Unable to bear
Chapter 53, Unbearable
Amid my older brother's roaring, I tried to smile, even though it must have looked terrible.
And I held my head high and stood tall, thinking I had the backbone to "turn the other cheek"—of course, my older brother wouldn't despise me; his gaze was enough to scare me to tears. The only reason I was still standing was thanks to Lan Feiyu.
After all, I can't embarrass myself in front of her, can I?
Thank goodness, my older brother finally let out a long sigh and released his grip on my shoulder blade, which had almost crushed it. The anger in his eyes finally subsided, replaced by a heavy, complex expression that seemed to be a mixture of helplessness and heartache: "What happened to you outside? Are you hurt? Look at you, all covered in dirt, looking like you just crawled out of the stove..."
My nose naturally stung with tears. If it weren't for Lan Feiyu, I probably would have grabbed my older brother and cried my heart out.
Even though he is the King of Xinan who is on the emperor's behalf, he is still my older brother who has protected me since I was a child. The title of "King of Xinan" is not as weighty as the three words "older brother"!
"Don't say anything more, go and rest for a while, let the doctor take a look at you..." the older brother said, his gaze finally turning to Lan Feiyu, who had been standing quietly to the side. His gentle smile remained unchanged, even more so, but I could clearly see a subtle scrutiny hidden beneath it: "Miss Lan, you must be tired from your journey. Why don't you come with Xiaoxi to the palace to settle down and rest? What do you think?"
Lan Feiyu pursed her lips and nodded, her voice weak and stiff: "Okay, thank you, Your Highness."
The older brother took half a step back, and immediately a guard stepped forward and respectfully gestured for Lan Feiyu and me to enter.
Then, the elder brother turned to Mr. Tao, who had been standing quietly to the side with a calm expression, and his eyes became more serious: "Mr. Tao, would you like to rest first? Or would you like to come with me to the mansion? I still have some things to write down and would like to ask you some questions."
Mr. Tao remained expressionless, looked at Lan Feiyu, and only after Lan Feiyu nodded slightly did he speak, "Please, Your Highness."
The older brother said no more, only nodded to us, and then led Mr. Tao and several attendants, turning and walking towards the other side of the mansion, his steps steady yet hurried. Before leaving, he instructed the guard who was leading the way: "Take good care of them. Later, prepare a feast to calm their nerves and welcome them over."
The guard respectfully replied "Yes," and then continued to lead the way, guiding us through several courtyards.
I learned from the guard that this place was once the royal palace of the Former Shu Kingdom. Although half of it has been converted into a temporary palace and the other half into a residence for official business, its former grandeur remains. The flying eaves and bracket sets, the carved beams and painted rafters, though weathered by time and war, still retain their solemnity. The air is filled with the unique moisture of Shu, mixed with the scent of earth and grass; a deep breath is crisp and refreshing. Deep courtyards abound with dense bamboo groves and common southern flowers and trees. Large, spreading banana leaves and the clear chirping of birds from afar add a touch of life to this solemn place.
Lan Feiyu's expression was still not relaxed, but it was much better than before. She looked around like me, and I nudged her with my elbow: "This place is more beautiful than your royal palace in Bozhou."
“There won’t be any royal palace in Bozhou anymore…” Lan Feiyu smiled wistfully and lowered her eyes.
I knew I had said the wrong thing and wanted to slap myself a few times. But Lan Feiyu, probably noticing my eyebrows suddenly drooping, couldn't help but smile and gently poked my forehead with her finger: "Alright, alright, don't look so embarrassed. People will think someone bullied you."
“Yu’er,” I called softly. She looked at me, blinked, and a tiny tear welled up in her eyes. I lowered my voice to the softest and gentlest tone and said, “Whatever decision you make, I will be with you.”
She lowered her voice, raised an eyebrow, and chuckled, "Isn't that a bit too much like turning against one's own family?"
“We can give this opportunity to our older brother,” I said firmly, but then I felt it wasn’t quite right. In such a big matter, honesty should prevail. “But I will not betray Dong Chu, not even for your sake.”
"But you're willing to die with me?"
I nodded.
"To the execution ground?"
I continued nodding.
Lan Feiyu sighed and laughed softly: "Silly Xi'er, you can't do this. Look at the expression on King Xinan's face just now. He's your brother, and he really cares about you... I haven't met your mother yet, nor your uncle, who's the subject of all sorts of rumors, but I know they all cherish you like a treasure, what you Han people call a 'pearl in the palm of your hand'—if you die, and die with a barbarian woman like me, how heartbroken they will be... I have no family left, Xi'er. My father, mother, and brother are all gone, so I... I can die anytime, it doesn't matter, but you can't, you understand, Xi'er? If you don't listen to me, even if I cross the Bridge of Helplessness, I'll go find someone else, not you."
I opened my mouth, looking at her delicate and beautiful face, the teardrops still clinging to her long eyelashes, and for a moment my throat was choked up. After a long while, I shook my head: "You can't bear to leave me alone in the mortal world to be sad, you can't bear it."
This time, Lan Feiyu didn't say anything, but silently pressed her body closer to mine.
After a while, the guards led us to a secluded courtyard within the palace. The courtyard was elegantly and quietly furnished, showing that careful attention had been paid to its arrangement. "Please rest here, ladies. If you need anything, please feel free to ask." With that, they bowed respectfully to us and turned to leave.
Lan Feiyu and I silently leaned on each other as we entered the courtyard called "Huanhua Xiaozhu". The courtyard was indeed quiet and elegant, with several green bamboos by the window and a crabapple tree in bud. The maids had already prepared hot water and fragrant bath, as well as several sets of soft and clean clothes for us to change into.
Just as we were looking around at the room's furnishings, there was a soft knock on the door. The guard who had led the way earlier returned, followed by a kind-looking middle-aged doctor carrying a medicine chest, and two maids carrying trays.
"His Highness has ordered that a doctor be summoned to examine the young ladies for any injuries," the guard reported respectfully.
My heart warmed. My older brother was the most thoughtful person I knew, no wonder my uncle trusted him so much.
"Thank you for your trouble." I nodded and sat down on the embroidered stool that the maid had brought over.
The doctor stepped forward, carefully took my pulse, and examined the bruises and abrasions on my body that had not yet completely faded. Finally, he said gently, "Miss Zhao is fine. She was just frightened earlier and traveled a long way, so her qi and blood are a little deficient. These superficial wounds will be fine after applying some ointment. The most important thing is to rest and relax, and not to think about anything else."
He wrote out a prescription, instructed the maid to prepare the medicine, left two small bottles of wound medicine, gave instructions on how to use them, and then took his leave.
After seeing off the doctor and his guards, only Lan Feiyu and I, along with a few maids standing respectfully at their sides, remained in the room. I asked them to leave first, then took Lan Feiyu's hand and softly asked, "Yu'er, what exactly happened with those... 'medicine people'? Can we really relax now? What about Mr. Tao...?"
Mentioning this, Lan Feiyu's face became serious again. She let out a long breath and forced a smile: "We are definitely out of danger now. Mr. Tao's prescription is still very effective. It's also fortunate that that incident happened, otherwise we wouldn't have been able to escape."
“Then…” I only said one word, but Lan Feiyu seemed to already know what I was going to say. She shook her head sadly and sighed, “No, Xi’er. There’s no way to save someone who has already started to change. Mr. Tao said that he has studied some ancient books and intercepted fragments of secret formulas, and found that this evil art seems to stimulate a kind of latent madness in the human body and control and promote it with drugs, making them incredibly strong and fearless, but at the same time they will gradually lose their minds and eventually become monsters who only know how to kill.”
I felt a chill run down my spine as I listened, and I recalled the fierce battle by the hot spring. Just as I was about to say something more, several maids returned. This time, they invited us to bathe and change our clothes. Of course, I didn't refuse. Wearing the Western Shu clothing made me feel like tiny insects were crawling all over my back. Now that I was dressed in Eastern Chu clothes, I was overjoyed.
However, I didn't have the nerve to suggest going with Lan Feiyu in public, so we each went to different places with our maids. The hot water washed away the fatigue and grime from the past few days of travel, and temporarily eased the gloom in my heart. I changed into the clothes prepared by the maid—a light blue ruqun (a type of traditional Chinese dress). The fabric was soft and comfortable; although it wasn't an expensive material, the stitching was fine and neat, and it had a faint scent of soap. It fit me very well.
I tidied my still slightly damp hair, simply tied it up with a wooden hairpin, and then came out. Snacks and hot tea had already been prepared on the soft couch in the outer room. I was about to sit down and wait for her when I looked up and saw the curtain on the other side being gently lifted, and Lan Feiyu's figure appeared in the doorway.
For a moment, I almost thought I was seeing things.
Lan Feiyu, who had just been fleeing with me in a sorry state and looked somewhat haggard, now seemed like a completely different person.
She wore an elaborate dress I had never seen before, a rich, deep crimson gold, as if the molten gold of a setting sun had been draped over her. The collar, cuffs, and hem were embroidered with exquisite patterns in multicolored silk threads; upon closer inspection, they revealed countless birds in various poses, surrounding a central, blooming, peculiar flower that I still couldn't recognize. The flower's shape vaguely resembled the one tucked into her hair when we first met, but it was far more magnificent and dignified.
Her long hair was meticulously styled into an intricate bun, towering high, adorned with a uniquely designed gold hairpin. The main body of the hairpin was a phoenix with outstretched wings, its beak holding a string of tiny pearl tassels that swayed gently with her slight movements, shimmering with iridescent light. Although this headdress was not as enormous and extravagant as the one she had seen at first, it was more refined and elegant, perfectly complementing her magnificent attire.
I stared at her blankly, speechless for a moment. Her attire was different from what we had seen in Bozhou; it lacked the ruggedness of the frontier and possessed a more exotic elegance and royal majesty that was absent in the Central Plains dynasties.
"What's wrong? Are you stunned?" Seeing my expression, Lan Feiyu smiled faintly and walked slowly towards me. Her gorgeous skirt trailed on the ground, making a soft rustling sound.
"Yu'er...you..." I stammered, my gaze still fixed on her, "This dress..."
Lan Feiyu lowered her head, her expression seemingly complicated. She raised her hand to adjust the hairpin, stared at me, and whispered, "It's...it's your older brother, specially ordered by King Xinan...Xi'er, what does he mean by this?"
"What do you mean?" I repeated her question word for word.
I vaguely guessed what my older brother was thinking, but the next thing I said was a heartfelt exclamation: "Yu'er, you are so beautiful!"
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
