Chu Yan's eyes that were so close to him.
The note was finally completely "eaten." The two men loosened their teeth almost at the same time.
"Good!" Huangmao led the applause, and the others followed suit.
Gu Ye immediately took a step back, putting some distance between them. He picked up the beer on the table and took a big gulp. The cold liquid couldn't suppress the burning heat on his face. He lowered his head, not daring to look at Chu Yan again.
Chu Yan sat back in his seat as if nothing had happened, picked up a tissue and wiped the corners of his mouth elegantly, as if nothing had happened just now. Only a very faint smile flashed across the depths of his eyes, so fast that it was impossible to catch it.
The game continued, the atmosphere heated up to the core. The kings' orders were varied, ranging from imitating a dog's bark, to hugging a pillar and making a passionate confession, to doing push-ups. Chu Yan seemed to have good luck; he wasn't given any overly aggressive orders. Even when he was, he always managed to handle them with unexpected composure, even a touch of humor, drawing laughter from everyone. Even Huang Mao and the others, who had initially been wary and dismissive of him, began to look at him with genuine admiration and a sense of closeness.
Only Gu Ye was a little absent-minded. He would occasionally respond, but his eyes would always unconsciously drift towards the person next to him who always had a gentle smile on his face and seemed to be born to be in the spotlight.
As the night deepened, the empty bottles on the table piled up like a small mountain. Amid the clamor, Ah Liang, holding his own glass, shuffled around to Chu Yan and plopped down on the empty stool beside him.
"Brother Yan," A Liang burped, his tongue was a little big, but his eyes were focused with a rare seriousness, "I have to toast you a glass." He picked up the wine glass and clinked it with the glass that Chu Yan placed on the table, making a crisp sound.
Chu Yan looked at him without saying anything, just picked up the cup and took a sip.
Ah Liang raised his head and drank the wine in his glass. He wiped his mouth and leaned closer to Chu Yan. He lowered his voice, with the smell of alcohol and a kind of sincere sincerity: "Brother Yan, I know you... you and Brother Ye are... different from us. You have good grades, and you look... different from us."
He paused, as if trying to organize his words, his eyes a little blurry yet revealing a stubbornness: "But Brother Ye... he actually has a very hard time. Don't look at him as being fierce all day long, as if he doesn't care about anything. He actually... actually cares more than anyone else, he just doesn't dare to ask for it." Aliang's voice lowered, with a hint of subtle sadness, "He wasn't like this before. Since... since Auntie left..."
Before Aliang finished speaking, he patted Chu Yan's shoulder hard, with such force that Chu Yan swayed slightly: "Brother Yan! You are the first... the first friend that Brother Ye is willing to bring out to have dinner with us. No matter what happens in the future, can you please not... just stop being friends with him so quickly?" Aliang's voice was a little choked, and after he finished speaking, he took another big gulp of wine, choking and coughing.
Chu Yan quietly watched the young man, who had lost his composure due to his worry for his boss. The dim light from the ceiling fell on his face, softening his overly delicate features and blurring the true emotion in his eyes. He didn't answer immediately, but waited for A Liang to catch his breath before lifting his own glass and gently clinking it with the empty one he had placed on the table.
"Don't worry," Chu Yan's voice was not loud, but it reached A Liang's ears clearly, with a strange soothing power, "He and I will always be friends."
A Liang was stunned for a few seconds, then nodded vigorously, his eyes a little red, and muttered, "That's good... That's good...", then staggered back to his seat and lay on the table without moving.
It was almost midnight when the party ended. The night market was still bustling, but the night breeze was cool.
Gu Ye was clearly drunk. His steps were unsteady, his eyes blurry, and he was being held on either side by Huang Mao and Ban Chou, mumbling something incoherently. But just as Huang Mao and the others were about to hail a taxi to take him back to his place, Gu Ye suddenly seemed to sober up a little. He abruptly broke free from their support, staggered towards Chu Yan, who was standing by the roadside waiting for a ride, and grabbed his arm.
"Chu...Chu Yan..." He raised his head, his eyes unfocused, his face flushed abnormally, his voice unclear and with a strong smell of alcohol, "I...I won't go back..."
Chu Yan was knocked back half a step by him. Looking at Gu Ye, who was hanging on his arm with a stubborn look in his eyes, his brows knitted slightly. Huang Mao and Ban Chou looked at each other, somewhat at a loss.
"Alright." Chu Yan sighed, reached out to steady Gu Ye's shaky body, and nodded to Huang Mao and the others, "I'll take him back. You guys should go back early too."
The taxi drove through the silent streets. Gu Ye leaned on Chu Yan's shoulder, seemingly asleep, breathing heavily. Chu Yan tilted his head to look at the neon lights speeding by outside the window, his face expressionless.
After returning to Chu Yan's apartment, he let him in and threw him on the sofa in the living room. Chu Yan was about to pour a glass of water when Gu Ye suddenly opened his eyes.
Those eyes seemed particularly bright in the dim living room light. Although still drunk, they seemed clearer. He struggled to sit up, not looking at Chu Yan, his eyes staring blankly at the smooth floor in front of him.
"Chu Yan..." He spoke, his voice very hoarse, with a kind of fragility soaked in alcohol and an unprecedented desire to talk.
Chu Yan paused, turned around and leaned against the cabinet in the entrance hall, looking at him quietly.
Gu Ye raised his hand and rubbed his face vigorously, as if he was gathering up his courage. After a long while, he began to speak in a voice that was almost dreamy and had a strong nasal tone, intermittently:
"I knew my dad had someone else outside when I was very young..." He spoke very slowly, each word seemed to be squeezed out from his throat with difficulty, "That woman gave birth to a son for him, who is a few years older than me..."
The living room was unusually quiet, with only Gu Ye's hoarse voice and the occasional sound of cars coming from outside the window.
"My mom knows everything... She's very sad... But she never said anything... She always told me, 'An An, having you is enough for mom'..." Gu Ye's voice choked. He sniffed hard and lowered his head even more. "She has been enduring it... Pretending for me... Pretending that nothing happened..."
Chu Yan listened silently, his back to the light in the living room, his face covered with a shadow, making it impossible to see his expression.
"But she was so tired..." Gu Ye's voice began to tremble, and he couldn't help crying. "When I was fifteen, she jumped off the terrace of our house..." A huge sense of sadness and powerlessness instantly flooded the living room like a tide. Gu Ye's shoulders shook violently, and he pressed his arms against his eyes, letting out a broken sob.
"Then I ran away... I'm not Gu Yu'an anymore, I'm Gu Ye..." He lowered his arms, his face wet, his eyes filled with bottomless pain and almost self-destructive stubbornness. "That woman's son, he does everything better than me. Dad loves him, everyone loves him... I can't win... I can't win anything..."
He suddenly looked at Chu Yan, his eyes burning with a hint of pleading that he himself didn't even notice:
"So I don't want anything... I pretend I don't care... That way they can't hurt me..."
"But..." His voice dropped. "For this exam, Chu Yan, I really want to be in the top 80%... I want to be in the same class with you... This is the first time in the past few years that I've wanted to fight for myself..."
The last words completely shattered Gu Ye's hard shell, revealing the lonely and helpless soul inside.
Chu Yan stood there, listening to the boy's long-suppressed, tearful confession. After a long moment, he finally let out a barely audible sigh.
The sigh was soft, but like a stone dropped into stagnant water.
He walked over to the sofa and sat down next to Gu Ye. Without any extra words, he stretched out his arms and wrapped them around Gu Ye's shoulders, which were trembling slightly from crying. He gently but with an undeniable strength, embraced his stiff body.
Gu Ye's body suddenly stiffened, and then it was as if all his strength had been drained away. His tense nerves completely broke under the alcohol and the sudden, warm embrace. He gave up resisting, resting his forehead on Chu Yan's shoulder and holding that position without moving.
Chu Yan wrapped one arm around him tighter, and with his other hand, he patted his slightly arched back, slowly and steadily. His movements carried an almost unfamiliar soothing quality. He tilted his head slightly, resting his chin lightly against Gu Ye's soft head, feeling the fragile yet genuine trembling of the young man in his arms.
After an unknown amount of time, the movement in his arms gradually faded, leaving only the steady, heavy breathing. Gu Ye fell asleep. The alcohol and the immense emotional exhaustion had completely slumbered him, but his brows were no longer furrowed as before, instead revealing a sense of peace after exhaustion.
Chu Yan laid him down on the sofa and gently covered him with a thin blanket. After doing all this, he stood beside the sofa, looking down at Gu Ye's sleeping profile. Moonlight streamed in through the gaps in the undrawn curtains, casting bright and dark shadows on his face.
Pulling open the glass door, the cool night breeze rushed in instantly. Chu Yan closed the door with his backhand, isolating the smell from the living room. He walked to the balcony railing and took out a cigarette case and lighter from his pocket.
"Crack!" A flame shot up, lighting the cigarette between his lips. The scarlet fire flickered in the darkness.
He took a deep breath, the pungent smoke rushed into his lungs, and then he slowly exhaled, the white smoke curling away in the cold moonlight.
In my mind, Gu Ye's tearful accusations were still echoing—
"I can't win anything..."
"This is the first time... I want to fight for myself..."
Chu Yan's fingers, holding the cigarette, tightened slightly, their knuckles turning white. He looked up at the night sky over the city, dyed dark red by the neon lights.
"Heh..." A very light and cold sneer escaped from his lips and dissipated in the night wind.
Fight? Chu Yan's thoughts drifted, and he suddenly remembered himself many years ago. Did he think the same way back then? Chu Yan couldn't remember clearly.
He exhaled a puff of thick smoke, and his eyes became cold and sharp in the smoke, piercing straight towards a direction with bright lights in the city.
Then fight for it, Gu Ye.
He flicked the ash off his cigarette, and the grayish-white fragments fell silently.
I'll let you win.
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