I don't believe it, I don't acknowledge it.
Chapter 45, Disbelief, Disagreement
In the story Xie Kun told me, there was an uncle who was a complete stranger to me.
That uncle was ruthless, sycophantic, cunning, vicious, and treacherous—specifically referring to "us" the Xie family.
I want to tell this rambling man that we are not "we," I don't know him, and my surname is not "Xie." My name is Zhao Xi.
However, his words came like a sudden storm, so swift that I had nowhere to hide. Every word he uttered was like a hail of arrows raining down from a city wall, and I, unfortunately, became the center of that hail, powerless to defend myself.
In his story, my mother was merely a pawn carefully placed on the chopping block by my uncle to lull Xie Lian—the legendary biological father and the patriarch of the Xie clan at the time. After the downfall of the Xie clan, my uncle, relying on the emperor's favor, protected his sister and her unborn child.
They even went so far as to shamelessly change the Xie family's bloodline to the Zhao surname.
He became more and more impassioned as he spoke, his voice filled with righteous indignation, and even the occasional coughs and wheezes couldn't extinguish his raging anger. This anger almost drove me to the brink of collapse; if I hadn't exerted all my strength, I'm afraid I would have already lost my footing and been forced to retreat step by step.
Fortunately, Lan Feiyu was already sitting a little behind me, her shoulder gently resting against mine. Though she didn't say a word, she was like a silent pillar, supporting me as I listened to this absurd story.
I glanced at her gratefully, then turned to look at Yuanzi. She remained expressionless, observing coldly, as if none of this concerned her, even though she was the one truly in charge.
Unable to read her mind, I could only turn my gaze to Xie Kun's tightly clenched fist—from the moment he opened his mouth, that fist had never loosened, its knuckles protruding, as if it wanted to crush his full of hatred.
I took a deep breath, suppressing the surging emotions in my chest, and stared directly at those fists, trying my best to keep my voice from trembling from my wildly beating heart: "I don't believe it! I don't believe a single word you've said! I'm not some Xie family daughter!"
Xie Kun seemed to have anticipated my reaction, and simply smiled faintly, his voice as ethereal as drifting clouds: "Xi'er, whether you believe it or not, these are undeniable facts. The Xie family blood flows in your veins; you are my dearest sister. Even if your mother and uncle were here, they wouldn't dare confront me face-to-face. Xi'er..."
"I don't believe it!" I interrupted him abruptly, my anger surging, my hands clenching into fists involuntarily. I couldn't take it anymore. I reached out and ripped off the elaborate headdresses, adorned with flowers and jewels, and threw them to the ground. The itching on my scalp and the pent-up frustration in my heart made me feel like I was about to explode. Before anyone could react, I turned and grabbed Lan Feiyu, urgently saying, "Yu'er, let's go! Let's go now!"
Lan Feiyu was startled by my tug, but she quickly recovered and followed my lead. I rushed towards the door without looking back, but Xie Kun's voice followed me closely, deep and hoarse: "Xi'er, you can't escape your own bloodline."
My steps faltered, my heart tightened, but I quickly gritted my teeth and quickened my pace. Lan Feiyu held my hand tightly, her eyes shining, her lips moving slightly as she softly called out "Xi'er." Her voice, though soft, was like a clear spring, extinguishing the raging flames in my heart. My nose stung, and I forced back my tears, pulling her away from the hall.
Night was falling outside, and the village lights were sparse. I stopped, panting heavily, my chest still heaving with anger and confusion. Lan Feiyu stood beside me, gently patting my back, and softly asked, "Xi'er, are you alright?"
I shook my head, unable to speak. Xie Kun's words were like a dull knife, repeatedly cutting into my heart. I didn't want to believe it, but the certainty in his tone made me vaguely uneasy. Was I really of Xie's blood? Was my uncle really as despicable as he said? And what about my mother...?
"Xi'er, don't think too much." Lan Feiyu interrupted my thoughts and held my cold hand. "No matter what he says, you are still you, Zhao Xi, my sworn sister."
Her forehead touched mine, and her eyes looked straight into my heart. My eyes welled up with tears, and I forced a smile: "Yes, I am Zhao Xi, not someone else."
Lan Feiyu smiled at me and was about to speak when a series of footsteps made us turn around. Yuanzi and a few others followed us.
My body tensed up instantly. Even now, I still don't know who Yuanzi is, how she found Xie Kun, or how she discovered me. Her coldness and domineering nature made me uneasy, and I always felt that she was hiding a bigger scheme behind her.
Iris walked up to me and looked at me coldly: "Zhao Xi, I thought you were a smart girl."
I bit my lower lip and glared back defiantly: "I'm smart, that's why I don't want to be your pawn. You... what do you want by bringing Xie Kun here? What are you all planning to do? I know nothing about the Xie family treasure, you can kill me and I still won't know."
Even if I knew, I wouldn't tell you—of course, I only thought this to myself, after all, I'm not a stupid girl.
She frowned, her eyes still sharp, but something seemed to flash within them.
Before I could even figure it out, I heard a sharp "squeak." The monkey "squeaked" out from who-knows-where and suddenly jumped onto me. Its limbs were outstretched, clinging tightly to me, while it turned to look at the kite. Its posture was clearly one of protecting me!
"Squeak! You are the best monkey in the world!" I was deeply moved and couldn't help but open my arms and hug the monkey.
I embraced "Zhizha" tightly in front of everyone. Thinking back, of all the people and animals I had met since entering Bozhou, it seemed that only "Zhizha" had never harbored any ill will towards me and had repeatedly saved me from danger. I stroked "Zhizha's" smooth fur, feeling a surge of emotions.
Unfortunately, my pleasant conversation with "Chirp" was interrupted by Kite. She pulled the monkey away and said to her subordinate dressed as a hunter behind her, "Send her back—Lan Feiyu, you are in charge of watching her. We will set off first thing tomorrow morning." After saying that, she ignored me and turned to leave.
Lan Feiyu gripped my hand even tighter, but looked away, avoiding my gaze. I sighed inwardly and silently squeezed her hand back.
I was locked back inside the house, but this time Lan Feiyu was with me.
She sat by the window, and I leaned against the bed. Zhizha had been taken away by Yuanzi, leaving me feeling empty and a little sad. I looked up at Lan Feiyu; her complexion wasn't good, and her beautiful eyes were filled with worry, as if veiled by a mist. My heart clenched, and I couldn't help but say, "Yu'er, don't worry, I won't blame you."
Lan Feiyu turned her face, revealing a hint of surprise.
“…I understand that you want to use the strength of the kite and the others to take back Bozhou,” I said softly, ignoring the tightness in my chest. “I also understand that you want to avenge your father and brothers…I understand that you are alone and powerless, so I will not blame you.”
“Xi’er…” Lan Feiyu tried to smile at me.
“But you understand me, don’t you?” I lowered my head. Although she was smiling, her smile was clearly filled with sadness. But I still had to say, “I will not betray Dongchu, not for anyone.”
Suddenly, someone gently touched my shoulder. I looked up and saw Lan Feiyu walking over. She carefully sat down next to me, placed her hand on mine, and said softly, "Yes, Xi'er, I understand. Didn't we already agree that if that day really comes, we would put righteousness above family ties?"
Seeing that I remained silent, she reached out again, her fingertips lightly touching my face, carrying a slight warmth. She smiled gently, her eyes curving into crescents: "Silly Xi'er, don't cry. You are a dignified princess of Dongchu, how can you shed tears so easily?"
My throat tightened, and I still couldn't utter a word. Lan Feiyu leaned closer, this time her face pressed against mine, her warm breath brushing against my cheek. I slowly turned my face, my nose inadvertently brushing against the tip of her hair, a faint fragrance wafting into my heart—the scent was like newly blooming flowers in the morning mist of the mountains, mixed with the crispness of grass and trees, and mingled with her unique softness, like a cotton coat warmed by the spring sun, making one feel at ease. I closed my eyes, greedily inhaling, and whispered, "Even if it means sacrificing family for the greater good, we have to be family first... Yu'er, will you marry me?"
Lan Feiyu laughed, her voice light and cheerful, as if she had cast aside all her sorrow: "Why shouldn't you marry me? If I gain control of Bozhou in the future, I will be the king of Bozhou. Don't you Han people always value the idea of princesses marrying into other families for political purposes? I'll ask the emperor of Eastern Chu for your hand in marriage, what do you say?"
Her breath brushed against my neck as she spoke, warm and slightly ticklish. I couldn't help but chuckle, but secretly I wondered: since Lan Feiyu planned not to be an enemy of Dong Chu after becoming the ruler of Bozhou, why couldn't she use Dong Chu's power? But then I thought again, Dong Chu is now the suzerain state of Bozhou, so Yu'er is naturally wary of it. In addition, Dong Chu's attitude towards Bozhou and Baili is neither impartial nor ambiguous, making it really hard to figure out.
Alas, if I could fly back to Eastern Chu now, I would risk my life to beg for an audience with the Emperor and ask him what his true intentions were—or at the very least, for my uncle's sake, surely the Emperor wouldn't just throw me to the Eastern Market to be beheaded...
Perhaps noticing my furrowed brows, Lan Feiyu gently pressed her lips to my face, her earnest gaze making my heart skip a beat: "Xi'er, I will never hurt you again, nor will I let anyone else hurt you."
I unconsciously clenched my fists, and my voice rose a little: "Yu'er, you're the fool! I'm not that weak, that I'm not someone who can be bullied. I... I don't believe that Xie Kun. Even if what he said is true, I will never believe it! Do you understand?"
I shook my head, leaned on her shoulder, and sighed softly.
Deep down, I already believed part of the story, especially regarding my origins. My mother, my aunt, and my uncle always kept it a secret. The truth was, I, a girl surnamed Zhao, was actually the offspring of the notorious traitor Xie Lian.
Thinking about this, I felt a tightness in my chest and couldn't breathe.
Lan Feiyu cupped my face in her hands, gently pinched it, and said softly, "I understand."
Well, when she smiled, the tightness in her chest and shortness of breath vanished without a trace, like ice and snow meeting the warm sun.
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