7 Faking Death and Running Away
Su Wanting stood in front of the window of the main room, looking at the old locust tree in the courtyard. The leaves had fallen, leaving only bare branches, just like her life at the moment, with nothing.
My father's funeral was extremely sloppy.
Xiao Cixiao did not show up, but only asked the housekeeper to send twenty taels of silver, saying it was "the love between husband and wife."
Su Wanting took the twenty taels of silver and felt it was ironic. Her Su family had helped him with more than twenty taels back then. And what she had paid for the past five years was also more than twenty taels.
On the day her brother was exiled, Su Wanting got up before dawn, changed into plain clothes, and wanted to go to the city gate to see him off for the last time.
But as soon as she reached the gate of the Xiao Mansion, she was stopped by Xiao Cixiao.
He was dressed in dark court robes, his face colder than the morning frost, and his tone carried an unquestionable command: "You are not allowed to go."
"Why?" Su Wanting raised her head. The pleading look in her eyes was gone. Only a dead calmness remained.
"He's my only brother. Is it wrong for me to send him off for the last time?"
"The Su family is now a family of criminals," Xiao Cixiao frowned, his tone full of impatience.
"If you go and the censors see you, they'll definitely accuse me of 'being too close to the relatives of a criminal.' Do you want to ruin my career?"
It turned out that what he was worried about was not her or the Su family, but his own career.
Su Wanting looked at him and suddenly felt that the person in front of her was extremely unfamiliar.
She recalled that five years ago, when he was still a poor scholar, his brother had patted his shoulder and said, "From now on, my Su family will be your family."
He remembered that his brother took him to various banquets and blocked countless glasses of wine for him in order to help him build connections.
But now, his brother was in trouble, and he refused to even let her see him off.
"Xiao Cixiao," Su Wanting's voice was soft, but with a hint of determination, "I won't implicate you. From now on, my affairs, Su Wanting's affairs, have nothing to do with you, Xiao Cixiao."
After saying that, she turned around and went back to the main room, closed the door, and also closed the last thought of him.
She leaned against the door, listening to the sound of the wind outside and the faint sound of the prison van's wheels in the distance, and tears finally fell silently.
She knew that her brother had traveled thousands of miles and his life or death was uncertain. They might never see each other again.
In the following days, Su Wanting completely became a "transparent person" in the Xiao family.
She never stepped out of the main room again. She just sat in front of the window every day, either in a daze or flipping through the old books left by her father.
Qingdai felt sorry for her and tried every way to cook delicious meals for her, but she could only eat a few bites. She became thinner and thinner, her eye sockets became sunken, and her originally bright eyes became dull.
Xiao Cixiao would occasionally pass by the main room, and when he heard the silence inside, he would feel inexplicably uneasy.
He recalled that every morning he could always see her busy in the kitchen, always smell the fragrance of the ginger soup she cooked, and always see her carefully carrying the mended clothes to the door of the study.
But now, those figures, those scents, and those cautious expectations are all gone.
He had thought about pushing the door open and going in to see her, but when he thought of the humiliation of the Su family forcing him to marry her, and her "omnipresent" entanglement over the past five years, he suppressed the idea.
He told himself that this was what she deserved, what the Su family deserved, and he had done nothing wrong.
Until one day, the housekeeper came hurriedly to report that a box of letters was found among the confiscated property of the Su Mansion. Inside were all the letters that Su Wanting had secretly written to the Su family over the past five years.
There was not a single word of complaint against Xiao Cixiao in the letter. It only said that he was living well in the Xiao Mansion and asked his father and brother to rest assured.
He also said that Xiao Cixiao was very talented and would achieve great things in the future, and asked them to help him more.
Xiao Cixiao held the letters, his fingertips trembling slightly.
The handwriting on the letter was beautiful, yet a bit too neat. It was obvious that she was trying to conceal her grievances because she was afraid her family would see it.
He remembered that one time, he accidentally saw her writing a letter to the Su family. When he asked her what she wrote, she hurriedly hid the letter and just said, "It's nothing, just to let my family know I'm safe."
It turned out that what she reported was always "false safety" and what she hid was always real grievances.
He felt like something was blocking his heart, causing him to feel dull pain.
He wanted to go to the main room to see her and say sorry to her, but when he reached the door, he stopped.
He didn't know what to say, nor did he know if she would forgive him.
At this moment, Liu Tingting came over, holding a newly made fox fur coat in her hand, and said softly, "Sir, the weather is getting colder. I made a coat for you. Please try it on to see if it fits you."
Xiao Cixiao looked at Liu Tingting's gentle smile and thought of Su Wanting's dim eyes. The guilt in his heart was instantly replaced by irritation.
He pushed Liu Tingting's hand away, his tone cold: "No need, keep it for yourself."
After saying that, he turned around and went back to the study, locked the letters in the deepest part of the drawer, and also locked up the guilt that had just emerged.
He didn't know that by turning around, he missed the last chance to make amends.
A few days later, late one night, Su Wanting suddenly developed a high fever and became unconscious, constantly calling out "father" and "brother".
Qing Dai was so anxious that she wanted to go to the study to find Xiao Cixiao, but Su Wanting held her tightly. She opened her cloudy eyes and said weakly, "Don't go... Don't beg him..."
Qingdai had no choice but to go out to find a doctor overnight.
But the Xiao Mansion is now deserted. Those doctors who were willing to give them face in the past are now avoiding them. Qingdai ran around for most of the night before she found an old doctor.
After the old doctor checked Su Wanting's pulse, he shook his head and said to Qingdai, "Madam, you have a heart disease and you've caught a cold. I'm afraid... I'm afraid you won't make it through the night. You should prepare for your funeral as soon as possible."
When Qingdai heard this, she burst into tears on the spot.
She returned to the main room and looked at Su Wanting lying on the bed dying. She felt pain and hatred in her heart. She hated Xiao Cixiao's ruthlessness, hated the Su family's experience, and hated herself even more for being powerless.
Su Wanting seemed to hear Qingdai's crying. She slowly opened her eyes, looked at Qingdai, and a faint smile appeared at the corner of her mouth: "Qingdai... don't be sad... I'm tired... I want to sleep..."
"Miss, you can't sleep!" Qingdai held her hand, tears falling on the back of her hand.
"You can't sleep until your brother comes back and the Su family's injustice is redressed!"
Su Wanting shook her head, her eyes gradually becoming dim: "I can't wait any longer... Qingdai... help me... help me leave here... I don't want to... I don't want to be buried in the Xiao family's grave..."
After she finished speaking, her head tilted slightly, her hands dropped weakly, and her eyes closed forever.
Qingdai hugged her body and cried heart-wrenchingly.
She thought of Su Wanting's words, and the grievances and pain she had suffered over the past five years, and made a decision in her heart that she would help the eldest lady leave here and fulfill her last wish.
In the early morning of that day, Qingdai bribed the servants of the Xiao Mansion and found a beggar who had just died. She dressed Su Wanting in clothes and put her on the bed. Then, under the cover of night, she put Su Wanting's "corpse" into a coffin and secretly sent it out of the city.
When Xiao Cixiao learned the news of Su Wanting's "death", he was reviewing memorials in the study.
After the butler finished speaking tremblingly, the pen in his hand fell to the ground with a "bang", and the ink splashed all over the floor like a pool of black blood.
He stood up suddenly and walked quickly towards the main room.
When he walked into the room and saw the "corpse" covered with a white cloth on the bed, his heart felt like it was being tightly gripped by an invisible hand, and the pain was so severe that he could hardly breathe.
He wanted to lift the white cloth to see her, but his hand stopped halfway.
He remembered how she knelt at the door of the study and begged him to save his father, the blood on her arm when she blocked the arrow for him, and how cautious she was when she wrote the letter to the Su family.
He suddenly felt that in the past five years, he was like a blind man, unable to see her good side or her grievances. He only knew how to use indifference and disgust to push her step by step into despair.
"Sir," Liu Tingting came over and held his arm, her voice filled with a hint of hypocritical sadness.
"Don't be too sad now that Madam is gone. Let's take care of the funeral as soon as possible."
Xiao Cixiao pushed her hand away, looked at her with cold eyes, and got angry at her for the first time: "Get out!"
Liu Tingting was frightened by him and didn't dare to say anything more. She could only retreat in grievance.
Xiao Cixiao stood in the room, looking at the "corpse", and finally couldn't help but shed tears.
For the first time, he regretted his own ruthlessness, his indifference, and his failure to see her feelings earlier. But he knew it was too late to regret now.
Su Wanting, the woman who loved him and gave everything for him for five years, left him forever.
The carriage traveled on the bumpy dirt road for three days and three nights, and finally stopped at the dock of a small town in the south of the Yangtze River one morning.
Su Wanting leaned against the car wall, opened the curtains, looked out the window at the emerald green river and the staggered white walls and black tiles, took a deep breath, the air was filled with the fragrance of moisture and green grass.
Without the oppression of the capital and the coldness of the Xiao Mansion, it was the first time in the past five years that she felt relaxed.
She is not dead.
Late that night, she was running high with fever and unconscious, but she clearly heard the conversation between the old doctor and Qingdai.
She knew that if she really "died", Xiao Cixiao would bury her in the Xiao family's tomb, so that even after her death she would have to bear the title of "Mrs. Xiao" and be trapped forever in the place that made her suffer.
So she used up her last bit of strength and begged Qingdai to help her leave.
Qingdai did not let her down.
She bribed the servants of the Xiao Mansion and found a beggar who had just died. She bought the body with a large sum of money, dressed it in Su Wanting's clothes, and placed it on the bed in the main room, creating the illusion of "death from illness."
Then, taking advantage of the night, he secretly sent Su Wanting out of the capital in a dilapidated carriage.
On the day of leaving the capital, Su Wanting took a last look at the prosperous yet cold imperial capital through the gap in the carriage.
She saw the closed door of the Yongning Marquis' Mansion and the familiar vermilion plaque of the Xiao Mansion. She no longer felt any nostalgia, but only relief.
Miss Su was "dead", she died on that late autumn night, in the main house of the Xiao family.
From now on, there is only Awan in the world, an Awan who has no past and just wants to live a good life.
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