In the forest
Chapter Fifteen
But the cold had one advantage: it completely dispelled my previous drowsiness and gave me strength.
I plunged into the water, held my breath, and swam desperately towards the other side.
The river wasn't very wide, but there was still a gap of about ten or twenty feet between the two banks. I was glad that Aunt Xian insisted on making me a good swimmer from a young age, otherwise I don't know how I would have survived this ordeal today.
I didn't surface until I couldn't hold my breath any longer, but I didn't dare to look back. I struggled to paddle, afraid that if I slowed down even a little, Lan Feiyu and her henchmen would catch up with me.
When I finally reached the shore, I was able to look back. Lan Feiyu was nowhere to be seen on the other side, and the two riders had also disappeared. Only the guards, who had been drugged, were still lying there in disarray.
I breathed a sigh of relief and dragged my clothes, which were soaked and weighed more than a pound heavier, forward.
The sun is still high in the sky, so it's not hard to determine the direction. This place is northwest of the city gate. Just follow that direction and you'll be able to get back.
What troubles me is, where can I go now?
Going into the city would be like walking into a trap.
Besides, my older brother was invited hunting by those two princes, and it seems he won't be returning to the palace that day. I suddenly felt more helpless than ever before. To make matters worse, the river water made the wound on my arm, which I had just cut open yesterday, throb with pain, as if mocking my naivety.
Lan Feiyu said, "Who told you to be so naive?"
Come to think of it, I thought I hit it off with her at first sight, but she was just flattering me. I was just too stupid to see through it.
I have an inexplicable longing for a soulmate, a friend with whom I can share life and death. I hope to find a true confidant with whom I can talk about rainy nights and drink together on snowy days, but...
I bit my lower lip. Let's stop here and think about how to get out of this mess.
If we didn't head towards Bozhou City, the other side didn't seem to be a good choice either. There was a dense forest there. Although I didn't know about the warning in the martial arts world that "never enter a forest," when I reached the edge of the forest, the trees that blocked out the sky and exuded a gloomy and cold atmosphere still made me hesitate for a long time.
After much consideration, even though Lan Feiyu is nowhere to be seen, she watched me jump into the river. Since she wanted to subdue me, she couldn't just let me go without doing anything.
Although this forest looks terrifying, isn't it also a good place to hide?
I made up my mind to find a place in the woods and stay there for an hour or two.
In my judgment, Lan Feiyu went to all this trouble to lure me out while the princes were all away. She must have been doing this secretly. She couldn't use the troops of Bozhou to search for me openly unless she could cover up my disappearance in front of the two princes and her older brother. No, even that wouldn't work, because I would definitely tell the truth.
But if even she disappears, the guards who have been drugged will certainly not dare to delay and will immediately rush to report it.
I racked my brains, but I just couldn't figure out how Lan Feiyu would fabricate a story to avoid being exposed after doing this.
She wanted to fight against the two powerful princes in Bozhou and Dongchu all by herself. For some reason, just thinking about this made me unable to hate her. Instead, I felt a strange mix of emotions.
This person is overestimating himself, isn't he?
However, as I wandered through the woods, the sun was fragmented by the dense foliage, reducing its heat. A cold wind would occasionally gust from the forest, making me, still soaking wet, sneeze repeatedly. At that moment, my hatred for Lan Feiyu was fueled and surged to a great height.
Having been dragged into this situation for no reason, just to see elephants, I'm now so overwhelmed that I can't even cry.
Remembering what my older brother said last night—that the rumors about me couldn't have been fabricated out of thin air, and that someone was definitely manipulating things in the dark—I felt a chill run down my spine.
I asked the older brother what the reason was for the person behind this to do so, but he didn't answer me directly. He said vaguely, "People set up this for their own benefit, but it's hard to say right now."
It's hard to say anything! It's precisely because things were said so vaguely that I didn't have the slightest suspicion of Lan Feiyu and was forced to flee to this desolate forest where I could only cry out to heaven and earth in vain.
I was afraid of getting lost if I went too deep into the forest, and I was also afraid that Lan Feiyu would find me if I lingered at the edge of the forest. I carefully memorized the path and cautiously walked into the forest. After walking for about the time it takes to eat a meal, I figured I should be safe. There happened to be a big tree nearby. I took off my shoes and socks and tucked them into my belt. I climbed up barefoot in no time. I am grateful to Aunt Xian for her persistence and guidance.
I found a thick trunk in the tree where I could half-lie down, leaned against it, and let out a long sigh.
Thinking that there were few people in this forest, and that no one would crane their necks to look up at the trees, I boldly took off my inner clothes and outer trousers, leaving only my undergarments. I was secretly glad that Lan Feiyu had found me a hunting outfit. If I were still wearing a skirt, wouldn't I be in deep trouble?
Although the sunlight was fragmented, it was not yet sunset. A ray of sunlight fell on my exposed skin where I was lying, warm and comforting, like the continuous and gentle caress of my mother when I was a child crying incessantly at night.
Firstly, I was exhausted both physically and mentally after escaping from a perilous situation. Secondly, the effects of that "black heart" were still lingering, and it came out to cause trouble again now that I felt safe. I hugged the tree trunk with both hands, rested my head on the back of my hands, and unknowingly fell asleep.
I don't know how much time passed before I was woken up by the cold.
As soon as I opened my eyes, I sneezed three times, almost making me fall off the tree.
Suddenly snapping back to reality, I blurted out, "Oh no!"
It was pitch black all around. I remembered that it was only the third day of the Lunar New Year. Looking up at the sky, the dim moonlight struggled to break through the thicket of branches and leaves. By the time it reached the mortal world, it was just a remnant of a defeated army, no match for the light of fireflies.
Fear overwhelmed me after I realized the situation. Even though my undergarments had been almost dry in the wind, my cold sweat soaked them again.
I quickly closed my eyes, took deep breaths, and remembered what my uncle had told me: "The way of a general is to remain calm even if Mount Tai collapses before you." It was just dark, and there was no imminent danger. I must not lose my composure.
This trick was quite effective. Before long, my panicked heartbeat calmed down, I reopened my eyes, slowly moved to a better position while holding onto the tree trunk, and put my clothes back on one by one.
Hunger struck fiercely after the cold had subsided slightly. Faced with the sudden and loud rumbling of my stomach, I couldn't deceive myself, no matter how hard I tried.
I endured it all, but finally I couldn't bear it any longer. With no other choice, I slid down from the tree and, by the faint moonlight that seemed to be about to leave me at any moment, carefully examined the plants growing on the ground to see if there were any offerings to satisfy my hunger.
People today do not see the moon of old, yet the moon of today once shone on people of old.
After searching for a while to no avail, I couldn't help but think sadly that perhaps after tonight, I too would become some kind of "ancient person," quietly resting in this desolate deep forest, waiting for a hundred years later, on a moonlit night, for a "modern person" as reckless and naive as I am to wander into the forest and find my long-deceased, white bones.
The moment that feeling of desolation welled up in my heart, I slammed a fist into the head and suppressed it.
I'm only sixteen years old. I just wanted to see elephants. Why should I die? Even if I die, it shouldn't be so quiet and unknown!
My mother still doesn't know my true whereabouts. If I die like this, my uncle, Aunt Xian, and my older brother and sister will feel terribly guilty. I can't let them—and my father—be hurt...
I shivered again from the cold. Only then did I realize that I had been pretending to be stupid in front of my mother all along, just so that I wouldn't be able to bear to hurt her.
However, I long to know who my father is, even though I have never met him. I miss him. In my dreams, which I have never told anyone, my biological father is a great hero, a dignified man. He is the great man described by Mencius who is not corrupted by wealth, not swayed by poverty, and not intimidated by power!
I once asked Aunt Xian if I resembled my father in any way, and all she did was shake her head and sigh.
Wiping away the tears that had involuntarily streamed down my face, I made up my mind: if I could escape unscathed tonight, I would do everything in my power to find my father. At the very least, I needed to know who he was and why he abandoned me.
Courage surged through my body, and I gritted my teeth and continued walking, making sure to find a tree along the way every so often, painstakingly peeling off bark of various shapes from its trunk, and marking it with a sharp-edged stone.
My legs ached from walking all this way, and I don't know how long I walked, but then I heard the sound of flowing water ahead. My spirits lifted, and I ran forward. Sure enough, after running for less than half a cup of tea's time, a stream suddenly appeared in front of me!
I cheered and rushed even faster. When I reached the stream, I cupped my hands together like a bowl, scooped up a handful of water, and drank my fill. After feeling thoroughly refreshed, I had just stood up when I realized something was wrong.
It seems... something is watching me.
I immediately bent down, widened my eyes and looked around. Without much effort, I spotted the pair of eyes intently scrutinizing me from behind a tree by the stream!
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