0143 Relapse
At four in the morning, realizing that no one was around her, Tantai Qing got up in the darkness.
"Ji Fan?"
After searching the room without success, he pushed open the door and went to the living room.
"clatter."
When the light was turned on, Tantai Qing breathed a sigh of relief upon seeing the figure sitting on the sofa with his back to her.
"Jifan, why did you suddenly get up..."
But when he got to her side, he paused.
The pristine white A4 paper on the table was tattered and covered in knife marks, all traces of the sharp utility knife in her hand.
In the silent space, the rustling sound of a sharp knife tip scraping against the paper sent a chill down one's spine.
Tantai Qing stared at her repeatedly drawing paper, and a cold sweat inexplicably broke out on his back.
The sharp tip of the knife seemed poised to slice into her wrist, which was resting beside the white paper, at any moment.
As if afraid of startling her, he slowly squatted down beside her, gently held her shoulders, and looked at her calm profile as he whispered, "Jifan, it's late. You have to go to work tomorrow. Let's go home and go to sleep early."
Jiang Jifan seemed not to hear, silently repeating the action of scraping the white paper with the tip of the knife, his expression mechanical, like a robot devoid of emotion.
"You go to sleep first." She replied in a clear, husky voice only after he asked again.
Seeing that he couldn't persuade her, Tantai Qing sat quietly beside her, trying to say something to distract her.
"Jifan, what would you like to have for breakfast tomorrow?"
After waiting a moment and seeing that she remained silent, he asked again.
"Stop asking, you're annoying."
Tantai Qingwei was slightly taken aback.
He stared at her cold profile and began to analyze whether she was currently conscious.
These are things she would never say to herself.
Seeing that the white paper had been torn to shreds by her, he got up and got a new stack of papers. After coaxing her to stop, he took the torn paper away and replaced it with a new one.
An hour later, the trash can was filled with her torn A4 papers.
Just as Tantai Qing was pondering how to get her to stop, she suddenly put down the utility knife in her hand, got up, and went back to her room.
He followed closely behind, and when he saw that she was able to enter the bedroom without any problems, Tantai Qing began to wonder if he was overthinking things. Perhaps she was just in a bad mood tonight and needed to find a way to vent her emotions.
It must have been due to lack of sleep, because when she woke up the next day, Tantai Qing had to call her several times before she finally did.
But when he brought up what happened last night, Jiang Jifan looked blank and said she had no recollection of it, even asking him if he was dreaming.
Now, Tantai Qing was even more convinced that she had sleepwalked last night.
"If you can't remember, then don't think about it. It's almost time. I'll take you there..." He patted her head, but suddenly stopped.
Looking down, I found a strand of hair inexplicably in my palm.
He was startled, but when she asked him what was wrong, he silently withdrew his hand and held the fallen hair in his palm.
"It's alright, let's go."
That evening, Jiang Jifan stayed in his study working after dinner.
After taking a shower, Tantai heated up a cup of milk and brought it to the study.
"Jifan, I heated up a cup of milk for you. I've put it on the table. Remember to drink it later."
He placed the milk on the table, and when she didn't respond, he said it again.
Jiang Jifan seemed to be angered by his interruption, slamming his hand on the keyboard and shouting, "I know! Can't you see I'm busy? Why do you keep bothering me?"
Tantai Qing paused, staring blankly at her.
This was the first time she had spoken so harshly to herself.
She was taken aback when she realized her lapse in composure.
"I'm sorry." Jiang Jifan quickly turned around and apologized to him, looking at him cautiously like a child who had done something wrong. "I'll drink it in a bit..."
Tantai Qing didn't say anything, but gave her a comforting smile, then said he wouldn't disturb her work and turned to leave.
After he left, Jiang Jifan scratched his head in distress, as if analyzing why he had suddenly become angry with him.
Her gaze inadvertently fell on her palm, and when she saw the clump of hair that had appeared out of nowhere, a bad feeling rose in her heart.
When Jiang Jifan returned to his room, he was already asleep. After taking a quick shower, Jiang Jifan went to bed.
Recalling the scene where she had just lost her temper with him for no reason, she hugged him from behind, feeling guilty.
A dampness gradually spread across her back. After a long while, Tantai Qing turned around and gently touched her sleeping face. Sure enough, there was a damp patch on her back.
He sighed silently.
Halfway through her sleep, Tantai Qing found Jiang Jifan again in the living room.
Knowing she was sleepwalking, he didn't say anything this time and just sat quietly beside her.
She's not using a knife to draw on the paper tonight; she's using a pen instead.
Tantai Qing stared at the circles she had drawn on the white paper and guessed that she was probably in a rather agitated state.
After the paper was filled with drawings, he quietly replaced it with a new one.
Tantai Qing was still pondering the meaning of the two "T"s she had written on the new paper when she realized that they must be an emoticon "TT".
"Ji Fan," he called out very softly.
He thought she wouldn't respond, but to his surprise, she stopped what she was doing and turned to look at him.
Her eyes were clear and her expression was calm. If Tantai Qing didn't know that she was sleepwalking, she would probably think that she was awake.
Jiang Jifan released the pen from his hand and suddenly leaned over to hug him.
The next morning, when Jiang Jifan woke up, she found herself sleeping naked on the living room sofa. She looked around and was completely confused when she saw the used condoms and tissues in the trash can.
"Taiqing?"
There was no response in the quiet house. Realizing that he might not be home, she put on the nightgown and underwear folded next to the sofa and went back to the bedroom to get her phone.
"Jifan, something came up and I have to go out. I might not be back until late. I've already told the housekeeper to come and cook lunch for you around noon..."
She had just turned on her phone when she saw the message he had left for her.
Because they rest at home on weekends, the housekeeper only comes to cook and clean for them on weekdays.
Perhaps fearing she might order takeout for convenience, he specifically asked the housekeeper to cook for her.
He was as meticulous as ever.
While feeling gratified, Jiang Jifan suddenly felt something was off.
She has no recollection of how they made love last night...
A familiar sense of crisis lingered in her mind, making her feel very uneasy.
Tantai Qing returned in the evening, bringing some of her favorite snacks.
"Jifan, what's wrong? Are you feeling unwell?" He had just entered the living room when he saw her pouring medicine from a bottle. He put down what he was holding and went over to ask.
Jiang Jifan didn't expect him to come back so quickly. He paused for a moment, then casually put the pills in his mouth, drank some water, and swallowed them before answering him, "I'm fine, just taking a few vitamin C pills."
Tantai Qing looked at her quietly, half believing and half doubting, but did not delve into it in front of her.
Three days later.
Tantai Qing sat in his study, looking at the drug test report in his hand, his face solemn.
"...used to treat manic episodes associated with bipolar disorder."
That day, he stayed in the study until late at night, something he hadn't done in a long time.
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