One afternoon in the first year of junior high, the fuse that ignited their relationship was when Pu Xiaochuan had a big fight with her because she was close to another boy. At the time, she didn't think much of it; she just felt that he was being unreasonable and trying to embarrass her in class. Later, he found Su Xun and helped him plan that scene on Yanshan Mountain.
That day, he deliberately separated the others, leaving the two of them alone. He apologized to her and confessed that he was angry because he didn't want to see her so close to other boys, which made her blush.
They weren't together at the time, but they both tacitly understood each other.
Later, he finally decided to pursue art. Every day was hard work, but he didn't seem tired at all. His eyes would light up whenever he talked about what he loved, which made her feel a strange and indescribable emotion.
Then she discovered that her best friend, Su Xun, was also working hard to get into the best high school, and even had less time to visit her. Only she remained idle, spending her days wandering around with friends.
She finally understood her inexplicable emotions. Everyone was striving towards their own goals, while she felt abandoned. As a result, she became even more disgusted with herself and let herself go.
She hates this, but she pretends to be indifferent and does whatever she wants.
Until one day, Pu Xiaochuan came to her and asked her to take responsibility for herself, but she became increasingly disgusted with the growing gap between them. In the end, she put on her usual indifferent attitude and called him hypocritical, and then the two of them had a complete falling out.
In the end, she still picked up the textbook and carefully looked at each question. She didn't want to be looked down upon, especially by him.
Later, Pu Xiaochuan went to No. 1 High School, a key high school that values art students. It was not as difficult to get into as No. 3 High School. After studying hard for a year, she barely passed the admission score of No. 1 High School that year.
"Later, we naturally got together and went to the same city for university." She narrated slowly, her tone full of sweetness.
Su Xun was stunned. She had no idea that so much had happened between the two of them without her knowledge.
And I never told her!
"I was shocked, really."
Suddenly, she had an idea for the novel she had been struggling to write; she had never tried this kind of theme before, which was about taking the college entrance exam for love.
"Same here. I was shocked too when you told me about confessing to Pei Ke back then." She glanced at the person next to her. "You really didn't contact him again afterward?"
She shook her head. "No, at first I didn't dare contact anyone, afraid of implicating you. Later... I didn't dare contact him."
She changed all her contact information and naturally lost contact with those people from before. When her longing became unbearable, she would even sneak into his school to see the buildings and plants he looked at every day, but she dared not go to see him.
What if you see him and he is full of resentment and hatred towards you, or he no longer cares about you?
In either case, she lacked the courage to face it.
"Actually, when you disappeared, he was the most anxious person. When he found out you left without saying goodbye, he must have been scared, his lips turned white with worry. He waited downstairs at your house every day and called you frantically, but he never got a response. That summer, he searched everywhere you might have gone, your usual bubble tea shops, bookstores, shopping malls..."
"I watched the light in his eyes dim little by little."
"Actually, after all this time, you should have contacted him at least once, even just once. He wouldn't have become like this now, so cold and aloof, always keeping people at arm's length."
"I'm so sorry for being so mean to him." All the words of apology stuck in her throat. Suddenly, her nose felt sore and dry. She couldn't say anything. No words could express her feelings at that moment. She could only let the endless tears flow down her cheeks and into her hair.
She knew that her sudden disappearance and breaking their promise would hurt him, but she did it anyway.
Because of her guilt and fear, she delayed going to see him, which made him feel uneasy for so long.
She's such a bad person.
"You repeated a year to get into S University, and that was partly his fault, wasn't it?" Tang Shi said after a long pause. "He's at S University, so this time, treat him well."
She was just an outsider, but witnessing such a spirited young man become so dejected made her feel a little sorry for him.
"I understand," she sobbed, letting out the sound from her throat.
So this time, let her go find him.
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