"But he kept his eyes tightly closed and didn't even give me a chance to apologize. Now that I think about it, he was quite selfish. He made me suffer and blame myself for three years."
"Don't worry, I won't... I won't let you have any regrets. I don't blame you for what happened three years ago. To be more precise, I don't blame you now."
"I think if it was me then, I would make the same decision, just like today. If it was him, he would also block the knife."
"You...don't blame that girl. I was the one who caused the knife attack. I could see that she could have dodged the man, but I blocked the knife in advance. I don't want to live anymore. I miss him so much. I want to go find him."
Si Youli had stopped breathing and looked down at her pale hands, tears falling on them.
Small flowers bloom in a blur.
Ning An's gaze fell on Bai You again, and it was becoming increasingly difficult for her to hold on.
His eyes closed and opened again, and his voice grew lower and lower.
Si Youli didn't want her to continue talking, "Let's stop talking, okay? Let's take a break, take a break."
Ning An smiled, swallowed his saliva to ease the pain, and then continued: "I know you can dodge that knife, there is no need for me to block it. I just don't want to live anymore, I want to find him, so don't blame yourself, all of this is my own fault, it's... I... I... I asked for it..."
The voice became lower and lower, until finally, no one could hear what she was saying.
Her eyes slowly closed, and the last trace of heat in her body disappeared.
The fingers placed on Si Youli's palm slowly slid down.
Before it completely fell, Si Youli caught it again.
He didn't even dare to look up at her eyes, but just stared at her hands, tears falling like beads from a broken string.
Yu Yan leaned her head tightly against the operating table, tears falling drop by drop on the cold tiles.
Bai You looked at the person who had stopped breathing and turned his head away uncomfortably.
She knew how much pain she was in, and also knew how difficult it was for her to finally say those muddled and illogical words.
She just wanted to say everything she could as quickly as possible and didn't want to make others feel uncomfortable because of her.
Bai You cried so hard that her tears wet Lu Yunxiao's clothes.
He tightened his grip on her, motioned for Jian Yichen to go out, and took Bai You out with him.
In the ward, Si Youli held Ning An's hand. Her hand had completely lost its temperature and was becoming harder and harder.
In fact, he knew that she was asleep, he just didn't want to face it, he just wanted to lie to her.
Si Youli rubbed Ning An's hand and said to Yu Yan in a dull voice: "Can I be alone with her for a while?"
Yu Yan raised her head, glanced at Ning An, whose eyes were tightly closed, wiped her tears, and stood up.
Looking at Si Youli, she wanted to say something to him. But in the end, she just walked out in silence without saying a word.
Si Youli did not allow anyone to enter the operating room and sat there from evening until dawn.
When Mr. and Mrs. Si heard about it, they were furious.
It was Yu Yan who stepped forward to stop them.
Ning An's funeral was held three days later.
She hadn't informed her classmates that since that man died, she had been like a wandering ghost, not saying a word unless it was necessary.
Her classmates are just classmates, so it’s better not to keep in touch with them.
So her funeral was extremely simple, with only Yu Yan and a few others attending.
Si Youli buried her and the man together and chose a cemetery with particularly good feng shui.
She missed that man so much. If she knew they were buried together, she would definitely be very happy.
Bai You looked at the young girl's face on the tombstone, and was numb and unresponsive.
She had witnessed so many lives and deaths, and seen so many corpses, that she thought she had become accustomed to it.
Isn't that what life is all about, birth and death?
It's fate, you can't change it.
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