1 Give up
The late spring breeze, wrapped in the sweet fragrance of crabapple flowers, flowed over the vermilion railings of the back garden of Yongning Marquis Mansion and fell on the back of Su Wanting's hand, which was clenched tightly around the brocade handkerchief.
She stood in the shadow of the moon-shaped gate, her eyes as if attracted by a magnet, firmly fixed on the wisteria trellis not far away.
Xiao Cixiao was listening to her cousin Lin Xiuer with her head down. The smile on the corner of her lips showed a tenderness that she had never seen in the three years she had admired.
The amulet on my fingertips hurt my palms.
She spent three whole nights embroidering this talisman, using silk thread imported from Jiangnan.
The heart of the talisman was embroidered with the word "peace" and the corners were decorated with fine silver threads. Even the most skillful embroiderer around my mother praised its exquisiteness.
She originally thought that since there were many people at the Late Spring Banquet today, she would find an opportunity to give it to him. Even if he didn't like it, it would be good to keep it for self-defense.
But at this moment, seeing him chatting and laughing with Lin Xiuer, that little bit of courage disappeared in an instant like catkins blown away by the wind.
"Miss, it's cold standing here. Be careful not to catch a cold." Qingdai, the personal maid, held up a thin cloak and gently advised.
"Just now, Madam asked about you and told you to stop hiding from people and spend more time with the young men and young ladies."
Su Wanting shook her head slightly, her eyes still fixed on the figure under the flower stand.
She is the eldest daughter of the Yongning Marquisate. She has lived a life of luxury since childhood and has never lacked flatterers around her, but she has fallen in love with Xiao Cixiao.
Three years ago during the Lantern Festival, she accidentally fell into the icy lake. It was Xiao Cixiao, a student of the Imperial College at the time, who jumped into the water to rescue her.
He was soaked to the skin at that time, but he still did not forget to wrap his only dry cloak around her. Although his voice was cold, his eyes were filled with worry.
From that day on, Su Wanting's heart felt like a stone was thrown into it, and the ripples that spread out could never be calmed down.
She knew that Xiao Cixiao was a scholar from a poor family, and his father was just a small editor of the seventh rank in the Hanlin Academy, which was a far cry from her family background.
But she didn't care. She secretly asked someone to find out his preferences. Knowing that he loved reading "Records of the Grand Historian", she asked her father to give him the Song Dynasty edition he had treasured.
Knowing that his family was poor and he didn't even have a thick cotton coat in winter, she sewed one for him herself and asked Qingdai to send it to him under the pretext of "a reward from the Marquis's Mansion."
When she did all this, she never dared to let him know that it was her doing. She just hoped that he could feel a little warmth, even if he just regarded her as an ordinary "Miss Su".
But he refused. Xiao Cixiao had never accepted anything from her. He returned the "Records of the Grand Historian" intact, with only a note attached.
It reads, "No reward without merit, Miss Su's kindness, Xiao appreciates it."
The man in the cotton-padded jacket didn't even let Qingdai in, and only asked the housekeeper to pass on a message, saying, "Although Xiao is poor, he knows etiquette and dare not disturb the Marquis's mansion."
After many times, Su Wanting gradually realized that it was not that he did not understand her feelings, but that he was just disdainful.
In his eyes, she might just be a spoiled young lady who relied on her family background and was ignorant of the immensity of heaven and earth, and wanted to pester him just because she saved his life.
Just like last time in the teahouse, she mustered up the courage to go up to him and say hello, but he just nodded faintly, turned around and said to his classmates, "She's just a troublesome Miss Su, don't bother with her."
Those words were like a thin needle, piercing Su Wanting's heart and causing pain for several days.
But she just couldn't live up to her expectations. As soon as she saw him, all her grievances and unwillingness would disappear, leaving only joy and expectation in her heart.
"Cousin, look how beautiful this butterfly is!" Lin Xiu'er's voice interrupted Su Wanting's thoughts.
She saw Lin Xiu'er pointing at a colorful butterfly in the flowers, her eyes full of joy, and Xiao Cixiao looked in the direction of her finger, the tenderness in his eyes almost overflowing.
Su Wanting's heart sank suddenly, and the amulet on her fingertips was deformed by her grip.
She knew that Lin Xiu'er was Xiao Cixiao's distant cousin. Her parents died when she was young, and she lived in the Xiao family. She and Xiao Cixiao were childhood sweethearts.
In the past, she always comforted herself that they were just brother and sister, but looking at Xiao Cixiao's eyes at this moment, she suddenly didn't dare to deceive herself anymore.
"Miss, let's go. The banquet will start soon." Qingdai looked at Su Wanting's pale face and said with heartache.
Su Wanting took a deep breath, suppressed the bitterness in her heart, and nodded.
She turned around to leave, but didn't notice that the hem of her skirt was caught on the railing. She stumbled and the amulet in her hand fell to the ground.
"Ouch!" Qingdai exclaimed and quickly supported her.
Su Wanting stood firm and was about to bend down to pick it up, but she saw a pair of black cloud-patterned brocade boots stopped in front of the amulet.
She looked up and met Xiao Cixiao's cold eyes.
When did he come? Su Wanting's heart skipped a beat, and her cheeks flushed involuntarily.
She opened her mouth, wanting to say something, but didn't know where to start.
Xiao Cixiao's gaze fell on the amulet on the ground, and his brows frowned slightly.
He didn't bend down to pick it up, but looked at Su Wanting, his tone calm and calm: "Miss Su, you dropped your things."
Su Wanting's heartbeat gradually slowed down. She looked at the undisguised alienation in Xiao Cixiao's eyes, and her heart felt like a bucket of cold water was poured on her.
She bit her lower lip, bent down to pick up the amulet, her fingers trembling slightly with nervousness.
"Thank you, Mr. Xiao, for the reminder." She whispered, her voice as thin as a mosquito.
Xiao Cixiao didn't say anything else, just nodded slightly, turned around and walked towards Lin Xiuer.
His back was straight and resolute, without a trace of nostalgia.
Su Wanting stood there, watching his back disappear under the wisteria trellis. The amulet in her hand seemed to carry a biting chill, making her fingertips numb.
She knew that her admiration for the past three years might have been a waste from the very beginning.
But even so, the faint flame in her heart did not go out.
She always thought that maybe if she waited a little longer, or tried a little harder, he would eventually see her feelings.
The early summer rain came quickly and fiercely. The raindrops as big as beans hit the bluestone slabs of Yongning Marquis Mansion, splashing water and making Su Wanting's heart a mess.
She sat by the window, holding a book in her hand, but her eyes were fixed on the outside, unable to read a single word.
Since yesterday, a piece of news has been circulating in the capital that Xiao Cixiao's father, Xiao Zhongshu, an editor of the Hanlin Academy, was detained and interrogated by the Dali Temple on suspicion of embezzling money from the national treasury, and all the Xiao family's property was confiscated.
This news was like a thunderclap, making Su Wanting uneasy.
She couldn't believe that Xiao Bianxiu, who was usually gentle, honest and upright, would commit such a corruption.
What worries her even more is Xiao Cixiao. He has always regarded his father as a role model. Now that his father has suffered such a misfortune, how should he bear it?
"Miss, you've been sitting here all day without a sip of water or a meal. You're going to collapse if you keep doing this."
Qingdai placed a bowl of steaming lotus seed soup on the table in front of Su Wanting and said worriedly, "If you are worried about Master Xiao, why don't you let me go and get some information?"
Su Wanting shook her head, her voice a little hoarse: "No need, it must be very chaotic outside right now. You won't get any useful information if you go, and it will easily bring you into trouble."
She knew that Xiao Zhongshu's case involved the national treasury, and now was a sensitive period. If she was not careful, she could get into trouble. She couldn't bring trouble to the Marquis' Mansion because of her worries.
But despite this, her worries did not diminish at all.
She thought of Xiao Cixiao's usual pride and his alienation from her, and suddenly felt heartbroken.
He was a poor scholar with a bright future. He would soon take part in the imperial examination. If he could pass the exam, he would bring honor to his family.
But now, his father has been arrested and his property has been confiscated. Overnight, he has gone from being a high-spirited scholar to the relative of a prisoner. Can he survive this huge gap?
"Miss, the lady is here." The maid's voice came from outside the door.
Su Wanting quickly stood up, straightened her dress, and went to meet him.
Mother Li walked in, looked at her daughter's pale face, and sighed helplessly: "I knew you were still worried about the Xiao family."
"Mother," Su Wanting lowered her head and said softly, "I just feel that Editor Xiao doesn't seem like someone who would embezzle money. Could there be some misunderstanding here?"
Li walked to the table and sat down, picked up the teacup and took a sip, then said slowly: “Whether there is a misunderstanding or not is not for us to decide.
Now that the Dali Temple has concluded the case, the evidence of Xiao Zhongshu's embezzlement is "conclusive," and I'm afraid it will be difficult for him to recover."
She paused and looked at Su Wanting with a worried look in her eyes, "Wan'er, I know you are interested in Xiao Cixiao, but now that something like this has happened in the Xiao family,
You must never get involved with him again, otherwise it will not only ruin your reputation, but also bring trouble to the Marquis' Mansion, do you understand?"
Su Wanting's heart tightened, she knew her mother was telling the truth.
At this time, anyone who has a connection with the Xiao family will be pointed at and criticized.
If she continued to associate with Xiao Cixiao, others would definitely say that she was ungrateful and might even suspect that the Marquis' Mansion was in collusion with the Xiao family.
But she couldn't do it. When she thought about the huge pain and pressure Xiao Cixiao might be suffering at this moment, she couldn't just sit back and watch.
She bit her lower lip, raised her head, and looked at Li with a firm look: "Mother, I know you are doing this for my own good and for the good of the Marquis' Mansion.
But Xiao Cixiao is innocent, and he can't let his life be ruined because of his father's affairs. His daughter wants to help him."
Upon hearing this, Li's face suddenly darkened: "Help him? How can you help him?
Now that the Xiao family is in ruins, even close relatives are avoiding them. What can you, a legitimate daughter of a marquis, do?
"Do you still want to ask your father to save Xiao Zhongshu? Do you know that Xiao Zhongshu's case was personally ordered by His Majesty to be thoroughly investigated? Anyone who dares to interfere is opposing His Majesty!"
"My daughter didn't want my father to save Xiao Zhongshu," Su Wanting explained quickly.
"My daughter just wants to ask her father to come forward and ask the people in the Dali Temple to make some concessions so that Xiao Cixiao doesn't suffer too much.
Also, the Xiao family's property was confiscated, and Xiao Cixiao must have no place to live now. My daughter wants to give him some money and clothes so that he can get by."
Li looked at her daughter's stubborn eyes and shook her head helplessly: "Wan'er, you are too naive. Now Xiao Cixiao is the son of a criminal. Anyone who dares to associate with him will be targeted.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
