She put the bowls away in the cupboard, washed her hands, and wiped away the tear stains on her face to make herself look like usual.
Su Xun wanted to talk to her mother, and after making up her mind, she went to her mother's room.
The door was ajar, with a small crack, and she could see the person inside folding clothes, looking very serious.
Her mother had always been a meticulous person, even folding clothes with a serious demeanor. In fact, in her memory, her mother was very gentle with her and her younger brother, but she could be a bit unreasonable when it came to their studies.
She pushed the door open and went inside.
"Mom, I'm sorry," she apologized softly.
Su's mother, who was putting clothes into the wardrobe, heard the sound, turned her head and saw Su Xun, and gently waved.
"Come here, sit here."
Su Xun slowly approached and sat on the edge of the bed with his mother, heads bowed.
She should apologize.
"Actually, you don't need to apologize to me. I've been your age too."
Su Xun was somewhat surprised. Could it be that her mother had this before...?
"At fourteen or fifteen, it's the time when love begins to blossom. As you get older, you'll find that feelings at this age are purer." Su's mother's gaze was distant, as if she were looking at that spring day many years ago.
"Actually, when I was your age, I also had a boy I liked at school, but we weren't as open-minded back then. Girls were all shy and kept things to themselves. After graduation, everyone was working in different places, and it was difficult to even see each other. Moreover, communication wasn't as convenient as it is now, so some relationships ended just like that."
"I regretted it later. I was secretly thinking all sorts of things, but the other person had no idea. In the years I went out to work, I met a lot of men, but that feeling of my heart pounding when we looked at each other was long gone. I found that everyone had become more mundane."
Su Xun rarely saw her mother with such a nostalgic expression, a look that seemed both gentle and regretful, her eyes filled with a complex mix of emotions, and Su Xun knew they must contain a great deal of remorse.
This was the first time she had heard about her mother's past. She never imagined that her seemingly strict, rigid, and almost unreasonable mother would have such a story.
"I thought you and Dad were always together," she murmured softly.
Su's mother glanced at Su Xun and gently tucked a stray hair behind her daughter's ear.
Even though they were mother and daughter, she and her mother had never been particularly close over the years, and this extremely gentle gesture made her lower her head slightly uncomfortably.
“Your father and I met through a relative’s introduction. At that time, I was of marriageable age, and it was really not easy for a woman to work hard outside, so I went back to my hometown to get married.”
At this point, her expression darkened.
"Do you know that when a girl obeys everyone's arrangements and chooses to marry a man she has little affection for, she has already withered away. She has compromised with fate and will live a life where she can never see the end of her days."
Her tone was indifferent, but in truth, she had also struggled, but as time went on, she came to terms with it.
Su Xun had never known these things before, and this was the first time she had heard them. She was filled with shock.
"That's why I want you to study hard. Only when you have your own career in the future can you escape your mother's fate. You know, I hope that in the future you can do what you want to do, be with the person you like, not feel inferior because of your poverty and ignorance, and never succumb to fate."
Her mother's words were like a bomb, igniting in her mind. So that's why.
Her family always emphasized grades, grades, grades, especially her mother. She always felt that she was just a tool for her parents to fulfill their own regrets, and she felt extremely resentful about it.
I realized I had misunderstood her for so many years.
Tears streamed down her face without warning, soaking her entire face.
"I understand." Her voice was trembling with emotion, and she was somewhat muffled.
When Su's mother saw her daughter's tears, her heart tightened, and she took a tissue from the tissue box on the bedside table and gave it to her.
"That boy that day, his name was Pei Ke, right?" she changed the subject.
Speaking of Pei Ke, Su Xun became a little nervous; she wasn't actually ready to explain to her mother.
Before she could respond, Su's mother continued, "You like him a lot, don't you? Otherwise, how could you do something like this?"
Su Xun nodded silently in response.
“I don’t object to you two being together. I hope you don’t suppress yourself too much. If you regret it later because of me, you might hate me. You might even tell your future children, ‘Your grandma is always so fierce. She won’t let you do this or that. It’s so annoying.’”
The tone suddenly became light, instantly bringing the somber scene to life.
However, when it came to her own child, Su Xun felt a little embarrassed, as if these things were far removed from her own life, and as if she would never be a mother.
However, she still spoke up: "Pei Ke is very good. I feel very relaxed when I'm with him. He can always sense when I'm unhappy and will go along with my mood. But sometimes he's very mean. He always tries to make me angry, which is extremely annoying. Sometimes he's as proud as a peacock showing off everywhere, and other times he's like a lecturing old man..."
"But I still like him so much..."
When Su's mother watched her daughter describe the boy, she seemed to light up, surrounded by stars. Although her tone contained a lot of dissatisfaction and complaints, it was full of her daughter's thoughts.
This age is wonderful. She remembers that the boys in her class would always tease the girls they liked on purpose, to see their embarrassed and angry expressions.
Those were such innocent and beautiful times, but I was a coward, not as brave as my daughter.
After Su Xun finished speaking, he realized that he had said so many mushy things, and that he was actually saying them to his mother. It was unbelievable.
It must have been because the atmosphere was so good that I got so caught up in it that I blurted out so many things I hadn't had a chance to say to Pei Ke.
Feeling a little shy, a blush crept up her ears. She kept her head down, too ashamed to look up at her mother.
Seeing her daughter's shy appearance, Su's mother knew that she was always very thin-skinned, so she took the initiative to break the silence.
She straightened her tone and said, "I don't object to you, but you can't go too far. Studying hard and getting into a good high school is the most important thing."
It's as if I've returned to the image of a mother who only knows how to lecture.
However, Su Xun knew that many things had quietly changed during tonight's conversation.
Many new things have emerged between her and her mother, between her and Pei Ke, and between herself and her inner self.
She probably knows now how to face the youthful feelings she had for Pei Ke.
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