When my mother heard what the villagers said, she said "OK" stiffly.
The next day, my mother took me to visit relatives as the villagers wished. However, my older sister also went with us, while my younger sister went to other people's homes with my father. I was ten years old at that time, but I felt unfair and wronged, and wanted to cry.
The villager was my aunt. She was very kind and treated me very well. When she saw me and my sister, she came to meet us. I clearly saw that she was running towards me, but my mother stopped her.
[Her aunt, this is Lianlian. It's been a while since we last met. Have you become prettier?]
My aunt glanced at me, then at my mother, and finally her gaze fell on my sister. She raised her hand and touched her head. "Yes, you've become more beautiful again."
When my mother heard what my aunt said, she laughed happily. I know, I have always known that in my mother's eyes, there are only her eldest daughter and her youngest daughter. As for me, I am probably just a filler.
After touching my sister, my aunt wanted to touch me, but my mother stopped her outstretched hand, and walked inside holding my aunt with one hand and my sister with the other. I could only stay where I was, looking at their harmonious backs. For the first time, I wanted to ask my mother why, why did she treat me like this, and whether I was her child.
My aunt looked at my sister and me and said to my mother, "The children have grown up so fast! Time flies. You two girls are so beautiful."
When my mother heard what my aunt said, she seemed particularly excited. She pulled my sister over and said to my aunt with a smile, "This little girl of mine is not only beautiful, but also very good at her work and is very capable. My little daughter has grown up a lot and is already eight years old this year."
When my mother talked about my older sister and younger sister, the smile in her eyes could not be hidden. That was her pride, her source of pride. From beginning to end, my mother never mentioned me. No, to be precise, she didn't even look at me. And I felt very sad when I saw my mother holding my sister's hand.
My aunt seemed to see through my mother's attitude and stopped asking me. She just looked at me and sighed.
That year, I was ten years old. It was the first time my mother took me to visit relatives in the countryside, and it was also the last time. Besides her reluctance, I also didn't want to go, because the partiality in her heart and eyes made me feel very uncomfortable.
When I was twelve years old, my sister and I were infected with chickenpox at the same time. Our bodies were covered with dense chickenpox, which was painful and itchy.
My mother looked at my sister's face full of acne and burst into tears with heartache. She turned around, looked at me, and poked my head hard with her hand. Her hands were not only rough but also very strong. The poke on my head was so painful that I couldn't bear her strength and took a few steps back.
I told you to stay home and not go out, but you refused to listen and ran out, catching chickenpox from someone else and causing your sister to get it too. Are you satisfied? Do you know what you've done to our family and how much extra money it's costing us? Don't you want to study anymore? Where's the money for your medicine? You only cause trouble and can't help us at all.
I was powerless to refute what my mother said. Although I didn't know if I brought the chickenpox back with me, it was indeed caused by me coming home from playing. My tears flowed uncontrollably. I was also a patient, but the treatment I received was completely different.
My mother looked at my tears and seemed even angrier.
[Cry, cry, cry, all you do is cry. How dare you cry? You're such a troublemaker.]
My mother's "evil spirit" made me stop crying. At that time, my mind was filled with the words "evil spirit." At twelve years old, I was already in sixth grade. I knew exactly what these three words meant, and even more so, what they represented. I never realized that in this family of five, I wasn't just the extraneous one, but the one who caused harm. Would anyone who came into contact with me become unhappy? At that moment, I truly began to doubt myself as an evil spirit. Otherwise, why would my own mother call me that?
The chickenpox was very serious that time, and my mother had to buy medicine for my sister and me. However, few children were willing to take medicine, and my sister and I were no exception.
My mother was afraid that my sister’s chickenpox wouldn’t heal, so in order to coax her into taking medicine, she bought her several beautiful flower-themed hairpins.
[Lianlian, after you take the medicine, Mommy will give you these beautiful hairpins to wear, okay?]
Girls have no resistance to these beautiful objects. Although my sister was reluctant to take the medicine, she still closed her eyes and swallowed the medicine after looking at the hairpins. She got her beloved hairpins as she wished.
I stared at the pills in my hand, tears blurred my eyes. Hair, I also wanted to have long hair and wear beautiful hairpins, but my mother said that the hair was too long and it would be a waste of shampoo, so she cut my long hair, but she kept my sister's hair.
Same illness, same medicine, but such different treatment. I don’t know if I’m used to it, but this time I didn’t cry. It turns out that enduring grievances can become a habit.
I used to think medicine was very bitter and unpalatable, but this time, when I took it, I didn’t taste anything. I don’t know if the medicine was no longer bitter, or if my heart was too bitter, covering up the bitterness of the medicine.
My sister watched me swallow all the medicine in one gulp and her eyes widened in surprise.
[Mom, when has Xiaoyu ever stopped being afraid of taking medicine? He swallowed it all in one gulp. He's amazing.]
[That was her fault. If she didn't eat, would she die of illness?]
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