0152 Past (5000+)
After a long silence, Tantai Qing finally said in a deep voice, "I didn't."
He has never been good at lying, and Jiang Jifan saw through his lie at a glance.
She recalled the events of the past few days in her mind, and he, being always observant, had probably already figured it out.
She sat up, turned on the light, looked down at him, and said bluntly, "What Nannan said is not what I meant. I have never had such thoughts."
Although for a moment at first, Jiang Jifan also felt that he was very similar to Chi Wei, in the later time they spent together, she completely understood that he and Chi Wei were two completely different individuals.
Tantai Qing is mature and steady, handling everything with ease. He is the kind of person who will openly reveal all his love to her. Chi Wei, on the other hand, possesses the purity and spirit of youth. He is a young man who is still shy and reserved when facing himself.
Tantai Qing slowly turned around to look at her.
Jiang Jifan leaned down and rested her head on his shoulder, looking into his eyes and whispering, "Right now, you're the only one in my heart."
She was least skilled at sweet talk, and her words inevitably revealed a bit of awkwardness.
Now? Does that mean she's admitting she had feelings for Chi Wei in the past...?
Tantai Qing felt extremely bitter, experiencing jealousy for the first time because of a man.
He previously disregarded Xu Zhengyan because he felt that Xu was incomparable to himself, understood that he posed no threat to him, and knew that there was no possibility between Jiang Jifan and him.
But Chi Wei's appearance made him feel like he was facing a formidable enemy, and like a fishbone stuck in his throat.
His experience a few days ago served as a stark reminder that someone had once been a part of Jiang Jifan's youth, leaving her with unforgettable memories.
Tantai Qing recalled the necklace. That day, she didn't tell him that she had taken the wrong one; instead, she acted as if nothing had happened.
For a fleeting moment, he even wondered if she had deliberately made him retrieve the necklace.
She didn't care about his feelings at all; she only wanted to wear the token that symbolized their relationship and see the most beautiful memories of her youth...
Tantai Qing knew that his thoughts were terrible, but he just couldn't stop them from wandering off into wild ideas.
The thought that the necklace had appeared because of his mistake filled him with deep regret, and he even blamed himself for taking the wrong one.
What Xiang Nannan said is wrong; he's not magnanimous at all, he's extremely petty...
Seeing that he remained silent, as if lost in thought, Jiang Jifan leaned down and gently kissed his lips, whispering, "Taiqing, we've been together for a long time..."
Tantai Qing snapped out of her reverie and, upon seeing the bright and beautiful face before her, without waiting for her to finish speaking, lowered her head and kissed those pink lips without hesitation.
That's enough, as long as she loves him now, as long as she belongs to him now...
He was especially vigorous tonight, as if he wanted to make up for all the lovemaking they had missed during this period.
Everything made Jiang Jifan feel utterly defeated.
"Ah... Taiqing... slow down..." she cried out, clinging tightly to his shoulders, trying to bring him back to his senses.
Upon hearing this, Tantai Qing's movements indeed softened considerably. He lowered his head to kiss her neck, held her hands tightly, and together they journeyed to bliss.
Afterwards, Jiang Jifan pressed his head against his well-defined abdomen, closed his eyes, and breathed heavily.
The man, seemingly satisfied, leaned against the headboard, casually smoothing her messy, sweat-soaked hair.
"Don't you have any questions for me?" After a moment of respite, Jiang Jifan propped himself up against his chest and asked softly.
Tantai Qing looked down at her, his half-closed eyes concealing most of his emotions, making it impossible to discern his true feelings at that moment.
"I don't want to ask anymore," he said.
That means there's a problem.
She pursed her lips, "Chi Wei and I..."
The hand that was around her shoulder suddenly tightened.
Jiang Jifan paused for a moment, but in the end, he decided to brave the pressure and take the initiative to break through this barrier.
She and Chi Wei met in the Japanese language club at university.
Originally, she had no intention of joining any clubs, because there was an application fee for joining clubs at that time. Jiang Jifan's faint idea vanished as soon as she learned about this rule.
Xing Yeye, who seems carefree but is actually quite shrewd, had already secretly solved the problem for her, quietly paying her club fees without her knowledge.
Jiang Jifan was flattered when he found out and immediately declined to go, saying he would help her get the registration fee back.
But Xing Yeye was no ordinary person; she wouldn't let anyone actually do that. So she resorted to crying, making a scene, and threatening suicide, relentlessly urging her to go.
In the end, Jiang Jifan found it difficult to refuse her "kindness".
Jiang Jifan's first meeting with Chi Wei was at the freshman orientation meeting of the club. Her initial impression of him was just "a handsome and gentle senior." If it weren't for what happened later, she would never have paid any attention to him.
For the New Year's Eve party, Jiang Jifan was recommended by the counselor in charge of the event to be the host.
However, being a newcomer to the unfamiliar metropolis, she was not enthusiastic about these activities, and more likely, she was afraid that her ignorance would be exposed to others.
Yes, she was afraid of embarrassing herself, so she declined at the time.
It wasn't until later, when the original host had an accident and the school couldn't find a better candidate, that she was forced to accept this temporary job.
However, Jiang Jifan's prediction was accurate.
On the day of the gala, while getting her makeup done backstage, she asked the makeup artist a few questions about the purpose of the cosmetics used on her face. A senior from the dance department, who was also getting her makeup done backstage, mocked her, saying, "People from the countryside probably haven't used such high-end cosmetics before. It's normal that they don't know."
If it were in the past, she probably would have retaliated long ago, but because she was telling the truth, even Jiang Jifan, who was always sharp-tongued, was unable to refute her.
Being subtly insulted in front of everyone, and so loudly, was incredibly embarrassing for Jiang Jifan. However, she was never one to swallow her anger. Just as she was thinking about how to retaliate perfectly, Chi Wei came in from outside, staring seriously at the girl who had just mocked her, and said, "You're right. No matter how expensive or beautiful some cosmetics are, they can't cover up the ugly hearts of some people."
Jiang Jifan was surprised that such a gentle-looking guy could be so sarcastic. He then looked at the girl he had just confronted, whose face turned from white to green instantly. He immediately had a different opinion of him.
She was, after all, one of his admirers, but she never expected him to be so disrespectful to her. The dance major stomped her foot, so angry that she stopped applying her makeup and turned to leave.
Later, while waiting backstage, Chi Wei made a point of comforting her.
Jiang Jifan thought he was a good person.
Later, she had already become popular during military training, and that night she became famous overnight for her outstanding appearance while hosting a program.
Jiang Jifan was good-looking and had excellent grades. The school leaders liked this kind of student the most, and unsurprisingly, he later became the school's go-to host.
Because of hosting the program, she often partnered with Chi Wei. During their exchanges, Jiang Jifan found that he often shared the same views as her.
She was shocked at the time—there was someone in the world who shared such similar values as her. In addition, the two had many things in common, and naturally they gradually became closer.
Because the two often spent time together, rumors inevitably arose. Jiang Jifan, fearing it would have a negative impact on the other party, denied the rumors many times.
However, the teachers and classmates at school have already assumed that they are in a romantic relationship. Whenever Chi Wei is around, Jiang Jifan will definitely be teased by everyone.
Many times, Jiang Jifan was unaware that she was sick, but Chi Wei noticed it before her and thoughtfully brought her the appropriate medication.
Suddenly becoming a well-known figure on campus, she encountered many unfair treatments. Whenever she embarrassed herself because of some common sense she didn't know, he would stand up for her immediately when others ostracized and ridiculed her.
He was always incredibly gentle and forgiving towards her, and encouraged her to try many new things.
Even Jiang Jifan's first time eating Western food was at his invitation.
At that time, her faded jeans seemed so out of place in the luxuriously decorated Western restaurant.
That was the first time she felt incredibly inferior in front of him and ashamed of her terrible background.
Who could have imagined that ten years ago, Jiang Jifan was a fool who couldn't even use a knife and fork?
Despite this, Chi Wei never viewed her with prejudice; on the contrary, he patiently taught her many things.
He personally taught Jiang Jifan how to play golf, ride horses, and other recreational activities common in high society. It was during this time that Jiang Jifan gradually transformed from a clueless country bumpkin into a semi-urbanite who knew a little about everything.
However, some real-world problems are unavoidable. Although she has gradually integrated into the metropolis under his guidance, the various gaps between the two still make Jiang Jifan feel that he is undoubtedly an ugly duckling in front of him.
Even the fearless Jiang Jifan has moments when she feels inferior and embarrassed in front of the person she likes.
Just when she was secretly hoping that one day she could stand shoulder to shoulder with him, reality dealt her the heaviest blow.
During her sophomore year, because of Lu Xuezhen's incident, thousands of negative posts related to her appeared on the school forum. Jiang Jifan only found out later that Chi Wei had dealt with all those posts that slandered and spread rumors about her.
At that time, everyone in the school avoided her like the plague. It is no exaggeration to say that her originally good reputation plummeted overnight.
This matter became a topic of conversation among everyone, and even the boys in one of the dorms openly "discussed" Jiang Jifan in front of Chi Wei.
Chi Wei was naturally furious that a few foul-mouthed scoundrels would speak so ill of someone she cherished. To the point that she later disregarded school rules and regulations and, for the first time in her life, physically assaulted someone.
Jiang Jifan, who had been feeling down for a month, received a call from Chi Wei at that time.
At that time, she had just been "teached awake" by Xing Yeye and was still in a transitional period. When she saw his call, she subconsciously wanted to hang up, but when she remembered the bits and pieces of the past between the two of them, and how he still tried his best to maintain his broken image in front of others, she couldn't help but soften her heart.
Jiang Jifan finally answered his call.
During the phone call, he said he had received an offer to study as an exchange student at the University of Tokyo and wanted to see her one last time before going to Japan.
She had forgotten how she answered, only remembering that after hanging up the phone, she felt numb, yet also a sense of indescribable relief.
They arranged to meet at a coffee shop near the school that day, a place they frequented.
A month later, when Jiang Jifan sat in his usual spot again, everything felt incredibly unfamiliar.
This small café holds many memories for the two of them; they used to discuss their studies, chat about life, and dream about the future here...
They haven't seen each other since that incident. Jiang Jifan has completely curled up like a hedgehog, exposing his sharp quills to outsiders, making people afraid to approach him easily.
Chi Wei, who witnessed her downfall, was undoubtedly heartbroken. He had tried various methods to help her resolve her inner conflict, but to no avail, leaving him feeling utterly helpless.
Chi Wei is such a smart person that he could guess what she was thinking just from the fact that she didn't give him any reply.
Both of them knew perfectly well that they could never go back to the way things were at the beginning.
He was someone who never wanted to force others, and fearing that his presence would further affect her, Chi Wei decided to use the opportunity of "going to the University of Tokyo as an exchange student" to sever the relationship between the two.
He admitted that he was cowardly, simply because he couldn't accept the regret between them so readily.
So, after everything calmed down, he chose to leave.
"You've lost weight." After nearly ten minutes of silence, he spoke first.
Jiang Jifan, who had been looking down, finally looked up at him.
To see him, she deliberately dyed her dry, frizzy blonde hair black the day before, just so that he would still remember her as a beautiful and lovely person when he thought of her in the future.
After learning that she was going to meet Chi Wei, Xing Yeye spent all her money on her face, so even though she was thin and weak at the moment, she was still exquisite and beautiful.
Chi Wei stared at her beautiful face, a bitter taste rising in her mouth. She didn't even have the courage to look directly at her, and lowered her head, whispering, "I'm going to Japan soon. You need to take good care of yourself..."
He gave him detailed instructions like a family member, but the more he did so, the more heartbroken and reluctant Jiang Jifan felt.
"Okay." Her voice was slightly hoarse after not speaking for a long time.
Jiang Jifan looked at him with a hint of pity in his eyes, forcing a very forced smile, trying his best to appear natural and carefree, "I wish you a happy life in Japan."
Chi Wei responded gently, "Thank you."
The two remained silent for a long time before Jiang Jifan finally took his leave.
Just as she was about to turn and leave, Chi Wei suddenly called out to her.
"Jifan, may I... hug you?" He stood there, his expression visibly sad and reluctant.
Upon hearing him say those words, Jiang Jifan could no longer hold back her tears and could only nod frantically through her tears.
Her sudden tears startled Chi Wei, and his heart skipped a beat. He quickly stepped forward and carefully embraced her thin body.
The boy's embrace felt warm and reliable, and Jiang Jifan couldn't suppress his feelings, indulging in his last moment of warmth.
Jiang Jifan will never know that on the day of her accident, Chi Wei had made thorough preparations to confess his feelings to her. In fact, to ensure the plan went smoothly, he even went to the teaching building to wait for her.
But instead of receiving an answer from his beloved, he was filled with anticipation; all he got was a lifetime of nightmares and regrets.
Xing Yeye once asked Jiang Jifan why Chi Wei was so important to her.
Jiang Jifan didn't know how to answer at the time, but after many years of reflection, he finally had a clear answer in his heart.
That's because Chi Wei happened to appear at the most passionate and sincere age of hers, undoubtedly occupying the most beautiful memories of her youth. Similarly, he was the first man to get a perfect score in her heart, so much so that when a second perfect man appeared later, he could no longer create the same magnificent waves for her as Chi Wei had done.
After hearing about their past, Tantai Qing sighed softly, now fully understanding why she cared so much about Chi Wei.
The heart-fluttering moments of youth are so deeply etched in our memories, how could we easily forget them...?
He could understand all of this, but because he was a man, he also had a possessive desire for his lover.
Tantai Qing tenderly kissed away the tears on her cheek, pressed his face against hers, and whispered, "I understand, but I still selfishly hope that you will never shed tears for any man other than me again."
"No more..." Jiang Jifan murmured, nuzzling his face, looking dependent.
That situation will never happen again. She and Chi Wei ended things ten years ago. Their reunion in Japan was just a moment of sadness caused by suddenly being reminded of past memories.
"Sorry, I'm stingy." Tantai Qing casually stroked her bare neck, and when he thought of the necklace Chi Wei had given her, he couldn't help but feel a pang of unease.
A slight itch came from his neck. Jiang Jifan, who had initially thought he was just apologizing for not being close to her during this time, suddenly realized what was going on.
She turned to face him and said directly, "That necklace..."
Should she say that she didn't wear it on purpose, or that she didn't know it was a necklace given to her by Chi Wei?
Jiang Jifan paused for a moment, then suddenly realized that nothing he said would be appropriate, and it was very likely to backfire and increase his misunderstanding.
After figuring it all out, she leaned on his shoulder dejectedly, looking at his profile and said, "I don't know how to explain it to you, but anyway, I didn't wear that necklace for anyone."
“I understand, so you don’t need to explain.” Tantai Qing patted her head, his gaze gentle and soothing, instantly calming her somewhat agitated heart.
He believed in her, and he knew he had no right to care about her past.
After realizing that the misunderstanding between them had been cleared up, Jiang Jifan smiled with relief and leaned in to kiss the corner of his lips.
The author writes: A tragic ending where two people are in love but just one step away is more regrettable than a tragic ending where they have the love but then lose it. One can only say that Tantai Qing was luckier than Chi Wei, and also had more courage and determination.
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