9 Encounter
Five years of grievances, five years of waiting, five years of despair cannot be erased with just one word "hardships".
The next morning, Su Wanting resigned from her job with the old gentleman in the bookshop, settled the bill with the innkeeper, and boarded a carriage to the northwest with Qingdai.
She heard that there had been a famine in the northwest recently, with refugees everywhere and help was needed.
She thought that instead of waiting for Xiao Cixiao to come to her in Jiangnan, it would be better to do something meaningful.
Perhaps when helping others, she can completely forget the past and forget Xiao Cixiao.
The carriage slowly drove away from the town. Su Wanting opened the curtains and took a last look at the misty rain in the south of the Yangtze River.
Goodbye, Jiangnan. Goodbye, Su Wanting's past.
What she didn't know was that Xiao Cixiao arrived in the town the day after she left.
He stood in the empty inn room, looking at the river outside the window, holding the returned letter in his hand, his face pale.
He sent people to inquire around and finally learned that Su Wanting had gone to the northwest. He was anxious and panicked because the northwest was suffering from severe famine and chaos. It was too dangerous for a woman like her to go there.
Without any hesitation, he set off immediately and headed northwest.
He had only one thought in his mind: he must find her, he must protect her, and he must make her forgive him.
Xiao Cixiao sat in a carriage heading northwest, clutching a wrinkled memorial in his hand, his fingertips turning white from the force.
The memorial contained his impeachment of Li Song, but the emperor commented in red that it was "without any evidence and making irresponsible remarks on state affairs." He was also summoned into the palace and severely reprimanded.
He recalled the scene in the court that day. The emperor sat on the dragon throne with a gloomy face. Li Song stood among the officials with a smug smile on his face, looking at him provocatively from time to time.
And those officials who had been polite to him because of the Su family's relationship now lowered their heads, and no one dared to say a word for him.
Only then did he realize that without the support of the Su family's connections, he would be nothing more than an isolated and helpless minister in the court.
In the past, when the Su family was still around, his father Su Chengan was a general guarding the frontier, his elder brother Su Mingyu held military power, and half of the officials in the court were in control.
Either he had received favors from the Su family or he was involved with the Su family. He relied on the Su family's connections to successfully impeach those corrupt officials and gradually rise to the position of censor.
But now, the Su family has fallen, his father has passed away, his brother has been exiled, and those former "allies" have instantly become strangers. Some people even take advantage of his misfortune and want to bring him down.
He thought of Su Wanting. He remembered how she had secretly sold her dowry to give him money in order to help him pave the way.
Thinking back to how she had accompanied the officials' families for tea and chats in order to help him build connections, she clearly didn't like socializing, but she still had to put on a smile;
He remembered that when he was ostracized by his colleagues, she gently comforted him, "Don't worry, I'm here."
In the past, he always thought that her efforts were "natural" and even "entangled", but now, he understood that those were all the smooth paths she paved for him with her own grievances.
He regretted it.
I regret my initial ruthlessness, my initial indifference, and my failure to see her feelings earlier.
Just as he was immersed in regret, the carriage suddenly stopped.
The driver lifted the curtain and said in a panic, "Sir, there is a group of refugees blocking the road ahead, saying they want to ask you for food!"
Xiao Cixiao frowned, lifted the car curtain and walked out.
I saw a group of ragged refugees gathered in front of the carriage, holding broken bowls in their hands, their eyes full of despair and pleading: "Sir, please give us some food! We haven't eaten for several days!"
Xiao Cixiao looked at them and felt a pang of pain in his heart.
In addition to looking for Su Wanting, he also had another mission when he went to the northwest. The emperor sent him to the northwest to provide disaster relief. But he knew that this disaster relief was just an excuse for the emperor to drive him out of the capital.
Li Song was playing tricks behind the scenes and withheld most of the grain and relief funds. If he went there, not only would he be unable to save the refugees, but he might also be framed by Li Song and charged with "ineffective disaster relief."
"Don't worry, everyone," Xiao Cixiao said to the refugees, trying to make his voice sound gentler.
"I'm Xiao Cixiao, the Imperial Censor sent by the court. I'm here to provide disaster relief. Once I get to the disaster area, I'll make sure everyone has food to eat."
When the refugees heard his words, a glimmer of hope appeared in their eyes and they gradually dispersed.
Xiao Cixiao looked at their departing backs and secretly swore in his heart that he must find out the truth about the withholding of grain funds, must let the refugees live a good life, and must find Su Wanting and make it up to her.
But he didn't expect that he would run into trouble as soon as he arrived in the northwestern disaster area.
The official in charge of disaster relief was Li Song's confidant, Zhang Tao.
When Zhang Tao saw Xiao Cixiao coming, he was polite on the surface, but secretly made things difficult for him. Xiao Cixiao wanted to check the account of the grain money, but Zhang Tao said "the account was lost";
Xiao Cixiao wanted to distribute food to the refugees, but Zhang Tao said, "The food hasn't arrived yet"; Xiao Cixiao wanted to go to the disaster area to inspect it, but Zhang Tao said, "There is a plague in the disaster area, and you, your Excellency, are too precious to go there."
Xiao Cixiao knew that Zhang Tao was deliberately delaying, waiting for him to be unable to wait any longer and leave on his own initiative.
But he couldn't leave. He not only had to find out the truth about the grain money, but also had to find Su Wanting.
He sent people to inquire about Su Wanting everywhere, but the Northwest is so big and there are so many refugees, looking for one person is like looking for a needle in a haystack.
He spent every day in anxiety, having to deal with Zhang Tao while worrying about Su Wanting's safety.
One day, he was reviewing documents in his tent when he suddenly heard a commotion outside.
When he walked out, he saw Zhang Tao and a group of soldiers beating a refugee.
"Stop!" Xiao Cixiao shouted and walked over quickly. "Master Zhang, why are you beating refugees?"
Zhang Tao saw Xiao Cixiao and sneered, "Master Xiao, don't worry about this! This refugee actually dared to steal food. I should teach him a lesson!"
"Stealing food?" Xiao Cixiao looked at the refugee who was beaten. He was holding a broken bowl in his arms with only a few grains of rice in it.
"He was just a starving refugee. Even if he stole food, he shouldn't be sentenced to death! What's the difference between you and those corrupt officials?"
Zhang Tao's expression changed, and his tone became tougher: "Master Xiao, this is my territory. I can do whatever I want! You are just a clerk sent by the emperor to do odd jobs. Stay out of my business!"
Xiao Cixiao was so angry that he was shaking all over. He didn't expect Zhang Tao to be so arrogant.
He was about to retort when he suddenly saw the beaten refugee raise his head and look at him.
It was this one glance that made Xiao Cixiao's heart skip a beat.
The refugee's eyebrows and eyes look very much like Su Wanting!
Although she was wearing tattered clothes, her face was covered with dust, and her hair was messy, he would never forget her eyes, which were clear, firm, and had a hint of stubbornness that was hard to detect.
"Wanting?" Xiao Cixiao called out tentatively, his voice trembling slightly.
When the refugee heard his voice, his body stiffened noticeably, and then he quickly lowered his head, trying to avoid his gaze.
Xiao Cixiao became even more certain that she was Su Wanting!
He walked over quickly and wanted to grab her hand, but was stopped by Zhang Tao: "Master Xiao, what are you doing? He's just a refugee, is he worth your attention?"
"Get out of the way!" Xiao Cixiao pushed Zhang Tao aside, walked up to the refugee, and called out again, "Wanting, is it really you?"
The refugee slowly raised his head and looked at Xiao Cixiao, his eyes filled with coldness and unfamiliarity: "Your Excellency has recognized the wrong person. My name is Awan, not Wanting."
After she finished speaking, she turned around and tried to leave, but Xiao Cixiao grabbed her wrist.
Her wrist was very thin, and he could feel her body temperature through her tattered clothes.
"Wanting, I know it's you," Xiao Cixiao's voice was filled with pleading, "Please stop hiding from me, okay?
I know I was wrong. I shouldn't have been so heartless to you and shouldn't have stood by and watched when the Su family was in danger. Come back with me, and I will definitely make it up to you, okay?"
Su Wanting tried hard to shake off his hand, but he held her too tightly and she couldn't get away at all.
She looked at Xiao Cixiao, her eyes filled with disgust and disappointment: "Sir, I say again, I am not Su Wanting, my name is Awan. You have the wrong person, please let me go!"
At this moment, Zhang Tao came over, looked at them, and a mocking smile appeared on the corner of his mouth: "Master Xiao, so this refugee is an old acquaintance of yours?
I didn’t expect that Lord Xiao’s taste is so unique that even refugees like it.”
Xiao Cixiao's face darkened, and he looked at Zhang Tao coldly: "Master Zhang, I advise you to mind your own business, otherwise, don't blame me for being rude to you!"
Zhang Tao smiled disapprovingly: "Master Xiao, you should take care of yourself first.
How long do you think you can stay in the northwest? It won't be long before His Majesty summons you back to the capital and you'll be dismissed and investigated.
By then, you won't even be able to protect yourself, and you still want to protect this refugee?"
Xiao Cixiao ignored Zhang Tao's ridicule. He looked at Su Wanting with a firm look in his eyes: "Wanting, no matter how much you hate me, I will not let you go.
I will find out the truth about the grain payment, clear the Su family's name, and make you trust me again."
Su Wanting looked at him, feeling no emotion in her heart, only coldness.
She knew that what Xiao Cixiao said now was just a momentary impulse.
When he encounters real difficulties, he will still choose to give up on her as before.
She gritted her teeth and bit Xiao Cixiao's hand hard.
Xiao Cixiao felt pain and subconsciously let go of her hand. Su Wanting took the opportunity to turn around and ran away, soon disappearing among the refugees.
Xiao Cixiao looked at the direction where she disappeared, feeling a sense of loss.
Su Wanting hid in a dilapidated temple where refugees lived, her heart still beating violently.
The force with which Xiao Cixiao had gripped her wrist just now was as hot as fire, scalding her skin to the point of numbness, and bringing up all the past events that she had deliberately buried.
"Miss, are you okay?" An old woman nearby handed over half a dry and hard cake, her eyes full of concern. "Did that official bully you just now?"
Su Wanting took the pancake, thanked her softly, and shook her head: "I'm fine, thank you for your concern, mother-in-law."
She lowered her head and took a bite of the pancake. The rough crumbs stung her throat, but she didn't want to chew it carefully. Why did Xiao Cixiao come to the northwest? Wasn't he an imperial censor in the capital? Was he looking for her?
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
