After breakfast, they took the subway to the Provincial Library. They were a little late this time, so the library was already open. Fortunately, there were still some seats available, so they each took a book and sat side by side.
Xiang Ling has always been very focused when reading. Logically, if someone you like is sitting next to you, your attention will be distracted to some extent, but Xiang Ling didn't do that at all. He had no idea at all and was concentrating on the two lines of words he was reading.
However, Su Luyang would occasionally shift his gaze from the book to Xiang Ling.
Xiang Ling likes to nod from time to time when he reads. His hair is long and naturally curly, and he ties it into a small bun hanging behind his head. The bun always swings with his movements, which is very cute.
Su Luyang didn't want to disturb Xiang Ling from reading, but later he felt itchy and reached out to grab Xiang Ling's little bun.
Xiang Ling stopped moving for a moment and turned to look at Su Luyang with a slightly dazed look, like a person who had just fallen asleep and was woken up. But Su Luyang knew that Xiang Ling was so engrossed in his own thoughts that he couldn't concentrate at all.
"What's wrong?" Since loud noises were not allowed in the library, Xiang Ling leaned close to Su Luyang's ear and asked in a very low voice.
Su Luyang felt the hot air from his words spray onto his ears, making them itchy and numb. He inexplicably liked this feeling. He also imitated Xiang Ling's movements and said to Xiang Ling, "My feet are numb."
Xiang Ling: “…”
"My feet are numb?" Xiang Ling was stunned. He looked down at Su Luyang's long legs and couldn't understand why his legs were numb when he was sitting well and didn't even cross his legs.
"It's so numb that I can't even move." Su Luyang's voice was trembling, like a little kitten acting coquettishly. Xiang Ling's ears turned red when he heard it.
There was no other way, so Xiang Ling had to ask: "What should we do then?"
Su Luyang said: "Can you help me rub it?"
"Rubbing your feet in the library?" Xiang Ling wasn't sure if Su Luyang's feet were really numb or if he was just teasing him.
"Please help me rub it. I can't bend my waist and it's really uncomfortable." Su Luyang said while breathing slightly.
Xiang Ling found it funny and looked at Su Luyang's legs again.
Xiang Ling has always been the tallest person in dormitory 605. He became the second tallest after Su Luyang came. Su Luyang has a very good body proportion and a pair of long legs that truly reflects the saying "everything below the neck is legs". When Xiang Ling first met Su Luyang, in addition to looking at his face, he paid attention to his legs.
He thought about it and didn't refuse, and really put his hand on Su Luyang's leg.
As soon as he put it on, Su Luyang hissed again.
Xiang Ling smiled.
He knew that Su Luyang was pretending.
"Are your feet really numb?" Xiang Ling asked.
Su Luyang nodded seriously.
Xiang Ling raised the corner of his mouth and whispered, "Then why are you screaming when I touch your thigh?"
Su Luyang's expression didn't change at all. He said calmly, "Everyone says that the fingers are connected to the heart. My long legs are connected to my feet. Every part of my body shares the same joys and sorrows as my feet. So... do you want to touch it?"
Su Luyang said this bluntly. Xiang Ling looked at him and licked his lips. He had never flirted in a serious place like a library, but he didn't expect it to feel so good.
Su Luyang must like him, Xiang Ling thought, otherwise why would he do this.
Xiang Ling looked at Su Luyang but didn't ask in the end. It was not convenient to say such things in such a place, and he himself had not yet figured out how to deal with the relationship with Su Luyang.
Let's continue the ambiguity for a while, it's pretty good.
"Then if I rub here, will your feet feel comfortable too?" Xiang Ling changed his hand and placed it on Xiang Ling's thigh, while the other hand was placed on the table to support his head.
Xiang Ling looked at Su Luyang sideways, his eyes burning with heat.
"No matter where you rub me, I feel comfortable."
Xiang Ling: “…”
Tsk, what a little goblin.
I don’t know how wild I will be in bed in the future.
Xiang Ling felt angry and thought about taking care of this witch, but when he glanced over, he saw the girl in the little red dress behind Su Luyang.
Xiang Ling regained his senses in an instant.
He retracted his hand, picked up the pen he had just placed beside him, and his tone returned to being cold: "You can rub it yourself, I want to read a book."
Su Luyang blinked, not understanding why the atmosphere was so good just now, but Xiang Ling's attitude changed so suddenly.
Just as Su Luyang was about to speak, Xiang Ling put his index finger to his lips and pointed at the wall in front of him. Su Luyang looked over and saw a note on it that read "No Noise in the Library."
Well, Su Luyang stopped flirting and lowered his head to read the book honestly.
At noon, the two of them went to the shopping mall next door to eat hot pot dishes. The atmosphere was not warm, but rather a little cold, even awkward.
Xiang Ling sighed from the bottom of his heart. In the end, he was the first to show goodwill. He picked up a piece of chicken wing and put it into Su Luyang's bowl. He said in a gentle voice, "Brother Luyang, please smile."
Su Luyang glanced at Xiang Ling and said nothing.
Actually, this was nothing. The two of them had been flirting with each other for a while, and now one of them was suddenly unhappy. Su Luyang couldn't really be angry with Xiang Ling over such a small matter. There was no need, and no reason.
If they were a couple, this kind of "anger" could be considered as fun.
But they are not. At best, they can only be considered roommates, the kind of roommates with a little bit of ambiguity.
So Su Luyang gave Xiang Ling a typical male god smile in return, and said: "Brother Xiang Ling, smile too."
Only then did Xiang Ling laugh.
The two didn't say anything about what happened just now. They finished their meal quietly and started shopping in the mall together to choose a birthday present for Ji Qiulin.
"What does he like?" Su Luyang asked.
Xiang Ling didn't know how to tell Su Luyang. After thinking for a long time, he said, "Buy her a hat."
"He likes hats?" Su Luyang asked.
Xiang Ling nodded. Actually, Ji Qiulin didn't like hats, but at the moment he could only think of hats, and the easiest thing to buy in shopping malls were unisex styles.
"You should buy her a Minnie Mouse hat." Xiang Ling said, "She likes Minnie Mouse."
"Oh, I remember that he and Ah Hai wore Mickey and Minnie couple outfits on the first day they came to school." Su Luyang said.
"Yes, there is a specialty store downstairs, let's go and have a look." Xiang Ling said.
Because Xiang Ling had told Su Lvyang that she wanted to buy a hat, Su Lvyang went straight to the accessories section after entering the store. Before he went over, Xiang Ling said, "I'm going to look at some clothes. I'll buy her a set of clothes. You can choose first."
So the two of them separated, one to the left and the other to the right, one went to the accessories area and the other went to the clothing area.
Xiang Ling did this for a purpose. He didn't intend to let Su Luyang see what clothes he bought. As long as Ji Qiulin didn't say something, some things would always remain a secret to Xiang Ling.
Politely declining the waiter's approach, Xiang Ling walked deeper and deeper, turned a corner and reached Su Luyang's blind spot, and at the same time walked into the women's clothing area.
He came to choose a skirt. The gift he wanted to give to Ji Qiulin was a skirt that Ji Qiulin had been eyeing for a long time but had never dared to buy.
On Su Luyang's first day at school, Xiang Ling told him that he was not allowed to be naked in the dormitory or masturbate in the dormitory. It was not because of any inexplicable reason, and there was nothing special about their dormitory. It was just that everyone had one or two secrets that were not easy to tell others.
Like him, his unspeakable secret is his weird sexual fetish.
He has a cross-dressing fetish. In public or private, as long as he wears women's clothes or one or two women's products, he will feel a strong impulse and pleasure. This fetish does not mean that he can only have sex when wearing women's clothes, but if he can wear women's clothes, the pleasure will be doubled.
Not everyone can accept this.
Especially when I bumped into Xiang Ling's figure and appearance.
It’s not that Xiang Ling hasn’t tried to date anyone, but whenever he mentioned women’s clothing to someone in a subtle way, the response he got was either perverted or disgusting, in short, there was not a single good word.
Xiang Ling gradually stopped talking about it, and no longer mentioned the matter of love.
In fact, after Luo Ruixue confessed to him and said the word "love", Xiang Ling had already guessed that Luo Ruixue might also have a special sexual fetish.
In the subsequent conversation, he did learn about Luo Ruixue's hobbies.
Xiang Ling may not be aware of how fascinating his appearance and temperament are to many people like Luo Ruixue.
Before chatting with Luo Ruixue, Xiang Ling had learned about this group for some reason, but he had no intention of getting close to them. Maybe Luo Ruixue and the others liked her very much, but he couldn't do things to his partner that he considered too violent. In his opinion, that wasn't love, it was too cruel.
As for Ji Qiulin, her story is much more troublesome than Xiang Ling's.
Ji Qiulin is a transgender person. What is a transgender person? Many people say that transgender people are created by God with the wrong body.
To put it simply, their psychological gender is misaligned with their physical gender in terms of identification and expression.
For example, Ji Qiulin, although his body is male, his mind is that of a girl.
Of course, there are some people whose biological gender is female but whose psychological gender is male, but Xiang Ling has not met them yet, or he may have met them but does not know it.
Many people don't understand transgender people, and most people's first reaction when they meet one is to be unacceptable.
Strange looks and hurtful words are commonplace for them.
For Ji Qiulin, she only knew that she was born a girl, but for no reason she had organs that belonged only to men, and she also lost the parts that she should have had.
This is cruel and unspeakable.
Ji Qiulin has received a lot of abuse since she was a child because of her feminine personality and petite figure. People at that time didn't know what transgender people were, so they called her a sissy and said she was not a man. When she grew up, they called her a lesbian and said she deserved to be fucked.
Ji Qiulin had always been a coward before college. Jiang Yuanhai was her only salvation, and only Jiang Yuanhai would help her, save her and accompany her again and again.
However, when facing Jiang Yuanhai, Ji Qiulin never dared to tell her secret, and she didn't dare tell anyone.
She didn't dare go to the school toilet, didn't dare live in the school dormitory, didn't dare go swimming, didn't dare go to any place where she might expose her body, and even more so, didn't dare go to any place where she might see naked men.
It was not until high school that she finally mustered up the courage to tell Jiang Yuanhai about this. After the college entrance examination, they confirmed their relationship.
Jiang Yuanhai's acceptance was a shot in the arm for Ji Qiulin, so shortly after the college entrance examination, she told her parents about it.
At that time, she wanted to say that she wanted to save up some money and go to S City for surgery to become a real woman.
But this time, what he got was not understanding or tolerance, but hysteria and crazy cursing.
Ji Qiulin earned her tuition by working part-time, and until now her tuition and living expenses have been saved up bit by bit by herself.
She hasn't been able to go home for two years, and this is the third year.
When she was a freshman in college, for some unknown reason, Ji Qiulin chose to believe Xiang Ling and told him her story, which led to Xiang Ling buying her a skirt today.
Ji Qiulin didn't dare to buy it. Although she became more cheerful year by year, there was still a huge scar deep in her heart. In the past two years, whenever she saw something she liked, she couldn't help but yearn for it, but she was always unable to take the initiative to get it.
Ji Qiulin has always wanted a skirt of her own, and she hopes that one day she can wear it out boldly, holding hands with Jiang Yuanhai, ignoring everyone, and walking happily on the street.
Xiang Ling is actually the same. Although he seems to be indifferent to everything, in fact, if he really wants to buy a skirt he likes, he can't do it.
He still doesn't have a skirt of his own, a pink skirt of his own.
This year was a breakthrough. During the summer vacation, Ji Qiulin and Jiang Yuanhai decided to go to Singapore for National Day, a place where no one knew them.
Ji Qiulin has a petite figure and her appearance is androgynous. If she changes into a beautiful dress and does some simple makeup, no one will be able to tell.
That's why Xiang Ling decided to give this dress to Ji Qiulin as a birthday gift, hoping that he could fulfill his wish and be himself without regrets and fear.
(Please see it as a word)
The author has something to say:
Thanks for your support.
Although you all already know that Qiulin is a girl, due to some special features of the novel, I only use "she" to refer to Qiulin in this chapter.
Just a brief explanation of this matter, nothing else.
"Psychological gender is misaligned with physical gender in terms of identification and expression." - From the public account: Transgender Life
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