Chapter 23 Isn't obsessive love still love? ...
Chapter 23
As autumn deepens, the number of people visiting Laiwangcuo increases significantly, with backpackers and pilgrims visible everywhere on the streets and alleys.
Under the pale blue sky, the mountain wind blows the prayer flags hanging on the steep slope, their colorful ribbons fluttering and carrying the sound of chanting to the horizon. The grand atmosphere of freedom attracts every soul yearning for life.
The guesthouse business also picked up, but it couldn't compare to half the business of the law firm. Apart from helping Ren Yu receive guests, Xia Zhiyu spent most of her time shooting and editing videos, including not only her life in Wangcuo during this period, but also some archived videos that she hadn't had time to edit before because she was too busy with work.
Most of these trips were taken by Jiang Zhiyan during his year in the United States when he returned to China to accompany her on several long trips. Although most of the time Xia Zhiyu would go to various attractions with the travel concierge, Jiang Zhiyan would work in the hotel or in the car.
However, Jiang Zhiyan's figure or voice would still inadvertently appear in her shots in the videos.
Xia Zhiyu always heard Jiang Zhiyan gently asking her what she wanted to eat for dinner at the most unexpected moments. Before her brain could process the information, tears would well up in her eyes.
Memories are like bamboo shoots after a spring rain, popping up from who-knows-where. Xia Zhiyu has a very good memory; she can clearly remember how Jiang Zhiyan hurt her every time they argued, and she can also clearly recall how happy she was when Jiang Zhiyan accompanied her on a trip in the video.
The arguments were real, the hurt was real, but the sweetness and happiness were real too.
Fortunately, the work at the guesthouse was very busy, and chatting with all kinds of guests from all over the country helped Xia Zhiyu temporarily forget the memories she had created with Jiang Zhiyan.
Thanks to her past work as a lawyer, Xia Zhiyu is a very good listener and has an exceptionally good temper. Almost no guest who comes to the guesthouse dislikes her. Xia Zhiyu's WeChat Moments are filled with photos of her with new friends, both men and women.
Her WeChat Moments are only visible for the last three months, and these brand-new memories have been buried by the experiences before the breakup over time.
The sunset I took with Jiang Zhiyan during our trip to Beihai was replaced by the snow-capped mountains of Wangcuo.
The local delicacies that Jiang Zhiyan and I had during the business trip were replaced by local specialties made by a new friend.
Even the images and sounds of Jiang Zhiyan in the camera's storage are being gradually erased.
Even while Xia Zhiyu was working, she was humming a song that went something like, "I shouldn't have wasted my time looking for miracles in the first place."
Fang Xinle praised her for her excellent sewing and mending skills.
"See? I told you Jiang Zhiyan wasn't good for you. You've gained so many followers since you broke up, almost 100,000, right?"
"After all, I finally have time to properly manage my account now."
Taking advantage of the relatively low workload at the shop in the morning, Xia Zhiyu chatted with Fang Xinle for a while, from the places she had recently visited in Wangcuo to the strange look in Ren Yu's eyes when she saw the group photo on her WeChat Moments.
Even over the phone, Xia Zhiyu could hear Fang Xinle's gossipy soul burning brightly. She was quite calm, as calm as when she used to discuss with Fang Xinle why clients kept their lawyers away like thieves. Weren't they in cahoots?
She was completely different from how she was when she was having an ambiguous relationship with Jiang Zhiyan.
Every time Xia Zhiyu returned to her dormitory after meeting Jiang Zhiyan, she would snuggle up on the bed with Fang Xinle and analyze the meaning of Jiang Zhiyan's words, word by word, including the surface meaning, deeper meaning, and implied meaning. Fang Xinle jokingly said that if she had this kind of dedication to the Chinese section of the college entrance examination, she would definitely get full marks on the reading comprehension questions.
Or perhaps this is the difference between first love and real love.
People who fall in love for the first time are always prone to sinking, but after sinking once or twice, they start to learn their lesson. They can go into the river of love occasionally, but when they do, they must wear a swimming ring to prevent drowning.
Fang Xinle burst into laughter on the other end of the video call because of her theory, looking like a goose that was about to die.
"Is it that funny? Your nasolabial folds are practically jumping off the screen."
Xia Zhiyu said with a hint of helplessness, "I thought I was being dryly humorous."
Fang Xinle wiped away the tears of laughter from the corners of her eyes. "That's so funny, baby. Your analogy is brilliant. No wonder you're a media student. Your ability to make connections is amazing."
"Then can you tell me what the lifebuoy you use to prevent drowning is in the context of love?"
...
After hanging up the phone, Xia Zhiyu leaned back in her recliner, swaying gently, watching the clouds, which looked like cotton candy fluff just blown out of the oven, gradually disperse and then gather again.
She's been spending her time like this lately, as if she were part of the clouds, floating in the air, not thinking about the conflict between her ideals and her work.
"Sister Yu, can you help me with this transition?"
She hadn't been lying down for long when a young girl who had been working at the store recently suddenly rushed up to her, excitedly asking her to watch her video. She then pushed Ren Yu, who was about to talk to Xia Zhiyu, away.
This girl's name is Chen Ruoyu. She is a very pretty and innocent girl. Her WeChat Moments are full of travel photos of her flying all over the world. The bag she carries on her shoulder costs half a year's salary for Xia Zhiyu. She looks like a typical rich kid.
She speaks with an ABC accent, which is reflected in a small amount of Chinese mixed with a large number of English words. Sometimes her choice of words is particularly cute, so cute that Xia Zhiyu wished she could crumple her up and stuff her into her pocket.
Fortunately, Xia Zhiyu had previously worked in international business and was fluent in English; otherwise, Chen Ruoyu would have had trouble communicating with people in Wangcuo.
What's even more coincidental is that Chen Ruoyu is also a YouTuber with 50,000 followers. Her job is similar to Xia Zhiyu's; both are vloggers. However, Xia Zhiyu focuses more on travel and daily life, while Chen Ruoyu's videos are entirely about recording her own life, from travel to daily routines.
Perhaps due to the nature of her work and the language barrier, Chen Ruoyu was exceptionally clingy to Xia Zhiyu, pestering her every day. She would even follow her when she went out to throw away the trash, like a little bird clinging to its mother. Ren Yu didn't even have a chance to say a few words to her.
Moreover, judging from the fact that Chen Ruoyu spends money every day to have someone pick up a lot of packages for her, this girl will most likely stay here for a while.
Ren Yu's attitude towards her changed from initially respecting the rich woman to now feeling that Chen Ruoyu must have been sent by God to sever his marriage.
Of course, he could only complain about this to his other friends in private.
Xia Zhiyu had told him a long time ago that she had no intention of being in a relationship at the moment.
"Isn't it interesting!"
Chen Ruoyu's eyes sparkled, filled with satisfaction with her artistic achievement. "How about I use this for our transition trip to Gongga Snow Mountain tomorrow?"
"Great, it's so cute, it really suits your video style," Xia Zhiyu praised with a smile. The video was short and had a strong rhythm. Xia Zhiyu habitually swiped down, and suddenly a video of Jiang Zhiyan being interviewed in English on a financial news program popped up on the screen.
The man had his hair slicked back, his eyes were sharp behind thin-rimmed glasses, his expression was indifferent, and his standard London accent was deep and sexy.
A live-streamed finance program in the UK had a chat room so lively it was almost as if a celebrity were on stage.
Xia Zhiyu looked around and all she could see were exclamations of "Ahhhhh, my husband is so handsome!"
Her gaze was also briefly drawn to Jiang Zhiyan's face. This is how people who are attracted to good looks are, not to mention that she was particularly drawn to Jiang Zhiyan's looks when she was in love before.
Chen Ruoyu glanced at her phone screen, then at her, and suddenly said, "Does Sister Yu really like this kind of thing? I know a few minor celebrities like that. Do you want them to come over and have dinner with you?"
Rich women think differently from ordinary people; the moment they speak, the scent of RMB wafts out.
Xia Zhiyu quickly waved her hand and returned the phone to Gu Ruoyu.
"No, this is my ex-boyfriend, that's why I couldn't help but take a second look."
"Ex-boyfriend?"
Chen Ruoyu's eyes lit up immediately, and she said something surprising, "Then is he very big? I recently saw on Xiaohongshu that men with high nose bridges and long fingers are all very big."
As soon as she finished speaking, she contradicted herself, "No, if a man who is this handsome and outstanding also has great sexual function, Sister Yu Yu would never break up with him."
"So it's a big tree hanging with chili peppers, right!"
Xia Zhiyu didn't know how to respond for a moment. She organized her thoughts for a long time before explaining:
“There are many reasons for breaking up, and it’s not necessarily these factors. We’re not compatible in any way, especially in terms of family background and personality, so it’s natural for us to separate.”
She spoke with the same smile on her face as before, looking neither sad nor nostalgic, as if she had completely let go.
"Family background? That's not important. Shouldn't what matters be your feelings for him?"
Chen Ruoyu asked again, "Do you still like him?"
This question stumped Xia Zhiyu.
Does she still like Jiang Zhiyan?
It's probably because he doesn't like her anymore. After all, such a mean-spirited ex should be burned to ashes and put in an urn.
But then she suddenly remembered what Fang Xinle had said when she video-chatted with him that morning, commenting on her views about her "swimming ring."
"There's no such thing as a 'spare tire' in love; it's clearly because they don't care!"
"You don't care because you don't like him, you idiot."
...
What about Jiang Zhiyan?
Does she still care about Jiang Zhiyan?
Xia Zhiyu exhaled, suddenly sat up straight, and smiled at Gu Ruoyu, saying, "I don't like it anymore, and I don't care anymore. If I liked it, why would I break up with him?"
His tone was very firm.
"Alright then, this kind of elite guy looks like he's not easy to deal with," Chen Ruoyu tapped her phone a couple of times and put it in her bag, her voice rising again, "They said they're having a hot pot dinner at the store tonight, Sister Yu, what do you want to eat? Let's go buy some now!"
"Okay, let's buy some beef rolls or something, it's been so long since we've had them..."
...
I don't like it anymore.
I don't care anymore.
Xia Zhiyu spoke of him as if he were a stranger.
The ashtray was full of half-smoked cigarette butts, and the files on the desk were piled up like a small mountain. Jiang Zhiyan had been living at the company lately, relying on a lot of work to numb his nerves and force himself to suppress the desire to fly to Wangcuo to find Xia Zhiyu.
"Now that they've said that, you should let it go."
Chen Yue looked helplessly at Jiang Zhiyan, who had lost a lot of weight, and couldn't help but feel a headache coming on. "How much longer are you going to torture me and my sister?"
Chen Ruoyu is Chen Yue's younger sister. She had been staying in the United States and just returned to China last year. Jiang Zhiyan used several business collaborations to get her to go to Wangcuo to obstruct Ren Yu and Xia Zhiyu.
Chen Yue has also been having a tough time lately. The faster Jiang Zhiyan handles his work, the more he has to take on. He's practically being forced to work overtime. The amount of work that was originally expected to take three months was all done by Jiang Zhiyan in less than half a month.
"But I still love her, no, I have always loved her."
The dark red sparks flickered as Jiang Zhiyan stared quietly at the computer screen, her tone indifferent, devoid of any affection. "Besides, she needs me. Only I can take good care of her. No one else understands her better than me."
"We've only been apart for a short time, it's not like we've lost our feelings for each other."
Chen Yue wished he could find someone to check what kind of curse Jiang Zhiyan had been under. "She's already said she doesn't like you, can't you just stop bothering her? Wouldn't it be better to just be a stranger and wish her happiness? Is that what you call a lover?"
"not good."
Jiang Zhiyan's tone remained calm, and he even smiled slightly, "Don't you understand yet? So what if she really has no feelings for me? As long as I have feelings for her, that's enough."
"If she thinks there's something wrong with me, I'll just change it."
He tilted his head slightly to look out the floor-to-ceiling window, his tone calm, as if stating a fact.
"Fish can only be mine."
Although there was no trace of prejudice in his tone, Chen Yue felt a chill run down his spine.
Amitabha Buddha, Amen, Hallelujah, Infinite Heavenly Venerable! No matter which deity or Buddha, can anyone come and cure Jiang Zhiyan's lunatic condition?
He doesn't want to be friends or business partners with a gloomy and paranoid man!
After Chen Yue left, Jiang Zhiyan stubbed out the last two cigarettes and his gaze fell on Xia Zhiyu's photo on his computer screen.
It was when Xia Zhiyu had just graduated from university. She had a bright smile on her face, hugged his arm tightly, and her eyes were full of happiness.
How can this not be called love?
Isn't obsessive love still love?
Jiang Zhiyan suddenly understood why Jiang Jing would go crazy whenever it came to anything related to Zhao Qian.
That's how love is for people like them: twisted, obsessive, and insane, filled with a strong possessive desire.
Therefore, their fates seem similar.
Zhao Qian used infidelity to escape Jiang Jing's terrifying possessiveness, while Xia Zhiyu tried to leave Jiang Zhiyan by resigning and breaking up with him.
At this moment, the hands of fate, the hour and the second, are intertwined.
How ridiculous.
He was the one who hated Jiang Jing the most, and he was also the one who most resembled Jiang Jing.
But he is not Jiang Jing, and Xia Zhiyu is not Zhao Qian.
The hour and second hands only overlap for a brief moment.
He would try to understand Xia Zhiyu's thoughts and try to act like the person Xia Zhiyu liked, as long as Xia Zhiyu returned to his side and continued to look at him with those soft, moist eyes as before.
He can give her anything she wants.
No one in the world loves her more than him; this kind of all-or-nothing love can only be given to her by him.
-
The phone screen suddenly lit up.
Chen Ruoyu sent him a message:
[Sister Yu is going back to her hometown with Ren Yu, saying they need to get some kind of marriage certificate.]
I'll be leaving soon.
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