Day 1
The moment he regained consciousness, Fu Xunyan staggered.
The floor-length mirror that reflected the gorgeous sunset outside the window also captured the silhouette of a thin young man. Broad, thin shoulders, a slender neck, a perfectly proportioned figure, and...
"Old Fu! Are you mesmerized by your own beauty? Why are you still standing there in a daze? Have you finished your dance practice?"
Fu Xunyan turned his head stiffly following the voice. It was a familiar yet unfamiliar face.
The boy with a rough accent had a face with a completely opposite temperament, short and round, with round eyes, exuding youthful vigor.
It's Jiang Han. Fu Xunyan was certain.
How long has it been since I last saw him? About five years.
Jiang Han was a little frightened by the dazed look in the young man's eyes. He carefully touched the other's forehead.
"I don't have a fever. What's wrong? Are you feeling unwell? Why are you suddenly staring at me like this?"
Fu Xunyan shook his head stiffly - it wasn't that he was feeling uncomfortable.
It was just shocking.
He felt as if he was wrapped in a vacuum, his breath was taken away, and only the roar of time passing by remained in his head.
It is now 2015. Logically speaking, "Fu Xunyan" is only 20 years old at this time, but his will standing here at this moment is already 27 years old.
This year, he and Jiang Han will participate in a talent show, but the road for both of them is not smooth. Jiang Han is badly edited, and he himself remains unknown for some unspeakable reasons.
Two years later, Jiang Han could no longer bear the burden and chose to jump off the roof of the company building.
Fu Xunyan... He left the company with a huge penalty for breach of contract, resumed his studies, and finally graduated at the age of 26. He grew into an adult and was busy with work.
No one is mature from the beginning, those children who are more mature than their peers have just experienced more twists and turns. Those praises and words of affirmation for him sound so harsh, as if they are uncovering his scars and causing unknown pain.
But even though he lived such a boring life, running around day after day in a job that he couldn't tell whether he liked or disliked, Fu Xunyan never thought that there would be an unusual force in this world that would throw him back to 2015.
Why?
His thoughts were suddenly interrupted. Jiang Han grabbed his shoulders and shook him back and forth, with no trace of false worry on his face.
"Brother! Xunyan! What's wrong with you? You look really abnormal today. Did you catch the flu from those guys?" Jiang Han turned Fu Xunyan over and over suspiciously, and suddenly his heart suffocated.
Fu Xunyan looked at Jiang Han's eyes which were wide open, and subconsciously pressed his palm against the other person's forehead.
In an instant, all the familiar feelings returned, and the words flowed out of my mouth unconsciously along the tip of my tongue.
"You should watch less TV dramas. Why would two men rely on their foreheads? Isn't the thermometer useful?"
"Oh, it's because your expression is too scary that I'm worried - look in the mirror and see how scary your face is."
"Just now, the whole thing turned pale!"
Jiang Han held Fu Xunyan's face in front of the floor-length mirror, and the white film in Fu Xunyan's vision gradually dissipated.
The light of the setting sun hit the young man's profile, perfectly distinguishing the light and dark colors.
His tall nose instantly caught his eye, followed by his narrow, fox-like eyes. At this time, Jiang Han often complained about his lack of energy, with his lazy eyelids always drooping.
The diamond-shaped lips were beautiful in shape but pale, and with the beads of sweat hanging from his temples, the young man in the mirror looked like a mermaid who had just been pulled out of the water - beautiful and weak but cruel by nature. Anyone who stared at his movements for more than ten seconds could feel this with animal instinct.
Fu Xunyan wiped the sweat off his face and sat down on a leather bench nearby. To be honest, he really needed a quiet environment to clear his mind.
However, before Jiang Han could start talking about taking Fu Xunyan to the clinic next to the company for a check-up, someone pushed open the door of the practice room.
The man who came in was about forty years old, and he paid attention to exercise. He was not tall but had a muscular body. His eyes were full of purpose like an eagle, and he was staring at Jiang Han and Fu Xunyan.
"What about practice?"
Jiang Han, who was sitting next to Fu Xunyan to rest, felt his butt burning and jumped up suddenly - the other party was just asking a simple question, but it seemed like he was scolding them for being lazy.
"Brother Li, you're here! Fu Xunyan and I just finished dancing, and we wanted to work out the details before continuing."
Li Pengcheng didn't care about Jiang Han's answer. He frowned and looked at Fu Xunyan who was staring at him.
Fu Xunyan was a trainee he had personally discovered a year ago. His past experiences... it's better not to mention them. In Li Pengcheng's view, they were all minor problems. In essence, Li Pengcheng knew that it was not Fu Xunyan's fault.
But if it is exposed later, it will be troublesome.
Li Pengcheng grasped Fu Xunyan's weakness. As a mature agent, he did not have any good feelings like the newcomers who had just entered the industry. He always gave Fu Xunyan tasks in a formulaic manner because he also understood that Fu Xunyan was a sensible person.
It is precisely because he knows what's good for him that he looks particularly "well-behaved" now.
But being too obedient is not good either. The contrast between before and after is so great that every time Li Pengcheng chats with Fu Xunyan, he has the illusion that the other party has turned into a sophisticated AI and has lost his soul.
I don’t know why, but today Fu Xunyan suddenly changed back to his old self. His gaze was too direct, so direct that Li Pengcheng felt offended.
But Li Pengcheng wouldn't argue with a kid who was only twenty years old. Seeing that he wasn't in a good state, he guessed that it might just be unintentional. Li Pengcheng walked in and handed a few sheets of paper to Jiang Han.
"The company has already made arrangements. You and Fu Xunyan will be on 'New Century Idol'. The preliminary plan is here. Go back and check it."
Fu Xunyan didn't need to glance. Although it had been seven years - seven years - everything was still vivid in his mind. The dormant brain cells instantly woke up, bringing the dusty memories that he thought he had long forgotten to his mind.
"Touring Love Song", two black suits, overly heavy makeup, Jiang Han's overly strenuous expression management and his own poor skill in love songs, finally got two Ds.
At this time, Li Pengcheng's career was hindered and he had some disputes with the company, so the company gave better resources to the same group of trainees except the two of them, and asked them to participate in another lucrative and popular program. As a result, their traffic soared.
On the other hand, due to the factional disputes within the company and the hope of another team becoming popular, Li Pengcheng's rival, Mr. Zhang, directly intervened in the matter, trying to make Fu Xunyan and Jiang Han the last straw that broke the camel's back.
So he ordered the program team to cut him and Jiang Han out early on, not allowing them to show up in any way.
Li Pengcheng was not greatly affected, but the life situations of him and Jiang Han took a sharp turn for the worse.
Facing Fu Xunyan's inexplicable gaze, Li Pengcheng dryly urged the two to practice harder.
"Brother Li, wait a moment." Fu Xunyan stopped Li Pengcheng. The tall young man leaned against the glass door, and his face was vaguely reflected in the mirror.
Li Pengcheng paused: "What's wrong?"
"Brother Li, I know that there's already... between you and Mr. Zhang... but can I make a deal with you?"
Li Pengcheng's heart skipped a beat, and then he felt a little unhappy. He lowered his eyebrows and looked at Fu Xunyan calmly, with anger rising in his pupils: "You listen to all kinds of things. What? You want to change jobs?"
Fu Xunyan was not afraid of his questioning, his eyes, as black as glass, were calm and peaceful.
"No, not for now. I just want to ask you to stay at the company and watch over us until the first stage is played. Jiang Han and I won't let you lose money."
Jiang Han had no idea what Fu Xunyan and Li Pengcheng talked about afterwards, he was just very surprised.
I was surprised that Fu Xunyan dared to make such a big guarantee.
"Now I can only try my best for you." Knowing the conditions promised by Fu Xunyan and Li Pengcheng, Jiang Han had a headache but was not troubled. He patted Fu Xunyan's shoulder with a smile and held him in his arms again.
"The company is really biased. They sent two of us to 'New Century Idol', but the other three were sent to 'Go! Boys!' I heard that show has super strong publicity and promotion, and several of the trainees are super rich second-generations. The show is bound to be very popular."
Fu Xunyan's hair was ruffled by Jiang Han's touch. He struggled out of Jiang Han's embrace, his eyes trembling between light and darkness. In the end, he simply said to comfort him: "Don't think about it. It's better to break up. We don't get along with them."
"That's true." Jiang Han muttered in agreement, then continued to flip through the materials with his head down. The only sound in the practice room was the rustling of papers.
What does it feel like to meet a companion who died five years ago in your memory?
Fu Xunyan felt as if a hole had been dug in his heart by the sharp and painful memories, and wind was leaking out from there.
He stiffly avoided looking at Jiang Han's face and suppressed all sour emotions.
Jiang Han and Fu Xunyan were not close friends, but at least he was a good person. It was precisely because he was a genuinely good person that he became the only trainee in the company that Fu Xunyan was willing to interact with.
Jiang Han probably also felt that among this group of trainees, only Fu Xunyan was worth making friends with.
The two had similar personalities and values. Jiang Han was two years older than her and had just graduated from a low-ranking university.
Whether in terms of self-control, personality or any other aspect, he and Jiang Han are "oddballs".
So they are clearly separated from the other people in this group - it’s not that those people are bad, but they love to play and entertain, and their personalities also retain the reckless romance and willfulness of this age, as well as some reckless and hurtful aspects, so the two groups cannot communicate with each other.
They think Jiang Han and Fu Xunyan are dull, boring, conservative and old-fashioned.
On the other hand, Fu Xunyan's face and Jiang Han's dancing skills also made them wary - apart from making friends, the most obvious label they had for each other was competitors.
Competitors are the most important labels attached to each other's heads, reminding them at all times to be vigilant, careful, and not to be foolishly tolerant.
Jiang Han beside him was still looking at the planning, muttering about everything from the costumes to the makeup, as well as the character design given to them by the company.
Fu Xunyan could hardly hear a word. He just stared blankly at the setting sun, trying hard to block out Jiang Han's voice and think.
If there really is a "God", why would he let himself go back to this time?
Save Jiang Han?
Is Jiang Han the chosen one? If so, why would he just let Jiang Han be reborn? Why did he have to go back to 2015?
Or... just give yourself a choice.
choose?
Fu Xunyan picked his knuckles unconsciously, rubbing off the dead skin on that part of his fingers. He restrained his itchy teeth from biting.
I was given a second chance at life.
But it seemed too late. If he could go back to when he was sixteen, everything would be in time...
If the fact that has come to light at this point in time when they are about to participate in the talent show cannot be changed, then the best option for Fu Xunyan is to immediately pull Jiang Han out of "New Century Idol".
In that way, Jiang Han would not be maliciously edited, and he would not be forced to death because of the attacks of black fans. He would not have wasted two years and still be depressed because of Jiang Han's death.
However, the moment he saw Li Pengcheng, he had already made up his mind and he instinctively resisted and escaped.
After entering this circle in his previous life, he always sought stability because he was young and didn't know anything, and because he couldn't let go of the past.
Later, he wanted to reveal his insolence and willfulness, but the years that passed by inadvertently had stolen his choice.
The adult world closes its doors to those without original capital, leaving them huddled at the door like a homeless person.
Until the spine is bent and learn to flatter.
The public is always your "breadwinner" rather than your "parents". Unless they are willing to take the initiative to understand you, there is no obligation for them to believe in your character. They are only responsible for what they see and hear.
So in their opinion, the existence of Fu Xunyan in "New Century Idol" is awkward. He has excellent appearance but no personal charm.
Even though they knew very well that as a "poor man", Fu Xunyan's shots added up were not as many as those of someone who only had one round.
His occasional sharp thorns were also considered hypocrisy, so they reasonably withdrew all their sincerity.
Fu Xunyan had no right to blame them, but he was truly hurt. A young man in his early twenties, he looked around in confusion, and yet those past events were brought up again to criticize and lash out.
As the protagonist of the incident, his voice was suppressed by doubts and no one cared about him, let alone believed him.
He could only restrain himself in the subsequent journey and maintain stability like dead water, as if only in this way could he go further.
But reality would occasionally strike him on cold nights, reminding him that he once feared life, which shone brightly for a moment and then slipped away like a shooting star, but in the end he ended up living in obscurity, always being trampled underfoot.
If he wanted to live a stable life from the beginning, why did he accept Li Pengcheng's invitation to join the entertainment company?
Countless memories flashed before Fu Xunyan's eyes. In an instant, the thoughts about fate and opportunity tightened his nerves, causing him to gradually wake up in severe pain.
No, I shouldn't have run away.
Although participating in the draft still has unknown challenges, this time, he wants to stand there as his true self and ask the world -
Can I, as I am now, be accepted, loved, and save myself and others?
**
"Love is like thorns, which make the heart full of holes
Wrapped in a fragile body
Watering the scars of willfulness
We are lost in the grass of scolding and blaming
Let the spreading fog cover the sky."
"Please hug me tight
Let the intense love make me hurt"
"Please hug me tight
Let the painful love hurt me deeply"
Accompanied by a few fierce drum beats, the sound of the guitar gradually faded, and the last trace of the ending sound - both the instrument and the person, were like a taut string breaking in the trembling, tightly grasping the person's breath and letting go.
The stage lighting was actually nothing special. Compared to the previous group, this group obviously didn't spend any money. During the entire performance, the lighting didn't change deliberately, it simply followed the speaker.
But everyone present felt dizzy looking at the stage below, and they lost control of their expressions in shock.
Three seconds later, the chief star maker Jiang Sulin smiled and clapped, which woke the others up from their dreams. They subconsciously followed suit, but their eyes were fixed on his face and could not move away.
The camera mechanically recorded the audience's unusual expressions, then strategically captured a close-up. The director, perched on his small stool, watched the footage from the stage's most expensive camera, and couldn't help but sigh—this scene would surely become a classic moment in his talent show production.
The reason is simple: it is too beautiful and too shocking.
In the close-up, the background behind the boy is only a light blue area rendered by the light, while his black hair and white skin, which occupy almost half of the entire picture, form a strong contrast.
From hairline to chin, every detail was exquisite. Yet, that refinement was free of the cosmetic stigma of today's youth, relying almost entirely on her natural features. Her slightly narrow, fox-like eyes were perfectly narrowed, the light reflected in her pupils, giving the impression of someone drowning in a spring stream.
Especially the small mole on the tip of the nose - the director couldn't help but curse.
"Kids nowadays are really good at growing up!"
If he had a face like this, he would use it to bully the whole world... Unfortunately, he doesn't have it, so he can only make a living by relying on his talent.
Oh no, he also has talent, and his talent is more intuitive.
"Your performance was amazing." Even though he has been in the industry for fifteen years and has successfully transformed into a dual-role star, Jiang Sulin couldn't help but sigh while holding the microphone.
He is already thirty-five years old, but time has not left much mark on his face, and he is still handsome.
"The choreography is very innovative and the coordination is high. From the singing to the short rap, it's a perfect performance." Jiang Sulin commented while quickly reading the information card - it's good to read it once before the first stage, but after several hours of recording and the information of hundreds of people, people always forget it after watching it.
"Hmm, it's a self-composed song? What a surprise." Jiang Sulin glanced and saw that the first name after the lyrics and music was "Fu Xunyan", and immediately looked up and found the child named Fu Xunyan among the two.
Compared to his frank and enthusiastic praise, the other person's expression was somewhat—dull. He didn't have the usual shyness or timidity, nor did he have the excited and confident smile. He simply raised his lips politely and bowed.
But Jiang Sulin didn't care. He knew better than anyone the lack of creative idols in China. Even though the song "Love Thorn" was not very mature, and even had some of the whining of a middle school boy, the young man in front of him obviously had a unique innate talent, which he could combine with his performance to dazzle people.
"Did you write this song? Trainee Fu Xunyan?" The male singer beside him was even more excited. His name was Ou Ruo, and he was a well-known talented songwriter in the circle. "Although it's immature, the melody is very good."
At this time, Fu Xunyan on the stage finally calmed down the breathlessness caused by the intense singing and dancing. Jiang Han beside him handed him the microphone tacitly, and there was only encouragement in his clear eyes.
There was only encouragement and joy, no jealousy or loss, which was completely different from the image of him that the program crew later edited.
Fu Xunyan was distracted for a moment, but Jiang Han held the microphone firmly in his hand, preventing it from slipping.
Fu Xunyan knew that he couldn't keep the stage waiting too long, so he cleared his throat and took it.
"The arrangement was remade by the company's professional team, and only the lyrics and music are mine."
This serious and even somewhat inappropriate statement made Ou Ruo stunned for a moment, but he had a better impression of Fu Xunyan instead - nowadays some young people just changed a few words and vaguely claimed to the outside world that the song was written by themselves. In comparison, Fu Xunyan's "meticulousness" was very sincere.
"Were you the one who wrote the lyrics and music? The composition is very good, but the lyrics - to be honest, they are still a little immature. Too much attention is paid to rhyme, and the expression of the meaning needs to be more natural." Ou Ruo has always spoken frankly, and the words he chose at this time were restrained enough. He didn't want to offend Fu Xunyan.
"Well, I wrote it in high school. I wanted to revise it, but I didn't think it was necessary."
The young man on the stage had a steady gaze, neither dodging nor evading, and was quite calm, which made his appearance even more attractive. The directors and team assistants couldn't even hear what Fu Xunyan was saying, but just stared blankly at the face in the camera, as if it was a whirlpool.
"Why isn't it necessary? Since the arrangement has been remade, the lyrics should also be upgraded, right?" Ou Ruo was a little unhappy.
Fu Xunyan stroked the microphone. Yes, they should have revised it together, but why didn't they? He heard his voice spread throughout the studio through the microphone, a mixture of sincerity and concealment for some purpose.
“Because I want to remind myself of the original intention of writing songs, and warn myself – each song may be adapted many times, but sometimes there is only one chance for people to hear it. If I don’t give it my all the first time, it will likely be as regrettable as this song.”
No one would have thought that the person on the stage would give such an explanation.
Even the five instructors couldn't help but look at each other and were secretly shocked.
Apart from anything else, this child is very thoughtful and goal-oriented.
Looking at the beautiful face and artistically curled semi-long hair in the spotlight on the stage, everyone had a particularly deep first impression of Fu Xunyan.
This cool and handsome young man is full of sharp thorns of personality, just like his songs.
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