Chapter 27
Where does shame come from? Simply put, it's like having a 'mirror' in your mind. When you don't meet the requirements and can't accept your shortcomings, shame arises.
Guan Shiyun looked at this familiar scene, and with practiced ease, she rubbed her forehead. She then glanced at the messy scene out of the corner of her eye. The little rascal was still being obnoxious, but this time he wasn't lying there in dissatisfaction. Instead, he looked smug.
He was lying on his side, propped up on his arm, looking at her. His cheeks were flushed, his body was covered in spots, his eyes were full of flirtatious glances, and he was playfully exchanging affectionate looks with her.
Yes, after this incident, in this state of mind, it was the good thing she did.
"Sister, hug me."
"Okay." Guan Shiyun turned off the bedside lamp and lay down.
Li Miao crawled over like a caterpillar, snuggling into Guan Shiyun's most familiar embrace. She had been tricking her for a long time before she succeeded. Holding Guan Shiyun's waist, she felt a sense of satisfaction, as if a small heater was burning warmly inside her.
"Sister, are you unhappy? Why didn't you take me to take a bath this time?"
"I'm not unhappy. I think you're right. If you're tired, don't make things harder for yourself. Take a shower tomorrow." Guan Shiyun nuzzled her chin against the person in her arms and kissed her hair. She no longer needed to take a shower to escape the ambiguous atmosphere.
She just couldn't face the fact that she had crossed the line. She was worried that Li Miao wasn't doing it willingly. She was afraid that one day the person in her arms would regret it, that Li Miao was just trying to please her, and that one day she would bring up what she had done and nail her to the pillar of shame.
"Sister, I'm scared. Do you not want to do it with me?"
"It's not that I'm unwilling, I'm willing, I'm just... afraid you're forcing me."
Li Miao hugged Guan Shiyun even tighter. She was really flustered. It felt like the fire in the small stove had been blown out. She wasn't afraid that Guan Shiyun would get angry and throw her out. Seeing Guan Shiyun like this, Li Miao felt like she had really done something wrong.
"If you weren't forced, were you just shy?" Li Miao asked.
"A little, but it's okay." Guan Shiyun felt the person in her arms was uneasy, so she gently patted her back to comfort her. The part of herself that had been changed by the kitten could now face her desires with confidence.
"I like you, sister." The darkness could easily conceal the lie, and it also prevented people from seeing those innocent and clear eyes.
"Okay, I understand." Guan Shiyun thought, let's just take it as true for now.
Li Miao felt annoyed by Guan Shiyun's reply. She was indeed lying, but she truly believed what she said was true. There was no other explanation for why she would do this, or why she wanted to be with Guan Shiyun forever, except that she liked her. Did she really want to listen to that possessed idea? Compared to that ghostly idea hidden in her mind, she was more willing to believe Lin Bei.
"Why won't you believe me? Why do you insist on sticking to your stupid principle? I've already said I won't regret it, and I'm working hard and following your arrangements. So what's the difference between doing it now and doing it a year or two later? Do you want me to leave to prove you're right? Or do you just think I'm young, and that my thoughts and decisions are naive and unimportant?"
Li Miao's words touched a nerve with Guan Shiyun, but she didn't try to prove herself right with principles. Instead, she was afraid. She was genuinely afraid that it was just an act to please her, so she preferred to wait patiently and judge with reason rather than with emotion.
Why she likes Li Miao is straightforward and passionate; all her likes and dislikes are crystal clear. Perhaps she could also say it directly instead of hiding it and processing it herself.
"Meow, I'm scared." Guan Shiyun took a deep breath.
"Yes, I'm scared. I'm afraid that your affection for me is just flattery, an act. Even if there's just a little bit of reluctance, without anyone else criticizing me, my principles will condemn me to shame. That's immoral." He spoke patiently, gently patting the person in his arms.
“That’s not a broken principle. You chose me in the first place precisely because of this broken principle, and now you’re complaining that this broken principle is getting in your way. I don’t think you’re naive. It’s true that you’re young, but naivety and drive are two different things that come with youth. I can’t like your straightforwardness and enthusiasm while simultaneously criticizing you for being naive. That would be wrong.”
Li Miao didn't understand the reasoning Guan Shiyun was talking about. But when she heard Guan Shiyun's tone no longer as firm and gentle as usual, and it was choked with sobs, her heart ached, as if being pricked by needles.
Then, she showered Guan Shiyun with delicate, persistent kisses. She wanted to kiss the bad woman she was with now so that her heart wouldn't ache so much. She wouldn't listen to the bad woman's seduction; she wanted to seduce Guan Shiyun. Even if it happened a hundred times, she would never regret any of her decisions.
"Don't guard anymore, wouldn't it be better to be like me?"
"I uphold my own principles, so I never ask others to do the same, and I certainly won't try to ask you or change you. You... you should respect my choices, okay? Meow meow, I love you, so I'll accept everything about you. Just like tonight, a monk can't blame the meat for breaking his vow of vegetarianism, and I can't blame you for breaking my own principles, but... but I'll feel guilty."
In the darkness, Li Miao used the nail art that this wicked woman had tricked her into getting to do, and slowly traced and touched the very familiar person in her nails. She could feel the evasion, so she grabbed those hands and raised them above her head. She wanted Guan Shiyun to surrender, to be as unrestrained and carefree as she was, and not to feel guilty.
Her eyelashes trembled slightly, her nose brushed against her lips, and she lightly pecked at the corner of her mouth, always keeping a distance between them—a truly seductive gesture.
"What about time? If I stick to my principles for a year or two, I still can't catch up with the eight-year gap between us. How much time do you have to wait for me?"
"Agreeing to your offer of being my sugar daddy was a violation of my principles because of my selfish desire to like you. Whether you like me or you leave, it's all the price I have to pay."
"It's definitely true that I like you, kiss me." Guan Shiyun turned her head away.
Li Miao knew she couldn't sway Guan Shiyun at all. Even if she succeeded, this wicked woman wouldn't give in. Guan Shiyun never blamed her, only felt guilty. But how much time could they afford to waste?
So what if she lied? The fact that she likes Guan Shiyun is definitely true. She doesn't want to waste Guan Shiyun's time waiting for her, waiting for something she can't prove with words.
Those who are unwilling to waste time will no longer linger and seduce, but will find their lips to cover and deepen the entanglement. The unreasonable always get what they want, or perhaps darkness allows lies to be hidden, allowing those who stand by their principles to briefly hypnotize themselves.
——'Others' Eyes' Studio
The morning sunlight streamed through the street corner, illuminating the glass door of the studio. A colorful balloon archway adorned with silver ribbons swayed gently in the breeze. Flower baskets lined up on both sides of the shop entrance. Lin Bei, looking energetic, handed out opening flyers to passersby. Several other people were also calling out and promoting their businesses, but Li Miao didn't recognize them and waved in greeting.
"Lin Goubei, Boss Lin! We're here!" Lin Bei turned around when she heard the voice, and two figures walked towards her.
The girl on the left, oh, also her sister, was dressed differently today than usual. She wore a short, loose oatmeal-colored blazer over a cream-colored turtleneck top, layered with a navy blue French shirt. The top two buttons of the collar were casually undone, and the high-waisted straight-leg jeans perfectly accentuated her long, straight legs. Lin Bei couldn't help but sigh inwardly, her sister seemed to have become a bit smarter. Was this what they meant by a lazy yet sophisticated style?
Ms. Guan was as elegant and gentle as ever, wearing a cream-colored knitted cardigan with a dress. Although the two walked side by side with different styles, their matching colors complemented each other, making them look like couples. Her sister held Ms. Guan's hand tightly, their fingers intertwined, their eyes sparkling with affection.
"Li Goumiao, Boss Guan, please go inside and sit for a while. I'll come find you later."
"Alright, Mr. Lin, you go ahead with your work. We'll go to the buffet." As she spoke, Li Miao turned her head to look at Guan Shiyun and casually tucked a stray hair behind Guan Shiyun's ear.
If she weren't so busy, Lin Bei thought she would like to take a picture of this scene, but keeping it in her mind is just as good, hmm? What was Li Miao giving her? Okay, Lin Bei understands.
Li Miao turned her head to show off the hickey on her neck! No need to record it anymore, Lin Bei rolled her eyes at the idea of tidying up her lover's stray hairs.
"Go on, order some food, it's on me. Otherwise, it'll be boring staying here. I'll have to wait a while. You guys go inside and take a look around. You can also give me your opinions if you have any." Li Miao led Guan Shiyun into the store as if they were coming home.
Guan Shiyun noticed Lin Bei's slightly subtle expression and wondered if something had happened at the shop. Then she turned and saw Li Miao's smug look, and behind her ear…
She finally understood what this little rascal meant. Did he really want everyone to know that he had slept with her? Perhaps it was because of the morning light, but Guan Shiyun's face was a little red, probably not from anger or embarrassment.
"Sister, why is your face red?" Li Miao asked, puzzled.
Guan Shiyun glared at the little rascal and changed the subject.
"I feel everything is fine. As for the problems, those will only gradually emerge during the operation of the store, and we can resolve them slowly."
After saying that, she ignored Li Miao and wandered around the store. The style felt very fresh and relaxing. She always felt that many girls were not incapable of achieving anything, but just lacked opportunities. Lin Bei had indeed done a great job. Whether it was the store's layout or the opening today, everything was done in an orderly manner.
Seeing that Guan Shiyun ignored her and even let go of her hand, Li Miao frowned and walked up to Guan Shiyun. She walked backward with Guan Shiyun's steps, staring at her without saying a word, waiting for Guan Shiyun to look at her.
Guan Shiyun looked at the shop's layout and glanced at the puffed-up kitten in front of her. It was so cute. In the end, she couldn't resist and gently took the kitten's paw, stroking it with her fingers.
"Who told you to be naughty again?"
"Hmph! I'm going to tell my friends that I like you, and I'm going to tell a lot of other people too."
Li Miaocai doesn't care. Guan Shiyun said she was lying, so she'll let everyone know the 'lie'. Guan Shiyun said she was afraid she was being forced to do it for money, so she'll follow Guan Shiyun's arrangements, earn a lot of money, and then stay by her side.
If she can't prove with words that Li Miao likes Guan Shiyun, then she should think of another way; King Li has plenty of strength and means.
Seeing the stubbornness in the cat's eyes, Guan Shiyun seemed to feel more at ease, and the guilt that had been overwhelming her also faded a lot. Gently, a kiss landed on the corner of Li Miao's mouth.
"Sister, I love you."
—This must be true, Li Miao was certain.
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