☆, 41 I don’t want to love you anymore
The meal tasted bland to all three of them.
Huo Cheng and Nan Jinnian seemed to be competing with each other, constantly putting food into Xia Anan's bowl. The small bowl was filled with dishes from the entire table. Not only that, Huo Cheng also brought his unused plate to Xia Anan and carefully placed the fish meat with the bones picked out on the plate.
Nan Jinnian was not to be outdone. She peeled the mantis shrimp for Xia Anan, dipped them in sauce, and put them in a bowl.
Just like that, Xia Anan had only taken a few bites when all the containers in front of her were full.
After lunch, Xia Anan looked at Nan Jinnian, who still didn't plan to leave: "Boss Nan, aren't you busy?"
Nan Jinnian had already asked Lin Cheng to go back to the company first, so he is not busy now.
But he didn't answer, instead he said, "Do you want to go see my parents?"
Xia Anan was stunned for a moment. How did he know that I was going to meet Uncle Nan and Aunt Nan?
"Huo Cheng, go back to the company first." Xia Anan looked at Huo Cheng.
Now that I can calm down, I should finish some things as soon as possible.
But how could Huo Cheng let Xia An'an and Nan Jinnian be alone? To him, Nan Jinnian was just as dangerous as the Xia family! They were both the murderers of his An'an!
"No! I'll go with you!" Huo Cheng looked at Nan Jinnian warily.
"Huo Cheng! There are some things that are inconvenient for you." Xia Anan's words were obviously ambiguous, but Huo Cheng understood and gritted his teeth in anger: "An An! If this guy does anything bad to you, call me immediately!"
As he said that, he took Xia Anan's phone and set himself as the emergency contact.
"Okay, I get it." Xia Anan smiled at him helplessly.
Nan Jinnian stood aside and watched quietly, but he was actually very panicked inside. He was afraid that Xia Anan would break up with everything they had in the past, and that because of the hurt he had caused her, she would no longer love him.
Xia Anan didn't care much about Nan Jinnian, who appeared calm on the surface but was actually very panicked inside.
The two of them spoke in silence along the way.
Xia Anan tried her best to ignore the man next to her, while the man's brain was working quickly, trying to bring up a topic, but he didn't know what topic to start.
Finally, he spoke: "I will have someone on the crew help you keep an eye on the Xia family."
When she heard Nan Jinnian speak, she thought he was going to say something, but she didn't expect it was about what happened at noon. She said softly, "Thank you."
Hearing the lukewarm response, Nan Jinnian slapped himself on the forehead twice, but since he had spoken, he had to continue: "You don't have to thank me. It's always been because I was too self-righteous, so... I ended up like this."
Xia Anan suddenly remembered what happened between Nan Jinnian and Xia Bin at noon, and thought of what he said at that time, so she couldn't help but said nervously: "Lin Xin told you everything..."
"Yes..." Nan Jinnian nodded.
The heart, which was far from calm, suddenly began to surge.
She suddenly shouted, "Stop the car!"
Nan Jinnian looked at her when he heard that, only to see Xia Anan curled up in her seat and beginning to sweat.
"I want to get off!" Xia Anan looked out the window. Why! Why did she need to know all that?
She hoped that Nan Jinnian would never know about her like that in his entire life!
But why?! Why let him know?!
Xia Anan's mind began to become confused!
She lost her composure, and once her past self and Nan Jinnian and Xia Anan were involved, she would definitely lose control!
No matter how much time passed! No matter how much mental preparation she had made!
She would rather go to jail than tell him, she would rather let him torture her than tell him! She would rather lose her child than tell him...
That was her dirtiest past!
She didn't want these to contaminate her most beautiful lover!
"An'an... calm down!" Nan Jinnian hurriedly pulled over to the side of the road, but did not open the car door. Xia An'an frantically pulled at the door lock, but couldn't open it.
Nan Jinnian loosened his seat belt and straightened Xia Anan in front of him: "Xia Anan! I never cared about your past! Look at me! Look at me! The Xia Anan I like will always be the best! No matter what she has been through! She will always be the one I love the most!"
It seemed that Nan Jinnian's words had some effect, but Xia Anan's trembling body showed that her emotions were not stable.
"An An... I used to be too self-righteous. I thought that as long as I loved you, I would put the best of everything in front of you and give you everything I thought was good. But I never tried to understand you... I thought everything was too simple, and later I became too obsessed..." Nan Jinnian held Xia An An in his arms.
Xia Anan closed her eyes and listened quietly.
"If I could truly understand your heart and your life, if I could let go of those prejudices..."
"An'an...Xia An'an, I'm sorry." Nan Jinnian hugged Xia An'an tightly. In the past two years, he has been constantly reflecting and recalling the strangeness of his lover when he was with Xia An'an.
But at that time he thought Xia Anan loved him, and since he loved Xia Anan, there would be no problem... He felt that Xia Anan would not leave him, and he had that kind of childish self-confidence.
So he ignored... ignored Xia Anan's strangeness and her pain.
"Nan Jinnian..." Xia Anan left his arms and said, "But I don't want to love you now."
She had loved him for seven years, and she still loved him now, but she didn't want to love anymore... She didn't want to chase the sun anymore...
After hearing what Xia Anan said, Nan Jinnian was completely panicked. He hurriedly held Xia Anan in his arms: "I'm sorry... Anan... It's my fault! Everything is my fault..."
"Nan Jinnian... I'm not worthy of you." She wasn't worthy from the beginning.
She was a puddle of mud on the ground, and he was the light in the sky. This had been her delusion from the beginning.
"No! You are worthy of me! You are the only one in this world who is worthy of me!" Nan Jinnian at this moment looked very much like the childish and stubborn Nan Jinnian when they were together.
Xia Anan smiled bitterly...If she had heard it two years ago, maybe she wouldn't have jumped into the sea...But time has really taken away a lot.
She is not young anymore, nor a little girl anymore, and he is in his thirties, neither of them is young anymore...
After nearly ten years of being together, the fact that they've become what they are now can only mean that they shouldn't have been together from the beginning...
"Nan Jinnian, take me to meet Uncle Nan and Aunt Nan." Xia Anan said lightly.
Nan Jinnian slowly let go of her: "Okay..."
It doesn’t matter what, as long as you don’t say you don’t love him... He can’t bear it!
Two years later, Xia Anan stood in front of the grave of the Nan couple again.
I still remember that time when Nan Jinnian was speaking harshly to me, and Zhao Meiqi was standing next to him... At that time, I had just come out of the hospital...
Some damage has already been done. It’s not that I’m heartbroken, but I’ve become numb... It doesn’t matter... anything is fine.
So she gave up.
"Uncle Nan, Aunt Nan... An'an is here to see you." Xia An'an stood in front of the tombstone with a faint smile on her face. "Is it that I took so long to come see you? You won't blame me, right? I'm working as an assistant to a celebrity now. My life is pretty good. The company provides food and accommodation, and I've saved a lot of money. I may come back less often in the future. I want to continue developing in the capital, maybe I can become an agent."
Xia Anan was lost in thought as she stared at the photo on the tombstone. Nan Jinnian stood beside her, looking at her quietly, but his fists were clenched tightly.
Finally, Xia Anan spoke again: "Uncle Nan, Aunt Nan... Anan is very grateful to you... It is you who gave Anan a warm home... It is you who gave Anan a very beautiful lover... But Anan still let you down."
"An..." Nan Jinnian wanted to speak, but couldn't say anything.
"It was An'an who was sorry for you, but An'an didn't know how to atone for your sins..." Xia An'an squatted in front of the two tombstones, stroking the words on them with both hands: "I'm sorry..."
She quietly looked at the photo on the tombstone, then stood up and looked at Nan Jinnian. Suddenly, she bowed deeply to Nan Jinnian and said, "It was me who harmed you. Even if I wasn't the direct murderer, I was an accomplice..."
She stood up and looked at Nan Jinnian: "So... Jinnian, our relationship ends here."
"I don't agree!" Nan Jinnian grabbed Xia Anan tightly: "We can't stop here! It wasn't you who was wrong in the first place! It was the Xia family! It was them! It has nothing to do with you!"
"But my last name is Xia! I was raised by him, and at that time I was indeed... their accomplice!" Xia Anan smiled bitterly.
In fact, for Xia Anan, she didn't know how to face the current Nan Jinnian... Because this Nan Jinnian was very similar to the Nan Jinnian of the past...
"Xia Anan! I will agree to do whatever you ask me to do! But if you ask me to give up the relationship between us... I can't do it!" Nan Jinnian tried hard to control his emotions.
"Even if you ask me to give up the entire Huateng, I can do that! But except you!" Nan Jinnian hugged Xia Anan tightly!
Xia Anan was helpless and said in a deep voice: "Don't you hate me? It was me who killed your father! It was me who drove your mother crazy, and it was me who destroyed your family!"
Nan Jinnian suddenly calmed down. He looked into Xia Anan's eyes quietly, as if he wanted to see something from them. Xia Anan felt a little uncomfortable being stared at like that and looked away.
"I used to be self-righteous... but... An'an, I'm already over 30, I can tell who's right and who's wrong." Nan Jin gently touched Xia An'an's cheek: "I looked into what happened back then. You took the blame for them. I don't know what Xia Rui used to threaten you at the time, but I believe... it must have something to do with me... right?"
"You..." Xia Anan was a little frightened.
"An An... please give me another chance... I was the one who provoked you in the first place... You can't just let me give up my feelings for you like this." Nan Jinnian said in a pleading tone, and the deep affection in his eyes made Xia An An unable to look him in the face...
She bit her tongue, letting the pain numb the discomfort in her chest: "I'm sorry...please let me go."
After hearing this, Nan Jinnian slowly let go of Xia Anan...
Let go?
He felt he couldn't do it.
Don’t let go?
But... the person in front of him had been tortured by him and suffered terribly...
He looked at the two tombstones, at his parents...
He is already alone...
"Xia Anan...you are the only one I have..."
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