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Chapter Sixty-Eight, Ugliness
When Lan Feiyu's words reached my ears, I was filled with both surprise and joy. I was joyful because we had finally survived the deadly situation and were saved; I was surprised because, although my older brother had sent guards to protect me in secret, they had arrived at this critical moment with perfect timing—it was just too perfect.
The thought had barely crossed my mind when I suddenly remembered something and cried out, "Mr. Tao! That's right! How is Mr. Tao?" Before I could finish speaking, I forgot all the pain in my body and instinctively tried to sit up. But as soon as I exerted myself, excruciating pain surged through my limbs, like countless needles pricking me. I was instantly covered in cold sweat and couldn't help but let out a muffled groan before falling heavily back onto the pillow.
"You, you're still so reckless!" Lan Feiyu quickly reached out and pressed my hand down, her fingertips carrying a slightly cool warmth, her eyes full of both heartache and reproach. "Don't worry, Mr. Tao is fine. The doctor said it's just some internal organ damage, he'll recover with proper rest."
But I can't forget the way Mr. Tao looked when he fell to the ground, blood trickling from the corner of his mouth, his eyes blurred with tears from the pain. I still couldn't help but ask, "Really? He looked like... looked like he was about to collapse."
“Really.” Lan Feiyu sighed softly, tightening her grip on my hand. Her tone was half bitter and half relieved. “Actually, Mr. Tao had been secretly communicating with the people your brother sent the whole way, but he didn’t let us know. He kept it from us probably because he was afraid that if we found out, we would harbor resentment and lose our composure.”
Hearing her say that, I breathed a sigh of relief. Actually, I had already guessed it before. Mr. Tao seemed cold and distant, but in fact he was very considerate. I tried to move my uninjured left hand and gently placed it on the back of Lan Feiyu's hand that was holding mine. Palm to palm, warmth spread between our fingers. I said thoughtfully, "It seems that Mr. Tao might become a member of our Zhao family in the future."
My elder brother has always valued talent. Mr. Tao is resourceful and courageous, and he is very knowledgeable about the situation in Bozhou. If he can stay in Dongchu in the future, whether it is to help my elder brother stabilize the southwest or to help Lan Feiyu govern Bozhou, he will be a great help to us.
However, as soon as I said it, I suddenly realized that there seemed to be another meaning behind my words, and I couldn't help but look at Lan Feiyu.
Lan Feiyu indeed "understood". She was stunned for a moment, then couldn't help but laugh out loud. Most of the worry in her eyes disappeared. She gently scratched my palm with her fingertips, with a hint of mischief: "What do you mean, people from your Zhao family? I think you'll become a member of our Lan family sooner or later."
My cheeks flushed instantly, and my breathing became erratic. Sunlight streamed in through the window, falling on her smiling eyes and brows, as warm as the first breeze of spring. Looking into the light in her eyes, I couldn't help but smile back, and my stiff, aching body seemed to lighten a little.
Just then, there was a knock on the door, followed by the older brother's voice: "Xiao Xi is awake? Miss Lan, may I come in?"
"Please come in." Lan Feiyu spoke first, her voice still carrying a lingering smile. She gently released my hand, got up and walked towards the door. As she passed the bed, she turned back to remind me, "Don't move around again. If your brother sees you like this, still wanting to cause trouble, he'll start nagging you again."
The door opened, and my older brother appeared in the doorway. He had changed into a moon-white casual robe, his dark hair loosely tied back with a single jade hairpin. His handsome features couldn't hide his weariness, and the faint dark circles under his eyes betrayed his days of toil. But his expression... well, his lips were pressed into a straight line, and his eyes were heavy as if shrouded in mist, inexplicably exuding a "gloomy" aura that made my heart tighten.
I quickly gave him an awkward smile, frantically pulled the blanket up to cover my chin and chest—if possible, I even wanted to shrink completely under the blanket and become a spineless big turtle.
The older brother's brows furrowed and relaxed rapidly, but only for a moment before slowly relaxing again, finally turning into a deep sigh.
Lan Feiyu, observing my timid demeanor and then my older brother's somber expression, finally mustered her courage and whispered to smooth things over: "Your Highness, Xi'er... needs to rest now. It's not good, not good to overexert her..."
“I know, Miss Lan, don’t worry, I won’t blame her—” the older brother said, while giving me a glare, and I shrank back again.
“Xi’er hasn’t eaten properly these past few days while she was unconscious, so she must be hungry. I’ll go to the kitchen and see if the bird’s nest porridge is ready.” Lan Feiyu coughed lightly, glanced at me with a smile in her eyes, and without waiting for my response, turned and left with light steps, obviously deliberately leaving some space for my brother and me to talk.
Only my older brother and I were left in the room, and the atmosphere became somewhat quiet. Before he could speak, I asked him, "Big brother, how is Mr. Tao? Is he really alright? Yu'er said several days, so how long was I unconscious?"
The older brother moved a chair over and sat down beside my bed. His complexion had improved slightly. He let out a soft sigh and answered my questions one by one: "Mr. Tao's condition is worse than yours, but at least his life is no longer in danger. You've been unconscious... It's been four days now. We carried you down the mountain and back to the Shu King's Palace. You've been surviving on ginseng soup these past few days. Are you hungry? Xiao Xi, if you go through this a few more times, even if you survive, you'll be nothing but skin and bones."
I deliberately widened my eyes and made a horrified expression: "Really? Then, is it very ugly?"
"It's ugly." A smile finally appeared in the older brother's eyes.
"That's terrible, then even less likely anyone will want me." I pouted and deliberately let out a long sigh. "Mother should give up—I'm destined to never get married!"
The older brother tapped my forehead with his index finger, the touch as light as a feather, presumably out of consideration for my injuries.
But what he said next almost made my soul fly away: "Aunt Chang Le and Aunt Xian are already on their way. I originally wanted them to rest at the post station first, but you know your mother's temper... she definitely wants to come see you as soon as possible."
I gasped, pulled the blanket up a little higher, and asked cautiously, "If Mom sees me like this, she'll be both angry and heartbroken. What should I do?"
The older brother fell silent for a moment before speaking, his voice growing deeper: "Xiao Xi, only your aunt can answer your questions about your origins." I detected a hint of sadness in his voice. "You and your mother need to have an open and honest conversation sometime. Since you know your recklessness will hurt her, next time before you act impulsively, think more about her—think about how you still have someone who cares about you."
I opened my mouth, and suddenly felt a pang in my heart.
Yes, I still have my mother to care for me, but my older brother, my older sister in the palace, and my brother the Crown Prince—their mothers are no longer by their side.
My older brother told me that Yuanzi, Xie Kun, and others, along with Mr. Tao's despicable master, had escaped once again.
The man in the black robe brought more than one "medicine man." The one I dealt with seemed to be the strongest, but two more appeared later. Neither was the original one in terms of size or invulnerability. Even so, they still caused the Eastern Chu reinforcements considerable trouble.
At first, I listened with great interest, but my fatigue quickly accumulated, and before I knew it, my eyelids became heavy.
Lan Feiyu took over the older brother's position and coaxed and persuaded me to finish half a bowl of soup porridge. The warm porridge slid down my throat and the warmth spread to my heart. I could no longer hold on. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I fell into a deep sleep in the blink of an eye.
This sleep seemed to last a very, very long time. There were no ferocious "medicine men" rushing at me, no ear-piercing clash of swords, and no sinister sneer from the man in the black robe. Only an endless warmth enveloped me, and even my dreams were soft and filled with peace.
In a daze, I first heard a very soft sob, intermittent, like raindrops dripping from the eaves onto the bluestone slab, carrying an indescribable grievance and heartache. Immediately afterwards, I felt a hand cover my forehead, gently brushing away the sweaty stray hairs on my forehead, and sweeping away the dampness clinging to my skin as well.
A very faint fragrance lingered at the tip of my nose; it was the jade hairpin flower incense that my mother used year after year, mixed with her unique scent...
My eyelids trembled, and I struggled to open them a crack.
In the dim light, the first thing that caught my eye was the hem of a plain-colored dress, and then, above that, my mother's profile. Her hair was a little disheveled, her eyes were red like cherries soaked in water, and tears were streaming down her cheeks, landing on the back of my hand, carrying a slightly cool temperature.
“Mother…” My throat was so dry it hurt, and my voice was as soft as a mosquito’s hum, but my mother heard me immediately. She suddenly raised her head, and her eyes, which always held tenderness, were filled with surprise and joy, but even more so with heartache. Her voice trembled: “Xi’er… my Xi’er… you’re finally awake. You scared your mother to death.”
Tears streamed down my face like beads from a broken string, gushing forth without warning and blurring my vision instantly, even obscuring my mother's face so close to mine. Only her hand on my cheek, cool and gentle, her fingertips lightly stroking the tear stains at the corner of my eye, that real touch spread from my skin to the depths of my heart, letting me know clearly that this was not a dream, that my mother was truly beside me.
“Silly child, don’t cry…don’t cry…the doctor said you can’t cry now, sweetie, come on, inhale…don’t cry…” My mother’s voice was soft yet carried an undeniable seriousness. My uncontrollable sobs made my chest tighten, and my temples throbbed. I obediently followed my mother’s instructions, slowly closing my eyes, taking a deep breath, and then slowly exhaling. After repeating this several times, the surging emotions gradually subsided, and the tears finally stopped.
"Mom, I'm sorry..." My voice was barely audible, unable to hide my guilt.
Seeing that I had calmed down, my mother gently brushed the stray hairs from my forehead with her fingertips, her voice full of tenderness: "Silly child... I heard everything from your older brother, you... Sigh, it's your mother who's sorry..."
Hearing my mother's words, my heart pounded wildly.
Is my... my biological father really that traitor Xie Lian?
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