Chapter 39 “I dare to admit that I love you…
The bathroom mirror reflected Shen Xiyu's own face. Now Liang Qi was waiting for her outside. What should she do?
Shen Xiyu scooped up a handful of cold water and splashed it on her face, making her shiver.
Drops of water dripped down her chin, the icy water was piercing her bones, but she felt that this was not enough, not enough to fully wake her up.
"What are you doing?" Liang Qi came over at some point, leaning against the door with his arms folded, looking at Shen Xiyu.
He stretched out his arm, passed the girl's side, and turned the water temperature to hot. "Don't you know there's hot water?"
A few strands of hair on Shen Xiyu's forehead were wet and hung limply on her forehead. Liang Qi raised his hand to help her push the wet hair to both sides.
The girl lowered her eyes, neither hiding nor speaking.
*
"Shall we talk?" Shen Xiyu sat on a single sofa not far from Liang Qi.
The boy looked up at Shen Xiyu in surprise, "I thought you were going to run away."
Shen Xiyu could hear the sting in his words, but knowing he was in the wrong, he couldn't say anything.
Liang Qi leaned back on the sofa, waiting to see what she would say.
When Shen Xiyu saw the sofa under him, the memories of yesterday came to his mind and he was speechless for a moment.
"Speak?" Liang Qi urged her.
His attitude today was very cold, and Shen Xiyu felt that every word he said was meant to challenge him.
I was so angry that I forgot what I wanted to say. "What? You don't recognize me after the kiss?"
Liang Qi's brows twitched slightly. Normally, he would never confront Chen Xiyu like this, but after these two times, he gradually realized that if he didn't push Chen Xiyu, the relationship between the two would become more complicated and confusing, and now it would almost become a "lip friendship".
"Hasn't this been a rare thing for you?"
…
Liang Qi silently oppressed Shen Xiyu with his eyes.
"Do you like me, Shen Xiyu?" Liang Qi seemed not to intend to hear Shen Xiyu's answer and continued, "I originally thought you definitely liked me."
He raised his eyes to look at Shen Xiyu, "But now I really can't be sure. If you like me, you shouldn't ruin our relationship like this. If you don't like me, why do you keep approaching me like this, even though you know what I'm thinking?"
Liang Qi's gaze was as sharp as a substance, piercing into Shen Xiyu's heart, "Am I the one who forced you to do this time and time again?"
"No." Shen Xiyu was a little anxious, "I don't think so."
"What you're doing now tells me that you think so."
Shen Xiyu frowned, "I'm not arguing with you, I said I wanted to talk to you."
"Is it necessary?" Liang Qi said, feeling a little tired. "Your talk is just an excuse for last night."
"Don't act like you're innocent." Shen Xiyu was irritated by his attitude. "I was drunk at the time, were you drunk too? You didn't say anything when we were in love, but now you're here to criticize me."
Liang Qi seemed surprised that she would say such a thing. She was silent for a long time and sighed heavily, "Chen Xiyu, I really am not attacking you. I have always given you absolute love."
There was an emotion brewing in his eyes that Shen Xiyu couldn't understand, "I dare to admit that I love you, do you dare?"
Shen Xiyu's anger was extinguished by the disappointment in Liang Qi's eyes and the word "love", and she also unconsciously thought about this problem.
Does she dare?
Liang Qi asked again, "Do you dare?"
"Liang Qi, I..." Shen Xiyu's voice was filled with tears.
The boy didn't listen to anything else she said, but just stubbornly wanted to get the answer to this question, "Chen Xiyu, do you dare?"
Tears welled up in Shen Xiyu's stunned eyes. She couldn't answer, but felt a pang of pain in her heart, and a huge sense of fear swept over her whole body.
Liang Qi turned his face away, calmed down, walked closer to her, squatted down, and wiped Shen Xiyu's tears with a tissue, "If you can't answer, then don't answer."
He still couldn't bear to treat Shen Xiyu like this, and couldn't bear to see her cry.
"Stop crying and go back, Shen Xiyu."
“…”
*
In the following days, Liang Qi and Shen Xiyu cut off all contact.
Shen Xiyu would often stare at his position in a daze. She flipped through the dialog box on her phone that had no new messages, but never saw a single message come in.
One night, she dreamed of Liang Qi, and it was a nightmare.
On a building, Shen Xiyu was about to fall down. Liang Qi suddenly appeared and grabbed her as she was about to fall. Before the boy could pull her up, Liang Qi, who was high above her, uttered a few words, "Go back, Shen Xiyu."
Then he let go of her.
The huge feeling of weightlessness made Shen Xiyu wake up in a sweat.
*
Liang Qi returned to school on the day of the monthly exam.
Shen Xiyu knew he would come back, because although Liang Qi was absent from school from time to time, he never missed an exam and his grades were always stable.
Liang Qi lay on the table early in the morning to catch up on his sleep, with only his furry head showing.
When Shen Xiyu arrived, he was surprised to see the people sitting there. Qin Yiyan and Dai Meng were on duty today and had arrived early. Shen Xiyu stopped Qin Yiyan, who was sweeping the floor, and asked, "When did he come?"
Qin Yiyan didn't react at first to who Shen Xiyu was talking about. He followed her gaze and understood. He smiled wickedly and said, "Don't you know his whereabouts better than me?"
Judging from his expression, he probably didn't realize they hadn't been in touch for nearly a week. Shen Xiyu didn't intend to say anything more, so he forced a smile and walked back to his seat.
"Did she take mute medicine today?" Qin Yiyan scratched his head.
Dai Meng witnessed the whole process and said, "Let these two figure it out on their own." She looked at Shen Xiyu who was sitting outside watching Liang Qi, "These two are really capable of making trouble."
"What do you know now?" Qin Yiyan chased Dai Meng and asked, "How do you always know? Tell me."
"I don't know, I don't know. Go away." Dai Meng quickened her pace to get rid of him.
"I don't believe it! Tell me."
“…”
Seeing that Liang Qi was sleeping soundly, Chen Xiyu didn't have the heart to disturb him. He stood aside and took out the English words from his schoolbag to memorize. However, he kept wanting to look at the boys after he could not memorize more than two. After realizing that this was very inefficient, he simply closed the book and stared at Liang Qi intently.
That day, Shen Xiyu returned home with red eyes.
She thought a lot afterwards, wondering if she was too cowardly. Liang Qi had been moving forward again and again, but she had been retreating again and again. A heart is not made of wood or stone, so it is impossible not to feel. She realized belatedly that she had been too bad to Liang Qi, really too bad.
But now that things have come to this, Shen Xiyu wants to apologize to Liang Qi, but she doesn't know where to start. She is really afraid that Liang Qi has thought it through and decided not to waste time on her anymore.
As if he sensed something, after just a few minutes, Liang Qi raised his head and looked straight into Shen Xiyu's eyes.
She had no time to dodge, so she could only turn her head to the side and cover herself up clumsily.
"Sorry." Liang Qi stood up and gave her his seat, his tone and expression full of distant politeness.
A sour feeling surged into his nose, and Shen Xiyu said nothing as he took his seat.
Liang Qi didn't make much eye contact with her. After Shen Xiyu came in, he lay down on the table again and completely ignored Shen Xiyu.
The huge sense of gap made her feel very uncomfortable.
For the entire morning, Shen Xiyu and Liang Qi had no communication at all. Even when the teacher asked them to discuss a question, the two of them did not turn towards each other at all.
Shen Xiyu did glance at the other person furtively several times, but seeing that Liang Qi had no intention of talking to her, she couldn't bring herself to try to please him.
At lunch time, the six of them went to the clam noodle shop that Zhang Zhi had mentioned several times.
It's like this when a group of people are all friends. Even if the ex is there, they still have to eat at the same table, not to mention that two people are almost meeting their ex now, and the separation is very undignified.
The restaurant seemed especially cozy in the winter. The proprietress was very busy, but when she saw them, she didn't forget to greet them, "It's been a while since we last ate here!"
"I'm here to support you today." Zhang Zhi joked with the proprietress with a smile.
"You all want the original clam noodles, right?" the proprietress smiled as she folded the table towel and put it in the corner. "Six people, huh?"
"Two servings of very spicy, one serving of medium spicy, one serving of slightly spicy, and two servings of not spicy." Zhang Zhi remembered the tastes of several people very clearly. Even Liang Qi, who seldom ate with them recently, he clearly remembered that he did not eat spicy food.
Qin Yiyan rested his head on Zhang Zhi's shoulder. He was taller than Zhang Zhi, so his hunched body looked funny. "Zhi'er is really considerate."
Chen Ningzhou lifted his leg and pushed them to the seats inside. "If you don't go now, there will be no seats left."
A few people found a big table. Liang Qi walked in front and sat at the innermost seat.
Everyone habitually left a seat next to him. After all, Shen Xiyu and the others used to stick together every day, and everyone had seen it.
Shen Xiyu was neither going forward nor retreating. It wasn't that she didn't want to sit with Liang Qi, it was just too awkward. Besides being awkward, if a few people saw it, she would inevitably feel uncomfortable being sandwiched in the middle.
She hesitated for a long time without moving. Dai Meng looked left and right, then immediately nudged Zhang Zhi, who was standing beside her, with her elbow. "Come in and sit down. I want to sit with Xi Yu."
Zhang Zhi was confused, but he thought that the two girls played together most of the time, so it was normal for them to want to sit together, so he obediently sat next to Liang Qi.
Shen Xiyu felt relieved, then he sat down and gave Dai Meng a look of gratitude.
Dai Meng patted her hand subtly, but didn't say anything else because there were so many people around.
Although the meal was as lively as before, and Liang Qi and Shen Xiyu talked to them with a smile, Shen Xiyu himself felt very uncomfortable.
Liang Qi didn't respond to her, and she wouldn't continue what Liang Qi said. It was normal for two people to joke with others, but as soon as one of them started talking, the other would bury her head in her food.
Shen Xiyu didn't want to do this, but he felt guilty and angry, which made him upset.
On the way back, Qin Yiyan and Liang Qi walked in front, and Shen Xiyu stared at the boy's tall back with resentment.
I couldn't help but wonder about him in my mind.
Why are you pretending not to care? You must really care about me! You're just waiting for me to talk to you!
Shen Xiyu thought maliciously and conceitedly.
You don't really want to stay like this, do you? Liang Qi, I was wrong. Can you please stop being angry? I'm really sorry.
Her left and right brains were fighting each other in her mind again.
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The author has something to say:
It's almost halfway through. It's going so fast.
I don’t know if I can finish this book before summer vacation (I definitely can!)
I'm too lazy, I want to procrastinate every day (please forgive me)
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